With all the dramas going on, she was pleased that things had been so straightforward with the Airbnb booking. She actually hadn’t heard one peep out of Ralph from San Francisco. She had knocked gently before going in to feed James Bond the past two mornings, but the guest had either been out already or was asleep in his room.

  She tapped out the code, 1066, took the key from the safe on the wall and opened the main front door to the Ferry View Apartment block – then was nearly knocked over as James Bond raced out past her, taking her breath away. Once she’d recovered, she trotted up the stairs and politely, as if she was a housekeeper in a hotel, knocked on the apartment door with the back of her knuckle. Pushing it open, believing the guest to have departed, she was surprised to notice a small wheelie case standing by the door. Calling out, ‘Hello!’ she went into the kitchen and was opening the fridge door to pop in the pint of milk she had bought for the wanderers’ return when a familiar-sounding and uplifted, ‘Hello, you,’ came back at her.

  That was the second shock. With her heart beating madly and a huge rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins, Steren Bligh walked into the lounge to see a bearded figure standing in front of the open doors of the balcony, waiting for her.

  Aside from the small scar on the top of his right cheek, he was just how she had remembered him. With her eyes and mouth open as wide as the Hartmouth estuary twinkling in the winter sunshine below, she let out a gasp.

  ‘Jack? Oh my God – it’s you, Jack! What the hell are you doing here?’

  Chapter 38

  Darren Dillon expertly manoeuvred the Happy Hart tug on to the Crowsbridge quay and came out to help Conor usher the cars and one van off.

  ‘You’re a bit quiet this morning, mate,’ Darren noted as he took his gloves off, lit a cigarette and leaned on the side railing of the float.

  ‘Yeah, I’ve got something on my mind, true enough.’ Conor sighed. ‘Big shit, actually.’

  ‘Wanna talk about it?’

  ‘I’m not sure.’

  ‘Remember that I’ve kept a pretty big secret to myself for a good few years, so I do know how to keep my mouth shut.’

  They both laughed.

  ‘Your Bill can’t hear about this just yet,’ Conor warned him. ‘Just so you know.’

  ‘I can respect that, mate.’

  Conor looked out to the estuary mouth and took a deep breath. ‘Star’s pregnant.’

  ‘Oh man.’

  ‘Tell me. I really like the girl, she’s great as you know, but I wasn’t quite ready for this little bombshell.’

  ‘I can imagine.’

  ‘I really like it down here too, but again, it’s a big commitment to start a new life in a place I barely know.’

  ‘You have Frank and Monique and me and Bill already as family and friends, so it’s not as if you are on your own.’

  ‘My son is in Ireland,’ Conor said heavily.

  ‘And? How often do you see him? Cornwall is not a million miles from anywhere really.’

  ‘I know, I know. I think it’s the “where do I go next with Star” thing that’s bothering me the most. I don’t want to make another mistake. I’ve only known the girl five minutes.’

  ‘Well, you’ve made one big mistake, so what’s another?’ Darren laughed as he took a large drag of his cigarette and blew out a massive ring of smoke into the freezing air.

  ‘Thanks a lot.’ Conor jokingly swiped at his arm. ‘What’s important is herself at the moment. I mean, she’s got to go through the pregnancy and have the little mite.’

  ‘Give it the seventy-two-hour rule.’

  ‘That’s a new one on me. What do you mean?’

  ‘It’s something my old man taught me. Problems that seem impossible, you wait around three days – the seventy-two hours – before doing anything, and then they either don’t seem so bad, or something happens to take the edge off the drama.’

  Conor said soberly, ‘That baby is not going away.’

  ‘Yes, but you may see things a little more clearly.’

  ‘Let’s hope your dad takes a bit of his own medicine there, eh?’ Conor put his big hand on Darren’s shoulder. ‘Thanks, mate.’

  ‘Glad to be of help.’ Darren gestured at the cars already lining up on the quay. ‘Right, let’s get back to business – and mum’s the word on this, I promise.’

