“I’ll lock the door!” I rolled my eyes.

  “We made copies of your emergency key. They have booths that make keys in minutes at stores now! You aren’t dating us, so you can’t get rid of us that easily!” Davis laughed as he hopped up.

  Elle

  35 Weeks Pregnant - Your baby is as big as a spaghetti squash

  “You can’t stay in this damn den until you give birth!” Renee shouted.

  I burrowed deeper under the covers in hopes she’d just go away.

  “Nope! It’s time to get your ass up!” she snatched back my blankets.

  Eyes squeezed tight, I let out a groan.

  “You’re not finna have my baby born being all sad! Get your ass up! You need to eat, and Trish made breakfast.”

  I blinked. “What time is it?”

  “9 in the morning. You also have a doctor’s appointment today, so get up!” Renee grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the couch.

  Her strength surprised me. Head stooped, I dragged myself into the dining room where a plate of scrambled eggs with extra cheese, sausage patties, grits, and toast waited for me. When I was younger, this was my favorite meal. Mom made it for me, and when she passed, Trisha was forced to learn to make it the same way. I loved to mix everything together into one mega breakfast. My aunts knew what they were doing. I narrowed my eyes at Trish, who stared at something very intensely on her phone.

  “Thank you,” I muttered as I sat down.

  She brushed me off with a hand wave. Renee pulled up a seat beside her and we ate quietly. After my eggs, grits, and sausage were stirred all together, I took a bite. My eyes fluttered closed. I could keep the smile off my face. This was the definition of a comfort meal, and I desperately needed it.

  “…How are you holding up?” Trisha looked at me from over the edge of her coffee mug.

  I let out a shaky breath, “…Not great.”

  “You would think the man died.” Renee rolled her eyes.

  My aunts weren’t the best with emotions. Meaning I came by it naturally.

  “No, I’m just broken hearted.”

  “Yes, but since everyone is still alive, that means this chapter isn’t done.” She shot back.

  “Yes, it is. I mean, if he wants to, and I hope he will, Logan can be a part of the baby’s life. But there’s no future for us.”

  “Why the hell not?! You are not raising that baby in our den!” Trish sat down her mug with an emphatic thud.

  “I can get my own place.”

  “When, where, how, and with what money?” Renee asked.

  “I’ve got some money saved!”

  “Not enough to buy a pot to piss in! I don’t want you burning through all the money your mom left you. Babies are expensive!” Trish laughed.

  “That boy bought you a whole ass house! Put it in your name and you’re just gonna walk away?!” Renee shook her head as if I was being ridiculous.

  “He hurt me. He broke my trust.” I stared at my half-eaten piece of toast.

  “You are your mother’s daughter.” Trish huffed.

  “What’s that mean?!”

  “You’re a stubborn ass just like your mom and just like me. You need to feel that hurt and get over it! That man clearly loves you, for whatever reason. Men are stupid Elle. And God knows how many concussions Logan has had. Everyone is just thankful his brain isn’t mush and he can put together a full sentence. He fucked up but I don’t think he did it to directly hurt you. He made a bad decision. You need to forgive him. You clearly still love him.” Trish glared at me.

  She was always able to read me like a book. But I’m not going to admit she’s right.

  I shrugged my shoulders and shoved more toast into my mouth.

  Elle

  37 Weeks Pregnant - Your baby is as big as a canary melon.

  I had no idea what a fucking canary melon was. My now weekly appointments and the pregnancy app kept me updated on the descent to the end of my pregnancy. Which was good because I was uncomfortable as hell and ready to be done. Although I had tons of bluster for Trisha and Renee, I was still secluding myself in the den, unsure what to do with myself when the baby came. Staying with my aunts had the benefit of extra hands to help, but I didn’t feel relaxed. My chest felt tight as if my body was in a constant struggle to take a breath. I was very aware I wasn’t in my own space and adding a newborn on top of it all would make it worse.

