‘Oh, darling. Have you told Conor?’

  ‘Yes, and Flo – and God only knows why, but I just told bloody Jack.’ Star sobbed again.

  Kara went to the bathroom and got her friend a wodge of toilet issue. ‘Here, blow your nose and let’s break this down, shall we? Do you want to go through with it?’

  Star nodded. ‘Yes, of course I do. I have no excuse not to have a baby.’

  ‘But you do have the choice.’

  ‘I know I do. The thing is, I don’t love Conor, but I think I love Jack.’ Star’s expression showed her torment as she began to ramble on. ‘And how can I spend my life with someone I don’t love when I love someone else? And it’s not as if I don’t like Conor – I do, very much – and don’t say I might grow to love him because nobody can predict that.’

  ‘Hold on a second, this is considering that Conor is going to stay around.’

  ‘He said he needs time to think things through.’

  ‘That’s fair enough.’

  ‘Is it? He went home on his own last night and I just wanted him to come around and hug me.’

  ‘Did you tell him that?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Men are not mind readers, Star, they need to be told and not just when it’s a matter of affairs of the heart. Never forget that the majority of them see the world through testosterone-tinted glasses. My Billy would happily not hoover for a year, if I didn’t prompt him.’ Kara took a swig from her tea. ‘How far gone are you?’

  ‘I don’t know exactly. I’ve got the doctor’s tomorrow.’

  Kara looked at her friend’s tummy. ‘There’s a little bump already.’

  ‘I know! I reckon it’s going to be a monster child. There’s part of me that is so excited.’

  ‘There’s a lot of me that’s so excited.’ Kara grinned. ‘I’d better hurry up on our mission. They can be in the same year at school then, just like we were.’

  Star perked up. ‘Aw, that would be amazing. They can play and grow up together just as we did too.’

  ‘It’s good to see that smile back. Would you like me to come with you tomorrow?’

  ‘Thanks, but no. I’d rather go on my own.’

  ‘OK. As for Jack, is he still with Riley?’

  ‘Very much so, by the sound of it.’

  ‘Well, leave him to that dysfunctional relationship. He obviously has no balls – whereas Conor appears to have huge ones.’

  Star managed a laugh. ‘I could talk for hours but I’m so knackered and stressed. I’m going to have a deep bubble bath and a lie down, I think.’

  ‘Good idea. Before I go, did Estelle give you any more info about your dad’s death?’

  ‘None. She’s getting worse, Kara. I think him dying has badly affected her. Her drinking is off the scale. She only fell and broke her bloody toe yesterday. She also told Conor that I was pregnant before I had had a chance to break it to him in my own way. It was mortifying.’ Star closed her eyes for a second. ‘I was so angry, I said … I said … that she was dead to me.’ She swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

  ‘She probably won’t even remember that,’ Kara comforted her. ‘Don’t worry. Go and have a nice bath and relax, and let me know how you get on at the doctor’s. I’m always just a phone call away, you know that.’

  With the click of the front door, a deep-in-thought Star started running a bath. When it was ready, she climbed in, lay back and let the warm water soothe and relax her. And as she began to put things into perspective, a feeling of peace came over her. For amidst all the uncertainty surrounding her, the one thing that she was sure of was that, just like Skye, this baby would be dearly and completely loved.

  And at the end of the day, that was all that really mattered.

  Chapter 41

  ‘Riley? Riley, I’m home!’

  Relieved at there being no answer, Jack left his case in the hallway and walked on through to the lounge, where he noticed a bar of his favourite chocolate on the coffee table and a little hand-scribbled note saying, Back at eight, enjoy this now, enjoy me later. Missed you x

  Without even taking his coat or shoes off, he let out a big, tired sigh, sat down and was just laying his head back on the sofa when a text came in from his secretary. Hi Jack. Don’t forget you’ve got a 7.30 breakfast meeting with Saxon’s tomorrow, then lunch with McAdams Fuller, so wear a tie. He sent back a quick thumbs-up emoji and shut his eyes in the hope he would be able to have a nap before Riley got home and started jumping all over him.

