I groaned, a carnal need exploding in me, and I had to have more.

  Had to.

  I needed it like air.

  He reached up, cradling my face as he pulled his head back, searching me. He saw something there that made him groan, and his mouth was on mine. He wasn’t soft. He was hard, and I wanted that.

  Mouth to mouth. I tried to devour him as he was trying to devour me.

  Pleasure coursed through my body, filling me up.

  I was scrambling, trying to push up his body because I was blind to anything but him.

  An ache was deep inside of me as we kissed.

  His tongue slid inside, claiming me. I let him. I was claiming him back.

  God. Please.

  This. So much of this. More.

  Ignoring his jacket and shirt, I reached for his jeans and undid the button.

  He stilled, his mouth leaving mine, but his head bent next to mine, and I felt his breath on my neck.

  I kept working, undoing his zipper and I reached inside, finding him already hard and straining against my touch.

  He groaned as I wrapped my hand around him and began stroking him. “Fuck, that feels good.”

  I was beyond words. My head rested on his shoulder as I kept working him. He held me until he stifled a curse, and then he batted my hand away.

  I cried out, protesting.

  He shifted again, this time he yanked my jeans and pulled them down, stepping on them to push them the rest of the way. Once they were clear, I was being lifted higher for him.

  My legs wound around him.

  Then he was there, his cock at my entrance, and he surged inside.

  We both paused at the feel.

  I moaned as he cursed under his breath. “Goddammit.” His hand flexed, one cupping my ass and the other bracing us against the wall. “I can’t go gentle. I can’t—tell me that’s okay. Jesus, Ava. Tell me that’s okay.”

  “It’s okay.” I gasped just as he began to move inside me.

  He went hard, surging in, sliding out, and sheathing himself right back inside of me.

  Fuck.

  It was intense. There was nothing smooth about this sex, but I loved it. Wave after wave of pleasure was crashing down on me.

  He held me up, and I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist as he pounded me.

  I saw stars when I came.

  10

  AVA

  The next morning, my phone rang and it was the call.

  Come to the nursing home because Grandmum was going. I rolled over in Zeke’s bed, dressed, and didn’t say a word. When I came out of the bathroom, he was dressed as well and waiting for me.

  He drove me to the nursing home.

  I went into the room and sat, holding Grandmum’s hand and my mom’s. I had no idea how long we sat there, but it felt like time stopped. A vacuum settled around us. It was only us, only what we were going through, and that was all that mattered. The other world kept going, but I ceased paying attention to it.

  Me. Mom. Grandmum.

  Until Grandmum left.

  Zeke drove me places. He brought me food. He was in the background, always there.

  My mom noticed him, but she never asked, and he never made a fuss to be introduced.

  Grandmum already had everything planned ahead of time, so the funeral was small. A few neighbors came. Some of my mom’s friends. But Grandmum had kept to herself. She had no siblings, and my mom didn’t either, like me.

  Zeke didn’t go to the funeral. He asked if I wanted him there, but I didn’t. I just wanted it small. I wanted to hold my mom’s hand the whole time, so that’s what I did.

  It was a week after that when Mom’s move was final.

  A month later when the house was sold.

  I had people who checked on me. My bosses from Manny’s. My bosses from the horse stable. My colleagues from both places. Roy even called. There were still others, some people who thought kindly of me from high school. Two of my community college classmates. Flowers and food were sent, but now I was in my apartment and it was my first night.

  My first night being alone.

  I couldn’t handle it.

  11

  ZEKE

  Ava: Wanna come over?

  “Dude.” Blaise sat down in the chair next to me, spying my phone. “Who’s that? You got a new girl?”

  I shot him a grin but responded to Ava first.

  Me: What’s up?

  I was very aware of my best friend watching me while I was waiting for her response. He didn’t get back that often. His schedule playing for one of Hungary’s football clubs didn’t give him a lot of time in the off-season. But he was here, and I got to hang out with him, so we were making the most of it. A night at the house, drinking, playing FIFA, and planning on doing whatever. I loved my boy. Any time spent with him was good for my bro-soul.

  But this was Ava.

  Ava: Nothing. It’s cool. I’ll see you at Manny’s later.

  I frowned because Ava didn’t call or text. She didn’t ask me to come over.

  Pushing up from the chair, I hit dial on my phone and went into the other room.

  Her dial tone sounded before it went to voicemail.

  “It’s Zeke. Tell me what’s going on. Call me back.”

  “Holy shit.” Blaise stood in the doorway to the living room, his thirty-two ouncer in hand. “I have never heard you talk to anyone like that, with that tone of voice. Who the fuck are you and what have you done to my best friend?”

  I shot him a grin, but I knew it was distracted, and I hit re-dial.

  It went straight to voicemail.

  Something was wrong. I felt it in my gut.

  “Can you do me a favor?”

  Blaise took a step backward. “Now I’m even more alarmed. You look concerned, and I swear, the last time I saw this look on your face was when you thought I was going to do something to land both of us in prison.”

  I grunted.

