“He’s going to come first for me too, but we’ve talked about this. Why aren’t we allowed to have a life too? The happier his parents are the better example we can give him.”

  “I know you’re right. That is part of the reason I told him about us. And it helped to say it and then he knows we are together tonight. He even made a comment on how his friend’s parents have date night and asked if it was the same.”

  “Then maybe this is something we have to continue with.”

  “I’d like that, but I don’t think it’s smart to send Tommy off to the grandparents’ house so that you and I can have a date either. I don’t want him to think he’s coming in second.”

  “He’s not and he won’t. Our situation is different and we can work it out. But again, this is part of the reason I’d like the family vacation.”

  “Which I agreed to.”

  “You did,” he said. “But something told me if I didn’t push it a bit you would have preferred we didn’t. I guess the question is why?”

  “Does it matter?” she asked.

  “It does to me,” he said.

  “At some point you are going to want Tommy for a week or more. I know that and I can’t fight it. I guess this is a good compromise. But if we are being honest and I’m promising to be, I’d like to spend the time with you too.”

  “I’m glad you finished that statement the way you did,” he said. Otherwise he was going to get all worked up again.

  “If things continue to work out between us, then we’ll figure out how to spend time together as a family. I know you want to ask for more and aren’t. Just be aware I know that. I appreciate you not putting the pressure on me, but I know the time will come when you will.”

  “If we continue in this relationship, then yes. We need to talk about the future. We can drop all these deep conversations now though. I had plans for tonight and don’t want us to get in a pissing match before I can show you how much I want to be with you.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. Did you have any plans for tomorrow?” she asked.

  “No. I figured we could just relax after we pick Tommy up in the morning. Unless there is something you want to do,” he said.

  “Relaxing sounds good.”

  And when they were back at his house, he started to run his massive tub and filled it with bubbles. She wanted to relax and he had every intention of it.

  “I know you’ve been dying to get in here but won’t ask. We’ve got the house to ourselves and can take advantage of it. Do you want to check in with Tommy first?”

  “I already did. He didn’t answer me, so I texted your mother and she said he was having a blast in the pool. He got out to talk to me quickly, then went back in the water. I said I’d call him when he goes to bed.”

  He looked at his watch while he took it off and set it on the counter. “We’ve got a few hours then and can make them count. Then we’ve got the rest of the night.”

  “That’s a lot of bubbles,” she said when they started to rise up to the rim.

  “If you’re going to have a bubble bath then you should damn well make sure it’s a good one.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” she said. “And it’s not Tommy’s bubbles either.”

  “Nope. This bottle has some essential oils in it too.”

  She picked the bottle up that was on the ledge. “It looks like it’s new too.”

  “I bought it for us. Don’t get any ideas in your head,” he said.

  “Sorry. Expensive too.”

  “I think you’re worth it.”

  He took his shirt off and she did the same. Soon they were both naked and though he always wanted to just reach for her, then bury himself deep inside of her, they didn’t this time.

  He turned the taps off and climbed in the tub and sat down. She did the same, sitting in front of him. His hands went to her shoulders and started to knead and squeeze.

  “You’re so tense. Why?”

  “No clue. Maybe it’s excitement for what we are going to do in here.”

  “Good answer,” he said, his hands going around to her breasts, his mouth to her neck. “I can’t get enough of you. Every time I see you I just want to touch and taste you.”

  “The feeling is the same,” she said, her head falling back and giving him better access.

  “Then we need to take advantage of it as best we can.” His hand slipped down between her legs and though they were in the water he felt the difference in her wetness. “I love how you react to me. You’ve always been this way.”

  “Only for you,” she said quietly and he wondered if she meant to say that.

  No time to ask and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer if she tried to deny it. Instead he slid a finger inside of her and started to pump it in and out.

  After a minute she reached down and stopped his hand. “What?” he said. “Am I being too rough?”

  “Nope. I just like feeling your cock inside me better.”

  She never talked like that with him. Not that it was dirty talk. Not like some of the women and things he’d done with others.

  But hearing the word from her mouth made him want to pick her up and slam her down on top of him.

  She beat him to it though, turning around and cupping his cheeks in her hands and looking into his eyes. “I got a nice shot in the arm for birth control. If you’d prefer to use a condom I understand. I know you always wore one religiously with me before, but accidents happen.”

  He’d never not been covered a day in his life. To have it be the first time with her, yeah, he wanted it more than anything and told her that. “I’m always protected. You’ll be the first I’m not. I suppose that is fitting since we share a child.”

  “I suppose so,” she said, straddling his hips, lining up and sinking down on top of him.

  “Jesus,” he said, never expecting it to feel this good. This strong. This...everything.

  It was like a wet fist was surrounding him and squeezing, then releasing. She moved up then came back down and he thought his eyes might have crossed.

  How could not having that tiny barrier make this much of a difference?

  His hands went to her breasts, squeezing them together, his mouth going for a nipple. Why not when they were right in front of him like that and he knew how much she loved it.

