“Liam O’Connell.”

  O’Connell? So he’s Irish? That still doesn’t explain who he is and what he’s doing in Violet’s apartment.

  “Are those for Violet?” he asks about the bouquet.

  I nod. “Yeah. I heard she wasn’t feeling well. I’d like to see her and give this to her in person.”

  The man doesn’t budge. He shakes his head.

  “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible.”

  I wonder if it’s possible to punch him instead. But no. I’m not going to let my temper get the better of me this time.

  I square my shoulders instead and stick my chest out.

  “Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’m Asher Hawthorne. I’m her—”

  “I know exactly who you are.”

  And the hostility that has suddenly taken over his expression tells me how much else he knows.

  Who is he that Violet confided in him so much? Her brother? I don’t think she has one. Besides, they don’t look at all alike.

  It’s unfair. He knows who I am and I know nothing about him.

  I let out a breath. “So Violet doesn’t want to see me. Is that it?”

  “She’s not here,” Liam says.

  So she was lying when she said she wasn’t feeling well.

  “Where is she?” I ask.

  Liam shrugs. “She went to buy some food. She just left a few minutes ago. I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

  In other words, he wants me to leave. Should I?

  I look at the bouquet in my hand. If Violet isn’t here, there’s no reason for me to stay. But should I leave the bouquet with this loser? I don’t want to.

  I leave. I don’t even bother to tell the guy to tell Violet I was here. I have a feeling he won’t.

  “Aren’t you leaving the flowers?” he asks.

  I lift them. “I’ll just give them to her next time.”

  I proceed to the elevator thinking our conversation has ended, but the man speaks again.

  “Wouldn’t it be better if you just stayed away from her?” he asks. “Haven’t you hurt her enough?”

  I stop in my tracks. My hands clench into fists. If he wasn’t making any sense, I would have punched him already, but as much as I hate to admit it, he may be right. Maybe it is better for me to stay away from Violet.

  I look at the bouquet I’m holding. Then I turn around and throw it at him. It almost lands on his surprised face but ends up in his arms.

  It’s his now. Just like Violet.

  She and I are done.

  As I step inside the elevator, I try to convince myself that I just did the right thing, that it’s for the best.

  But then why does it feel like shit?

  ~

  “You look like shit,” Ethan says as he slides on top of the stool beside me. “How many martinis have you had?”

  “Oh, he didn’t have any martinis,” Glenn answers for me. “He’s been drinking gin straight up. And he’s been here since three.”

  “Three in the afternoon?” I hear the surprise in Ethan’s voice.

  “Someone played hooky,” Ryker mutters.

  “Shut up, Ryker,” I tell him as I lift my head off the counter.

  I look at Glenn and raise a finger.

  “Another glass of gin, please.”

  “No,” Ethan says. “No more gin.”

  I glare at him. “You can’t tell me what to do here. We’re not at the office. You’re not my boss.”

  He sips his whiskey and says nothing. Now what? He’s ignoring me?

  I turn to Ryker. “Ryker, tell Ethan he’s not my boss here.”

  “I don’t think you should have any more gin either,” he says.

  I frown. “Did I ask for your opinion?”

  “You’re drunk,” Ethan tells me. “As soon as I’m done with my drink, I’m bringing you home.”

  “I’m not drunk,” I reply.

  I know I’ve been here for hours and drunk four glasses of gin, maybe more. I know that I feel a little lightheaded. And I can smell the alcohol on my breath. But I’m not drunk.

  “You are drunk,” Ryker seconds.

  I look at him. “Again, I wasn’t asking for your opinion.”

  He shrugs. “It doesn’t make it any less true.”

  “And I’m not going home,” I tell Ethan. “I’m not going back to my apartment.”

  “Why not?” he asks.

  “Because Violet is there.”

  “I thought she lives there,” Ryker says.

  I ignore him. “And her new boyfriend.”

  Ethan puts his glass down. “I see. So you got yourself drunk because Violet dumped you and got a new boyfriend.”

  “I am not drunk.”

  “But you got dumped?” Ryker asks. “Well, isn’t that a first?”

  I glare at him. “Shut up, Ryker.”

  “I don’t see how her new boyfriend is your problem,” Ethan says. “After all, she already dumped you.”

  I fight the urge to cover my ears. Can they please stop saying ‘dumped’?

  “Maybe he’s still in love with her,” Ryker says. “Wait. Isn’t that a first, too?”

  I give him another glare. Does he want me to punch him? Because if he does, I’d be happy to oblige. My fist is still itching from this afternoon.

  “So you finally fell in love with someone but then you let her slip through your fingers,” Ethan says. “Don’t worry. It happens to the best of men, especially those who’ve never been in love before.”

  “Are you speaking from experience?” I ask him.

  He doesn’t answer that. Instead, he looks at me.

  “You know what you have to do? You have to get her back. That’s what you and Ryker told me when I lost Stella. You told me to go after her and get her back. So you do the same. Get her back.”

  I snort and let my chin fall on the counter. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Because she has a new boyfriend?”

  “Because she wants me to be her boyfriend and I’m not sure I’m ready to be that,” I confess. “And I don’t know how to be.”