  ‘Ha ha – very funny. Ever thought of being a comedian?’ Conor shook his head as he opened the gate and let the waiting customers stream on board the floating deck.

  Chapter 39

  In winter, Penrigan Pier was only open in daylight hours. Aside from one mobile coffee and snack van at the entrance, all the other food and retail ports were closed up against the elements. Pensioners, reliving their youth and glad of the lack of crowds, could be seen wrapped up warm taking a leisurely stroll along the boardwalk or sitting with a blanket on their knees on a bench in one of the alcoves that ran down the middle of the pier, many with a shopping bag containing a flask of tea and a packet of sandwiches. At weekends, teenagers would hang out in the alcoves smoking, drinking, shouting and play-fighting. The historic Penrigan Pier had most certainly given to the area a legacy of first-time lovers and lasting loves.

  ‘I feel most honoured you’ve shut up shop for me.’ Jack took a sip of hot chocolate, and some foam ended up stuck to his moustache. He wiped it off, then licked his finger.

  ‘Hardly. I need to be back by eleven – one of the joys of running my own business.’

  ‘D’you know, Star, I haven’t been on a pier for years,’ Jack said. ‘Shame it’s not all open or I’d have whipped your arse at the Dolphin Derby at the end. Sad to admit, I’ll even go for a bit of Bingo in places like this.’

  ‘Me too,’ she confided, ‘but I would never confess that to Skye. I just thought it would be easier if we came here – and I do love a bench.’

  ‘You’re so funny.’

  ‘No, Jack, I think everyone should have a special place to think. I have two. This is one of them. Nature gives me such an energy boost, clears my mind. I can get my thoughts straight when I’m away from people and my phone.’

  ‘Where’s the other one then?’

  ‘Up on Hartmouth Head car park near my mum’s place. And when I’m down here in town, I come to the pier as it’s near my auntie’s flat. I’ve been coming here all my life, in fact. Just sitting and staring and thinking.’ She looked at him. ‘Have you ever checked out inscriptions on benches?’

  ‘Er, no, can’t say I have.’

  ‘Well, I know all the ones here off by heart.’

  Jack’s own heart skipped a beat at this beautiful woman’s quirky ways. She really was something else.

  ‘I mean, read this one.’ Star stroked her finger along the engraved plaque attached to the bench they were sitting on. ‘This is why I chose to sit here.’ She began to read aloud. ‘“To my Molly. There’s never an end to the sea, so why for you and me? Your Ronnie.” So sweet. I don’t even want to know if either or both of them has died. I prefer to imagine that they are infinitely happy.’

  The unobscured view of the dark grey sea blew Jack’s mind. The sound of the waves licking the edge of the pier struts was hypnotic, the shelter from the wind in the little alcove creating a sense of warmth and safety.

  ‘I’m not sure if life allows that luxury.’ Jack smiled at Star’s endearing ways, her innocence and her wisdom. ‘I would probably more likely remember this graffiti on here.’

  ‘If we look close enough you might see “Star loves Danny.”’

  ‘Did you? Love Danny?’

  Star laughed again. ‘Doesn’t everyone think they are in love at fifteen?’ She then said shyly, ‘Your beard looks good shorter.’

  ‘Thanks. I trimmed it especially.’ Then Jack cringed at this revelation.

  To fill the awkward silence, they started to talk at the same time.

  ‘You go first.’ Star was conscious that her hands were shaking slightly. Just sitting next to him in the twenty-minute car journey to the pier had engulfed her with the exact same feeling she had experienced when she’d first set eyes on him in the market earlier that year. Memories had come flooding back; the moment she heard his voice; the passionate lovemaking in her flat; the soulful connection that she had never experienced with anyone else, ever.

  It felt like she was dreaming to have him back here with her, especially when she had expected never to see him again. To see him had been such a surprise, but of the nicest kind. And now she was sitting this close to him, the cloud of connection between them was like a soft golden glow that illuminated them both. Maybe this was love.

  ‘Why did you lie and tell Kara you were somebody else?’ she asked.

