The server reappeared, settling down two vanilla milkshakes in front of the women. Clair took a sip, savoring the thick, milky liquid. “So, what are you going to do with your time o ?”

  Eve took a long slurp of her beverage before answering.

  “Um, I’m not really sure. I-I…went through a breakup earlier in the year, and this will be my first Christmas alone in three years.” Eve continued to stare at her glass, poking her straw

  around the creamy drink. She then smiled wearily at Clair. “I have a wonderful cat named Peaches. I was thinking of putting him in a Santa hat and getting buzzed on cookies and wine.”

  Oh wow, she is recently single! Clair wanted to hide her happiness, so instead, she consoled Eve. She was also curious to learn more. She wondered if Eve was looking to date anyone or if she was keeping any potential romantic interests at arm’s length.

  “Oh, I am so sorry, Eve.” Clair couldn’t help herself as she reached out to touch Eve’s elbow from across the table. “If you don’t mind me asking, how long has it been? Like, since the breakup?”

  “We broke up in July, so it’s been six months. I am honestly over her—it’s okay. I wouldn’t say that we are friends exactly, but as far as breakups go, it was more or less amicable.” Eve shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “I think we were just growing apart. And once I started the final exams in the nursing program, I just didn’t make the time, I guess.” Eve looked at Clair with sad, brown eyes. “She cheated on me, but in hindsight, I don’t blame her. It’s cool; I’m not angry anymore. I’m just unsure about what to do with the most coveted two days of the year.” Eve punctuated her last comment with a rueful laugh.

  Clair remained silent for a moment before she decided to ask the obvious. She couldn't help herself; she really wanted to know. Even though Eve had mentioned that her previous partner was a woman, Clair wanted to be certain. Carefully, she spoke, “So, you mentioned that your ex was a she. I'm sorry if it sounds like I am prying; I am just curious. Are you a lesbian?”

  Eve nodded and grinned. “Yup, I am a big old dyke, alright!” Eve then looked down at herself and touched her hair. “Well, maybe more like a tomboy with a splash of

  femme. In fact, I was often mistaken as straight when my hair was long and even now actually, but yes, I am gay.” Eve then gave Clair a sideways glance before asking, “What about you? Are you gay?”

  The tone of Eve's question came o almost like a challenge, as if she was trying to put Clair on the spot. Clair hoped that she hadn't o ended her new friend. “Well, that's an interesting story, actually, but listen, I hope you didn't take my question the wrong way. I was just curious to know more about you.”

  Eve waved her hand, brushing o the comment. “Oh, no, it's fine. I am never o ended if the intention is coming from a good place, and with you, I know it is. But I do like to throw the question back at someone because, well, fair is fair, right?” Eve gave Clair a smirk, and Clair knew that it was her turn to reveal something about herself.

  Chewing on her bottom lip, Clair answered, “Yes, I am. I am also gay. But I came out later in life. In fact, I’m still trying to figure everything out at forty-five years old. Can you imagine?” Clair shook her head and smiled. “I mean, I have been out since I was thirty-eight, so almost ten years, but I was married for eight years to a man before that.”

  Eve's eyes widened with interest. “Oh, wow, seriously?

  Okay, I will be honest, Clair. I did ask you about your orientation to challenge you. I'm sorry, I actually did mistake you for straight, and I thought that if you wanted to ask me about my personal life, I was going to throw it back at you.”

  Eve looked embarrassed. “I'm sorry that wasn't cool, but I am interested in your journey. What happened? How did you come out?”

  Clair took a deep breath. She was hesitant to share specific details, especially about her battles with depression.

  She didn't want to overwhelm or scare Eve o . Hmmm,

  maybe I will just stick to the basics for now until we get to know each other better. If I get a chance, that is!

  “Okay, well, I guess I felt pressured to follow a certain path, and I came from a religious and conservative home. I didn't want to be di erent, you know? I just wanted to be happy, and I thought that if I followed societal standards and married the man I had been dating, that somehow, my life would sort itself out.” Clair paused before continuing.