  The plane journey from London had been long and given him too much time to think. It had taken everything for him to go over and see Star, to tell her how he really felt – and because of his own stupidity, it had all been for nothing. Angry at himself and angry that she was pregnant so soon after meeting someone, he had blocked her number. There was no point in any of it now. Just seeing her beautiful face again as they sat on the pier had stirred up another whole load of feelings. Feeling the warmth of her personality and the obvious chemistry that flowed between them had been off the scale. It had made him realise that he was ready to up and leave his New York life and Riley; but none of that mattered now. If she just had a boyfriend, he could have fought for her, but a baby in the mix too, well that was a whole different ball game.

  He looked around him. There was no denying they lived in luxury here, but home sweet home didn’t feel like home any more. Seeing his parents had made him realise how much he missed them. Just being in England, where everything seemed smaller, more real, less contrived, was where he belonged. But sadly, the woman who he now realised he wanted to be with, was pregnant with another man’s child and seemed very happy.

  Why hadn’t he just acted on his gut and told Star how he felt when he left her the first time? Why did he think the life he had here was better? The money, the kudos of living in the Dakota Building, the fantasy of a pretty young actress on his arm and him walking the red carpet when his screenplay hit big. None of that mattered any more. All that mattered plainly and simply was a girl called Steren Lilian Bligh who lived above a jewellery store in Ferry Lane Market in the picturesque estuary town of Hartmouth.

  Chapter 42

  ‘Are you sure?’ Star was stunned, almost speechless, as she sat opposite the white-haired midwife in the treatment room at the Hartmouth doctor’s surgery.

  ‘I’ve delivered enough babies in my time to know you are around halfway through, missy. By my reckoning, your due date if you go the full forty weeks will be March the seventeenth.’

  ‘That’s my birthday too!’ Star exclaimed, with a flashback to her mother’s drunk lips relaying that even St Patrick couldn’t help her. Of course, 17 March was St Patrick’s Day as well as her own birthday! Estelle Bligh really was a white witch.

  ‘I thought I was just getting f-fat,’ she stuttered. ‘March, that’s so soon.’

  Star thought back to her tryst in June and now everything made sense. With Conor and her only getting together in October, there was no way it could be his. The startling and undeniable fact that Steren Lilian Bligh had to face was that she was very much pregnant with Jack Murray’s baby.

  Feeling suddenly faint, she made a funny little squeaking noise.

  ‘Are you OK, dear?’ The midwife reached for Star’s wrist and took her pulse.

  Remembering her yogic breathing exercises from a few years back, Star managed to centre herself as the matter-of-fact woman in front of her continued.

  ‘Granted, you are a tiny thing, but your bump is still on the small side, so just to be safe I’m sending you straight to Penrigan General for a scan. You would have had one around now anyway. I have seen ladies like this before though, and then all of a sudden they balloon.’

  ‘So just to double-check, are you really and I mean really sure? Skye, that’s my daughter, was only five pounds when she was born.’

  ‘Steren, I am one hundred per cent certain. Have you felt Baby kicking at all?’

  ‘No.’ A sudden panic swept over her.

  ‘Don’t worry, sometimes they don’t make their presence felt until a bit later.’

  ‘I’ve read about things like this happening, about women not knowing they were pregnant.’ Star gulped. ‘I could have gone full term and given birth under my market stall.’

  ‘Situations like these are rare but not unheard-of, you’re right. Especially as your periods are so awry. But here we have living proof that little miracles can happen. This baby was meant to come to you.’

  ‘Yes, I do believe he was.’ Star smiled shakily.

  ‘He?’ The midwife laughed. ‘Now that is a confident prediction.’

  Chapter 43

  ‘Snow is forecast for later,’ Billy Dillon greeted Conor at the ferry quay. ‘A rarity down here with our climate.’

  ‘Well, it is December,’ the big fella replied. ‘And that may make for a perfect scenario later.’

