“Wait,” Chanel says, holding up a hand. “I’m claiming Cuntasaurus before that gets taken. I can’t be Whack-A-Mole, that doesn’t fit my aesthetic. But Cuntasaurus, now that’s what I’m talking about. Besides, Logan would agree that my lady tunnel deserves a strong, dominant name.”

  Ari chokes back a laugh. “You mean, you want to name your pussy after an old, dusty dinosaur that’s been dead for millions of years … sounds about right to me.”

  Chanel’s mouth drops as her eyes widen, realizing exactly where she went wrong. “No, no, no, that’s not what I meant. I changed my mind. I wanna be Whack-A-Mole.”

  “Too late, Cunty. Addison is Whack-A-Mole from here on out. You made your decision and now you have to live with it,” Ari laughs. “Though, just between us girls, you better spruce up that dinosaur love muffin of yours before Logan decides he needs to find one with a pulse.”

  “Oh, trust me,” Chanel says. “It’s got a pulse.”

  “Speaking of Whack-A-Mole,” Ilaria says. “Where is Addison?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know, but at school today, I heard Hudson say something about wanting to talk to her about the way their relationship is progressing, so if anything, she’s probably locked in her bathroom, trying to avoid an awkward conversation.”

  Arizona laughs. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this,” she says before walking to the very edge of the pool, closest to the boundary line between the two houses. Her hands circle her mouth and not a moment later, the loudest squawk comes tearing from deep in her chest. “ADDISON MORGAN,” she hollers. “GET YOUR FINE ASS OVER HERE AND BRING A BIKINI. WE’RE HAVING COCKTAILS.”

  I roll my eyes, unable to tear the grin off my face. “You could have just texted her.”

  “Now what fun would that have be—”

  “Ari?” a familiar voice calls from over the fence, cutting her off and making her eyes bug out of her head in fear. “Is that you?”

  “Oh, fuck,” Arizona panics, desperately searching for an escape just as Jax’s head pops up over the fence, zoning in on her like a target, locked and loaded. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no,” she starts chanting, trying to rush through the water to get her ass out of there.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Jax says, a cocky grin across his stupid face. “You’re not getting away from me this time.” Without another word, he grips the top of the fence and hauls himself up before swinging his legs over and jumping down on our side. He tears his shirt off and tosses it on the ground before throwing himself into the pool, something I’m sure he’ll regret later when that stab wound through his liver is giving him hell.

  Chanel, Ilaria, and I watch with wide eyes as his head surfaces right in front of Arizona, his hands slamming against the edge of the pool, caging her between his arms and body. “We need to talk,” he tells her. “It’s been weeks, babe. I’m sick of you cutting and running the second I walk into a room.”

  “Jax, don’t do this,” she begs, gently shaking her head, real fear in her eyes of being pushed too soon and having to face the haunting reality that he’ll never love her the way she needs. “I … I can’t—”

  He moves in even closer, his strong body pressed right up against hers as their eyes lock and she becomes mesmerized by his stare. “You and Logan saved my life, Ari,” he mutters. “I know there are other things we need to talk about, and I’m not going to force you to do that, but I can’t go another fucking day without holding you. I saw the way you looked at me when I was down, the way you cried—”

  Her hand falls to his chest, her fingers shaking. “You were dying in my arms. I thought I was going to lose you.”

  Jax takes her waist and drops his forehead against hers, and just seeing the raw emotion in both of their eyes has tears welling in mine. “You know I love you, right? You’re my best friend.”

  “But you’re not in love with me, Jax.”

  “I can learn,” he tells her. “It’ll come. I promise, I just … I can’t stand to see you walk away from me.”

  “It’s not enough,” she tells him. “I don’t want empty promises of a future you don’t know if you can give me.” Silence falls between them, and he pulls her into his chest, holding her close and refusing to let go. Though truth be told, I don’t think she wants him to. A moment passes before I see her tears splash against the water’s surface. “You broke my heart, Jax.”

