I shouldn’t have been surprised. The moment this shit even had the possibility of turning into a party, Jax was all over it. I thought it was bad enough when he demanded I couldn’t take Bri up to my room for the night, but when he said I couldn’t even share the bed she’s got down here, I was about ready to explode. The only thing I don’t understand is how the fuck I ended up caving to this bullshit.

  It’s probably got something to do with the giant hole through his guts.

  It’s well past one in the morning and everyone is out cold from taking their pain meds. So, I suppose the joke is on me. There’s nothing and no one stopping me from going up to my room and sleeping in my bed like a normal fucking person, yet I find myself chilling out on the couch, watching Brielle sleep.

  Fuck, that kinda made me sound like a creepy stalker, but hell, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve stood by to watch her sleep. Only this time, it’s different. I nearly lost her. I nearly lost them all. I can’t even describe how grateful I am to see them all okay. Having them in the same room like this, right where I can watch over them, eases something in my chest. I know Colby is out for the count, at least for now, and I don’t have to protect them like I did before, but the memories of what happened last week keep me close.

  Staring up at the ceiling, I try to convince myself to go to bed upstairs when Addison starts fretting in her sleep. She kicks her legs and screams, trying to push some invisible force away. I sit up, my eyes wide as I watch her for a moment. “No, no,” she cries, her head whipping from side to side. “Don’t touch me. No, stop. Don’t touch me.”

  Fuck.

  She’s dreaming about Colby.

  “Help,” she cries. “Help. Somebody, please help me.”

  The moment my feet hit the floor, I notice Hudson stumble off his couch from a dead sleep to get to her. He’s by her side in seconds, and I freeze as he takes her hand and gently shakes her awake. The fear in his eyes is like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s been a week of this, every night watching her relive the worst moment of her life over and over again, and it’s been slowly destroying us all.

  The moment Addison was discharged from the hospital, Hudson has been here, refusing to leave her side, and I’m grateful for it. As much as I want to be her protector, it’s not me she needs. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying. I’ll never stop.

  Addison wakes a moment later, and I’m unable to tear my eyes off the two of them. Hudson wraps her in his arms, holding her tight as she nuzzles her face into his neck, and he whispers something into her ear. His hand slowly moves up and down her back and having seen enough, I take a step back and avert my gaze. As much as I want to help her, this is a private moment, and with everyone else still asleep, I can’t help but feel as though I’m intruding.

  Wanting to give Addie some space, I walk out of the living room and through the kitchen, but with every step I take, my control slips just a little bit more. I hate that she’s going through this, and I hate it even more that no matter what I do, I can’t save her from the demons inside her head. I could end Colby’s miserable life a million times over, but that won’t do anything to change the memories that relentlessly haunt her.

  Needing some fresh air, I take off through the front door and find myself pacing the lawn, my control slipping further with each passing second. I try to rein it in, try to calm myself with slow, deep breaths, but the sound of Addison’s fear circles my head, making it impossible to find peace.

  I pace across the lawn until it becomes too much, and I force myself to drop down onto the grass. My elbows rest against my knees as my head falls forward. I close my eyes, doing what I can to listen to the soft sounds of the night—the leaves rustling in the breeze, the rumbling of an engine a few streets away, the sound of an owl in the distance. It goes a long way in allowing me to calm myself, or at least I thought it had until Hudson steps through the door.

  My head whips around, wide-eyed and panicked. “Is she okay?”

  He shrugs his shoulders as he joins me in the grass. “I don’t fucking know,” he mutters, his jaw clenched tight. “She won’t talk to me. She allowed me to stay just long enough to calm down, but then she pushed me away. Said she wanted to be alone.”

  I shake my head, digging my nails into my palm. “She’s so fucking stubborn,” I murmur. “She needs to let us in. We can’t help her like this.”

  “She’ll come around,” he tells me, his words sounding like a plea of desperation. “She has to.”

