“I have a new friend,” I venture since my secret is well and truly safe with her. “His name is Ben, and he’s really…he…”

  I realize it’s not so easy to describe him.

  “He’s not overly nice or anything, but I think he’s a good man with a good heart.” I chew my bottom lip, thinking it over. “He’s quiet and reserved at times. It seems like there’s so much more going on behind the scenes, things he hasn’t shared with me. I told him he seems lonely and it’s true, but when he looks at me…” I shake my head. “I guess I just know how he feels, and I think he can recognize that. Maybe he and I are kindred spirits.”

  Her gaze meets mine, and I swear I see my real Nan buried deep down in her blue eyes. The moment is fleeting though; she’s already looking away, back to the TV.

  “You wouldn’t know him, but he’s pretty famous too. He plays in the NBA. I know that sort of thing wouldn’t impress you. It didn’t really impress me either at first, but now I find myself just a little bit curious. I wish I could watch him play before he leaves. Oh, did I mention that part? He’s leaving in twelve days to go play basketball in the Olympics.” I laugh. “Yes. The Olympics. You and I didn’t watch much sports growing up except for when the Summer Games came on. Remember how much we loved watching the gymnasts in Rio a few years back?”

  There’s a knock on her door and I know it’s time for me to go. They’ll want to help Nan with her supper then get her ready for bed, and I’ll just be in the way.

  I stand to gather my things, about to head out when I get intercepted by Lori, one of the women who works in administration. She looks tired and I think, not for the first time, what a tough job it would be to work in a place like this.

  “Raelynn, do you have a second? I’d like to discuss a couple things with you.”

  My stomach drops. I’ve been worried about this day for a long time. Either I’m too overdue on bills here or her disease is progressing faster than they thought it would. Lori never pulls me aside with good news. I eye the hallway behind her, contemplating for a brief second whether or not I could just bolt.

  “—whether you want to focus on occupational therapy two times a week or—”

  I frown and refocus my attention on her, not sure I fully understand what she was saying.

  “Occupational therapy?”

  “Yes. We’ve not been able to offer it to your grandmother before now. As you know, specialists like that are expensive in a private facility like ours, but the lump sum that the foundation donated will afford her any specialist she might need. I’ve been in touch with her care team and they’ve suggested occupational therapy as well as speech therapy. We also have someone we could bring in from Austin who’s done music therapy with our patients before, and we’ve seen wonderful results. As you know, we can’t reverse the prognosis of your grandmother’s disease, but with the right combination of medications and therapies, we can greatly—”

  “Lori, what in the world are you talking about? What lump sum? What foundation?”

  She frowns, looking just about as confused as I am.

  I’m glad it’s a long drive from Nan’s facility to where the basketball team is training. It gives me enough time to work through a whole gambit of emotions, starting with rage and leveling off at simmering annoyance by the time I park and step out of my car. I have no idea where to find Ben. I don’t know which cabin is his and I don’t know if he’d even be there right now. There’re people milling around everywhere though, security guards and staff. I had to check in just like last time, and for a split second I panicked that I wouldn’t be allowed to stay since I don’t have a cleaning job here or anything, but apparently, I’m on some list of approved guests. Ben’s doing, I’m sure. That innocuous action is another tally mark against him in my book. Don’t ask me why.

  I walk up to a security guard standing near the parking area and try to give him a convincing smile. “Sir, do you know if the players are still practicing?”

  He shakes his head. “They’re eating dinner,” he says, nodding toward the main house behind him. “You can go on in. Most of the wives and girlfriends eat in there too.”

  Over my dead body.

  I can’t imagine what it would feel like to walk in there, all eyes on me.

  “Okay if I just sit out here for a bit instead?”

  He shrugs and I get the sense he couldn’t care less about what I do, so I go back to the car, climb up onto the trunk, resting my feet on the back fender, and wait.

  The sun creeps down, starting to hide behind the dense forest around the property. I garner a few curious stares from passersby, but they all leave me alone. Eventually, guys start filtering out of the main house. They must have wrapped up practice well before dinner because they all look showered and most are wearing comfy lounge clothes. I spot Trey and Leanna and wave. She beams and hurries over, tugging Trey behind her.

  “I didn’t know you were coming over today! I would have made you come inside for dinner.” She frowns. “Wait—why are you sitting out here anyway? You look like you’ve been waiting a while.”

  I pray the security guard can’t hear me as I lie. “Only a few minutes. I wanted to have a word with Ben.”

  “Want me to go in and grab him?” Trey asks.

  I should tell him yes, but I don’t want to inconvenience him. “It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll be out here eventually.”

  Leanna nods. “Right, well, we could wait with you if you want?”

  Trey shakes his head. “No need. Here he comes now.”

  I follow Trey’s gaze to find Ben walking out of the house alongside an older black man with a shaved head and a neatly trimmed goatee.

  “That’s our coach,” Trey supplies.

  Ben walks with the man for a few more yards while they talk and then he branches off, turning to head toward the cabins. He looks down at the ground for a second and then glances up and Trey waves, catching his attention.

