“So tell me how I can help,” I say hurriedly, wanting to be part of fixing all this. I can’t help but feel partially responsible. “I’ll use a driver if you’d like. I’ll hole up like a bookworm in my office at Caltech if that would make things easier.” I try on a weak smile, hoping to lighten his mood. “I’m good at doing that anyway.”

  “I’m going to call my lawyer and have him review Caltech campus trespassing policy. For now, after you arrive home, I’d like Nikko to stay nearby until we have a better grip on the situation. You two can exchange numbers, and if you’re willing, it would be much easier if you let him know your plans—where you want to go and when—so he can better keep you safe.”

  I’m starting to get overwhelmed again all of a sudden.

  I have to let Nikko know wherever I plan to go? Always?

  What if I just want to go for a walk? Can I even do that anymore?

  My throat is tightening, and now it’s my turn to be soothed as Ben tugs me against him and winds his hand up around my neck, behind my hair, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t let this ruin the last few days.”

  I keep quiet and he turns his attention to his phone, presumably so he can contact his lawyer. The rest of our ride together is spent working out logistics.

  At the private airport, Ben’s driver and Nikko both get out of the car. Ben and I have a quick moment of privacy and Ben takes full advantage, turning toward me and cupping my jaw gently. I reach up to hold his wrist in place and suddenly, all the chaos surrounding us quiets. It feels incredibly simple when it’s just us, like this.

  “I still can’t believe you’re back in my life,” he says, watching his thumb as it brushes back and forth along my lip. “I’m worried to leave you.”

  I frown. “Nothing will happen while you’re gone. I’ll do exactly what you asked of me.”

  “It’s not so much that…”

  Realization suddenly dawns on me and I smile, tilting my head into his hand so he can feel the weight of my words. “I won’t disappear on you again. You have my phone number this time, and you know right where to find me.”

  He doesn’t smile, and I sense then just how much the last year and a half affected him. It’s hard to imagine he was as tormented as I was, but I see it now.

  At a loss for how to comfort him, I lean forward and kiss him with slow tenderness. Ben’s hand weaves into my hair as his tongue slides into my mouth. My stomach quivers as desire blazes through me. I long for more. Closer. Deeper. His hands on me everywhere. Knuckles rap lightly on the window behind Ben and we break apart, blushing like school kids.

  “Duty calls,” he says with a lopsided smile as he leans back, slowly untangling his hand from my hair.

  I nod, and he turns to get out. Just before he closes the door behind him, he leans back in and steals one more kiss. “I’ll text you when I land.”

  The ride to Caltech is quiet without Ben. The driver meets my eyes in the rearview mirror and smiles kindly. I lean forward a little.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name before.”

  “Hermann,” he says with a reverent dip of his head.

  “Hermann,” I repeat with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  After our introduction, we lapse back into silence. Truthfully, I’m slightly uncomfortable with this entire setup. I’ve never had a driver before. I’m not used to being waited on. I’m the one who’s always done the waiting, and now I have to adjust to the idea of sitting quietly in the back seat of a sleek SUV as these two men escort me around Los Angeles.

  When we hit bumper-to-bumper traffic and slow down to a standstill, I grimace and fidget in my seat, wishing I could just get out and walk the rest of the way.

  “I’m sorry y’all are having to take me all the way out to Pasadena.”

  I will the cars in front of us to magically disappear off the road. You’d think the highway would be clear on a Sunday morning, but this is Los Angeles, the traffic capital of the country.

  “It’s our job,” Nikko assures me. “We’re happy to do it.”

  I nod and look back to Hermann to find him studying me in the rearview mirror. “You prefer the quiet?”

  I laugh awkwardly. “Not really.”

  “I could put some music on?”

  “Yes. Whatever you’d like. I don’t have a preference.”

  He nods and flips on the radio to an easy-listening station that seems to play all the hits from the 90s. Nikko bobs his head along with the song, and I force myself to unclasp my hands in my lap and relax. Hopefully Nikko was being honest in saying he’s happy to help. I’m sure there are worse people he could be tasked with following around, and I’ve already made the decision to make his life as easy as possible. In fact, once we arrive at the Caltech campus and Nikko’s confirmed I’m safe to head into the house I share with the other grad students, I gather my things and decide to head straight to the Cahill Center, promising Nikko I’ll stay there the rest of the day.

  “You’re welcome to explore. I promise I won’t go anywhere. In fact, over on South Lake Avenue there’s a little place I love to go when I have money to splurge. It’s called Corner Bakery and it has the best croissants you’ll get outside of Paris, or so I imagine. I’ve never been. Anyway, it’s not a far walk from where I’ll be.”

  He smiles down at me with a touch of pity, as if he wants to pat me on the head and call me cute.

  “I don’t think you understand my job with Mr. Castillo.”

  My shoulders sag. “Apparently not. Will you have to stay right by the building the whole time I’m in there?”

  He squares his shoulders and nods. “Until you’re ready to go home or someone comes to replace me. This situation is new, and we’d rather be overly cautious.”

