I pick up the black book from the floor and

  open it. I read what he has written and it

  seems like an activity log of my every move.

  This confirms that Shola has been watching

  me. What also confirms it are the black

  binoculars sitting by the window facing all the

  way down Mulberry Lane.

  “Ryan Milligan leaves No. 2 Mulberry Lane at

  23:40.

  He returns at 2:48, limping slightly and his

  white shirt covered in blood.”

  205

  I flick through the pages, reading the time

  lapses and all my activities.

  “Ryan leaves No. 5 staggering, presumably

  after a night with Simon and Sandra Cann. He

  stumbles up to his pathway and collapses for

  2 minutes. He then rises up off the ground

  and walks away from his house.

  He returns at 4:00, going straight into his

  house.”

  That makes me think back to that time.

  When I left the Cann’s, I did stumble home

  and I did collapse. I remember that, but I do

  not remember coming back round after

  collapsing. Shola has written that I got up and

  went back out but I do not remember this at

  all.

  I continue to read…

  “I follow Ryan to a street around the corner

  from Mulberry Lane. He has stolen a Vauxhall

  Astra, 06 plate. He stole it from one of his

  blonde victims who I do not know the

  identity of.

  He sits in the car and stares at the house of

  the married couple Nick and Ella Browne.

  As he watches Ella walk up to the house, he

  leans forward in his car. Nick answers the

  door and Ella walks inside.

  After a moment, Ryan follows them; he goes

  up to the front door. He pauses as he tries to

  walk in through the front. He runs down the

  206

  porch steps and around the back of the house.

  Momentarily I lose him but as I wait, I hear

  screams from inside the house and I call the

  police.”

  I read this entry more than once and this is

  definitely the house that Sandra and I went to.

  Shola watched me kill Ella and Nick? I did

  not do this; I do not remember doing this at

  all, why would Shola make all of this up?

  I flick through more pages and come to the

  most up to date page, dated today…

  “Ryan,

  I know what is going to happen. You think

  that I am evil when I’m not. I have been

  watching you for a long time, even before you

  moved here.

  There are things you need to know and you

  need to discover them for yourself.

  You may kill me but I have people who are

  aware of you, they will track you down and

  kill you for me.

  You are a murderer. You are the murderer

  who killed all those blonde women and

  anyone else who got in your way.

  You will want answers about Liam Graynnil

  and whatever else you know but let me tell

  you something, you may have killed Don and

  you may have killed me but there are still

  people out there who want your head. You

  better watch your back Ryan or should I call

  207

  you Liam – Yes that’s right, you’re Liam

  Graynnil.

  See you in hell,

  Shola”

  I stare at the last message from Shola and

  wonder what the fuck is going on. I’m Liam?

  Don implied that also, there is no way I am

  this Liam Graynnil, they must be lying, they

  must be setting me up for some reason but at

  least I know that Liam Graynnil is the

  murderer and he is out there with the other

  people who Shola and Don were working

  with.

  I’m still confused… why they have targeted

  me?

  I’m just a normal guy who’s been searching

  for his wife and kids for four years, it doesn’t

  make sense.

  I look out the front to see two figures

  looking in through the window into Shola’s

  house. I take a glance at everything to see if

  there is anything else, I don’t think there is,

  well I hope not.

  I run out to the back and barge the back door

  open.

  I run out into the garden and into the

  woodland behind Shola’s house. I pause,

  hiding within the trees and the shadows

  staring at Shola’s house.

  208

  A figure walks around the side of Shola’s

  house and into his back garden. The figure

  holds a torch and what looks to be a gun.

  Another figure comes out from inside Shola’s

  out of the back door. He looks to the other.

  As the figures stare at each other, one of

  them runs back down the side of the house

  and the other walks back inside. I pause for a

  moment and come out from the trees. As I

  stand on the open grass, the figure runs out

  from inside the house and runs down the side

  of the house and down the road.

  I take steps towards Shola’s house. I reach

  the fence surrounding his back garden, as I

  look into his house, the house suddenly

  explodes.

  The heat is scorching even from this distance.

  The roof lifts off the house and clatters back

  down onto it knocking the walls down and

  completely destroying everything inside it. I

  land awkwardly on my shoulder with my legs

  akimbo. The wet grass soaks my back

  instantly through my jacket.

  I push myself up off the ground and run. I’ve

  got to get out of here, that explosion would

  have woken everyone up not just on Mulberry

  Lane but the surrounding area.

