Billy nodded, then went on, ‘Joe liked to jet-wash the float down at least once a month and it certainly needs doing today.’

  The winter sun, like a fiery orb, was just raising its head where the estuary met the sea over the craggy cliffs towards Hartmouth Head. The sky was a kaleidoscope of reds, oranges and yellows, a colourful backdrop to the dark silhouettes of seabirds soaring over the still grey sea below, looking out for their fishy breakfast. The low tide caused little waves to lap gently against the quay wall. The silence of early morning offered a peace and stillness that was unavailable later in the day.

  ‘Going to be a bright day, I reckon. I can deal with the cold, if it’s sunny,’ Billy said, his words coming out in clouds.

  ‘You sound like a proper old sea dog.’

  Billy laughed. ‘Less of the old, mate. I’ve got ten years on you, haven’t I?’

  ‘Ha, don’t rub it in. I need to get exercising again. Me and Star seem to be eating our way through life at the moment.’

  ‘Eating, you say?’ Billy grinned, making Conor smirk. ‘Kara made us some bacon rolls up, fancy one before we get going?’

  Billy pulled out the old fold-up red chairs that had been in the tug for decades and set them up on the float. As they sat clasping their coffees with gloved hands, the young ferryman cleared his throat. ‘It’s been quite a week, turns out my brother’s gay.’

  ‘No big deal there, though, is it?’

  ‘Nah I guess not, but for some reason Daz wanted me to tell you as we are all working together.’

  ‘How did your folks take it?’

  ‘Mum was fine, but Dad has taken it hard. He’s such a man’s man and he can’t get his head around the news. This is crippling Daz. It took so much courage for him to come out to them. The atmosphere has been so bad on the fruit and veg stall that he’s quit and is going to be doing more shifts on here. He can manoeuvre the tug and you can stay out on the float. Gives me a break, so I’m all for that.’

  ‘Your Da’ll come round. Your family seem tight.’

  ‘I hope so.’

  ‘And I don’t mind what I do on here. I’m just happy to be working. In fact, life is pretty good all round at the moment.’

  ‘Star’s a great girl, isn’t she?’

  ‘Yeah, she is. I’m not sure where we’re heading but I do like her a lot.’

  They ate in silence until a huge seagull swooped down to try and steal the last bit of roll out of Conor’s hand.

  ‘Jesus, they scare the life out of me, so they do.’

  Billy was amused, then remembered: ‘There’s something else I meant to say. Me and Kara are away next weekend, so you and Daz are in charge, if you don’t mind. Joe said it would do the pair of you good to do a few runs on your own.’

  ‘No problem. Going anywhere nice?’

  ‘Yeah, we decided on Prague, plenty of good beers there and Kara is so excited about seeing the Christmas markets. You’d have thought she’d want to get away from them, being stuck in one all week. Anyway, I can’t wait.’

  ‘Nice one.’

  ‘We’ve got a bloke booked into our place in the Airbnb room too. Star will go in and feed the cat, but again, just in case he’s a weirdo, keep an eye and ear out, can you? We lock our bedroom, but you never know.’

  ‘Good bit of extra cash coming in, I get it. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure my presence is felt if needs be.’

  ‘I know what I meant to ask you,’ Billy added suddenly. ‘Have you any idea how long you will be staying down here in Hartmouth?’

  ‘Well, I see no point in leaving, if that’s a good enough answer for now.’

  ‘Course it is and I’m sure Star will be delighted.’

  The big Irishman shrugged. ‘She’s a woman. Who knows what’s going through her pretty mind.’

  They both laughed. Screwing the lid on his Thermos flask, Billy stood up. ‘Right, we’d better get moving. This deck ain’t gonna clean itself.’

  Chapter 30

  Star sat at her crafting desk and linked her phone to her Bose speaker. As Enya’s music started to fill the cosy workroom to the rear of the shop, she had to make sure that she didn’t start to daydream too much. She had a very special ring to make for the equally special and soon-to-be Mrs Pearl Moon.