  “God, I’m sorry. Whatever Ben pays you, I’ll ask him to double it.”

  He barks out a laugh.

  “Don’t worry about it. I do just fine,” he adds with a wink.

  Since there’s (thankfully) no press waiting for me back at my house, Nikko doesn’t have an issue walking with me to the Cahill Center. Hermann heads back to Ben’s house, but not before he gives me his number and tells me to call any time, day or night, if I need a ride.

  The short walk is remarkably normal with Nikko by my side. I try to get to know him a little better, and he’s not shy about gloating about his wife and kids.

  “My two boys are both on club teams for baseball. My older one has quite the arm on him.”

  I love how much he stands out among the students we pass. As one of the most prestigious math and science research institutes in the country, Caltech isn’t teeming with buff dudes in custom black suits. Shocker, I know.

  Lanky boys in glasses are a dime a dozen, though, and they look up at Nikko as they pass him by as if he’s a member of an alien species they want to study.

  Since Nikko’s never been on this campus, I give him a little tour as we go along, pointing out my favorite buildings, all of which blend with the traditional Spanish mission architecture of Southern California. That is, until we reach the Cahill Center with its futuristic burnt umber panels and angular facade.

  It’s modern from start to finish, and there’s not a single detail the architects didn’t consider. For example, I’m brimming over with excitement to tell Nikko that the address number for the building is 1216, which, in angstroms, is the wavelength of ultraviolet light emitted by hydrogen atoms. Unsurprisingly, he isn’t as tickled about this as I was when I first learned that tidbit. I also tell him the view from the lobby up to the skylight on the third floor is supposed to mimic the experience of peering up through a telescope, which is neat considering it’s the astronomy and astrophysics building. Again, I get crickets.

  I laugh and put poor Nikko out of his misery.

  “I’ll be in there,” I say, pointing to the door. “You know how to reach me if you need anything?”

  He nods and sends me on my way. The second I step inside and am wrapped in that familiar scent associated with academic buildings (cleaning products, mostly), I feel at ease. This is my happy place, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be after the hectic weekend I’ve had.

  I head straight to my shared office and close the door behind me, turning to assess the wreckage that exists when four people work in such a confined space. Just like with our room at the house, Kayla treats her desk here like it’s a garbage receptacle. It gives me anxiety just looking at it. How does she find anything in all that mess?

  At least it looks as if Julia and Ryan tidied up their areas before they left for spring break, so there’s that. I push all their chairs out of the way and relish the fact that I can swivel wherever I damn well please until they’re back at the end of the week.

  I unload my book bag and my laptop, set up shop, and start to chip away at all the tasks I want to get done today.

  Much later, my phone buzzes, and I blink as I turn away from my computer, rubbing my tired eyes. I was reading about Caltech’s PhD program on an online astronomy forum. The plan is for me to apply later this year so I can begin immediately upon finishing my master’s degree. Professor Olmsted has made it clear I’ll be admitted to the program should I choose to apply and said she would be happy to serve as my thesis adviser. It’s just hard to believe I’m so close to that goal. Little Raelynn Birdie from Pine Hill, Texas…ha. That’s Dr. Raelynn Birdie to you, bucko.

  My phone buzzes again and I look down to read the text I received a minute ago. I feel a jolt of excitement once I see it’s from Ben. I read it while I wear a dopey smile, glad no one can see me.

  BEN: Nikko told me you haven’t left your office all day. Have you eaten?

  * * *

  RAELYNN: I went to the vending machine earlier. Nothing beats a slightly stale Nature Valley bar.

  * * *

  BEN: Birdie…

  I laugh.

  RAELYNN: I’m a lowly grad student! We’re perpetually starving! That’s the law.

  * * *

  BEN: Not you. I’ll have Nikko pick you up something to eat. What sounds good?

  * * *

  RAELYNN: I’m fine. Promise. I can just eat when I get home.

  * * *

  BEN: Throw me a bone, please. I’m across the country and I left you in the middle of a mess. The least I can do is treat you to dinner from afar.

  I sigh and think for a minute. If I could eat anything…

  RAELYNN: Italian. Any kind of pasta! And maybe some bread too? I can just text Nikko myself?

  * * *

  BEN: I’ll let him know. You’ll go home and get some rest after you eat, won’t you?

  * * *

  RAELYNN: No promises. I usually share my tiny office with three other people and for once, it’s all mine. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.

  My phone buzzes in my hand with an incoming call from Ben, and for some insane reason, my heart rate leaps.

  I answer it with a tentative, “Hello?”

  “Do I need to fly back to California to ensure you get some rest? It’s late here in New York. I should already be asleep, but I’m worried about you.”

  “You shouldn’t be. I do this sort of thing all the time. Why do you think my posture sucks so badly? I’m perpetually hunched over my computer.”

  “I thought you said you were ahead on your work.”

  “I am. But there’s always something more I can be doing.”

  “You’re on spring break, aren’t you?”

  “Yes…”

  “I get home on Thursday and I have the day off Friday, so you’ll stay at my place.”

