Because he blackmailed someone.

  Because I knew he’d do worse if he needed to.

  And because no matter what he was doing, I still loved him.

  “Because my heart’s going to get ripped out by him one day.”

  “How do you know?”

  I held her gaze, her hand still holding the side of my face. “Because I’m like you. We don’t like unless we’re going to love, and we don’t love unless it’s forever.” I smiled at her, while I felt my heart being ripped apart. “And because the forever tends to never happen for us. That’s what I know.”

  I gave her a sad smile. “How much hurt can we take?”

  “Oh, Ava. Honey.” She wheeled all the way in, locking both sides, and reached for me. She cupped each side of my face, and she looked right at me. Eye to eye. Intense. “I don’t know what he’s done to bring this on, or if he’s done anything. Maybe you’re just running blind, but no matter you’re the only one that can judge that. If he did something, can you understand why he did it? It’s only until you understand what he did or why he did it before you can make a decision moving forward.”

  Her words cut through me because I didn’t know why he did what he did. I never asked.

  “And if he didn’t do anything? If I’m just running blind?”

  Her hand fell to mine, and she squeezed lightly. “Then it’s time you stopped running because I can see how much he loves you. I can see how much you love him, and isn’t it worth a try?”

  “What’s worth a try?”

  “A try at being happy? Isn’t it worth it?”

  26

  AVA

  I was waiting on the golf course when Zeke arrived. I’d been sitting down but stood when he got closer, frowning at me and carrying what I’d asked him to bring. He held it up. “Why’d you want me to bring this beer?”

  My palms were sweating. I wiped them over my shirt, nodding to the bottle in his hand. “That’s the beer you were drinking the night I accidentally walked here?”

  His face was closed off, but he nodded again. “Why’d you want me to bring this again?”

  “Because.” I reached for it, opened it, and took a sip before passing it back to him. “That was the night I thought everything was ending. Do you remember?”

  He kept watching me, his eyes narrowed, but said, “Yes.”

  “Well. I liked the beer. I never told you, but I think that’s my favorite beer.”

  “Okay.” His head cocked back. There was a slight softening around his eyes, but his mouth was still firm. “What are we doing here, Ava?”

  “We—” I was so nervous. I gestured down. “Can you sit? Can we sit?”

  He looked around, but it was after dark. The course was supposed to be closed, and I had called to make sure there wouldn’t be a late-night party. “You like to golf.”

  He snorted, but sat and leaned back, stretching his legs out. “I golf. I don’t know if I like it. It’s one of those sports you grow up doing and you have to keep doing because everyone in your world does it. I like drinking when I golf. I do like that.”

  I nodded, my stomach still doing somersaults. “Right. That’s good.” I looked around because I thought I had all of this planned. It wasn’t going how I thought it would go. Then again, I’d never done something like this before.

  “Ava.”

  I paused and looked over. He’d said my name so softly. “Yeah?”

  “What are we doing here?”

  “I’m trying to do a new leaf thing. And I’m trying to apologize for earlier.” I held his gaze. “For what I said, especially at the end.”

  “That was this morning.”

  “I know.”

  “Where were you all day? You didn’t go to any of your jobs.”

  I frowned. “How do you know?”

  “Because I scoped them out, all day. You never showed, and they wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  “Oh.” A nervous laugh slipped out of me. I started rocking, self-soothing. “I called in to the stables, said I needed a self-care day. Then I went and had lunch with my mom and she, well, she changed my mind about everything.”

  “Everything?”

  I nodded, a firm one. “Everything.”

  He tilted his head to see me better, and I was beginning to feel warm from the look in his gaze. They were knowing, somber, but also kind. He was giving me the look he’d done when he saw me walking drunk here and when he took me to his place, and when he gave me food, and when he held my hand after my grandmum died, and all the other times that I hadn’t branded to my memory. I was doing that now.

  “I overreacted—”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  I paused.