  When Star was little, her mother used to rock her on her lap and sing along to the mournful lyrics of Enya’s ‘May It Be’; the song had forever instilled in her a feeling of peace. The first line contained the word ‘star’, hence its relevance to both Estelle and her daughter. But whatever the reason, this and other mindfulness-inducing music was one thing she could thank her mother for introducing her to. When it got to the line about a promise living inside her, Star looked across at her handbag and tears started to flow down her cheeks. Tears for the row she had had with her mother, tears for her lost father, whoever he might be, and fear for the results of the pregnancy test that was sitting unopened inside her bag.

  Yes, she had to admit, she had a very slight tummy, and yes, looking at her usually small breasts, they too were a bit fuller and more tender. Maybe she had been kidding herself it was all that eating, or all the sex hormones flying around that might have caused her boobs to feel a bit sore, or even that she was due a period, as that used to happen sometimes too. Finally, she had to face the fact that those symptoms could mean that she was pregnant. But for today, she was going to sit in her workroom and do what she loved because once that baby-shaped cat was out of the bag, all hell would be let loose.

  Conor was great. But – there was a but. Almost like being on the verge of the best orgasm you’d ever had, but not quite getting there. Like having your favourite ever haircut – but getting home from the salon and wishing you’d had the fringe cut that tiny bit shorter. Like deciding on a Mr Whippy ice cream cone and saying no to the flake. So nearly there and yes, being with Conor was nice, but who wanted something that was just ‘nice’? Something that was not quite enough?

  Star imagined weeing on that little white stick and getting a negative result. Would she feel upset? Maybe she would for one small moment, because she had always wanted another child. Star shut her eyes and imagined the word pregnant looking back up at her. She had so much to achieve still, and would a child get in the way? And would Conor want to stay with her? What’s more, would she want to stay with him if he wasn’t The One? But then how could she possibly allow another child to grow up without a father figure? This was becoming a rather awful generational pattern. How would Skye feel? Auntie Flo too!

  Whatever happened, Star decided she would have to deal with it, and she would. It was Monday, a quiet day in the Ferry Lane shops. She could hold on to whatever ‘promise was within’ until later. She would finish Pearl’s ring and then go upstairs to the flat and just do it, do the test, get it over with and worry about the consequences after.

  Just as she was searching for her smallest pair of pliers in the wooden tray in front of her, she came across a little piece of pretty pink-flecked rhodochrosite crystal. She smiled at those love angels of hers presenting this to her right at this particular minute. She had encouraged Jack to give Kara a pair of earrings made out of this very crystal, to thank her for his stay in Hartmouth. He himself had thought it was a bit over the top, but knowing what a bad mental state Kara had been in at the time after her break-up with the horrible Jago, Star had insisted.

  Coincidences like this often happened to her and made her believe in the power of the universe even more. She reached for one of her crystal leaflets and read, Rhodochrosite can guide one in the quest for happiness, help one move forward after a period of doubt, and express love towards others without fear of rejection. She thought sadly of Jack, who had rejected her. They had without a doubt both experienced strong feelings, but it had been a one-off. A wonderful memory of sex on a summer’s day with a beautiful man. So yes, Jack ‘I’m a bloody Englishman in New York’ Murray could fuck off now. Maybe her expectations of love had been too great. Nobody was perfect. Nothing was perfect. The whole episode with the short, bearded one was a ‘could have been’, rather than a ‘would have been’. What was the note he had written for Kara too, when he gave her those earrings, something like no more ‘I wish’, but ‘I will’?

  Maybe, whatever the outcome, this was the new start she needed in her quest for happiness. This was her time now. She would and she could! No more hankering after someone who had so little regard for her. Someone who couldn’t even reply to a simple email message. There was never a good enough excuse for somebody not messaging you back. If people wanted to make time for you, however busy a life they had, they would.

  Fingering the crystal and saying aloud, ‘May it be, indeed, Enya,’ Steren Lilian Bligh reached for her handbag, turned the shop sign to Back in 15 mins and headed up the stairs to the flat – and her destiny.

  Chapter 31

  ‘So Skye, you’re all sorted, aren’t you?’ Kara rushed into Passion Flowers to make a last check on her able assistant. ‘Why oh why did I arrange to go on holiday on a market day!’ She opened the till to check there was change in there for the rare cash-paying customers. ‘I’ve kept it simple, so say no to bouquets until Tuesday unless it is very urgent, then of course you must do it, but all hotel deliveries can wait.’