  ‘What do ya mean?’

  ‘I chatted it through with my dad and Frank, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the right thing to do is to marry Star. No telling your missus yet, mind, or it won’t be a surprise.’

  ‘Wow. That’s a big leap, man.’

  ‘I want to do right by her, and her bump is already growing really fast. It sure is a big strapping Brady in that tummy of hers. D’you know, Billy boy, I’m really excited now.’

  ‘Have you got a ring?’

  ‘A temporary one. Because as she is the Queen of Jewellery herself, the darlin’ girl, I want her to choose something she loves.’

  ‘Man to man, if you weren’t having this baby, would you want to marry her?’

  Cars started to queue up ready to embark on the float. ‘I’d better open the gate,’ was all Conor said as a few stray snowflakes began to whirl slowly and sporadically around them.

  ‘She’s a special woman,’ was all Billy could muster.

  ‘You don’t need to tell me that. And is it really all about hearts fluttering and knees trembling? Can’t it just be about friendship and mutual respect?’

  Billy looked at him and said honestly, ‘You’re a better man than me, Conor Brady.’

  Conor sighed heavily and made his way towards the line of vehicles.

  Chapter 44

  Star looked at herself in the mirror as she put her mascara on. Her face was definitely getting fuller. It suited her. But despite her now accepting her predicament, she still hadn’t found the courage to tell Conor that the baby wasn’t his.

  The only person she had confided in was Kara, who had solemnly promised that she would not tell a single soul until her friend had told the handsome Irishman herself. But every time Star had braced herself to say something to him, she just couldn’t – because she knew that as soon as the truth was out, he would be gone, and she would be alone again. And although she wasn’t in love with him, she really cared for him. Really enjoyed her time with him. He had been so careful with her and so loving towards her bump. Even making sure the foods he bought were suitable for pregnancy and that she was in bed early to get enough sleep, so she wasn’t tired for work. She owed it to him to tell him, she knew, and as soon as possible, but it was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do in her life.

  Here, inside her, was Jack Murray’s baby. The baby of a man with whom she had spent a matter of a mere few hours. The baby of a man who had run back to his girlfriend in New York yet again to rekindle his worthless relationship. The first man she had actually felt that she was in love with, but not only was he unobtainable, he also lived thousands of miles away.

  Lightning had struck twice. She had had sex with two attached men, Skye’s father being the first, Jack the second, and had fallen pregnant both times. Star knew she had created her own karma and now she would have to pull her big girl’s pants up, take the consequences and bring up yet another child on her own. She did the calculations and worked out that in another eighteen years she would be fifty-one, still young enough to live her life again after that. So yes, she would just have to suck it up and get on with it.

  She had gone over and over the quandary in her mind of whether or not to tell Jack that he was the father of her child, and had more or less decided not to. She feared the revelation would be traumatic, and the inevitable rejection of her too much to bear. What’s more, if Riley had pushed Jack so viciously merely by suspecting that she and Jack had had sex together, God knows what might happen if she learned that he’d impregnated an English Rose.

  So much deceit was flying around. It was breaking her heart, and it wasn’t good for the baby.

  She was conscious that she hadn’t seen her mum for what felt like an age either. Estelle had betrayed her so greatly that Star wasn’t ready to make peace, but was also torn by the knowledge that her mother was not a well woman. The dreadful words she had said – that her mother was dead to her – played constantly over her mind. Alcoholism: an illness that ravaged the body and mind, and which couldn’t be cured until the sufferer accepted that they had a problem. Such a cruel illness, and so difficult for those with it and the people around them who loved them. She put her head in her hands and sighed deeply just as Skye came bounding into the room like an excited child.

  ‘It’s properly snowing out there now, Mum. Come and have a look! Mum? Shit, Mum, what’s the matter?’

  Star sat up on her dressing table stool. ‘Skye, we need to talk. Sit on the bed, darling.’

  ‘Mum? You’re scaring me.’