  He leaned forward, his head still turned my way and I realized that Zeke never looked away from me. He always had his eyes on me. Steadfast. “I poked a bear this morning, and I might have to keep poking it to make sure it doesn’t poke me back. You don’t know the reason, but—”

  “I don’t need to,” I rushed in, cutting him off and my hand laid on his arm. “I don’t need to know the reason you did what you did. I don’t even know all the details, just that you went to someone’s house, someone that I loathe, and you blackmailed him with something you found when you hacked him. It’s a whole different level for me, but you’re a different level.”

  “Ava.” He began to shake his head. “If you start on this where I’m here, and you’re here, and we’re too different, or if you start talking about the differences in our socioeconomic status, I’m going to hurl this beer bottle off into the dark. And I know you hate that shit, so you’d have to go and look for it, and then I’d have to go with you because it’s dark out and who knows what creatures are scurrying around here, and I don’t want to do that. You think I’m all this brave guy, but I’m really just a scaredy cat.”

  I was fighting back a grin. “You’d be going to protect me?”

  “No. I’d be going so you could protect me.” His tone was dry, and he was giving me a subtle look. A subtle hint. The ghost of a smile was on his face, just briefly. “I told you, I’m the scaredy cat here.”

  “But you’re not.” My tone went serious. “You are the brave one. You’re the one who wades into any battle that’s going on if it means helping out one of your friends. I don’t know why you swung on Mitchell, but I can take a guess.”

  I was holding his gaze this time. I leaned in closer, dropping my voice. “When I thought about it, I figured that probably Dirty Mean Mitchell said some not-nice things, probably about me, maybe about others, but most definitely it was bad enough where you reacted.”

  “I’d do it again.”

  My heart thumped, real hard in my chest. “I know you deleted my account with his bank. Someone I know who works there called me this afternoon. She was worried, heard what happened, and knew about you and me. She looked me up, saw I wasn’t there, and panicked.”

  “Your money is safe. I just transferred it all to your other account. I was going to tell you, but shit hit the fan.”

  “I won’t lie. It’s alarming that you can do that, what you did.”

  “I was only protecting you.”

  “I know.” I moved up and touched a hand to his chest, moving him back so I could sit on his lap. I liked getting up close. One of his hands went to my leg, anchoring me in place. “I know all of that. I know why you did it. I’m just saying that’s a little scary, but—” I held up a hand when he started to say something. “—I realized today that I have somewhat hid from life. I think. I hid in work. I hid in my family. I hid when I didn’t go to graduate school. I even hid in my ex. Remember Jarrod?”

  His hand curled around me. “The offer to beat him up still stands. I don’t think I scared him enough.”

  I smiled a little at that. “In the grand scheme of things, Jarrod was no one to me. I hid in him because problems my parents were having, and then I hid in Roy because Roy was everything Jarrod wasn’t. Roy was a good guy. Kind. Nice. Not flashy. Not charismatic. Roy was like me. He was steady.”

  “Not enjoying hearing about the either ex. It makes me want to do something stupid, again.” He gave a low growl.

  I held up a hand. “I’m getting to my point. Roy worked all the time, but now, looking back, I think he was hiding too. He was like me in that way. Then he met someone, and he fell head over heels for her. I didn’t understand. I was okay with it, but I just didn’t understand.” I tipped my head back to get a better look at him, moving so I was straddling him. Both of his hands moved to my back, one slid down to my ass, palming me. The warmth just kept getting warmer inside of me. “Until you.”

  “Me?”

  “Until I fell in love with you.”

  His whole face softened, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “You love me?”

  I nodded, so serious. “You scare me. You unnerve me. You challenge me. You are the opposite of me in so many ways. And you make me live. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me feel loved, and that scares me, but Zeke, there is no one like you. No one will ever be like you. You are the foundation that supports others, and you are a foundation for yourself. You don’t need anyone to stand for you, and I don’t think you even realize that about yourself. You’ve not asked anyone to stand for you, but I will. I want to. I want to be the one who helps you stand at times.”