  Eve's eyes remained glued to Clair's face. “Sure, I can understand. Trust me; my parents were not accepting of me at all. I wouldn't call them conservative, but they definitely followed their religion. I think they believed that God would appear at the bottom of every bottle of liquor,” Eve said bitterly. “But sorry, you were telling your story. Please continue.”

  Clair felt better knowing that Eve understood at least a bit of her struggle. “Okay. Over time, I became more and more depressed until one day I decided to free myself and stop living a lie. It's a long story, but I eventually sought counseling so that I could learn to accept myself, and soon after, my husband and I got a divorce.”

  Eve remarked, “Wow, that must have been tough. Was he angry?”

  Clair shook her head. “No, he was actually pretty supportive. It was best that we parted ways; it wouldn't have been fair to either of us to stay in that marriage, and since we didn't have any children, it made things a bit…easier, I guess.”

  Clair sighed as she reminisced. “I guess like you and your ex, we are amicable. We talk maybe once a year, but otherwise, we have moved on to live our separate lives. But looking back, I’m not sad at all, and I don't regret how my life has unfolded. I'm thrilled to live a life that feels authentic. I guess my only wish is that I wouldn’t have

  waited until my late thirties, but at the same time, I just wasn't ready back then, and that's okay.”

  The server appeared with two burgers and one plate containing french fries. “Can I get you ladies anything else right now?”

  The women shook their heads in unison as they hungrily grabbed the massive buns. The table was quiet for a moment as they enjoyed the first few bites in silence.

  Eve chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. “Wow, Clair. I am impressed. That is pretty brave of you. I think that coming out is a personal thing that people need to do once they are ready. And I’m glad that you found some inner peace and happiness.” Taking her napkin, Eve dotted the corners of her mouth and smiled appreciatively at Clair. “So, what has dating been like for you. Are you single?”

  With her mouth full of food, Clair nodded. Washing down the bites with a cool sip of milkshake, she replied, “I am now! I was casually dating women here and there, but nothing that was too serious. I think my longest romantic situation lasted about eight months. I also went back to school to upgrade my degree, so that took a lot of time.”

  Clair reached for a french fry. “I’m open to a relationship if it happens naturally, but I’m also fine being on my own, too.”

  Clair thought this could be the perfect moment to throw out a piece of information to test the waters. She was feeling incredibly bold, and with her hunger now satisfied, she felt revived. It’s now or never, Clair!

  “Um, I actually have a crush on someone. I don’t know if it will ever go anywhere, but it’s nice to feel excited about liking someone, you know?” Clair looked up from her plate as the corner of her mouth curled into a smile. Her and Eve locked eyes as Eve nodded, taking in this statement.

  Simultaneously, they both reached for the pile of french fries, and their hands brushed against one another.

  Clair saw Eve’s face blush at the touch of her fingertips as she pulled her hand back. Shyly, Eve asked, “That’s cool.

  Anyone I know?”

  Clair bit her lip, trying to hide a smile. Oh, you definitely know her, Eve. Clair picked up a fry and paused dramatically.

  “It’s possible that you might. You know, the community is so small, right?” Feeling flirtatious, Clair then nibbled on her morsel while her gaze remained on Eve.

  5

  Eve felt her body come back to life after swallowing a few satisfying bites of her hamburger. But even the delicious, meaty morsels could not distract Eve from listening to Clair’s coming out story. She was impressed by Clair’s bravery; she could not imagine what it would be like to leave a marriage, and she felt a little guilty for assuming a combative tone at the beginning of their conversation.

  Eve was also excited to know that Clair loved women. She sensed a captivating vibe about Clair, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Over the years and with Abbie’s help, Eve had fine-tuned her gaydar, and she was usually pretty good at her guesses—even the most femme of women. But Clair had surprised her, which strengthened Eve’s attraction. She found herself even more intrigued by this fascinating older woman.

  As soon as Clair revealed that she had a crush on someone, Eve sharpened her focus while her stomach lurched. On the one hand, it was exciting to hear that Clair had feelings for a mystery lady. Part of her brain asked, Could it be me? I definitely sense a spark between us. Maybe she is trying to tell me something? But the more negative side of

  Eve’s subconscious felt dejected. Oh! She already likes someone else. Eve felt torn and a bit crazy with curiosity.