  Jax’s arms tighten around her, pulling her hard against his chest, and I watch with despair as she nuzzles her face into his chest. “God, Ari. You have to know that was never my intention. I’d never knowingly hurt you.”

  Chanel glances toward me and Ilaria as Jax and Ari’s conversation falls quiet. “I feel like we’re intruding,” she says with a cringe. “Should we have like … disappeared already?”

  Reaching for my glass, I slowly stand, trying to be discreet before slowly walking back toward the house. “I think yes.”

  Ilaria and Chanel snicker before choking on their laughs and doing the same, making a point of not forgetting their drinks. We get through the back door when I walk straight into a hard body, his familiar scent wrapping around me.

  Uh-oh.

  His hand drops to my hip, steadying me before I make a complete ass of myself, and as Chanel and Ilaria turn around, their eyes go wide. “ABORT! ABORT!” Ilaria shouts, knowing damn well I haven’t spoken to Tanner in days.

  Having just enough vodka in my system to make me stupid, I take off at a sprint, my feet slamming against the tiles as Chanel and Ilaria bolt too, only Tanner’s reflexes are like nothing I’ve ever encountered. “Not so fucking fast,” he says, his hand snapping out and catching me around my elbow before I’ve even gotten two steps away.

  Chanel and Ilaria howl in laughter as they take off out the front door, most likely to go and bug Addison and Hudson, having no idea what kind of fresh hell they just left me to deal with. I mean, sure, they’re not blind. They know something has been going on and that it has to be big to drive a wedge between us. But there is no way in hell I’m about to betray his trust and tell them what’s truly going on.

  Letting out a heavy sigh, I move back in front of Tanner and pull my elbow free of his strong grasp. “Tanner, I—”

  “You swore you wouldn’t walk away from me,” he cuts in, the pain radiating from his dark gaze.

  “And I meant that,” I tell him. “I’m not walking away, but that doesn’t mean I don’t reserve the right to want to strangle you.”

  “Killer,” he begs, reaching for me again, only I evade his touch. “I can’t stand having you hating me like this. The way you’re looking at me right now … it’s like you don’t even know me … like you’re scared of me.”

  “Maybe I am,” I scoff, glancing back at the pool to make sure Jax and Ari can’t overhear our conversation. “What you did … I never thought you’d be capable of something like that, let alone not coming clean about it after. It’s been years, Tanner. That mother is still grieving, and those assholes are still roaming the streets, tormenting the families of Hope Falls. Who knows how many other women have been attacked.”

  “Babe—”

  “No,” I cut him off. “All the blood they’ve spilled since that night is on your hands too.”

  “That’s not fair,” he says, grabbing my arms and pulling me away from the door, hiding us around the corner for a little more privacy. “I told you what they did to me, what they said. What kind of choice is that? Keep my family safe, or risk it all trying to put them away?”

  “Or,” I say, stepping back from him again, anger burning through my veins. “You could have been a fucking man and owned your shit. You were a kid. You could have spoken to your parents or the police and ensured your family was protected while they worked on putting the Hardin brothers away. Worst case scenario, you would have done a few months in juvie, so don’t go acting like you were backed into a corner. You weren’t, and you never have been. That mother is still out there, still waiting for justice for her little boy, and you’re the reason she hasn’t gotten it.”

  “It’s not that simple,” he spits through a clenched jaw, desperation in his eyes. “I can’t just walk down to the police station and tell them all about it. I have people I need to protect, people who are relying on me to keep them safe.”

  “Oh, please,” I scoff, already having made my opinion on that quite clear.

  “What about Addie?” he questions. “What do you think they’ll do to her if I confess and nothing comes from it? Or what about you? You’re the most important person in my whole fucking world. If I report this, I’m hand-painting a fucking target on your back. Do you really think you’ll be safe? You know these assholes. You’ve feared them for years and know exactly what they’re capable of. Do you honestly think the cops aren’t aware of who they are? That they haven’t tried locking them behind bars a million times, only to watch them slip right out of their grasp?” Tanner pauses, shaking his head in frustration before looking back at me, that pain in his eyes shredding me to pieces. “I get it, okay. I do. I know you want to do the right thing and protect those who can’t do it for themselves. It’s one of the reasons I love you so fucking much, but I’m begging you, don’t push this. It’s a death sentence, Bri. I won’t be the reason why someone I love ends up in the ground.”