  ‘I er … I didn’t want my girlfriend to know that I was coming here. She has a habit of checking my messages.’

  ‘Ah, I see. And I thought you were leaving at 5 a.m.’

  ‘Yes, I was but I was tired and it makes no difference to me getting a later flight as I’m not due back at work until Wednesday.’

  ‘Why didn’t you let me know you were here? I don’t get it.’ Star felt hurt.

  Jack took another sip from his now not so hot chocolate. ‘I’m working on a new screenplay and I just wanted the silence,’ he lied eventually. ‘I love the peace of this place. The whole estuary thing, it’s just gorgeous and so far removed from New York and my life there. I guess it’s running away without running away, if you get what I mean.’

  ‘None of us can run away forever, Jack.’ Star had found it so hard to put into words what was missing from her relationship with Conor, but this was it. This natural chemistry. The kind of magnetism that drew two individuals together when they met for the first time. A bit like the everlasting bond that her auntie had described between mother and child – this is what she felt for Jack.

  As she looked deeply into his long-lashed hazel eyes, he quickly stood up, asking, ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘I can wait.’

  ‘I need something, I’ll run up to the food van at the entrance.’

  On his return, Jack placed a bag of food down next to him then put his hand on top of Star’s, causing a tingle to shoot up her arm and then down to a direct hit on her heart.

  ‘I’m really sorry for being such a coward and not responding to your messages.’

  She pulled her hand away. ‘Well, yeah. It did upset me, I’m not going to lie.’ Star recalled her sleepless nights and feeling of despair at being rejected by the first man in ages who had quite simply rocked her soul.

  ‘And when I saw Kara in New York,’ he went on, ‘I was so pleased that at least I could pass on some words to you.’

  ‘What happened to you – your scar? And Kara told me that your arm was in a sling.’

  ‘It was an unfortunate accident. Riley, my girlfriend, found one of your messages and went crazy.’

  ‘And hit you?’ Star’s voice rose.

  ‘No, she pushed me and I fell backwards on to our glass coffee table.’

  ‘That’s all right then, sounds like a great relationship.’ A memory of her grandmother experiencing almost the same fate, elevated the bitterness in her voice.

  ‘I was the one who was unfaithful.’

  Star was stung. ‘Like I say, a great relationship.’

  ‘I wanted to contact you so badly, but I promised her that we would make a go of it and that I would change my email address and phone numbers. Anything for a quiet life, really,’ Jack admitted. ‘You see, I’ve been with her a while, and life isn’t black and white, we all know that. And when I met you, the time I spent with you … well, it was amazing. I’ve never laughed so much. You’re beautiful, Star Bligh. You really are. It was the best one-day stand I think I’ve ever had.’

  Star felt the bile rising within her. ‘One-day stand,’ she repeated, taking in a big gulp of air at the acceptance of that fact.

  ‘I’ve never done anything like that before, but …’

  ‘But “The heart has its reasons which reason knows not” and all that.’ Star finished off his sentence with a fake laugh causing Jack to feel that his heart might actually burst out of his chest. Butterflies on acid were now flying round his gut.

  ‘Even if the timing is shit,’ he blurted out, glad of the diversion of the seagull landing noisily next to their feet and beginning to pace around as if questioning why the food bag had not yet been opened.

  ‘So, you and Riley are going strong then,’ Star said flatly.

  ‘Well, let’s put it like this, we’re going … but those love angels you were on about, well, they’ve called in a handsome fella for you now, haven’t they? And with no complications, I bet.’

  ‘How did you—?’

  ‘I saw you on the quay.’

  ‘Ah, right. Yes, Conor’s great.’ Star automatically put her hand to her bump. ‘And yes, it’s been plain sailing.’

  ‘I guessed he’s Frank’s son by the look of him.’

  ‘His nephew.’

  ‘Ah, I thought there was a similarity. So, it’s going well for you, is it?’

  ‘Really well,’ Star enthused, thinking that she might actually vomit. And then without warning her subconscious took over and the words, ‘In fact, so well that I’m pregnant,’ suddenly burst out of the ‘things I really didn’t want to say today box’ and into the ether.