  Licking a few crumbs from her lips, Eve tried to maintain a neutral expression as she listened to Clair. Did she just give me a suggestive look? Why is this so hard to figure out? If Eve were on a regular date with a woman she had only met, she probably would have made the first move, just to see if there was chemistry.

  But in this case, the stakes were much higher. If Eve tested the waters and was rejected, it could ruin their professional relationship, with possible consequences to Eve’s career. She wanted so badly to find out if there was indeed something real between her and Clair, but Eve needed to be patient. If it is me she is talking about, then Clair will need to come to me first. However, that wasn’t to say that Eve couldn’t do a little investigating.

  “Is that so? Well, that is exciting news!” Unwavering, Eve held Clair’s gaze. “So, I’m curious…how do you think I would know this person? I mean, it’s not like I socialize that often.

  Where do they hang out?” Eve enjoyed toying with Clair as she thought to herself, Clair doesn’t even know what I do for fun, within the community. If it’s someone we both know, then it would have to be someone from work!

  Clair shifted her eyes away from Eve and shrugged, “I mean, I was just assuming that as someone who has been out for longer in their life, you and she may have crossed paths.” Eve observed Clair’s face. It looked as though Clair was trying to hide a smile.

  Eve smirked and nodded. Okay, Clair! I don’t know you that well, but I definitely feel like you are hiding something from me. Eve decided to push a little more.

  “Can you at least tell me where you run into her? If she is your crush, then you must see her from time to time, right?”

  Eve felt like a detective, questioning Clair under a hot, bright

  light. She tried to keep her voice casual, hoping to hide her intense wonder.

  Clair let out a nervous laugh. Brushing her hands together, she crumpled up a napkin and tossed it into the plastic burger basket. Folding her hands in front of her, she leaned across the table towards Eve. “Listen, how about we change the subject for now. I’m shy when it comes to these things, and I just don’t want to jinx anything.” Clair sighed and lowered her eyes. “I am not even sure she would like me, so for now, I just want to fly under the radar, okay?”

  Immediately, Eve backed o . The last thing she wanted to do was make Clair feel uncomfortable. Regardless of who the mystery crush was, Eve was enjoying her time with Clair, and she didn’t want to push her away.

  “Okay, cool. That’s fair!” Eve held up her hands in surrender. By this point, both of them had finished their meal. As much as Eve wanted to stay and chat, it was getting late, and she still needed to drive Clair home.

  “This was fun! But I think we should get going now, yes?”

  Eve turned her head to catch the attention of the server.

  “Sure, I need to get home as well. It is getting rather late,” Clair agreed. Clair picked up her jacket while Eve motioned for the bill. The server hurried over to present the check, and right away, Clair threw down her money.

  Upon noticing, Eve began to pull out her wallet, but Clair put her hand up. “No, please. Let me get this.” Eve furrowed her brow, about to reject when Clair shook her head and said with a wink, “It's the least I can do. Consider it payment for driving me home.” Eve smiled, feeling a little charged from Clair's charm.

  “Fine, but next time, burgers are on me, okay?” To Eve's pleasant surprise, Clair nodded in agreement. “Sure, I'd like that!” Eve mentally high-fived herself. Oh, good line, Eve!

  Already setting up for a second hang out. Nice!

  The pair headed out the door as the young waitress waved goodbye. “Thank you for coming to Mallory's! Drive safe; the snow is coming down hard out there.”

  Through the restaurant's glass windows, Eve noticed large, white flakes of snow pouring down from the sky. The diner's outside had been decorated with festive Christmas lights, illuminating a rainbow of colors, which glowed against the white flurry.

  Eve and Clair looked at one another, amazed by the wondrous beauty. Eve remarked, “Isn’t it so pretty? I love this time of year. During the holiday season, I don’t even care that it’s cold outside. I just love the colorful lights and how they seem to glow against the snow.”

  Clair nodded her head as she zipped up her coat. “Oh, yes, me too. Winter is always best at Christmas time.”