  He sucked. He flicked at it with his tongue. He even bit down and all it did was get her to move faster on his cock.

  His hands were tightening around her and she reached for them and removed them, putting his palms on the side of the tub. “You’ve tried to relax me for so long, let me do this for you.”

  “What?” he asked, his eyes losing focus.

  “Close your eyes and just feel.”

  He did what she said and it started to build even more while he sat there and she rode him.

  Water was lapping up and a little over the rim of the tub, but he didn’t have a care in the world at the moment. The whole bathroom could flood and he wasn’t moving from this spot.

  All he cared about was the hot tight pussy milking him up and down and when he felt his balls start to tighten, he knew he was going to burst. She must have sensed it and was bobbing up and down even more.

  He felt her hands down around him and realized she was touching herself to get there, then reaching around and squeezing his balls and everything he had just let go. There was no reason to be quiet this time. There was no one there but the two of them.

  And when she was done moving herself and lying limp against him, he’d said the three words he’d never said to any other woman but her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Ryder. I never really stopped.”

  34

  Eased Her Burden

  The following month Marissa found herself back in Sam’s office with Tommy and Ryder for another appointment and with any luck a release to return back to normal life.

  Not that anything they had was normal right now and she was shocked to know it was two months since she and Ryder had been together as a couple and almost four months since Tommy was in Ryder’s life.

  The driving back and forth on the weekends was getting rough, but Ryder had come to her the past three weekends, arriving on Thursday night and working from her house on Friday, picking Tommy up from school, and then they had that night and all day Saturday and Sunday morning as a family.

  He was still sleeping in the guest room and she knew he wasn’t thrilled with it.

  This weekend though, she planned on going into his room and staying there. There was no reason not to. Life wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was going well. And as much as she wanted to leave last night for Ryder’s it didn’t work out as planned so they’d left bright and early this morning, picked Ryder up, and then came here for this appointment.

  “It looks like everything is great,” Sam said. “I am officially releasing you to everyday activities.”

  Tommy jumped up and started to dance around the office, and though she wanted to tell him to stop, both Ryder and Sam were laughing. “Now that looks familiar,” Ryder said.

  She looked over. “Did you do that?”

  “No,” he said, “Wyatt was always running around dancing like that to get attention.”

  “Please,” Sam said. “You did your fair share of attention grabbing moves in the family and you know it. Between you and Wyatt it was like a competition at times.”

  “Wyatt was the prankster though. I never tortured you guys like that.”

  “Thank God,” Sam said, “or we would have beat your ass to the ground.”

  “Language,” she said, but Tommy just giggled.

  “Guess we need to be more aware with kids around. We don’t watch it so much around Sebastian,” Ryder said. “But there are more babies coming.”

  “And young kids you’ll be around in a few weeks too.” Wyatt was getting married in two weeks. She wouldn’t be back next weekend; Ryder was going to her house. Then she’d come back for Wyatt’s wedding and the three of them were leaving for a week at the Outer Banks.

  Tommy had never been on a real vacation before and hadn’t been able to be quiet about this yet.

  “Do I really need to wear a suit?” Tommy whined. “Why can’t I wear shorts to the wedding?”

  She cringed. “I need some help here, boys. This is what I’ve been dealing with for more than a week.”

  She knew a month ago that she was going to Wyatt’s wedding and life was just getting in the way and she finally realized that not only did Tommy not have anything to wear but she didn’t either. Her hope was to get both of those things done here this weekend.

  “I hate wearing suits too,” Sam said, “but there are some times in life when you need to.”

  “Ryder wears a tie once in a while. And I’ve seen him in a suit. He looks cool in it, but I don’t think he likes a tie,” Tommy said. “I heard him say he felt like he was choking in it one day.”

  She rolled her eyes but then hoped Ryder heard that. That their son was always around and listening. “Sometimes a tie feels that way if you put it on too tight,” Ryder said. “I must have one day.”

  Good comeback she wanted to say, but held it in. “So you’ll go shopping with us to get a suit?”

  “I love shopping,” Ryder said.

  Sam grinned. “You’re in good hands there. We always said Ryder should have been the girl of the house. We know he’s Mom’s favorite.”

  “Am not,” Ryder said.

  “Are too,” Sam said back. “You cook together. You exchange recipes. You even shop with her when the rest of us don’t.”

  She looked over and saw the flush on Ryder’s face and thought it was adorable. “Then you can take your son shopping,” she said. “Because it’s not something I enjoy doing.”

  “Don’t say that in front of Jade,” Ryder said. “You’ll be in the mall in five minutes and leave exhausted. I’ve seen it happen not just with Kara when she mentioned it but even Adriana. Shopping is a sport to Jade.”

  “Not me. I get what I need and get out of there.” Mainly because she didn’t have a ton of disposable income. And though she had a lot more now between the large payment Ryder made and the biweekly ones into her account, she wasn’t changing her lifestyle either. She’d done it on her own just fine, but having Ryder’s help had eased her burden.