  He spots us and my body goes rigid.

  Was it really only last night that we were in the back seat of his car?

  It seems impossible.

  I can barely hold his gaze, barely look at him as I remember what it felt like to lie naked underneath him. I feel like my whole body is buzzing with nervous energy. His brown eyes crinkle at the sides as he takes me in from afar, a playful smile tugging at the edge of his lips. He’s happy to see me. Happy I showed up here after last night.

  “We’ll let you two talk,” Trey says, pushing Leanna along even though she protests.

  “I’ll come see you at the diner this week!” she calls, but I don’t even respond. “Sorry I couldn’t come in for pancakes this morning. I overslept.”

  I’m too caught up in Ben’s approach to worry about what she’s saying. Too scared all of a sudden of the discussion we’re about to get into. I could forget everything, fall into those brown eyes, and never come up for air.

  He stops only a few feet from me, crosses an arm over his chest, and takes me in as I sit propped on the back of Nan’s old car. His gaze lingers on my bare legs for a beat too long and then his gaze flits up to mine.

  “Birdie.”

  I study him, trying to work up the nerve to speak.

  “You know I still don’t have your number?” he says, grabbing his cell phone from his back pocket.

  “That’s fine. We’ll keep it that way.”

  His brow arches but his expression doesn’t lose the playful edge as he slips his phone back where it was and steps closer to me.

  “No numbers?”

  I brace myself as he comes even closer, his jean-clad thighs brushing my knees.

  I keep my arms locked tightly across my chest lest they get any ideas. With him this close, it’d be so easy to circle them around his neck and lean in for a kiss.

  That’s not why I’m here though.

  I straighten my spine.

  “No numbers.”

  “Interesting. Why?”

  “Well, two reasons, really. Right now, I’m pissed. But even if I wasn’t, I still don’t think it’s a good idea that we do all that.”

  “All that.”

  “Yes.” I wave my hand. “Y’know, the whole song and dance where we pretend you aren’t leaving soon.”

  For the first time, his smile slips. His eyes narrow and I swear, he almost looks annoyed with me.

  “So you’re just going to decide that for the both of us.”

  I uncross my arms and prop my hands behind me on the car, cool and unaffected—at least on the outside. “Sure am.”

  He hums, and I can tell he’s not quite done with the subject even as he moves on.

  “Right. Now go ahead and tell me why you’re pissed.”

  My annoyance from earlier creeps right back in. I hate that it feels like he’s the one conducting this conversation, always in control.

  “How much do I owe you, Ben?”

  My question catches him off guard, and at first, he plays dumb.

  “For dinner last night?”

  “Sure, that on top of all the money you ‘donated’ to my nan with that phony foundation.”

  He cocks his brow. “The foundation is real.”

  “Great. So have them take the money back.”

  “Doesn’t work like that, Birdie.”

  I lean forward. “You had no right to give her money like that.”

  “You would have done the same thing if you were in my shoes.”

  I look away because yeah, he’s right. If I could help someone in my position and I had the means, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

  Still, I don’t like it. I wish he had consulted me about it even though I understand why he didn’t. I would have flat-out refused. I hate the position I’m in. I know this is a good thing for Nan. A wonderful thing, in fact. She’ll get the best care available thanks to Ben, but I feel bad about taking a handout, and I want to know just how much he gave us.

  “How much, Ben?”

  He sighs in frustration. “I honestly don’t know. My financial manager was in contact with your grandmother’s nursing home. They suggested an amount that would cover her end-of-life care, and he facilitated the payment.”

  I’m quiet as I stare out at the forest, trying to cool my temper. I can feel him studying me and I wonder what he must think, what he could possibly be doing standing here with a girl like me, getting tangled up in my life.

  “I promise it was nothing much. Really.”

  My eyes start to sting as tears gather on my lashes. I blink quickly, trying to wash them away.

  “It was a really kind thing you did,” I manage, still not looking his way.

  If I do, there’s no telling how many tears will fall.

  “I didn’t look at it that way. It just seemed like an injustice to me. You shouldn’t be in this position. You should have never had to quit school and move back here, working two jobs and living in that trailer to help take care of your nan. You should never have been left like this all on your own.”

  I look back at him and smile, and it encompasses every ounce of injustice and sadness I’ve felt over the last few months. “Haven’t you heard? Life’s not fair, especially for people like me.”

  He looks crushed, and I realize I wasn’t too good at keeping my tears at bay. They roll down my cheeks unbidden before I look back down at the ground, wiping them away furiously.

  He reaches up and drops his hand on my shoulder, real slow and gentle, like he’s worried I’ll spook. His hand curves around my shoulder as he tugs me close and envelops me in both arms. I smell him everywhere. It’s like the world only exists with him in it. My eyes close and my head falls into the crook of his neck. The ball of anxiety in my stomach unravels for the first time in a long while.

  Then he teases, “You really won’t give me your number?”