  Texts from Amber helped break up the monotony of my sadness. In-between the crying sessions and reading online hate it was nice to hear from her. She risked her relationship with Joe to stick up for me. She was an amazing friend.

  Amber: Logan looks like shit.

  Elle: Really?

  Amber: Yeah. He did cut a promo about you.

  Bile rose in my throat. Not this again.

  Elle: What did he say?

  Amber: Short version: He may have a baby on the way but hes still the fighting and defending MWA champion. Then Blue ran into the ring and attacked him with a chair.

  I snorted.

  Elle: LOL

  Amber: They’re fighting next weekend for the title and that will be the end of the Elle storyline.

  Elle: Thanks for talking to Joe

  Amber: Of course! He may be my fiancé but you’re my bestie bitch! I love uuuuu

  38 Weeks Pregnant - Your baby is as big as a mini watermelon.

  Reality was more like 30 watermelons attached to my stomach pulling me towards the ground. I was in a constant fight against gravity, and I was losing. I bit my lip, silencing my grunts and cusswords as I dragged my ass off the couch. Once one epically slow fight was done, I crept towards the kitchen. My body screamed for a cold glass of lemonade.

  “I hate to say it, but I think we should cancel the trip. I just don’t know how I feel about leaving Elle here by herself.” Trisha sighed.

  I stopped in the hall at the mention of me. Every year my aunts did a road trip to Memphis to see the sights and to visit Renee’s family. I tagged along when I was younger, but now a days the two made the trip something of a couple’s getaway. I hadn’t realized it was that time already. Time was a flat circle, and I was too engrossed in my own bullshit.

  “I know. I was just looking forward to seeing my family,” Renee’s sadness was heavy in her voice.

  “I’m sorry baby.”

  I barged into the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. Under the cool glow of the dim fridge light, I grabbed the jug of lemonade, popped the lid, and took several chugs. With a satisfied groan I leaned against the fridge door and turned to my aunts who stared at me from the living room table.

  “Don’t stay behind because of me. I’ve got a handle on this,” I motioned to my protruding belly with the jug of lemonade. “Besides the majority of first time Moms don’t go into labor until nearly 41 weeks.”

  Logan would be proud of the knowledge I’ve picked up from the pregnancy app!

  Trisha shook her head, “No. I’m very uncomfortable leaving you. You’re all sad. I don’t want you to… You know.”

  I rolled my eyes, “Yes Trish I’m sad but I’m not doing to do anything to myself. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. I love you guys and I’m happy you two are so protective, but I could really use the space to think.”

  “What have you been doing this whole time?” Renee raised an eyebrow.

  “Wallowing in puddles of self-pity and tears mostly.” I shrugged.

  “Why should we expect you to do anything different?” Trisha asked.

  “Because I think I’m ready to stop wallowing.” I took another swallow of lemonade. “Like it or not I’m doing this alone, and I need to get it together because she’s coming.”

  Trisha tossed her hands into the air and shouted, “Hallelujah!”

  I had given my aunts the green light and they pounced on it. From the verge of cancelling to packed and ready to go in two days. I laughed at the quickness. We loved each other but I’d suspected we had grown out of practice living with each other. We needed a break. Trisha and Renee made me promise to check in and to let them know if I needed anything. I rolled my eyes, feeling very much felt like a teenager again. The plan was for them to be gone for 6 days, then once they got back, we’d all prepare for baby girls’ arrival.

  They aren’t giving birth!

  Once they left, I headed to their master bath and enjoyed a long soak. Then I walked around in a towel enjoying cool air on all my bits. When I finally put on clothes, I ordered a pizza and watched true crime shows. It was startling how with a tiny bit of self-care I started to feel a bit more like myself.

  The next morning, I grabbed my laptop and pulled up listings for studio apartments in my area. I couldn’t afford much but I had seen a blog where a single Mom made life with a baby work in a studio. Decorating such a small space with Renee’s expertise would be fun. After a lunch of cold pizza, I made a couple of calls and had a few leads on places. Besides a bed for myself and stuff for the baby I didn’t need much to start.