  “I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head. “She’s too far gone. We barely just got her back after the first attack, and now this? Before she was only living with the memories, but now she has physical scars as well. Every time she looks in the mirror and sees it staring back at her, she’ll be reminded of him. Every time her fingers brush over her scar and feel it, she’ll think of him. Every fucking time, man. I can’t fix this for her. I can’t make it go away.”

  “You think you’re the only one feeling like this?” Hudson throws back at me. “She’s the goddamn love of my life, and I can’t even make her smile. Every fucking night she dreams about what he did to her, and it kills me. I just wish … I wish she could just let me in.”

  My head falls forward again, and I let out a heavy breath. “I never should have let her walk away at the track. I should have gone after her.”

  “Why’d you even let her go, man?” he pleads. “You should have told her to stay home. I would have stayed with her. I could have protected her here.”

  My head snaps up, my brows furrowed with anger. “The fuck? She’s my goddamn sister, not a fucking animal. I don’t let her do anything. She doesn’t need my approval to leave the house if she wants to go out. I’m not her fucking keeper. If you didn’t want her at the track, maybe you should have asked her to fucking stay home.”

  “I … no,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s not my position to be telling her what she can and can’t be doing.”

  “And you think it’s mine?” I demand. “You know damn well had I told her to stay home, she would have found a way to be at that track and made a point of rubbing it in my face.”

  He continues shaking his head. “You should have tried.”

  “What’s the matter with you? Too fucking scared she’ll push you away if you tell her no? Look at you, Hudson. You’re sitting out here in the fucking grass instead of comforting her inside. She’s already pushing you away, and all you’ve done is cater to her like a fucking love-sick puppy. Grow a pair of fucking balls and stop trying to be her best friend. She’s already got enough of those. She needs a fucking man who’s going to protect her, not a fucking child.”

  Anger bursts across his face, and I see the exact moment he decides he’s had enough. His jaw clenches, and he balls his hands into fists. I almost dare him to come at me faster. I fucking need this just as much as he does, and I’ll be damned if I let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers.

  Hudson lunges at me, and I almost welcome him with open arms. He may be one of my closest friends, but I’m not above kicking his ass, especially if he wants to start blaming me for the shit Addie is going through. This is on him just as much as it is on me. He could have gone after her when she took off at the track. He could have asked her to stay home. He could have grown a pair and asked to take her out somewhere just the two of them. Yes, I failed to protect her, but so did he.

  His fist slams across my jaw, and the momentum throws me back against the grass. Before I can right myself, Hudson is on top of me. His fist comes down again, splitting my brow, and I revel in the sweet punishment, finally able to feel something. “That’s all you’ve got?” I mock, bringing my knee up and slamming it right into the center of his back.

  He roars in pain and arches back, leaving me the perfect opportunity to throw him down into the grass. I scramble to my knees and lunge for the fucker, giving him everything I’ve got as he fights back just as hard. Our knuckles bleed just as much as our faces do, but neither of us dares to stop, both desperate for the release this relentless punishment can offer.

  It goes on and on, trading punches for punishment, only stopping when a wave of freezing water slams against our backs. “Stop fucking around and pull yourselves together,” Jax says, holding the garden hose at full blast, more than disgusted by our performance. “You’re gonna wake up the girls.”

  Hudson and I fall apart, me on my back while Hudson kneels on his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath, but Jax doesn’t dare relent with the hose, holding it on us like some kind of messed up joke. He flicks it between us, hitting us both in the face and watching as we try to squirm away from it, spluttering against the cold water. “The fuck is wrong with you?” I demand, dragging my hand over my face, wiping away the water and blood while making a point of not cringing at the pain.

  Jax turns the hose on Hudson’s ass as he remains on his hands and knees. “What’s wrong with me?” Jax questions, raising a brow. “You two are out here fucking-up each other’s faces in some bullshit attempt to feel like a goddamn hero defending Addie’s honor, while I’ve been inside, lying awake for the past four hours with a raging hard-on because I can’t get off without Ari. I’m so fucking horny, even Hudson’s ass looks pretty good right now.”

