Almost as soon as we arrived in Chang’an, the empress began preparing for her return to Peking, so she ordered new clothes to be made for the royal family. I wanted her to arrive back in her capital as the picture of regality, one who would be counted among the greatest monarchs in the world. I started with a smooth, black silk and embroidered it myself with one hundred characters for shou, which means “longevity.” I wanted to emphasize that the empress was now the supreme ruler and was here to stay. I stylized the characters to form circles, representing perfection, completion, and harmony. I even managed to make some of the character strokes look like the Buddha’s seal, both because the empress was a devout Buddhist and because the symbol represented eternity. I embroidered each edge of the robe with a different pattern and embroidered a wide collar that swirled like the wings of a bat around her shoulders for good luck. I kept some of these threads to bring me good luck as well and placed them with the rest of my memory threads.

  Over a year after our flight, my empress and the rest of her court, including myself, began the long journey back to Peking. We left Chang’an as we should have left Peking, with hundreds of carts of luggage, mounted guards, princes, princesses, grandees, and countless eunuchs. It was almost unfathomable how many items we had accumulated in only a year, but almost immediately after our arrival, trunks of gifts and tribute began pouring in from all over the country.

  The procession back to Peking was beautiful. The entire route was decorated with red banners and countless people came out to cheer for the return of the court. The empress couldn’t see it, of course. She was sequestered in her sedan chair because it was against the law for anyone outside the court to glimpse an imperial personage.

  On the first night of the journey, the royal tents were put up and we were able to camp in comfort. That evening, while the empress and I rested by a fire, I told her about all the people who were cheering along her procession. Her eyes watered.

  “You cannot imagine what that means to me,” she said. “All this time, I feared that the grandees and the councilors were just telling me I had the love and support of the people because they thought that is what I wanted to hear.”

  “You don’t need to fear any longer,” I said. “The people are with you.”

  “I failed them so miserably,” she said. “Yet, they still rely on me and need me. This will be a new start. Their trust will not be misplaced again.”

  All along the route, the empress made sure that baskets of food that had been sent to her were given to the people who came to watch the procession. The harvest that year had been poor, so she wanted to show the people that their faith in her as their leader and protector was not misplaced. As the baskets of food were handed out, people shouted, “Long Live the Old Buddha!” Her faith in the Buddha was well-known throughout the country, and the people began to believe she was the embodiment of love and care on Earth. I didn’t have to tell her about the people’s cheers; I knew she heard them.

  It took us only three months to travel back to Peking as opposed to the four months it took us to arrive in Chang’an. For the last section of our journey, we rode in a train! We boarded it in Wuhan. The Boxers had nearly destroyed the railways, but the foreigners, after they occupied Peking, rebuilt it. They also had a royal carriage built to carry her home. Riding on the train was one of the most thrilling moments of my life. I had never moved so fast before. I leaned my head out one of the windows, just for a moment, and felt the wind blow through my hair. The carriage was magnificent, all deep red wood and shantung cushions and chairs. The floor was carpeted, which felt so soft under our feet.

  Finally, we arrived home. I helped the empress dress in her golden longevity robe. Then, she stepped out of the carriage and had to walk several meters to her waiting sedan chair. This may seem a small thing, but it would mean that for a moment, the empress was in full view of the people! I had expected the empress to wear a heavy veil for the occasion and had embroidered one to match her robe. As I tried to hand it to her, though, she waved it away. She stepped out of the carriage to an endless cheering crowd and waved a handkerchief at them. The happy screams from the crowd were deafening. The empress beamed and looked back at me and my, I am sure, shocked face. “I heard that Queen Victoria greeted her people this way,” she said with a laugh. We had received word while in Chang’an that Queen Victoria had died. The empress wept for this woman she had never met. This was her way of paying respect to her fellow queen. I couldn’t help but smile as her other ladies and I then followed her to her sedan chair. Once she was comfortably seated inside, the windows were tied shut and she was carried home.

  Once we arrived at the Forbidden City, the empress, the emperor, the princes and princesses, and the empress’s attendees, myself included, were taken straight to the audience hall. Before our arrival, the empress had sent orders to have the thrones rearranged. The empress’s throne was centered on the dais and raised up several meters. The Dragon Throne was placed slightly in front of the empress’s throne, but to her left and much lower. The empress climbed the stairs and took her rightful place on her throne. Never again would anyone question who ruled China.

  29

  Peking, 1908

  The empress and I were no longer young. Even though I was in good health and the empress was still a strong force at court, no one lives forever. I began to worry about the future of my country, not for myself, but for my daughter and grandson. When the empress was gone, what would their future hold? Where would they go? What would they do?

  My grandson was becoming a regular at court since his return from America. While he was not formally recognized as a prince, everyone knew he was Prince Gong’s grandson. He was smart and handsome and some envied how well-educated and well-traveled he was. The more time he spent at court, the more I began to fear that people would realize that he was Emperor Guangxu’s son, his only son, and the heir to the Dragon Throne.