  The women bundled up and headed outside into the vast parking lot. They shared a comfortable silence for the first few steps until Clair stopped in her tracks.

  Eve turned to look at Clair. “Hey! What’s up?”

  Clair smiled widely. “I just had an idea.” Facing Eve, she asked, “Since you and I both have Christmas Eve o and since neither one of us have any plans as of yet, I was wondering...would you like to go to see Miracle on 34th Street with me?” Clair then became flustered. “I-I mean, unless something comes up, of course. It was just an idea.”

  Eve could sense Clair’s skittishness, and instantly she knew. Clair was trying to ask Eve on a date. She could tell by Clair’s playful sense of nervousness that this question was more than just a friendly o er. It’s me, isn’t it, Clair? I have a crush on you too. Tell me so that I can tell you how I also feel. Eve’s psyche wanted to scream out to reveal Eve’s desire.

  Eve couldn’t take it anymore. She had to know. She rationalized with herself. Eve, you don’t need to jump her

  bones. Just funnily ask her. If it isn’t you, then you can just brush it o as a joke. But you already know the truth. You just have to get her to admit it. Eve took a step towards Clair and smiled, biting the corner of her lip. She blinked away the large snowflakes that were landing on her lashes.

  “Sure, Clair. I’d love to go to the movie on Christmas Eve.

  That sounds way more fun than staying at home with Peaches. But listen, if you have a crush on me, just say so, girl! I’m a good time, so I wouldn’t blame you!” Eve laughed extra hard to emphasize the hilarity of her statement.

  Clair seemed to freeze, and her eyes blinked. Eve couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Clair looked as the snowflakes decorated her dark hair; her cheeks a rosy hue.

  “Eve, I-I…awesome, cool. I am glad you can join me for the movie, that’s great, um…” Clair stammered and trailed o , obviously struggling with some internal dialogue.

  Suddenly Clair took a deep breath.

  “Eve, I have a crush on you. I’ve liked you ever since you started working at Forest Vale,” Clair blurted out. Taking quicker, shorter breaths, she continued, “It’s totally cool if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want this to ruin our working relationship. And if you want to go to the movies just as friends, that’s fine. I just wanted to tell you, okay?”

  Clair cowered, almost as if she was ready to run away.

  Eve’s heart melted as she soared with happiness. Oh my god, I was right! There is something between us! Eve knew that she couldn’t leave Clair hanging. She wanted to let her know right away that she felt the same.

  Eve took Clair’s bare hands, wrapping them in the woolen mittens. “Clair, I like you too. I feel the same way. I always notice you working at your desk, and I try to find reasons to talk to you. Why do you think I o er to get you co ee all the time?” Together, Eve and Clair laughed with relief.

  “Seriously, I would love to get to know you better, and I want to go to the movies with you on Christmas Eve because I like you and not just as a friend,” Eve assured Clair.

  She stepped closer to Clair and moved her eyes to Clair’s lips. She then looked up into Clair’s eyes and licked the corner of her mouth ever so slightly. Clair’s eyes traveled down towards Eve’s lips. Together, they gently moved into one another, sharing a kiss. Clair’s lips felt soft and cool, like a pillow, as Eve covered her mouth, exuding warm breath.

  Their tongues slowly found one each other’s; wanting to entwine. Their mouths danced together with such familiarity; it was as if they had met before. The kiss was as new and fresh as it was organic and fluid.

  The snow continued to fall in the near-empty parking lot as the women embraced one another under the twinkling lights.

  6

  Clair’s face was starting to feel icy cold and her cheeks were sore from smiling, but she did not want this moment with Eve to end. She couldn’t believe how one sentence—one admission—could change the course of their evening, and the craziest part was that Clair hadn’t even planned on revealing her crush on Eve. But for some reason, the moment felt so right, and the energy between them felt so obvious, that Clair just had to take the plunge.

  Clair felt an overwhelming sense of excitement, combined with nervousness. It was not as though Eve was her first lesbian crush, and since coming out, Clair had enjoyed passionate make-out sessions and even some casual but steamy hook-ups. But compared to the attraction that she felt for Eve, her previous desires now paled in comparison.