  “The fuck?” Hudson says, pushing to his feet and having to brace himself against his knees, still catching his breath.

  I shake my head, sitting up as I look at Jax and see the raging hard-on he’s referring to, his bullshit dilemma somehow making our fight seem so trivial now. “Turn the fucking hose off and go jerk off somewhere.”

  “You don’t think I’ve tried?” he spits, aiming the hose to the ground as he twists the top, turning it off. “I’ve been in there trying to grab it for the past twenty minutes but all I can hear is you two bitches going at each other.”

  “Wait,” Hudson says, turning to look at him, water dripping from his hair. “You’ve been trying to jerk off while lying in the bed right beside Addie? The fuck, man?”

  Jax scoffs. “Don’t be so fucking stupid,” he says. “She’s my cousin. It’s not like I’m thinking about her or anything. I was looking at Bri.”

  “The fuck did you just say?” I demand, shooting to my feet.

  “What the hell is wrong with you two? You’re acting like I’ve been in there violating them or something. All I need is to fucking come. Weren’t you listening?” he demands, his frustration getting the best of him. “I can’t. No matter how much I try. I can’t fucking hold it without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I’m getting to the point where it feels like it’s about to fall off. I mean, fuck. Please, one of you just get on your fucking knees and suck it. I’ll close my eyes. I don’t even need to know which one of you did it. It’s just a couple of friends having each other’s backs, right? No big deal.”

  Hudson laughs, watching Jax as I get to my feet. “You know damn well I’m not about to put that thing in my mouth,” I tell him, walking past him and pausing to grip his shoulder. “Put yourself out of your misery and call Arizona already.”

  “Oh yeah,” Jax mocks, “because that’s going to go down well. Hey babe, I know you hate my fucking guts right now because you think I treat you like some B-grade whore, but just wondering if you could pop around to suck my dick really quick, maybe bounce on it for a minute? Mmkay, thanks.”

  Hudson chokes on a laugh. “You’re on your own,” he says, pausing by the door just to shoot me one last venomous glare before striding back into the house and leaving us out in the wet grass.

  Jax stares at me hopefully, and I shake my head, hoping like fuck he’s not actually serious, but desperate men make desperate decisions. He pouts as I turn and head back inside, letting out a sigh as I go. I wish Jax’s hard-on was my biggest problem right now. “Just call one of those bitches you’re always fucking.”

  He shakes his head. “Can’t,” he mutters, his voice lowering as we get closer to the back room. “They don’t do it for me anymore. Not since I found out how Ari feels at the lake. She’s the only one I can get off with now. But I swear, if you fucking tell anyone, I’ll end you.”

  A grin kicks up the corner of my lips, and I try not to laugh at the fucker as he follows me back into the make-shift hospital room, only to find both Addison and Brielle sitting up in their beds, glaring at me like I’m some kind of rabid animal. “What the hell did you do?” Addison screeches, grabbing a pillow and trying to launch it at me, only it falls flat with her lack of strength.

  “Me?” I demand, glancing at Hudson. “He’s the one who came at me. Get on his ass, not mine.”

  “Wait,” Brielle says, looking between Hudson and me before narrowing her suspicious gaze. “You didn’t start this?”

  “No,” I scoff. “But I sure as fuck finished it.”

  Hudson rolls his eyes and moves toward Addison, letting her look over him as though he’s too precious to take a beating. Bri just gives me a hard stare. “Really?” she questions, not impressed at all. “Can’t we just have a few days where no one gets hurt?”

  Jax steps around me. “Speaking of hurt,” he says, and the hint of desperation in his tone makes me want to clobber him. “I need you to call Ari and let her know I’m not going to make it through the night.”