  My best friend was smart and had hawk-like observation. He’d already deduced someone on the phone was important to me, and he’d know within one phone call who it was. That could blow me up or Ava up, and I didn’t know if she wanted that. We’d had sex once. The next morning, her life had shattered and well… Why the fuck was I still standing here?

  “I gotta go.”

  “About time you make that decision.”

  I ignored him, looking for my wallet and keys. We’d just started drinking, so I was still good to drive. “That was…uh—” Where were my keys?

  I heard them jangling as Blaise held them up in the air. He dropped his act, getting all serious. “I know who that was. I know what’s been happening in her life, and yeah, you dumbfuck, get your ass over there.” He tossed them my way and I caught them, but I half-glared at him.

  I started for the door.

  “Zeke.”

  I turned back.

  He said, a somewhat sad smile on his face, “People care about her.”

  I reached for the doorknob, and my hand squeezed it tight. “She doesn’t think anyone cares about her.”

  “Then you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

  Damn. I loved him for a reason. “Thanks, man.” I’d never told him about Ava, but he knew somehow.

  He took a long pull from his beer. “Go. No. Wait. Hold up.”

  “What?” I half-snarled.

  He smirked, laughing. “People care about you too, dumbshit.”

  I snorted. “Love you, man.”

  “Love you too.”

  I was out of there after that.

  12

  AVA

  I was in the bath when I heard an abrupt knocking, then shouting, then a crash, then a stampede as someone was running in my apartment. I gasped, starting to jump up just as the footsteps arrived at the bathroom. The door flung open, and Zeke was there, his eyes wild and panicked.

  We both stopped in shock, but I remembered I was almost standing up, in my bath, and I was naked. Yes, we’d had sex, but that was in the throes of hotness. Me in the bath, not so much hotness happening here.

  I dropped back down, thankful for going crazy with the bubbles, and scowled at him. “What are you doing here? Did you kick in my door?”

  “Uh yeah. I owe you a door, but it’s okay for now.” He was scanning the room, raking a hand through his hair. He didn’t answer right away.

  “What are you looking for?”

  “Booze. I don’t know.” Not seeing any, his eyes jerked back to me. The wildness had not dissipated. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes! I’m in the bathtub.” I was seething, embarrassed, and happy he came over. How messed up was I? “What are you doing here?”

  He stepped inside, moving to sit on the closed toilet. He leaned forward, but he wasn’t watching me. I could relax a little, moving farther back. He said, “You never text me or call.”

  I bit down on my bottom lip. Why was my heart skipping a little here? “That’s fine. I was…” Terrified. Feeling crazy. “Bored.”

  His eyes shot to mine and narrowed. “You’re lying.”

  I looked away.

  “Look.” I could hear him shifting so he could see me more fully. “Blaise is in town. That’s the only reason I didn’t race over immediately, but you sent that one text, and I was already here. If that makes sense?”

  It had me feeling a certain way. A good way.

  I moved the water around a little. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your bromance time with Blaise DeVroe. I know how much you love him.”

  I risked a look and saw the slight grin on his face. His eyes were firmly trained on where my breasts were located under the water. I sank a little lower, and his gaze jumped back to my face. His grin just widened. “He told me to get my ass over here.”

  I almost hiccupped. “What?”

  “Huh?” His gaze went back to my boobs.

  “Zeke!”

  “Yeah?” His gaze never moved.

  “Your best friend knows about you and me?” And also, what did he know? Thinking on it, what was there even to know?

  “I guess. Screw it.” He stood, taking out his phone, his wallet, and his keys. He put them all on the bathroom counter. His shoes and socks were next.

  “What are you doing?”

  “That’s a big tub.” His pants came off.

  “Zeke!”

  His shirt, and whooooooaaaaa… Zeke worked out. Zeke worked out a lot. He was fully muscled, and his stomach was all sorts of hard. I had not fully appreciated his physique during the one time we had sex or the hugs or even the cuddling we did that night. My mouth was salivating because I was all sorts of appreciating it now.

  He was in the tub in the next second, and I half-shrieked, scooting back as far as I could. It was a big tub, but not that big. Before I could move any more, he reached over, took hold of my waist, and I was lifted in the air, and then he maneuvered us so I was between his legs, my back to his chest, and I could sink down in the water.

  Oooooh.

  This was… This was amazing, and relaxing, and then his hand began moving over my leg and I was burning up from a whole different reason. “Zeke!”

  He chuckled right behind my ear, and even that, with his baritone, sent sensations through me. I didn’t know how to handle this, any of this.

  “This is way better.” He moved again, and I felt him press a kiss to the back of my neck. He began pouring water over me as he kept kissing my neck, his hands beginning to stroke over me at the same time.

  If my grandmum were alive and if my mom were still living with me in the house, and this had happened, I would’ve considered this day heaven. And at the reminders of all the changes in my life, I tensed.

  Zeke lifted his head. “What’s wrong?”

  I sighed, settling back into him. “I wanted you to come over because this is my first night here. I’ve never not lived with someone—”

  His arm muscles bulged, on both arms. He asked, cutting in roughly, “Do you like it?”

  “What?”

  “Do you like living alone?”