  “Babe.”

  “I started thinking about all the firsts I’ve had with you. My first beer. The first time someone broke into my apartment and crashed my pity party in the bathtub.”

  “Speaking of, we should do that again. Tub sex is fun.”

  I grinned but felt all the tenderness swelling up inside of me for him. “The first house party where it was where I was living. My first time watching someone hack. My first time finding out someone I knew had blackmailed someone else for me, to protect me.” I leaned in until my forehead was resting against his. “The truth is that you terrify me. You are so full of life, and you come in and that whole world is at your beck and call. You are larger than life sometimes, and there I was, hiding from life and you blew everything away until it was just me. Just you. And somehow, in the middle of all of that, I fell in love with you and that made me even more terrified, but you know what’s worse?”

  His eyes were so tender. He lifted a hand and ran the side of his knuckle down my face, real gentle. “What?”

  “That now that I’ve had you, I can’t not have you. You’ve ruined me. You gave me sunshine when I didn’t know I needed it, and now all I want is your sunshine. You can’t take it back, even if I’m the reason. You can’t do that. That’s what terrifies me the most now. Losing you.”

  “Babe,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine. “You’re sorely underestimating me. I’m like cling wrap. Once I care, you’d need to murder me to get me to let you go. I consider it my superhuman trait. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I shuddered in his arms, and he shifted us so I was even closer to him. He ran his hands up and down my back, going to my hips and holding me in place. “Something else where you and I are different was today. You thought we broke up, and to me, I just heard you asking for some space. I gave you an hour before I started looking for you, and look at me. I was waiting for you to call and either yell at me, or I don’t know. I was just waiting for you, because no matter how I get your attention, it’s all like sunshine to me. You being here. You texting me. You getting mad at me. You yelling at me. I’m okay with it because it’s you. You’re my fuzzy dandelion.”

  “What?”

  “A fuzzy dandelion. You know those flowers. They’re fuzzy and you blow on them to grant you a wish. That’s you. You’re my wish.”

  I couldn’t. Laughter bubbled up inside of me. “They’re a weed and they’re so hard to get rid of.”

  “Then maybe I’m your fuzzy dandelion. I like them the most when they’re fuzzy. They’re the wish granters. The yellow ones are pretty too. You can be the yellow dandelions, my sunshine in a flower, and I’ll be the fuzzy ones. See. We’re not so different. We’re perfect for each other. We’re the same flower.”

  He was grinning so wide, thinking he was so smart.

  “The same weed?”

  “I’m the weed. You’re the flower.”

  I shook my head because he was getting it wrong. He was the flower right with me. And I could just imagine all the dandelions he’d find for me from now on, but I’d love it. I let out a soft sigh and settled back against him. “I love you.”

  He got all serious. “I love you too. But do me a favor?”

  “What?”

  “I am predicting that we’re going to have a long future of times where you’re going to get mad at me because I’ve done something stupid because I just do that at times. You’re going to call on the girls, and they’re going to swoop you up and you might even declare you’re done with men. But if you do that, remember that I’m your dandelion. Pretty to look at it, but always there. And when you calm down and start missing your fuzzy dandelion, you call me, and I’ll come running. I’m not going anywhere, but also, don’t take this in a scary way because I’m a dandelion. I’m not a stalker. I’m thinking about the words I’m using and want to clarify that. Weed. Not stalker.”

  “The wish flower. Got it.” I fought back my own laugh. “This is the time when you can shut up and kiss me.”

  His whole body sagged in relief. “Ava, I’m wishing you’ll let me kiss you for the rest of your life.”

  I leaned forward and my mouth found his.

  It was way later when the thought came to me, and why it hadn’t before? I’d never know.

  “You hacked Jarrod, didn’t you?”

  His arms tightened around me. We were in bed. “I might’ve.”