  I smile and lean back in my chair. “I’m not sure there was a question in there. See, it should have sounded something like ‘Birdie, will you please sleep at my house on Thursday night because I can’t stand the thought of being without you?’”

  “Thursday, Birdie.”

  I blush. “Thursday.”

  I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve never attempted to watch an NBA game on TV. I don’t even own a TV. Back at my house the next day, I set up my laptop on my bed and watch Ben’s game against the Knicks on ESPN.com, rooting for a miniature Ben as he bounces across my screen. It’s a tough game compared to the other two I’ve watched. Come halftime, Los Angeles is down by six and I’m picking at my nails incessantly, worried about what will happen if Ben loses.

  I shouldn’t have worried about it. LA dominates the second half, and they come out on top. Before I close my laptop after the final buzzer, I snap a selfie of my setup and text it to Ben.

  RAELYNN: Watched you play tonight.

  The next day, he texts me when I’m in the research lab.

  BEN: I’m flying to Oklahoma City tonight with the team. We have tomorrow off. Want to see Oklahoma?

  * * *

  RAELYNN: Ben! No! I’m busy! I’ll see you Thursday…you can wait that long.

  * * *

  BEN: Not sure I can.

  I contemplate the idea. It’s insane, right? I can’t just go to Oklahoma for Ben. I need to be here. Though it is spring break and barely anyone else is on campus right now…

  Before I can overthink it, I text him back.

  RAELYNN: If you’re serious…

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Ben

  I look down at my shaking hands and chuckle. I’ve been in some stressful situations. I’ve played in the NBA finals and the Olympic finals, I’ve walked out into a stadium filled with tens of thousands of screaming people, I’ve stood at the free-throw line carrying the hopes of an entire city on my shoulders, and I can’t remember the last time my hands shook like this. I clench and release my fists before I reach down into my pocket to grab my hotel keycard.

  I scan it across the sensor then push the door open, my eyes immediately skipping over all the hotel’s finery in search of the most beautiful thing in the room. At the edge of the bed, with her knees tucked up against her chest, Raelynn sits in her pajamas: a flimsy pale blue tank top and matching shorts. She beams when she sees me, unfolding her long legs and letting them dangle off the side of the bed. She tucks her hands up under her thighs, kicking her legs back and forth as I step inside the suite and let the door close with a heavy thud behind me.

  I wasn’t actually sure I’d find her here in my room, waiting for me. She’s left me wanting all day. I invited her to Oklahoma, had my assistant coordinate everything with security so she wouldn’t have to worry about any trouble. If they hadn’t updated me about her whereabouts, I would still think she was in California. She’s been ignoring my texts all day. Not a peep.

  “Surprise,” she says with a cheeky smile.

  I set my keycard down on the table in the foyer then slide off my shoes.

  “You were supposed to let me know when you left for the airport.”

  “Yes, but where’s the fun in that?”

  I arch a brow then reach up and grab the neck of my sweaty shirt. We were just down in the hotel gym, weight training after watching film for our game against OKC tomorrow, and I could use a shower, but it’s not my first priority at the moment.

  “I had to get updates about you from my team,” I add, sounding gruffer than I intend to as I walk toward her, dropping my shirt on the floor on the way.

  She scoots gently toward the middle of the bed until I reach her, wrap my hands around her ankles, and tug her down, toward the belly of the beast.

  Her eyes widen.

  “You’re not mad, are you? I wanted to surprise you. Build the suspense.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Consider it built.”

  I stare at her elegant neck as she forces a swallow.

  “Don’t be upset with me,” she says quietly, worry marring her face as she lifts her hands to press them gently against my chest.

  I lean down until her freckles blur and I can make out every intricate shade of blue in her eyes. “I couldn’t focus when we were in our team meeting. I doubt I soaked in five minutes of the footage we were supposed to be watching. You are distracting.”

  She takes the edge of her bottom lip in her mouth before I reach up to tug it free.

  “You could have kept me in Los Angeles,” she points out, her focus solely on my mouth.

  “That wouldn’t have helped,” I admit, leaning down until I can brush my nose against hers playfully.

  “So then get me out of your system. I won’t distract you then.”

  I laugh at the insane idea. She thinks it’s that easy? Thinks I could quench this thirst I have for her? What a sweet, naive thought.

  I lean in to kiss her and show her why that won’t work.

  Do you see now, Raelynn?

  Do you understand what’s happening?

  I want to take things further. I want to capture the hem of her tank top between my fingers and tug it up and over her head. Her need is telegraphed across her body, from the arch of her back to the breathless way she whispers my name between kisses.

  I thought about putting us out of our misery tonight—it’s the only thing I’ve thought about all day—but now I think I’ll hold off a little longer. Give her a dose of her own medicine.

  When I pull back and break the kiss, Raelynn sways toward me, blinking her eyes open.

  “You’re not really mad, are you?”

  I smile and step back. She slides off the bed and follows me, her hands sliding up my chest and looping around my neck.

  “Don’t be,” she says, rising up onto her toes so she can press a kiss to my neck. I can’t suppress a low rumble at the feel of her lips on my skin.