  Emperor Guangxu was not well. He would take to his bed for days, unable to even deliver his morning greeting to his Papa Dearest. It was as if the young man was wasting away. Worse yet, he had appointed no heir. Should the emperor and empress suddenly die, the empire would be thrown into chaos.

  The empire was changing. The Han were done with being ruled by outsiders, the Manchu. They wanted to control their own destiny. The Wild Fox, still backed by Japan, continued to call for reforms, and his writings were very popular in China. Sun Zhongshan, a Cantonese, traveled around America and Europe trying to rally international support for something called Socialism. As always, there were uprisings and skirmishes in the countryside by unhappy peasants.

  The empress was aware that the tide was turning against Manchu rule. She had put into motion plans for a parliament, but it would take at least another decade to come to fruition. I doubted she would live long enough to see her last grasp at preserving the empire come to pass. Even if she did, who would be the emperor of this parliament?

  The empress had been spending more time with my grandson. She gave him high-ranking appointments and encouraged the grandees to take him under their wings. I had a feeling she was grooming him to be the new heir. I couldn’t let that happen. I had lived in the palace for five decades. I had seen the deaths of two emperors and would most likely see the death of another one soon. I had seen unhappiness, torture, and misery descend on the lives of all who came within the walls of the Forbidden City. I couldn’t let such a future befall my grandson.

  I took a sedan chair to visit my daughter and her son in the city.

  “Mother, have you finally lost your mind?” my daughter asked. “We have a good life here. My shop is prosperous and Arsalan is doing very well at court.”

  “Which is precisely why you and he must leave,” I said. “I fear the empress will name him as her heir.”

  “Which is what she should do,” my daughter snapped. “He is the emperor’s heir.”

  I glanced at my grandson who shifted uncomfortably at this unabashed declaration by his mother.

  “He is the emperor’s son,” I said. “Not his heir. Chinese emperors do not have a clear line of succession as they do in the West. Guangxu could name anyone he wants as heir.”

  “He is a Dragon Prince,” she said. “And he should be acknowledged as such.”

  “Should he?” I asked. “If he was a prince, he would not be able to live here with you. He would not have studied in America or have learned English. He would be married and have a dozen concubines. He would be stuck in the past. He wouldn’t be the smart, modern man who sits here now.”

  “You denied him his birthright,” my daughter yelled. “As you did me!”

  I sighed and leaned back in my seat. I wasn’t going to get into a yelling match with her. Hulan was always a better tiger than I was.

  “Arsalan,” I said, addressing the boy, “you have spent much time in the palace. What do you think? Would you want to be as those princes and grandees? Do you want to be made the heir?”

  “I have thought about it,” he said. “I have many ideas I think would help China in the disaster that is to come.”

  “There,” Hulan said. “You see? He could be the emperor who changes China for the better.”

  “No, Mother,” Arsalan said, raising a hand to stop her from speaking. “I do have many great ideas, but Grandmother Yang is right. The court is still stuck in the past. I don’t think that change in China will come from the throne. I think change will only come from the people, the common man.”

  “You are like those revolutionaries!” Hulan shrieked. “Like that rebel Sun and the Wild Fox! Crazy men who want to overthrow China and kill the empress!”

  “Mother, calm yourself,” he said. “I support the empress and her reforms. But I think she will die before they can result in any real change and that Emperor Guangxu will rescind them. He will try to take us back to feudal days, but the people won’t stand for it. There will be a revolution, Mother. It is only a matter of time. The only person holding the empire together is the empress.”

  “Exactly my point,” I said. “This is why you must leave. War is coming, and I don’t want you caught up in it. What if the Throne is defeated and the people kill the emperor? Like the French? Or like the British have done. When the people revolt, the old leaders die. Sometimes their wives and children too. If they even suspect that Arsalan is connected to the Old Blood, he could end up on the scaffold!”

  “Oh, Mother,” Hulan sighed, exasperated. “You are exaggerating. You are getting paranoid in your old age.”

  “I don’t know,” Arsalan said. “I have learned a lot about the inner workings of the court and the people in charge in recent months. I don’t know if Grandmother Yang’s fears about me being murdered are grounded, but revolution is coming. China will not be safe after the empress dies. And I wonder if, like Sun Zhongshan and the Wild Fox, I could do more good for the country by being on the outside.”

  “You would leave China?” my daughter asked. “You would leave your country, your homeland, in her time of need?”

  “The thought had crossed my mind.”

  “I cannot believe what I am hearing,” my daughter said.

  “I would want you to go with me,” he said. “Both of you. I wouldn’t leave you behind to an uncertain fate.”

  I didn’t respond to that. I wanted to encourage him to leave and didn’t want him to change his mind if he knew I wouldn’t be going with him. As much as I wanted him and my daughter to flee, I couldn’t abandon the empress.

  “Could you leave?” I asked. “Do you have a way out?”

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “That is why I had not considered it too seriously. I went to school in America, all my contacts are there. But because of the Chinese Exclusion Act, I can’t really go there on my own. I was only able to go as a student because anti-Chinese sentiment wasn’t as bad back then and we had to agree to leave after our schooling was done. I can’t simply show up on a boat now and expect to be allowed in.”

