With the first responders getting closer by the minute, Chanel scrambles to her feet and races toward them, waving her hands and screaming for them to hurry, probably feeling just as helpless as I do. But the fact they’re close enough for Chanel to reach has relief pulsing through my veins.

  They’re so close. We’re gonna make it. Everyone is going to be okay.

  The cops come blasting in behind the paramedics, covering the property like a plague of red and blue flashing lights. I can’t help but glance back at Colby’s lifeless body, unease and fear gripping my chest and squeezing impossibly tight.

  There’s no way the cops are going to let me walk away from this. Not now. Not after ending his life with my bare hands.

  Catching my stare, Riley shakes his head. “Don’t fucking go there, man,” he tells me. “Bri, Addie, and Jax are what’s important. They need you more than anything. Go to the hospital. I’ll stay here and deal with Colby.”

  “But the cops—”

  “No,” Riley says. “The cops don’t know shit. They don’t know it was you or what went down. Just get in the fucking ambulance with Bri. I’ll stay here. Besides, their first priority is to try and save him.”

  “There were too many witnesses,” I say. “They’ll fucking know.”

  The first ambulance comes to a screeching halt, stealing my attention away from my best friend as Hudson’s patience wears thin. He scoops Addie off the ground as Ilaria curses him out. “HELP!” he hollers as the paramedics bail from the rig. He races toward them, Ilaria barreling after him, her hands soaked with Addison’s blood.

  They tear open the back of the ambulance, and I watch Hudson all but toss her inside. Two paramedics immediately get to work, surrounding Addie as Ilaria drops to her knees in the grass, letting out a heart-wrenching sob of despair.

  Hudson clambers into the back of the ambulance, refusing to leave her side, gripping Addie’s hand as the paramedics do their thing. Before I know it, the other ambulances and cop cars are coming to a stop too.

  Relief pounds through my chest, but Riley isn’t done with me yet. He grips my chin tight and forces my stare back to him. “Listen here, there were plenty of witnesses, each one of them able to clarify that Colby came here looking for trouble. It was self-defense. Nothing else. You saved Jax and protected Bri by keeping him down. You did what you had to do to preserve the lives of the people you love. You got that? This wasn’t cold-blooded murder, Tanner, it was self-defense.”

  My gaze shoots back across to Colby’s lifeless body, and an ache squeezes my gut. Either way Riley looks at it, I killed a man, and that will forever live on my conscience.

  A hand lands on my shoulder, and I whip around to find a paramedic standing over me. “Let me take over, son. You’ve done well.”

  I scramble out of the way as the paramedic moves in, assessing Bri with a skilled gaze. “Stab wound to the lower abdomen,” he says as another paramedic moves in on her other side. They get to work, taking her vitals, and before I can ask how she is, they place her onto a gurney.

  “Tanner?” Bri panics, her eyes wide and terrified.

  “I’m right here.” I rush in, gripping onto her outstretched hand with everything I have. Up ahead, I notice the door of another ambulance closing on Jax, leaving Arizona and Logan behind.

  “Hey,” the guy saving Bri’s life says, catching my attention. “The lights are on. That’s a good sign.”

  I swallow hard and nod. “None of this is a fucking good sign.”

  “Too right,” he responds as Bri’s gurney lifts off the ground, finally stable enough to move. We hurry down the hill as others run in the opposite direction, heading for Colby’s body, but I keep my mind locked and loaded on Bri.

  She’s loaded into the back of the ambulance, and I scramble in beside her, trying to keep out of the way as I watch Riley race in beside Ilaria and scoop her off the dirty ground. He pulls her into his arms, holding her tight and letting her use his shoulder to cry on. Chanel weeps beside them, all of our friends just as terrified as I am.

  Bri refuses to release my hand, and I’m fucking grateful, needing her touch more than I need to breathe. As they close the back doors, I watch Addison’s ambulance take off at top speed, the sirens and lights blasting through the night.