  “Simple cyberstalking, my ass.”

  He chuckled, but moved in closer to me, nuzzling the back of my throat. “Anything for you, Ava. I was already falling for you.”

  I laced our fingers. “Love you.”

  He brushed a kiss against my forehead. “Always, Ava. Always.”

  EPILOGUE

  AVA

  We were at the Fallen Crest Bingo Hall a few weeks later, and why we were there? Because Zeke picked it for our date night. We’d started a routine since he liked to say that we were somewhat married, since we lived together, and since the whole living together was totally working out. It was great. Almost unnervingly so.

  Zeke was Zeke. He was happy. Supportive. Loving. Loyal. And sweet. So very sweet and romantic, and I didn’t know how to handle it sometimes when he laid out fresh dandelions next to my morning coffee and that was on mornings when I had an early shift at the stables. So yeah. Things were going well, but Zeke insisted we have “date nights.” He’d said, “We need to keep it fresh and spicy,” and because he had read on an online marriage and therapy website that scheduling regular dates helped “to get away,” he had decided that was what we needed.

  “It never hurts to start great routines. Habit, baby. Our dates will be routine and a part of what we need to keep sane in this cycle we call life. You pick two and I’ll pick two.”

  This was Zeke’s pick tonight. Fallen Crest Bingo Hall.

  When we’d first walked in, Zeke stopped and grinned at me. “Please tell me you didn’t work here back in the day?”

  I laughed but shook my head. “No. Though, I did volunteer here one time and never again.”

  He raised his eyebrows.

  “Let’s just say they can be ruthless here.”

  Now he frowned.

  We were set up toward the back of the room, both of us with three cards in front of us. Zeke made sure we were on the end, but he wouldn’t tell me why. He just kept laughing, almost giggling to himself. A lady surrounded herself with crystals in front of us. Another had trolls to the left of us. And behind us, a guy had thirty gnomes set up on the end of his table. All had stone cold sober expressions. They meant business. Then there was a table of teenagers on the other side of the aisle, all giggling and being hushed by the others. And a table of college students not far from them. I didn’t think they were together since one group refused to look at the other. Plus, the high schoolers had Fallen Crest Public letterman jackets while the other table had a couple people wearing Cain University apparel. I didn’t know what they were doing in Fallen Crest, but they were here.

  Zeke’s phone lit up, and his smile stretched as he took it. “Kade.”

  I could hear a low murmur on the other end.

  Zeke leaned back, resting his arm over the back of my chair, and kicked his legs out in front of him. One ankle crossed the other. “We’re in the back. Go in and aim right. You’ll see us behind the Crystal Lady.”

  His phone went dark, and he put it in his pocket before glancing my way.

  He was planning something. He could barely hold back his glee. I raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing.” But his lips pressed together, and he was trying to hold back laughter.

  “Zeke.” I looked around but didn’t see anyone coming our way. “Who’s coming in here? Kade?”

  “You’ll see.” His shoulders were almost shaking.

  I knew about the Kades. Mason and Logan Kade. One needed to, well, not live in Fallen Crest to not know about them, so everyone knew about Mason and Logan Kade. Two brothers who ruled their school and this town. And Samantha Strattan, who moved in with them and fell in love with Mason. The stories were long and probably dramatized over the years, but they were legends. Samantha was best friends with my boss and was still tight with Heather, so yeah, I knew them. Knew of them, knew them, it was somewhat the same deal for me because I kept out of their proximity. I was on the outskirts and had no interest wading in. They operated on a whole different level than I ever wanted to be a part of. They were powerful, but with power came danger and both Kade brothers were known to be dangerous. And from their best friends, who were connected to Blaise, who was connected to Zeke, I considered Zeke “in there” with them. But thinking that, I didn’t think he was so close to the actual Kades themselves so I wasn’t too worried. But then Logan Kade took Zeke’s case when he was arrested…