  “Your Mommy is making moves little lady. It’s going to be hard, but we’ve got each other,” I rubbed my stomach.

  My brow furrowed and realization struck me.

  I can’t remember the last time I felt baby girl move…

  I vigorously rubbed my belly with both hands. How could I not notice such an important thing? I swallowed and tried to think about my day but couldn’t remember baby girl moving. I grabbed my laptop and typed in my panic-stricken concern. The internet advice suggested having a sugary drink then laying on the left side for ten minutes. I chugged half a gallon of lemonade and returned my trembling body to the couch. I positioned myself onto my left side and pulled my tank top over my bump. Gently I ran my hand over my belly.

  “Come on baby girl. You sleeping in there? You’re scaring Mommy. I need you to wake up and give me a kick.”

  My hand trembled as my leisurely, caressing circles picked up speed. Everything seemed so normal. My body was still heavy. My skin was still warm. Nothing out of the ordinary outside of the absence of baby movement. The idea of baby girl came into my life with on such chaotic winds only to leave so quietly hallowed my heart. In with a bang and out with a whimper.

  Tears bubbled up and blurred my vision. Hot wetness streamed down my face. My hand paused over my stretch marks. They were tiger stripes. A little reminder of what I had put my body though for baby girl. She wasn’t expected, or even considered, but I wanted her. I needed her. I loved her. I couldn’t lose her.

  “Baby girl! Please! I need you to move!” I pleaded through my sobs.

  Nothing. I hiccupped as I struggled up to sit. I needed to call the doctor. I grabbed my phone off the side table, but the damn thing was dead. I was so sick of notifications from shitheads online that I let it die.

  “Fuck!” I shouted.

  Tears still pouring down my face I pushed myself off the couch, grabbed my purse and waddled out the door. I froze and slumped down in the driver’s seat. Driving was something I had done countless times since I was 16, but the mechanics of it had suddenly vanished from my head. A burning scream clawed at my throat.

  Why can’t I do this?!

  I slammed my fists against the steering wheel.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  I needed to get it together. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Once the long breath left my lungs, I opened my eyes, put the key into the ignition, and started the car. I wanted to speed, to put the pedal to the metal and zoom right to the hospital, but the fact I was barely holding it made that impossible. 20 mph was my max as I drove through town. Cars angrily swerved around me as dread weighed on me. I was stupid for thinking I could do this alone. I was weak and insignificant. I wished Trisha or Renee were here, so I didn’t have to be alone. As if the universe was sending me a sign, my attention widened to my surroundings for the first time. My mind had been working on autopilot, but what I needed him.

  Logan.

  I turned hard down the side street towards the bar. Thankfully, it was still early enough that there was street parking, and I crammed my car crookedly into a spot. I pushed open the door to Save Point. The bar was quiet and mostly empty except for a few tables enjoying drinks. I lumbered past the tables and games and that’s when I saw him. Leaned against the bar with a towel tossed over his shoulder.

  “… Logan…” I squeaked.

  He turned around and his eyes widened at the disheveled sight of me.

  “Elle?!”

  I collapsed against him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. A flood of heat consumed me as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

  “… I-I-I haven’t felt baby girl move today… What if something happened to her?”

  Logan reached down and swept me up into his arms. On autopilot, my arms circled his shoulders. I pressed my face into the warm hardness of his chest. This was a heartbreaking homecoming. Like the hero from the pages of a comic, Logan carefully carried me down the hall. The chaotic sounds from the video games faded as we entered the office. Logan gently lay me on the couch. Without any prompting, he dropped onto his knees beside me and rested his head on my stomach. Eyes closed, he caressed small circles over my abdomen. I’d desperately wanted his familiar warmth and the safety of his touch. But not under these circumstances. A hollowness carved into my chest.