  Letting out a shaky breath, I give Brielle a warm, encouraging smile. At some point, I will have to call my mom and tell her, for the second time, that her baby girl’s life is hanging in the balance.

  Chapter 2

  BRIELLE

  Pieces of a murmured conversation trickle through the foggy images in my mind, and I let out a pained groan, refusing to open my eyes as reality comes crashing back to me.

  The races, Jax, Addison, the knife … Colby.

  Fuck.

  Tanner.

  Desperation to check on him courses through my body, and I strain to open my eyes, but the fogginess keeps me locked down. I must be on some pretty intense painkillers, maybe morphine. I’m not going to lie, it kinda feels good.

  At some point, Colby’s knife slashed through my abdomen, and I know it must have hurt, but the adrenaline kept me going. All that mattered was Tanner, until I was laying in the bloodied grass with his hands pressed against my wound. That fucking hurt. I’d prefer to have my ass rammed at a million miles per hour with no lube than to experience the sheer agony of that stab wound again. Right now, I feel perfectly fine, though I’m not foolish enough to think this is going to last. The pain meds will wear off and when they do, it’s going to suck … a lot.

  Despite my pain and blood loss, it was the devastation in Tanner’s eyes that nearly killed me. After watching Jax go down and seeing his sister in Hudson’s arms, he thought he was going to lose me too. I could see the fear in his eyes, but he did what he could to save my life, all while relentlessly promising that he wasn’t going to let me die.

  He’s so strong. He’s everything a girl could ever want or need. He’s my whole world, and I owe him my life. Fuck, I love him so much it hurts sometimes. I just don’t know how he’s going to get through this. If Tanner did end Colby’s life, it’s justified, but the toll it would take on him mentally … I don’t know. That’s a lot for anybody to handle. I’d just hate to see him suffer like that, after everything he’s already been through.

  My heart breaks for him. I want him to be happy and have the life he’s always deserved, but this might just have the power to destroy him. I’m not going to let that happen though. I will prove to him just how amazing he is. No matter what I have to do.

  A warm hand curls around mine and gently squeezes before I hear his soft murmur in my ear. “Killer?” he says, his voice breaking with despair. “Are you awake?”

  Squeezing his hand in return, I try to open my eyes again, but they feel too heavy. “Mmmm,” I grumble, certain that my face is doing that ugly morning scrunch thing that makes me look like an overweight rodent.

  “Oh, fuck,” Tanner sighs, the relief in his tone clear as day. He leans forward and rests his forehead against my wrist, and I pull my hand from his before curling it around the back of his neck, needing to feel him as close as humanly possible.

  “I’m okay,” I whisper, finally able to open my eyes, if only just a little.

  The clinical light of the hospital room floods my vision, and I squint against it as my eyes adjust enough to see him. He’s sitting beside my hospital bed, the chair pulled in close enough that his long legs are bound to be cramped beneath the bed. We’re alone in the room, but I could have sworn there was someone else in here.

  “Hey,” I say over the lump in my throat, my fingers tightening around the back of his strong neck. “Look at me.”

  His head pulls up, and the moment those dark eyes come to mine, everything feels okay in the world. All the bullshit and chaos fade away, and I’m left with nothing but the pure love shining between us. He watches me for a moment as if unable to believe this is real, and after what feels like a lifetime, he leans in close and brushes his lips over mine. “You have no fucking idea how happy I am to see you awake.”

  “You’re telling me,” I murmur. “I would have been pissed if I didn’t make it and missed out on a lifetime of kinky fuckery and ass ramming.”

  Tanner laughs and curls his arm around me, snaking his arms around the back of my neck just so he can wrap me in his warm embrace without jostling me. “I swear, I don’t know whether to hate or love your smart fucking mouth,” he tells me. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to hear you joking about butt stuff while you’re bleeding out?”

  “Probably just as frustrating as watching you panic over situations that are out of your control.”