  An impatient Billy was waiting outside in his van ready to drive them to the airport. He tooted to hurry her up.

  ‘Dad and Pearl are going to swing by later on and tomorrow, and if they need to jump on the stall and help, do let them.’

  ‘Kara,’ Skye said calmly. ‘You’ve written it all down for me. I’ve done many a market day. I will close Sunday, and Monday is always like a morgue, so stop worrying. Just go and enjoy yourselves, will you.’ The teenager ushered her boss towards the door. ‘Mum is next door, so I will be fine, and as you say, Joe and Pearl will help me if I need it. I’d love to run a flower stall myself one day, so this will be a perfect opportunity for me.’

  ‘Aw, well, that’s a great ambition. OK, call me if you need me, promise – but I will text you each day anyway. Bye.’

  Kara signalled to Billy that she just had to run quickly in to see Star. He held his hands up in despair. He liked to be at least an extra hour early to an airport, he had told her, so there was time for him to have a couple of beers in Departures to calm his pre-flight nerves.

  Star came through to the front of the shop as the wind chime signalled a customer.

  ‘I’ve gotta be quick as Billy’s outside,’ Kara said in a rush. ‘I just wanted to say, James Bond has been fed and watered so don’t worry about today, but if you could do once tomorrow, Sunday and Monday morning that would be good. The Airbnb guy’s name is Ralph, he looks hot on his profile photo, but try not to catch him in the shower.’ She added archly, ‘You do have a history with my previous guests.’

  ‘Guest,’ Star corrected, now having a vision of Jack Murray in her mind that she really could do without.

  ‘Anyway, he’s arriving this afternoon and leaving really early Monday morning. I will give him your number and message you his, just in case he needs to ask you something. Anything else?’ Kara asked herself.

  ‘Key code?’ Star queried.

  ‘I checked the spare key is in the box and that it’s the same 1066 code as before and um … that’s it, I think. I’ve left him Frank’s vouchers for breakfast, and tea and coffee is on the kitchen side.’ Billy tooted the horn again. ‘I’d better go. He’ll be going crazy out there.’ Kara looked more closely at her friend. ‘You seem quiet, are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, just a bit tired, that’s all.’

  ‘Can’t believe I forgot! The test – did you do it?’

  ‘Yes. It was negative, thank goodness.’

  ‘Phew, yes, complete relief, I’m sure. Sorry, been so full of it getting ready for this trip. See you Monday. I’ll text you and thank you SO much for doing this.’

  Star’s ‘Have fun’ got lost in the tinkling of the wind chime.

  Walking back through to her workroom, Star put a hand on her rounded abdomen. Damn her mother being right again! Star had never lied to her best friend before, but Kara had been in a rush and the truth was, Star wanted to keep things to herself for now. Herself and the little person growing inside of her. Team Bligh. For once she told Conor – in fact, as soon as she told anyone – life as she knew it would be so very different and she wasn’t ready for that just yet.

  Turning her mind to the job in hand, she reached for the little red jewellery box that housed the engagement ring she’d made for Pearl. She had put her heart and soul into making it perfect for dear Joe and couldn’t wait to see what his fiancée thought of it when he popped the question. She reached for a miniature brush from her toolbox and, removing it from the box, delicately began to wipe at the bespoke sparkling piece. Its white gold double band studded with diamonds displayed a single freshwater pearl and her suggestion of a delicate flower made from a pink shell finished the second band off perfectly. Once clean, Star held up the exquisite piece and admired her handiwork. ‘Shit,’ she then muttered aloud, waving her hands about excitedly as she searched for the little spiritual card she had calligraphed earlier to include with the ring. On one side a plain red heart, on the other, the words, Pearl: a person or thing of great rarity and worth. The gems of the sea are believed to offer protection to the wearer, as well as attract good luck and wealth. Moreover, pearls speak of the wearer’s purity and integrity. She popped it in the box and sighed contentedly. Job done.