  ‘Wow. Congratulations,’ Jack managed after a moment. ‘You didn’t waste any time. Is that a public toilet I see down there?’ He rushed off, shouting back, ‘Give me a minute.’

  With both hands on the small white hand basin he looked up at the water-splattered mirror and tried with all his might to push the feelings of complete despair back down inside. His face was red, his breathing shallow. His heart was breaking. Why had he thought that making a go of it with Riley was the right thing to do? Their relationship was poisonous. And ironically, even now pregnant with another man’s child, Star Bligh represented everything to him that was pure, everything he had ever wanted in a woman. But he had lost her, and he deserved to have lost her.

  Splashing his face with cold water, he composed himself and came back to the bench where Star was peeking in the paper bag to see what food he had ordered.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ he said. ‘Too much coffee earlier.’

  Star handed him the bag. ‘Well, eat up. I should be getting back to the market soon.’

  ‘I don’t fancy it now.’ Jack waved his hand dismissively. ‘I must get on the road, too. Can’t be late getting home to Riley. Changed man and all that.’ By gritting his teeth it somehow helped to keep the emotion out of his voice.

  ‘No, you must get back to her.’ Star felt like she was burning up inside.

  On arriving at Kara and Billy’s flat, Star was relieved to see that the ferry was mid-estuary and heading towards Crowsbridge. The last thing she needed was that sort of run-in. Not now.

  Jack squeezed her leg as he got out of the car. ‘It’s been so good to see you, and good luck with Conor … and the baby.’

  ‘You too, Jack. Take care.’

  He turned and tapped on the window. Holding in her tears, Star put the window down. Realising it could be their last goodbye, Jack hung on to it as if his life depended on it.

  ‘I meant to say I heard another Blaise Pascal quote in a film the other day.’ The words ‘go away’ were screaming in Star’s head. ‘“If you do not love too much, you do not love enough.”’ Jack’s voice quivered. ‘Great, isn’t it?’ He abruptly turned and tore himself away.

  ‘Goodbye, Jack.’ Star’s voice ended in a sob as she called after him then sped off from Ferry View Apartments as quickly as her little Smart car would take her.

  Yes, the timing had been shit, as Jack had said. Time may fly and time may drag, but sometimes time is just a complete and utter bitch.

  Chapter 40

  ‘Dobrý den!’ Kara pushed open the door to her friend’s flat above STAR Crystals & Jewellery and made her way inside. ‘Why have you closed up so early today?’

  ‘Dobray what?’ Star said dully.

  ‘It means hello in Czech. Put the kettle on, Star, I’ve got so much to tell you. We’ve had the best time! You must go with Conor. The stalls are amazing, and so are the pretty lights and the food and just everything. And bless Skye, I’ve just popped in to see her and she’s coped fine, so all is well in my world.’ Kara then checked out Star’s face, swollen from crying. ‘Shit mate, there’s me completely full of it and you look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Go and sit down, I’ll make us a cuppa or do you want something stronger?’

  ‘Green tea is fine.’ Star sat with her knees curled under her on the comfy purple sofa.

  ‘So, what’s up?’ Kara joined her.

  ‘I saw Jack.’

  ‘You what?’ Kara’s eyes were wide.

  ‘Yes, there was no Ralph from San Francisco. Jack had used his mate’s profile and it was him all along.’

  ‘Oh my God, Star, what did he want?’

  ‘He said he was working on his screenplay and needed the peace.’

  ‘Complete bollocks. Why come all the way to Hartmouth to do that? He could have gone anywhere else. He wanted to see you, obviously.’

  ‘Oh Kar, I don’t know what to do. There’s something else.’ Star bit her lip.

  Kara moved to her friend’s side and put her hand gently on her arm. ‘Is it your mum? About your dad?’

  ‘No.’ Star started to cry. ‘I am pregnant. I was when you asked me the other day but I just kind of felt by not telling anyone, it wasn’t quite real. I didn’t have to face it.’