  I almost smile at the fact that we’re already back to that subject. I knew he wouldn’t let it go.

  “I told you I don’t want to do that.”

  “What? Talk?”

  “No. Just…let’s keep things casual. If I see you, I see you.”

  He quiet after that, hugging me in silence. Then he steps back, and something shifts when we meet each other’s eyes. It’s the strangest thing to be around someone you haven’t known that long but who feels like your most intimate friend. A person who’s felt you on the inside, seen you on the inside, and yet there are so many details missing: birthdays, middle names, favorite foods. Getting to know him more is a dangerous game, though. He’s the very definition of too good to be true. I know he’s leaving, and even still, I’m getting swept up in the idea of us being together. It’s unhealthy and sad. A surefire way to land me a broken heart.

  I make my apologies, slide off the car, and head for home before I do something stupid like follow him back to his cabin and give in to him a second night in a row.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Raelynn

  It’s early morning, predawn, and I’m sitting at the table in my trailer, sipping coffee. When I can, I try to make a batch with my cheap French press before I head into the diner. It’s much nicer to sit and enjoy my morning cup while I read than when I’m running around like a crazy person at work. It’s dark outside and earlier than I used to ever dare dream of waking up. My teenage self would call me crazy if she knew I would one day willingly wake up earlier than I absolutely had to so I could get things done before work.

  Usually, I’d have a textbook or journal spread out before me. Occasionally, I’ll read through some old notes from my classes to brush up on the material. Today, however, I’m contemplating my path forward. Ben’s donation changes a lot of things, but not everything. I can’t go back to California right now. I can’t leave Nan. I could quit one of my jobs, but I’d rather keep working both and save up as much as I can so that when the time comes for me to leave, I’m prepared to do it. I do think I’ll cut back one of my days with the cleaning company though so I can have another free afternoon with Nan. I’m going to coordinate her first session with the occupational therapist today and ensure I’ll be able to be there with her.

  I finish my coffee and change into my dress for the diner, smoothing out a few wrinkles before tossing my hair into a ponytail and heading out. When I pull into the parking lot at Dale’s, I spot a familiar black SUV parked right by the front door. I park beside it and get out, laughing under my breath when I catch Ben asleep in the front seat. For a fleeting moment, I take him in with his head propped up by his hand and his sharp features in sweet repose. He’s so unbelievably attractive sometimes it just hits me square in the gut.

  How annoying that he gets to go through life looking like that.

  I tap the window with my knuckle and he jolts awake. I laugh as he wipes sleep from his eyes and opens his door.

  “Did you sleep here all night?” I ask, genuinely worried he might have.

  He’s wearing lounge pants and a t-shirt sculpted across his broad shoulders. His hair is a rumpled, sexy mess.

  He scrubs a hand down his face, clearly still tired. “No. Since I can’t just call you, I woke up early and drove out to see you. Wanted to get here before you started work.”

  He shifts in his seat to get out and I step back, but my car’s behind me and it blocks me from backing up even more. His size makes it so I feel caged in as he stands up and looks down on me.

  “Morning,” he says with an easygoing smile as he leans in, his gaze flitting back and forth between my eyes.

  “Technically it’s not morning yet. The sun’s not up,” I point out.

  His smile widens and he bends down the rest of the way, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek.

  “Come inside. I’ll make you breakfast.”

  I’m the first person in most days, which means the lights are off and the doors are locked. I make fast work of both, stepping in before Ben and flicking on the light switch so we’re bathed in the diner’s familiar warm glow. He yawns and stretches his hands over his head, revealing a tantalizing sliver of his lower abs. I shift my gaze away and keep on walking, heading toward the counter so I can stow my purse and get the coffee going. I work while Ben walks around the place, taking chairs off tables and helping me with my duties.

  “You don’t have to do all that,” I tell him.

  He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

  “You ever have a job like this?” I ask him as we go about our separate tasks.

  “When I was twelve, I lied and said I was sixteen so I could bus tables at a restaurant near my house. I only worked there a couple months, but it was nice to have some spending money.”

  “Yeah, when I was that age, I worked for a lady who ran a dog kennel. I came in on the weekends and fed the dogs and gave them walks. It was a good job for a young kid.”

  “Have you worked ever since?”

  I nod, and he hums like he doesn’t like my answer.

  “Most people do, Ben. Can’t all be fancy basketball players like you.”

  He shoots me a teasing look and I give him one right back.

  “Finish up with those chairs and I’ll get you some coffee. Cook won’t be in for a little while, but I’ll make you something to eat.”

  “I liked what you made me that one time.”

  Why that tiny compliment makes me blush, I’ll never know.

  I’m fast back in the kitchen, careful not to dirty the place up before Cook gets in. He’s meticulous with his stuff and likes it all organized a certain way; he’ll get onto me if I mess up his system. I make some hash browns and eggs and fruit with a side of sausage patties. I set the plate down in front of Ben then reach out to steal one of the strawberries.

  “You eaten yet?” he asks, eyeing me as he unrolls his silverware.