  Bri gapes at him, not understanding, but I think I already know where this is going. “What the fuck are you talking about? The doctor said you were going to be fine.” Her eyes cut to mine like bullets in the night. “What the hell did you do to him?”

  I’m about ready to argue my innocence when Jax lets out a heavy sigh and indicates down to his junk. Bri’s gaze drops and the look of disgust almost makes it worth it. “Eww, Jax. I don’t want to see that shit. Go take a cold shower or something.”

  He lets out a heavy sigh. “I take it you’re not going to call Ari then?”

  Bri rolls her eyes and throws back her blankets as she looks at me. “You, come with me. I need to clean you up before you bleed all over the house.”

  “No, don’t get up,” I tell her. “I’ll be fine. I can do it myself.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do, Tanner Morgan,” she says, her brow raising with the challenge. “If I want to clean your stupid ass up, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do, and there’s nothing you can do or say that’s going to stop me.”

  I groan and make my way toward her, taking her hand and helping her out of bed as Hudson does the same with Addie. We start making our way toward the bathroom, but Addie cuts in front of us and shoots me a nasty glare as she blocks the entrance. “Find your own bathroom, asshole. And while you’re at it, figure out how you’re going to apologize to Hudson.”

  “Excuse me?” Bri spits, stepping in front of me and glaring daggers at my sister. “He doesn’t owe anyone an apology. But Hudson sure as fuck does.”

  “Okay,” I say, taking Bri by the shoulders and pulling her away from Addie, knowing the two of them could go at each other like this for hours. “No one owes anyone anything. We were both letting off steam. He said shit. I said shit. We beat the fuck out of each other and now we’re cool.” I catch Brielle’s stare and hold it as she glares back at me, waiting for her anger to pass. “Alright?” I demand.

  She relents for a minute before finally letting out a breath and relaxing. “Fine,” she says with a huff, allowing me to take her hand and pull her away, just as Hudson does the same with Addie.

  Chapter 8

  TANNER

  Brielle trails up the stairs behind me as I lead her to my private bathroom, holding her hand in case she needs me. When I open the door for her, she storms past me in search of the first aid kit. Bri opens the cupboards beneath the sink, and I step into her, taking her hips as she bends down, her firm ass pressed against my dick.

  She finds the first aid kit and straightens up before turning to face me, trying to hide the cringe of pain the movement has caused. Her hand brushes against my chest as I reach down and grip her ass, lifting her to sit on the edge of the vanity. She places the first aid kit down beside her as I step in between her legs, needing to be as close as humanly possible.

  Her soft gaze searches my face, looking over every little mark and bruise on my skin before dropping her stare down my body. She looks over my chest and arms before moving all the way down to my hands. Brielle takes my hand and lifts it to her lips before pressing a gentle kiss on my swollen knuckles. “You’re an idiot,” she tells me, lifting her gaze back to mine as her thumb gently brushes over the back of my hand.

  “An irresistible idiot?” I question, the corner of my lips pulling into a dazzling smirk that she usually can’t resist.

  Her stare hardens and she shakes her head. “No. Just an idiot.”

  Well, shit. That didn’t go how I’d hoped, but it doesn’t stop my smile from widening. “Come on,” I tell her, watching as she opens the kit and digs for what she needs. “Don’t be mad at me. We were just letting off some steam.”

  “What were you even doing out there in the first place? It’s the middle of the night.”

  Letting out a sigh, everything softens inside me, and I lift my hand to her cheek, gently sliding it around the back of her neck and roaming my thumb over her warm skin. “Addie was having another nightmare about Colby, so Hudson sat with her while I went outside for some fresh air, but then she wanted some space, so he came outside too. We were just frustrated. He was getting at me, so I threw it back at him. The next thing I know, his fist is in my face, and we were beating the shit out of each other.”

  She gives me another hard stare. “Like I said, you’re an idiot. You both are. All you’ve achieved is giving each other black eyes.”