  “Fair point,” he tells me, dropping a kiss on my forehead and pulling back just enough to see my face. When his eyes come back to mine, there’s something much deeper there, a hollowness that tears at my chest. “I’m so sorry, Killer. I never should have taken you to the races so soon after what happened in court, both you and Addie. I knew Colby was going to retaliate, and I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Don’t,” I tell him, reaching up and cupping the side of his face, my thumb gently stroking over his warm skin. “I’m not somebody you can keep caged because some asshole might lose his fucking mind. The world is always going to keep turning, there’s always going to be a new threat, but I’m not going to hide at home because there’s other shit going on in the world. That’s not how I’m going to live my life, and I’m sure Addison would say the same thing.”

  “Babe—”

  “No,” I tell him. “What happened at the track, that’s not on you. Colby decided to retaliate, and he came at us with a knife. You protected us. You did what you had to do.”

  Tanner presses his lips into a hard line, and I hate the denial plaguing his stare. “Yeah,” he mutters, but the conviction is absent from his deep tone, telling me what he thinks I need to hear just so we don’t have to discuss it anymore.

  “Tanner,” I whisper, my gaze sweeping over his face. “If Colby’s knife didn’t kill me, your inability to see just how amazing and good you are, will. I love you, and it kills me to see you doubting yourself like this.”

  “I’m sorry, Killer. It’s just … it’s my job to protect both you and Addie, and I let you both down. I was too fucking consumed by rage to notice you’d been hurt when I promised you—I fucking promised you—I would learn to control myself.”

  His head falls again, his forehead dropping to my hip as he unintentionally crushes every last remaining part of my soul.

  “I swear to God, Tanner Morgan. If you start giving me this self-pitying bullshit, I’m going to whoop your ass into next week. If you’re to blame for Addison getting hurt again, then I’m responsible as well.”

  His head shoots straight back up, his brows furrowed with distaste. “The fuck are you talking about?”

  “I was with you out in the woods, Tanner. I watched your sister walk away, and I happily left with you. I could have told you to go after her or I could have gone, but I didn’t. I’m just as much to blame. The same could be said for Hudson. Is he gonna cop the same heat you’re giving yourself? He didn’t race after her. What about Riley or the twins?”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Isn’t it? You’re blaming yourself for Colby’s actions, so why the hell can’t I do the same?”

  “You got stabbed right in front of me, and I didn’t fucking notice.”

  “I didn’t even notice,” I throw back at him. “Yes, you were consumed by rage but, given the situation, it was justified. At that point, Jax and Addie had already been hurt. There was nothing you could have done to change that, and if you didn’t go after him, he would have come for me, and this stab wound could have been a lot worse.”

  “I never would have let that happen.”

  Everything softens inside my chest, and I brush my fingers across his jaw. “I know that,” I tell him. “Just promise me you’re not going to carry the burden of this.”

  He glances away, his hand coming up and curling around mine, bringing them both down to the bed. “I think I killed him.”

  The pain in his voice tears me apart, and I squeeze his hand a little tighter. “Have you heard anything?” I ask. “How long have I been out?”

  Tanner shakes his head. “It’s just after five in the morning, so six-ish hours maybe,” he explains. “Riley’s been going from room to room, trying to keep everyone updated. As far as I know, both Addie and Jax are out of surgery. We’re just waiting for them to wake up. As for Colby—nothing.”

  “I could be wrong, but I’m sure if he were actually dead, the cops would have dragged you out of here for questioning ages ago.”

  “The fucker wasn’t breathing.”

  Pressing my lips into a hard line, I pull our joined hands up to my chest and hold them to my body. “I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I wish I could do or say something to make this all go away, but I think it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.”

  “Yeah,” he says, his gaze dropping once again. “You don’t need to worry about me. All I want is to see you better.”

  My gaze sails down my body and I lift my gown, peering through the neck hole to assess the damage. “How bad is it?”

  “Not as bad as it looks,” he tells me. “You’ll be back on your feet soon. The knife didn’t hit any vital organs, but it was close. Just a little bit lower and you would have been taking laxatives for at least six to eight weeks.”