  The burden of guilt...that she’d be carrying around for a lifetime.

  “That wasn’t so bad,” Ryder said a few hours later.

  He had hoped Marissa would have come last night, but she had a late night meeting and by the time she was out of work and could have left, they wouldn’t have arrived until after ten. She’d said it was best to just leave around seven and could easily get to Tommy’s appointment at twelve.

  The appointment went well, life should finally start moving forward, and he couldn’t be happier.

  They’d gotten lunch and found a suit for Tommy even though the kid whined about putting a tie on. In the end, Ryder said they could get him a clip-on bowtie and when Tommy started to gag, he caved on the red tie only if it matched the one Ryder wore. So he bought one as close as he could because he found it tugged at his heart more than he thought it might.

  “No,” she said. “And why didn’t you let me pay for it?”

  “Because it’s my family’s wedding and I know it’s not like he’s going to get much use out of it.”

  “Jade is getting married in October. Not that far and though Tommy is growing a lot, we should be set.”

  “Worst case we just get him another pair of pants.”

  “Or shoes,” she said. “He grows out of them fast.”

  He hadn’t thought much of those things, but it did seem like his parents were buying sneakers left and right for him and his brothers for years.

  “Doesn’t matter. It’s still for my family and not a big deal. So Tommy and I are in black suits with red ties. What are you wearing?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t figured it out.”

  “Do you need a dress too?” he asked, his hands rubbing together.

  “I think I do. I’m not sure I’ve got anything appropriate enough for Wyatt’s wedding. But I don’t think Tommy can take another minute of shopping.”

  “No,” Tommy said. “Please don’t make me.”

  She laughed. “See?”

  “How about I take Tommy to the arcade while you go look for something?”

  “Yeah, Mom. Go find a dress.” Tommy grabbed his hand and started to pull him to the other end of the mall. “I know where it is. Let’s go.”

  Ryder raised his eyebrows and laughed at her, but she grinned and went back into the department store. “Text me when you’re done.”

  Thirty minutes later they were back in the car and driving home. “I wanted to stay longer,” Tommy complained.

  “Who would have known your mother was that fast of a shopper,” Ryder said. “I’m not used to it.”

  “I am. Mom hates the mall. She orders a lot if she can,” Tommy said.

  “When I can I do. It’s not always easy to bring a kid to the mall that hates trying things on.”

  “With two of us we can get it done,” he said.

  “We’ll see. You only got a small taste of it. School shopping is the worst.”

  “Noooo,” Tommy said. “School is out. I don’t want to talk about clothes for next year.”

  “See?” she said, laughing at him.

  It was funny how his son didn’t have any problem holding back anything now. Long gone was the kid that was always friendly and well behaved. Now he was right at home and acting like a typical nine-year-old. Ryder couldn’t be happier.

  When they got back to his house, Tommy was already running for the front door before he and Marissa could get the bags out of the car. “What’s your hurry?” he asked him.

  “It’s hot out. It’s cold in the house.”

  “We can go swimming if your mom doesn’t mind. My father is working, but my mother is home with school out now too.”

  “Can we, Mom? My suit is still at Mama’s.”

  “I don’t have anything planned. Let’s get our stuff unpacked and then we can go over for a short period of time. I don’t want to intrude on Mama and Papa’s night.”

  “You won’t,” Ryder said. “They will be thrilled and probably want us to stay for dinner.”

  There was no reason to say his mother already offered the pool and dinner anytime this weekend. He figured he’d play it by ear, but it was pretty hot out today.

  “We’ll see. I don’t like to just drop in like that on people.”

  He tugged at her hair. “There is no dropping in or feeling bad about it in my family. Half the time they just walk into someone’s house without knocking.” After she put Tommy’s suit in his room, she turned and walked out with the dress in her hands and started to go toward his room. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m hanging the dress in your closet with the rest of my clothes.” His mouth dropped open. “Problem with that?”

  “Not at all,” he said, almost dancing behind her like Tommy did in Sam’s office.

  “Things seem to be going well with Ryder and Marissa,” Diane said after the three of them left.

  Grant had been thrilled they’d come and let Tommy swim, then stayed for dinner.

  “They do. I like Marissa even if she seems a little uncomfortable at times around us,” Grant said. “Not sure how to fix that.”

  “I don’t know that we can. It will take time. We had a nice chat about Tommy while we were getting dinner ready and Ryder was swimming with Tommy.”

  “What did you two talk about?” he asked. Sometimes he wondered if his wife moved too fast and did it on her own without consulting with him. This situation was still pretty delicate.

  “I can already tell by the look in your eyes that you think I’m going to mess up. But we just talked about Wyatt’s wedding in two weeks and what Tommy plans on doing this summer. She hesitated telling me and I think she was worried I was going to offer to have him come here for a period of time.”