  ‘No, it’s all OK. I should have done this ages ago. Firstly, I want to tell you all about your father …’

  Chapter 45

  ‘Your chariot awaits.’ Conor greeted Star at her flat door and held out his arm.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked. ‘I was just on my way over to you.’

  ‘I couldn’t let a pregnant lady negotiate these outside stairs in this snow, now could I?’ Big fat, perfectly formed snowflakes were silently falling; one caught on her eyelash and, noticing it under the outside light, Conor kissed it away. ‘Have you got your trainers on and is that coat warm enough? Gloves?’

  ‘I thought we were just going to yours for dinner?’

  ‘Come on, take my arm.’

  The big Irishman led her safely down the steps and then on through Ferry Lane Market where their footsteps crunched in the icy white carpet that was getting deeper in front of their eyes. The sparkling Christmas lights looked even more magical against their wintry backdrop and the shop windows were a feast for the eyes with their colourful Christmas goodies displayed for all to see.

  ‘Fresh snow, I love it.’ Conor squeezed her hand.

  ‘Me too,’ Star agreed. ‘We rarely get snow like this down here. What a treat. And that crunchy sound is just so cool.’

  They turned the corner to see Frank’s Café and the decking area outside completely lit up in pretty coloured fairy lights.

  ‘Wow, Frank’s really gone to town this Christmas. It looks magical against the snow. Quite romantic, in fact.’ On getting closer she could make out an arch of holly, ivy and mistletoe interspersed with white flashing lights in the shape of stars. Her heart sank at the realisation of what might be about to happen. She started to shiver, saying, ‘God, it’s freezing out here. Can’t we head back now that I’ve seen the lights?’

  ‘Wasn’t it Aristotle who said, “To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold”?’ Conor quoted.

  ‘Didn’t he also say that “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness”?’

  ‘I shall take that as a compliment.’ Conor laughed and carried on leading her towards the cafe.

  The promenade was silent apart from a couple of kids having a snowball fight in the pub car park opposite. The sea lay perfectly still as if accepting its new freezing layer willingly. Seagulls squawked their disapproval at this seasonal interference and the various yachts and boats creaked their usual sleepy lullaby.

  Without a word, Conor led Star with two hands to stand underneath the arch, then immediately got down on one knee. He looked up into her now watering eyes. Oh, how she had wanted a moment like this, a thought-out proposal in a romantic water’s-edge setting with a handsome man. And to top it off, with the picturesque backdrop of snow too. All the ingredients were here for the perfect beginning to a perfect romance – except the only thing that hadn’t shown up was her heart.

  ‘Star Lilian Bligh,’ Conor began. ‘It may have only been a matter of weeks since we first met, but every moment of them has made me smile. You are a beautiful soul and now you are growing our little soul inside of you, it’s only right that I ask you to—’

  BANG!

  All of a sudden, a huge explosion reverberated around the night sky. It was coming from up on Hartmouth Head.

  ‘What the …?’

  BANG!

  Conor grabbed Star close to him as an eruption of orange flames and black smoke could be seen from where they were standing.

  Just then, Billy pulled up alongside them in his van and stuck his head out of the open window. ‘It’s the mobile home park,’ he said. ‘My mate Larry who lives up there just called me.’ He reached out and took Star’s hand. ‘I was just about to ring you: it’s your mum’s place, Star. Get in, both of you.’

  As Billy screeched into the Hartmouth Head static home park, Estelle Bligh’s van was a ball of fire. Sirens could be heard cutting through the freezing night air. Residents were doing their best with fire extinguishers to try and ease the blaze.

  ‘No!’ Star screamed. ‘No!’ as she scrabbled out of Billy’s van and towards the green-painted static home that had been in her family for four generations. ‘Mum! Where are you? Mum!’

  ‘Star! Don’t even think about it.’ Conor ran after her, followed by Billy. A fire engine could now be seen making its way as fast as it was able through the snow to the roaring inferno; an ambulance screaming in its slipstream.