  Star then brought up the calendar on her mobile phone and started counting the weeks with her fingers. Her due date would be July sometime, she reckoned. Conor had only been here a matter of weeks, so it was pretty easy to calculate the delivery date even without her having a last period date to work from. Clever little eggs she must have, ovulating in a magical way. Her body had thought Conor Brady was The One obviously, even if she wasn’t feeling it, and this surely must count for something. The love angels had sent him, and this was the reason: for her to have another, much-longed-for child.

  Star began to convince herself that all was well. Conor was single, great to look at and a hard worker; also, being a dad already, on paper he had some great credentials. And a summer baby would be nice, no freezing cold night feeds like she had had with Skye. Then: ‘Oh God,’ she said aloud. Her worst thought was that Conor would be really angry with her. But as with everything, it took two to tango and they had agreed not to use condoms. So risky, looking back. Also, Conor was a self-confessed traveller. It was all right saying you wanted to stay in a place because you liked it, but not because some local girl had trapped you by getting pregnant. Which wasn’t the case at all – but what if he thought that?

  Star made a little huffy noise and picked up her phone again. Whatever, she would make it work. She had managed with Skye and she’d been only sixteen then. She was a grown working woman now, and if she had to do this alone then she would. She could do feeds in the workroom, maybe get an assistant. Anything was possible.

  She dialled her doctor’s surgery. ‘Hello? Yes, I’d like to make an appointment with the midwife, please … That’s right, she hasn’t seen me before … Tuesday at 8 a.m. is perfect. Thank you.’

  Chapter 32

  Star had nearly finished setting up her stall and was hoping that a busy Friday market would help her take her mind away from her situation. Opposite, Charlie Dillon was tipping a pile of ready-cooked beetroot into a large bowl. His usual black beanie hat with an embossed carrot on the front was pulled well down over his ears and he was looking preoccupied.

  Star went across to select an apple for breakfast. She had got over her feelings of queasiness on waking earlier this morning.

  ‘No Daz today, then?’ she asked casually. Star was finding it really hard to understand Charlie’s reaction to his son coming out. If Skye were to tell her she was gay, Star knew she would embrace it – and her – with open arms.

  ‘No, he’s down on the quay what with our Billy being away.’

  ‘Ah, right. I’ve missed his smiley face in the market lately.’

  Pat Dillon was putting a handwritten Organic Parsnips sign at the front of a pile of the vegetables. She looked pained as her husband said darkly, ‘Yeah, well, he’s made his choice.’

  ‘We all make choices, Charlie, and they’re not always ones that other people agree with. You see, now Skye is a teenager, I’ve begun to realise that a bit of wiggle room is required, especially where so much is at stake.’ She picked a juicy Orange Pippin off the front of the stall, and placing a 50p coin on the green baize cloth in front of her, walked back to her own stall, head held high. Was it any of her business? No, it wasn’t. But Darren was a friend and via Kara she had heard just how much he was hurting from his father’s response or lack of it.

  Back in the workroom, a couple of text messages beeped in. One was from Conor saying, Hello stranger, fancy some Friday night fun? But all of a sudden the fun felt like it had to stop. Sex with him was joyous and spontaneous, but the creation of a new human being could, ironically, spell the end of both of those things. She took her gloves off to answer.

  I promised Auntie Flo fish and chips as it’s Friday

  Spoilsport! How about after?

  I need to be up uber early for Saturday market day too

  The Irishman went quiet. The other message was from Estelle. Star had made no contact with her mother since her outburst, had ignored her messages and calls knowing that if she answered when she was still feeling so angry, she might end up never seeing Estelle again. And that was something she didn’t want to happen.

  Star, it’s me. I’m sorry x

  Star reread the text. Estelle Bligh had never apologised to her in her whole life. Overwhelmed with both the response and the hormones now juggling around inside of her, Star started to cry. Rather than having a go at Charlie, maybe she should be less of a hypocrite and deal with her own problems first. Who was she to judge the man? They were not her feelings, nor her battle. She looked at her mum’s text again. Yes, sorry sometimes was the hardest word to say, but with the fragile state she was in at the moment, Star knew that she needed to sort herself out and be feeling calm before facing the dramas to come. She and her mother had said some dreadful things to each other, but Estelle had hurt her badly and Star wasn’t quite ready to forgive.