  “Ridiculous!” I said. “China and America have always been allies. They have always been the most reasonable of the foreigners.”

  “The American government, like the Chinese government, is not always a reflection of its people. In the past, the American government has welcomed ties with China, but over the decades the people have fought such cooperation.”

  “Idiots,” I mumbled. “Where else could you go? What about England?”

  “I can’t believe I am actually hearing you two plotting our escape from China,” Hulan grumbled. Arsalan and I both ignored her.

  “Legally, England is open to us,” he said. “But it would be a very difficult society to navigate without the right connections, the right introductions. We wouldn’t be able to find a place to live or even a hotel to stay in. And you and Mother would need a lot of help in day to day life since you don’t speak the language.”

  “But you don’t think you have this kind of connection?” I asked.

  Arsalan shook his head. “I have sent inquiries to a few people I know, but I do not feel confident about my prospects.”

  I sat back in the chair and thought for a moment. I didn’t know any British people either. I had spent so much of my life sequestered in the Forbidden City. Even the few ladies the empress had been able to admit, I did not speak to since I didn’t speak English.

  But then I remembered the one English man I did speak to many years ago in the dungeon under the Forbidden City. Harry Parkes. Then I remembered the slip of paper my prince had given me on his deathbed, the name of Harry Parkes’ daughter! I began to weep at the thought of how, even now, even so long after his death, my prince was caring for me and our descendants.

  Arsalan rushed over and put a hand on my shoulder. “Please, do not fret, Grandmother,” he said. “We will find a way.”

  “No,” I said, brushing his hand away. “I am not fretting. I think I know a way to get you out of China.”

  * * *

  I went back to the palace and retrieved the name and address of the woman from my collection of memories. When we arrived at the address in the British Legation, I was very nervous. My legs didn’t want to work as my grandson helped me from the sedan chair.

  He knocked on the door and a tall white man in a black suit opened it. He didn’t seem to want to admit us, but after my grandson said some things in English, he allowed us to enter.

  I had spent over fifty years living in a palace, but I was still awed by the beauty of this foreign-style home. A golden and crystal chandelier dangled over our heads. A large, gilded mirror stood on either side of the entryway. The walls and floors were made of a polished red wood, but the floors were covered with ornate rugs from the Middle East. A staircase ahead of us twisted around to go to a second floor. A second floor! The whole of the Forbidden City, except for the Hall of Supreme Harmony, where I had never been, was all on the same level. The tall man led us into a side room and motioned for us to sit on plush, cushioned chairs that were nothing like the carved wood Chinese furniture I was familiar with. Every wall of the room was covered with art in golden frames. Some were portraits, some were Western oil paintings, some were Chinese ink and wash paintings. There were little knickknacks on every surface, small boxes and porcelain figures. On one little table, in a round frame I found a piece of my double-sided embroidery. The frame had beveled glass on each side and would spin so that you could see a tiger on one side and a peacock on the other. Even to me, the piece and the presentation were exquisite.

  As I was examining the piece, a white woman entered the room and looked very surprised to see us. She said something in English and my grandson began talking to her. After a moment, her shock melted away and she rushed over and took my hand with tears in her eyes. She began jabbering in English, but then my grandson began to translate.

  “I am so happy to finally meet you,” she said.

  “You know of me?” I asked, my grandson translating what I said.

  “Of course!” she exclaimed. “My father never tired of telling the story of the beautiful Chinese girl with bound feet that snuck into the dungeon of the Forbidden City and saved his life. You are a legend in my family.”

  My head dropped and tears filled my eyes. I waved her away. “It was nothing,” I said.

  “Nothing?” she asked in shock as she led me over to a couch to sit down with her. She never let go of my hands. “My dear Yaqian. May I call you Yaqian? My father would have died if not for you. So many of his men did die. My father wanted so much to see you again, to thank you, but Prince Gong always said it couldn’t be done. The prince said that if your involvement had been revealed, you would have been discovered as a traitor, so he had to keep you secreted away. But my father never forgot you. He told everyone about you. If it wasn’t for you, I never would have been born! My whole family owes you a great debt.”

  “I don’t know how to reply,” I said, so my grandson took over. He told her of his desire to leave China for England but that he lacked connections.

  “You are very lucky we happened to be in residence,” Mrs. Keswick replied. “Most of my husband’s business is in Hong Kong and Shanghai, so we were thinking of closing the house here permanently. You are right, China is changing. Everyone can feel it. We are leaving for England in a few days. We will stay there for at least the season. We would be happy to take you all with us and make the necessary introductions. I could even help Hulan open a shop. All of the women here simply love her embroidery work. I am sure it would fetch even higher prices in England.”

  “That is all good news,” I said. “But you won’t need to make room for me. I’m staying. I just needed to make sure my daughter and grandson would be taken care of.”

  “Mother, no,” Hulan gasped.

  “I have already made up my mind,” I said. “I cannot leave the empress. I am too old to start over in a new place. I will die here, no matter what becomes of my country.”