  I run down the side of the blistering flames as

  they flicker into the night sky. I reach the road

  and sprint.

  I cannot be seen, if I am, I will be the main

  suspect. With the blue lights still circulating at

  the park and through the tree line, they would

  have most certainly heard the explosion and

  209

  they probably saw it. I must have only

  seconds until they come around the corner.

  I’m able to reach the Cann’s and run inside. I

  shut the door, without slamming it. I listen to

  see if they did hear it and they sure did. I hear

  mumbling and movement upstairs.

  I pull my jacket off and hang it up and then

  slip my boots off and jump into the couch. I

  shut my eyes and hear the stomps of bare feet

  walking around upstairs. I hear the movement

  towards their bedroom window and then both

  of them running across the landing and down

  the stairs.

  “Shola’s house is on fire.” Simon says.

  They both run past me and go outside.

  “I hope he’s okay.” Sandra says.

  I stand up and step out onto the drive to

  watch the policemen running down the street

  towards Shola’s.

  I look over to Paul’s house, Paul, his wife and

  two kids are all staring at Shola’s house.

  A police car speeds across to the house.

  Sam’s Mercedes arrives moments later. I hear

  men shouting: “Get back, stay back.”

  I see Sam stand in Shola’s front garden

  looking hopelessly at it. I walk up to Sandra

  and Simon.

  “Jesus! I wonder what happened there?” I

  say.

  “I don’t know but there’s no way he’s alive.”

  Simon says.

  “Oh God poor man, maybe it’s to do with

  the blonde murders?” Sandra wonders.

  210

  “No course not darling. It’s more likely a gas

  leak and explosion: don’t worry about it. We

  should probably go back inside though, I

  don’t expect Sam would want us poking our

  noses into it,” Simon says as he puts his arm

  around Sandra. “Come on.”

  They both walk back into the house and I

  follow them.

  We stand in the sitting room in silence.

  “Tea or coffee?” I say out loud.

  “Nothing for me I’m going back to bed.”

  Simon says.

  “And so am I.” Sandra says, staring at the

  ground.

  “Okay, well night then.”

  Sandra doesn’t say a word, she walks back

  upstairs and Simon strolls to the stairs. He

  puts one foot on the first step and looks back

  at me.

  “Bit odd, all this is going on, in Surrey

  especially. But even more importantly on

  Mulberry Lane. It’s like a soap.” Simon says,

  shaking his head. “Anyway see you in the

  morning mate.”

  “Yeah see you tomorrow.” I say.

  He disappears up the stairs and I sit down on

  the sofa, confused as to what is going on.

  Maybe I need to read this book by Liam

  Graynnil to understand more what is

  happening and what has happened.

  I pull out the book and begin to skim read. I

  read the first few chapters again when Lizzie

  and the kids disappear. I re-read the first few

  211

  deaths, a nervous quiver pulses through my

  body. They’re saying I committed these

  murders and did all of this. Daniel is being

  hunted in the book by this group because they

  believe he harmed Lizzie and the kids? Is

  Daniel me or Liam Graynnil or both?

  I begin to read the book, imagining myself.

  Daniel is me.

  Killing For Your Love

  Chapter 8

  I stand in a house where I believe Lizzie has been

  coming to before she disappeared.

  The house is located on a cul-de-sac with no

  owner currently living here. He’s been missing

  for some time now, just as long as Lizzie has

  been gone for.

  It’s located on a slope with a gravel path leading

  up towards the front porch. I stand in the open

  hallway and smell the muskiness marking the

  abandonment. Where did this man go? I know

  who he is; I have come across him before in his

  line of work. Andrew Myers.

  He knows me very well and my family, Lizzie

  and he have a bond, a very strong bond.

  Sometimes, I would watch Lizzie walk in here

  and I would look through the windows to see

  what they’re doing. But I could never see them;

  they were always too busy upstairs.

  212

  I pause and stare at the description of Lizzie

  and Andrew Myers. This piece is about my

  house, the house that I bought.

  It’s peculiar that I or Graynnil have used real

  names for real people. Don and Andrew

  Myers have been used without a pseudonym

  whereas I’m ‘Daniel’, Tanya must be ‘Lizzie’

  but why?

  I have been in the house before, I knew

  Andrew Myers, I do not remember any of this

  whatsoever.