  My whole body shakes as tears well in my eyes, not knowing what to do or what to even say. All I can do is stare up into those eyes I thought I trusted. “Tanner—”

  He steps into me, his hands dropping low and curling around my ass, and in one quick movement, he lifts me off the ground and presses my back against the wall. Tanner’s lips come down on mine in a gentle, longing kiss. It only lasts a few moments, but when he pulls back, his eyes are overwhelmed with emotion.

  Tanner drops his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily. “Just tell me you don’t hate me,” he whispers, the words lingering between us like a heavy paperweight.

  My hand curls around the back of his neck, needing to hold him closer, terrified that he’ll pull away before I’m ready. “I could never.”

  And just like that, Tanner nods and lowers me back to my feet before brushing his knuckles down the side of my cheek. His eyes linger on mine, and then all too soon, he turns on his heel and walks out, leaving me with the burden of what he did still weighing down on my shoulders.

  Chapter 12

  BRIELLE

  Stepping through the doors of the cafeteria, I’m immediately faced with a crowd of bodies. Apparently it’s pizza day, and if you don’t get in quick, you don’t get any at all. Considering I got held up talking to my English teacher about my latest essay, I can only assume the good shit is gone.

  “Over here, Marge,” I hear Ari call over the chaos of the cafeteria. My head snaps up, and I find the girls huddled around our usual table, watching as Ari points to a spare plate beside her. “We saved you some.”

  Fuck, I love them.

  A grin tears across my face as I cut through the cafeteria, but my gaze sweeps to the boys’ table out of habit. Tanner’s intense stare locks on mine, making my heart race as the tension builds around us. I hate this weirdness between us, but here and now isn’t the place to have this out.

  I’m ready though … I think. The second he’s home from football training this afternoon, I’ll be right there, knocking on his door and demanding answers to the questions I’m not sure I want to hear … or maybe I do. Who knows? All that matters is that Tanner and I make it through this, though I know we will. We’re stronger than that. I may have needed time to come to terms with his past, but I can’t forget about what he needs, and right now, that’s me.

  Hell, Tanner has enough going on with his sister’s recovery and with Colby still in a coma. He pretends it doesn’t get to him, but I see the fear in his eyes. When he took Colby down, he was acting in desperation. He was doing what he had to do to save the people he loved, and while he definitely lost control, he’s no murderer. I don’t know if he’ll be able to live with himself knowing he took someone’s life. Though I’m not going to lie, the fact it’s Colby sure as hell makes it easier.

  Tanner refuses to look away as I come to a stop in the middle of the cafeteria. I want to go to him, and a lump forms in my throat as I linger in hesitation. Sensing my dilemma, Tanner stands, ignoring his rowdy friends as he walks around the table, each step bringing him just that bit closer.

  My heart pumps erratically as my palms grow sweaty, the tension burning between us like never before.

  Tanner walks straight into me, and my arms instinctively fly around his neck. He locks me in a tight embrace, lifting my feet off the ground as he holds me against his warm chest, our hearts beating as one. “I fucking love you, Killer,” he mutters in my ear. “I can’t stand the way you’re looking at me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I murmur, trying to hold myself together. “I just … I hate feeling this way. I hate how things are between us.”

  “I know,” he whispers, gently lowering me to my feet but refusing to release me. “It’s okay. I get it. You needed time.”

  I pull back just a bit, needing to lock onto those dark eyes that consume my heart and soul. “I swear, I’m not doing this to punish you. What you told me … I—” I stop abruptly, glancing around at the number of people crammed into the cafeteria. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this here.”

  Tanner presses his lips into a hard line. “Maybe not,” he murmurs, glancing around. “You wanna get out of here? We can go somewhere to talk, somewhere we can be alone.”