  My brows shoot up, horror rocking through my body at the thought of having to take laxatives for weeks on end. “Fuck. Really?” I gasp. Nobody wants to see me on laxatives. I had an unfortunate incident with a gummy once, and I turned into a human squirt machine. And not in a good way.

  “Yeah,” he says as a stupid grin cuts across his face. “That would have been a fun conversation.”

  “Oh, I’m so glad my misery amuses you,” I say, though we both know the smile on his face would have made it all worth it … kind of. Okay, not really, but at least it helps.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, his eyes sparkling with laughter as he tries to control his face. Though if I’m honest, I’d take that smile a million times over the hopelessness from a moment ago. “I really don’t mean to laugh, it’s just the look on your face. Laxatives don’t agree with you?”

  “We are so not talking about this.”

  “Call it market research. After all, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, and at some point, something will happen, and you’ll have to take them. Don’t you think it’s best to get it all out in the open now?”

  “Trust me, if I was on laxatives, everything would already be out in the open, and it wouldn’t be pretty.”

  Tanner laughs and leans forward to press his lips to mine. “I fucking love you,” he tells me, “but please don’t ever put that mental image in my head again.”

  I grin right back at him, loving the warmth I feel from him. “And risk never grossing you out ever again?” I gasp, feigning outrage. “What kind of life would that be?”

  Tanner rolls his eyes and settles back into his chair, his brow arching with curiosity. “So I suppose this isn’t the time to remind you about all the butt stuff you so desperately want?”

  My cheeks flush with embarrassment, despite Tanner being the one person I don’t need to be embarrassed in front of. Though, I’m more humiliated that I let a comment like that slip out in front of Riley. I can only imagine what that idiot is going to do with it. “You’re an asshole,” I tell Tanner, just in case he forgot. After all, it’s been a while since I reminded him.

  Tanner laughs and shakes his head. “Seriously, Killer? You make it too easy.”

  I love the way his eyes sparkle as he laughs, and it pains me to burden him with the questions I’ve been holding back. Unfortunately, my desperation can’t wait any longer. “How are Jax and Addie?” I ask, watching as all the happiness seems to drain from his face the moment I mention his sister.

  “They were lucky,” he tells me. “Well … not as lucky as you, but considering the alternative, they’re lucky,” he says. “The knife tore straight through Jax’s liver. He only got out of surgery an hour ago, so I don’t have more details than that, but from what I can find on google, he’ll be out for a while. A few months maybe. Enough to end the football season for him.”

  “Shit,” I mutter, my lips pressing into a hard line. “That’s gonna destroy him.”

  “Understatement of the fucking year,” he tells me. “That’s not a conversation any of us wanna be around for.”

  “At least he’s still breathing,” I say. “That’s all that matters.”

  “Try telling that to Addie,” Tanner says, darkness swarming his deep tone.

  My brows furrow, watching the array of emotions crossing his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I question, a hint of desperation seeping through my tone.

  “Colby punctured her right lung,” he explains. “The knife slipped off her rib and went straight through the lung. She’s lucky to be alive.”

  “Holy shit,” I breathe, the thought of losing her wreaking havoc on my mind. “Is she alright though?”

  “Physically she’ll be alright, but mentally? I don’t know. She was messed up after the first attack, and now this? I don’t know if I’ll ever see the carefree version of Addison she was before Colby got his hands on her. I’m just …” He pauses as his hands ball into tight fists, his tone lowering to a soft whisper. “I’m just glad it’s over. He’s gone and we can just focus on getting her the help she needs.”

  “How long until she’s out of here?”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Mom’s been in with the doctors, so I’ll know more after that, but I suppose it really depends on the severity of it and what kind of damage Colby did. Google can’t help me with that shit. All I know is that Addie won’t be dancing for a while, and that’s gonna kill her. She’s already been off since the first attack.”