  It makes sense for me to have been in my

  house before; I had a link with it, that’s why it

  all seemed so familiar. When I walk down into

  the basement it seems like I have been doing

  it for a lifetime.

  But this could be the reason that Tanya left

  me, was it for another man? The thought

  sickens me, I begin to retch. How could she?

  I continue to read.

  I walk down into the basement and switch on

  the light. It has been ripped apart down here; the

  wall across from the stairs has been knocked

  down but is covered with a fake wall.

  I pick up the black metal box on the basement

  table and walk back upstairs into the living

  room. I place the box in there and walk back out

  into the hallway. I shut the door and go towards

  the front door until I hear the crunching of the

  path.

  213

  I look out the side window next to the door to see

  a middle-aged man walking up to the front door

  holding a set of house keys.

  I sprint to the basement door and shut myself in.

  I stand behind the door and listen. The latch of

  the door clunks and I feel the breeze from outside

  squeeze in under the basement door and onto my

  ankles. I hear the door slam and footsteps.

  He walks past me towards the garage and then

  back, his shadow makes the basement darker. The

  light evaporates from the crack under the door. I

  think he’s about to enter.

  He grabs the handle but so do I. I use my

  strength to counter his. He pulls on the handle,

  grunting and moaning.

  “Fucking thing.” He says.

  I keep a hold of the handle with both hands,

  pulling the handle up.

  Eventually he gives up and walks away.

  I open the basement door, slowly. I poke my head

  out of the door and look into the sitting room,

  but he’s not there, he must be in the kitchen.

  As I look out, I hear footsteps upstairs: even

  better.

  I step out and shut the door without any sound.

  I go to the front door and open it slowly, luckily I

  escape without being seen.

  The man going into the house must be

  Simon; it couldn’t be anyone else except Mike

  the estate agent.

  I remember Simon telling me that the

  basement door locks on its own, there was me

  thinking the house was haunted.

  214

  I stare at the book and throw it aside. I have

  so much to search for now. The black metal

  box, that’s the one that is locked, I need to get

  into that. The knocked down wall in the

  basement, what is that about?

  I walk over to my jacket pockets and pull out

  the FOX CAM videos. I need to see these,

  they’ll confirm everything.

  I go to the Cann’s TV and kneel down to

  their DVD player. I press the eject button and

  out slides the CD tray. I place CD FOX CAM

  1 into the player. The Player drones and the

  fans within the player blow out warm air.

  The TV flickers and on comes poor-quality

  camera footage in the dark in some woodland.

  The footage is of trees and hanging vines. The

  camera is moving and appears to be strapped

  to the fox’s neck. I can’t believe that Shola

  actually used foxes to film me. He must have

  trained them like you would a dog with

  persistent treats and my scent to follow me I

  suppose.

  I watch what the fox sees as it’s trotting

  through the woodland and then there’s a

  figure amongst the trees. There’s an outline of

  somebody wearing a jacket, looking through

  the woodlands, high-kneed strutting around

  the woods, stepping over fallen branches and

  tree trunks. The image becomes clearer as the

  fox follows the figure through the shadows.

  I fast forward the CD until I get to a part

  with light to see if the figure is me. As the

  footage moves out of the woodland and out

  215

  into a road, I press play and continue to watch

  the footage.

  The figure looks like me. He’s wearing my

  green jacket, black trousers and boots and

  even driving around in a Vauxhall.

  I press pause, it must be me, same physicality

  and same clothing. The image is grainy and

  unclear but I can tell that it is me.

  I pause and stare at the screen in disbelief. I

  can’t believe it.

  I fast forward more and I recognise the

  street, it’s the big white American-style house,

  where Sandra’s friends Ella and Nick lived.

  The stolen Vauxhall is parked on the road in

  front of the house next to the footpath. The

  footage shows me getting into the car to

  presumably watch the house. The camera

  shows Ella walking along the pavement. She

  walks up to the door. Her blonde hair

  bounces with each step she takes. She wears a

  tight fitted black dress which is cut halfway up

  her thigh. She steps under the porch and

  knocks on the door. Her hand knocks against

  the door with the sound delayed.

  Nick answers and Ella enters. I continue to

  watch, all the lights switch off in the house

  and the upstairs ones switch on.

  At that point, I get out of the car and stare at

  the house as I march up to it. The fox moves

  from behind a car along to another car along

  the street. On the footage, I turn to a

  staggering old man. I pause and then walk up

  to the porch and try the door. I then go

  216

  around the back of the house and at that