  “I haven’t experienced it. I can’t answer that.”

  “Move in with me.”

  “What?!” I jerked forward and twisted so I could see him.

  As I was learning, Zeke just took care of the problem.

  He lifted me up, in all my naked gloriousness, and flipped me around so as I came back down, I was fully straddling him. We both paused at the feeling of him against me, but then I leaned back. “I just moved in here.”

  He shrugged, his gaze skirting from my mouth to my arm. He began tracing circles on my sides. “You don’t like living alone. I didn’t know that was the issue.” His gaze moved to my eyes. He was somber, almost earnest. “I have that huge house. You could take an entire floor if you want. The basement is renovated to be its own living space. You could have that or the second floor. I don’t care. I don’t really like living alone either.”

  I didn’t say anything for a moment. “Are you serious?”

  He nodded. “I’m always around people, or most of the time. High school, I was always partying. College, I was either at the frat house or I was with Blaise or his brother’s group. I bought this house a year ago, and I get it. It sucks living alone. Move in. You can be my roommate.”

  “You are serious.”

  A second nod, and his mouth moved into a serious line. “Sex or not, you’d be the perfect roommate. And I mean that. If we’re not having sex, that’s cool.”

  “I just moved in. I paid for the first month and I signed a lease.”

  He leaned back, a cocky smirk appearing. “I know a lawyer. He’ll break your lease before he’s even had breakfast.”

  I didn’t know who he was talking about, but I was surprised and kinda not at the same time. I let out a short laugh.

  “What?”

  I shook my head. “You’re flashy. I’m not. You live in the fast lane, and me, I’m a tortoise in the slow lane. Sometimes I forget what your life is like when you’re with me.”

  “Ava.”

  He sounded so serious.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’re clueless about how many people care about you. I don’t know if I should find it adorable or concerning. Or both.”

  I tensed but shook my head. He was being his crazy self right now.

  “How about it?” His hand went to the back of my neck, and as he pulled my head toward his, his hand slid up into my hair. He cupped the back of my head. “Wanna be my roommate?”

  My breath caught and held in my chest. That was nuts. Me in Zeke’s huge mansion? “You bought that place?”

  He nodded, leaning even farther. “Yep. With my own money. No inheritance, nothing from my folks. I think it drove my dad crazy but made him hella proud at the same time. My house is almost as big as theirs.”

  “What do you do for a job? We’ve actually never had this conversation.”

  “I do stocks. I’m a math genius, but no one knows that, and I’m really good at stocks.”

  I remembered his place.

  He was grinning again, eyeing my mouth. “How about it? Roommate?”

  I groaned, but I must’ve made the decision because the resistance was gone.

  I’d lived my life a certain way for so long. Living with Zeke, no matter what came, was going to be something so different, I was thinking I was desperate for that change.

  “This is insane.”

  “But?” He looked up, his eyes were dancing. “We can even give the house a name. Aveke. Ava and Zeke together. How about it?”

  “But.” Oh God. I just moved in. “You have to help me move my stuff.”

  “I know some people.” And as soon as he said those words, his mouth was on mine.

  My eyes opened. 3:33 a.m. Zeke had fallen asleep next to me.

  I had absolutely no idea what we were doing. I curled up next to Zeke, and he reached for me in his sleep. He tucked me into his side. Sex? Roommates? Were we dating? I hadn’t a clue, but I smiled, and my chest felt lighter, and for the first time in a while, I felt the first stirrings of being okay.

  I could start to like this a whole lot. I’d worry later if this was either going to shatter me or heal me.

  13

  AVA

  The next morning, he was gone, and I suddenly needed to do something. Anything. I half contemplated running, but I wasn’t an exerciser. I was a worker. I worked. That’s almost all I did, which was very, very sad now that I was thinking about it.

  Getting up, showering, I got ready for the day and headed to the kitchen.

  The door was on, and it looked attached, but there was definite damage to it. Zeke had said he’d take care of it, so I wasn’t going to stress about it. Yet. Instead, I was going to stress about how he said he wanted me to move in with him.

  I couldn’t believe he actually meant it. He hadn’t. He’d been lying. Just saying things.

  God.

  Zeke hadn’t been lying. He hadn’t been saying things. He meant it.

  I was going to move in with him.

  I was scared if I thought about it, I’d pop like a balloon. A giant Ava-sized balloon. It was starting to rise, looking for the sunshine, smiling, feeling the warmth, and some eight-year-old would come running up and not just to prick the balloon. He’d yank me down, and squeeze, squeeze, squeeeeeze until I popped. Then he’d discard me and run off, laughing because he’d given the world some of his destruction. Joy.

  That would happen. I was just waiting for it, but on the bright side, I could enjoy the ride until that happened.

  Right?

  I wasn’t the type to “enjoy the ride.” I was the type that if someone was going on a ride, and if their ride went off the rails, I was the bystander that would get hit by the ride. Not them, whoever was in the ride. They’d be fine and dandy. I’d be dead. That was me. That’s what would happen. So if it was my ride?

  I shuddered at the thought of what I couldn’t imagine would happen.