  The need to be with him pulses through my veins. I’d do anything to ditch school right now, but I shake my head, reality being a fucking bitch. “We can’t,” I say, clinging to his biceps as his hands claim my waist. “If you miss any more of your classes, Coach will have no choice but to bench you for this week’s game, and with everything else going on, you don’t need to take another hit like that. Besides, I’m still trying to catch up on schoolwork. The last thing I need is to have even more piling up.”

  Tanner nods, trying to give me an encouraging smile, but I see the hurt in his eyes, and it almost brings me to my knees. “I hate it, but you’re right,” he mutters, clearly not pleased with the situation. “Just tell me we’re okay.”

  “We’re okay,” I promise him. “Maybe I can come over after training? Avoid Mom and Orlando and stay the night at your place? We’ll have all night to talk.”

  Relief flickers in his eyes. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he tells me before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to my lips, lingering there before reluctantly pulling away. Tanner steps back and my hands fall heavily to my side, his stare locked and loaded on mine.

  The weight still rests between us, and damn it’s fucking heavy, but I see the light flickering between us, demanding to ignite the wild, reckless flames once again. I feel us coming back, coming out of this darkness to thrive. But we have to talk first, and he knows that just as well as I do.

  I watch as Tanner makes his way back to his table, having to stop when some of the guys from his team demand his attention, but it’s clear he’s not into it. The only good that comes from it is the moment his stare falls away from mine, the spell between us breaks and I’m finally able to keep walking.

  I join the girls a moment later, and as I sit down, I can’t help but notice how twitchy Addison seems. She’s staring off across the room in the same direction I’d just been staring, only it’s not her brother who has her messed up—it’s Hudson. She watches him, worrying her bottom lip as she drums her fingers against the table, her lunch forgotten.

  “What’s up with her?” I ask Ari as I take my seat beside her, my stomach growling at the sight of the warm pizza just waiting for me to annihilate it.

  Ari shrugs. “I don’t know. She’s been like this since she sat down. She stares at Hudson for a while, starts pumping herself up for something, stands up, and goes to storm over there before gasping and sitting her ass back down again like a little bitch-ass chicken.”

  A wide smile stretches across my face as I shake my head, understanding Addison more than she’ll ever know. After taking a bite of my pizza, I lean across and place a hand on Addie’s arm. “You good?” I ask, way too amused by all of this.

  “I’m fine,” she snaps, frustration thick in her tone as her stare remains locked across the room. “Though, be a darling and tell Arizona if she ever calls me a bitch-ass chicken again, I’m going to fuck her up.”

  Ari and I laugh, realizing this could be a long break, though at least we have some form of entertainment that doesn’t have anything to do with our own messed-up problems. I get back to my pizza while it’s still warm as Chanel whines to Ilaria about something Logan said, even though Ilaria isn’t even remotely paying attention, too heavily focused on the endless reel of social media she’s scrolling through.

  “—idiot thinks he’s king fucking shit with the way he talks himself up,” Chanel goes on. “I swear, if I have to hear how he’s the star of the school and holding the team together with his fucking superior football skills, I’m going to scream. I mean, do you have any idea how hard it is to smile and nod at the fucker when he’s being like that? He needs a giant dildo rammed up his ass to knock his ego back a bit.”

  “He can’t be that bad,” I laugh.

  “Have you met the guy?” she mutters. “Everyone knows he wouldn’t be able to score without Tanner making it happen. Don’t get me wrong, he is kinda amazing on the field, like so amazing that I’ve given him way more blow jobs after a game than he’s ever deserved, but the ego! It’s only gotten worse since Jax has been off because now all the attention is solely on Logan, and I swear, he eats that shit up. Maybe it’s a twin thing.”

  “What’s a twin thing?” Addie asks, clearly not paying attention as she continues staring at Hudson.

  “Logan and—”

  “OH, FUCK NO,” Ilaria booms, her face buried deep in her phone as she cuts Chanel off. Ilaria whoops with big, heaving laughs, unable to catch her breath, let alone explain what the fuck is going on. Tears well in her eyes as she grips her stomach, losing control.