  “…Baby girl? Hello in there. It’s me, your dad. I know I said to take it easy on your mom, but not this easy. Come on and give us a move. We love you and just want to know you’re okay.”

  Logan continued to rub tender circles across my belly.

  “…Come on, baby girl. Come on,” he urged.

  A tiny thump under my ribcage jolted the both of us. A hot, pulsing shock of hope injected straight into our hearts. I gasped and Logan shot upright.

  Oh my God!

  “D-d-did you feel that?”

  Sobs bubbled in my throat, but tears wouldn’t fall. I was too fucking happy. Logan enthusiastically nodded before hugging my stomach. I touched my stomach, silently thanking the heavens for dad’s connection to their daughters. Logan’s hand brushed against mine. The electricity was still there. Familiar it crackled around us. Pulled by the moment, I wrapped my fingers around Logan’s. He glanced at me, allowing for me to get a good look at his face for the first time. Stubble peppered his cheekbones and dark circles shadowed his eyes. Even smiling, he looked like shit. Amber was right.

  “Is everything alright?” Davis cautiously asked from the hall.

  “Hopefully?” Logan sat back on his knees, still holding my hand.

  I hugged my belly with my free hand.

  “I think we should still go to the hospital,” Logan asked.

  I nodded.

  “Davis, can you drive us?” Logan asked.

  “You bet your ass I will! Let’s go!” Davis punched the air.

  I was too overwhelmed and exhausted to even attempt dissecting Davis’ change of heart towards me. Leaving and Nick in charge, Davis sped to the hospital. In the backseat, I rested my head against Logan’s shoulder. His hand caressed the length of my back, grounding me and keeping in tethered to reality.

  On the maternity floor we left Davis to pace the floor like a worried Dad in an old cartoon as a pair of nurses wheeled me back and connected me to a ton of monitors. We weren’t even in a room, more like a landing bay for pregnant women, where they prepared to either send us home or send us to labor and delivery. A loud scrapping sound filled my ears as Logan pulled a chair next to my bed. Cheeks pink, he reached out and clasped my hand in both of his. His rough, calloused thumb tickled as it smoothed over my palm.

  “Everything’s going to be okay,” he breathed, as the nurses sorted all the monitors and cables.

  “Try to stay still, Ms. Hawthorne. The sensor on your stomach will pick up any contractions and the baby’s heartbeat.” Nurse one explained.

  I held my breath.

  Please let there be a heartbeat. Please.

  Nurse two clicked on the bedside monitor. It beeped loudly before a WHOOSH WHOOSH sound started. Fresh tears streamed down my face in a flood of utter relief.

  “Is everything okay?” Logan asked.

  “I think so. Baby girl must have been playing possum.” Nurse two chuckled. “It happens sometimes.”

  The tingling sting of embarrassment overwhelmed me. I had worked myself and Logan into such a state. My overthinking brain once again got the best of me. I swallowed and let my smile of relief disrupt my humiliation.

  Nurse one narrowed her eyes at the monitor for a moment before turning towards us, “I think we’ll just monitor you for half an hour and after that if everything is looking good, we’ll send you home.”

  Logan nodded. Eyes closed, I sank back against the thin and slippery hospital pillow too worn out to respond. Once we were alone, Logan gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

  “How are you doing?”

  “… Been better,” I sniffled.

  “Me too… But if you wanted to see me Elle, there were other ways you could get my attention.”

  I peeked up at him and his coy little smile. Although his eyes were circled with bags, the deep blue of his eyes sparkled. My heart back flipped which I preferred to all the panic and terror I’d been through this afternoon.

  “What would you have suggested?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Sky writing. A message in the clouds confessing your true feelings for me.”

  “Very practical.” I giggled.

  “Totally. I would have said something like, My dearest Elle. I love you and miss you. Life without you is unbearable. I need you in my life. I know I fucked up, but I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you.” He brought my hand to his lips for a chaste kiss.

  “That’s a bit wordy. I hope this skywriter isn’t charging by the word.”