  “Did you tell her that?”

  I pause. “No.”

  “I’m guessing you haven’t told her you’re in love with her, either,” Ryker says.

  “Because I’m not,” I tell him.

  “Oh yes you are,” Ryker says.

  This time, I don’t protest. I just wonder. Am I?

  “Just go and tell her how you feel,” Ethan tells me. “Everything you feel. If she decides she still wants nothing to do with you, then let her go. Just don’t give up before putting up a fight.”

  I chuckle. “Funny. Stella told me the same thing.”

  “You talked to her?” Ethan asks.

  “When I went to your house after I found out Violet and I were neighbors,” I tell him.

  “Oh.” Ethan nods. “Well, anyway, we’re both right. You shouldn’t be here drinking, not until you’ve really lost.”

  “Haven’t I?”

  “Have you given up?” Ryker asks me.

  “I gave her new boyfriend flowers,” I answer.

  “What?” they both say at the same time.

  “I gave her new boyfriend the flowers I was going to give her. That’s like throwing in the towel, right?”

  Ryker laughs. “You did what?”

  “So you did something stupid,” Ethan says. “So what? That doesn’t mean you’ve given up on Violet, does it?”

  “I don’t think so,” I answer.

  Ethan grabs my shoulder and straightens me up. He looks into my eyes.

  “Do you want Violet back, Asher Hawthorne?”

  “Yes,” I answer without thinking.

  “Then go get her back,” Ethan tells me.

  “Okay.”

  “Though maybe not right now,” Ryker says. “She won’t take you seriously if you’re drunk. Plus you might throw up on her in front of her new boyfriend, which won’t help you win her back at all.”

  “Fine.” I agree with him for once, even though I suddenly have an urge to go see her.

  I bury my face in my arms on the counter.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk so much.

  ~

  I really shouldn’t have drunk so much, I think as I stumble out of the elevator.

  Ethan drove me home—well, his driver did—and the doorman downstairs helped me across the lobby, but now I’m on my own and I realize I can barely put one foot in front of the other.

  I lean on the wall and trudge along. I can already see the door to my apartment even if it’s a bit of a blur.

  Just a few more steps…

  I fall. One moment I’m leaning on the wall and the next I’m on the floor. I don’t feel any pain, though. Just the coarse carpet against my cheek.

  And weak. I feel weak. Like I don’t think I’ll be able to get up.

  Fuck.

  I close my eyes, about to give up. But then I hear a voice.

  “Asher?”

  I open my eyes and see Violet kneeling beside me. Just the sight of her alone gives me the strength to get my face off the floor and straighten up half my body so I can sit against the wall. But that’s the best I can do.

  “Asher?” Violet places her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  I look into her eyes. Even though I’m drunk, I can see them clearly.

  “Beautiful,” I mutter.

  Her eyebrows crease. “What?”

  “You’re beautiful,” I tell her.

  “And you’re drunk,” she says.

  “That doesn’t… make it any less true.”

  She shakes her head.

  I narrow my eyes. “Are you blushing?”

  “No,” she says. “You’re the one whose face is all red.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “Just shut up and let me help you get home.”

  She grabs my arm.

  “Wait.” I pull it away. “Before I shut up, I have something to say.”

  I know Ryker said I should wait until I’m sober before I talk to Violet, and he’s probably right. But she’s here now. I’m not wasting this chance.

  Violet looks at me. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait until you’re sober?”

  “No,” I answer. “I mean yes. I’m sure.”

  She sits on her heels. “Okay then. I’m listening. But if you start to speak nonsense…”

  “Farrah West,” I begin.

  Violet crosses her arms over her chest. “Asher, I’m Violet Cleary. I know you’re drunk, and I know you’re not good with names, but are you seriously telling me you can’t remember the name of the last woman you slept with?”

  “No, no. Farrah was the first. And the one who broke me. She was fine at first. But when I left her, she accused me of rape. I was sixteen. She was nineteen.”

  Violet gasps. “What?”

  “The charges were dropped. They’re not even on my record. And every article about what happened then was wiped out. But I remember what happened. And I learned my lesson—never let a woman get attached to you.”

  “So that’s why you’ve been sleeping around.”

  I nod. “I’d sleep with them one night and leave in the morning like you said. But not you. We’ve had sex a dozen times and I still want you.”

  “Because the sex is that good?”

  “Because it’s not just about the sex. Each time I’m with you, everything just feels… right. And I know I’m all wrong for you. I know I say all the wrong things. But I want to be right for you. I can’t be perfect. Not right away. Not ever. Because I’m not. And because of that, I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you or that we’ll never fight. But I want to…”

  I grip my stomach as I feel it churn.

  “Fuck.”

  “You want to fuck? Now?” Violet rolls her eyes.

  “Well, yes,” I tell her with a lopsided grin. “But I also want to stay with…”

  I stop talking as the churning in my stomach grows more intense. The next thing I know, I’m throwing up on the carpet.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Violet

  “Fuck.” The curse leaves my lips as I see the puddle on the floor.

  Well, this is a mess. Then again, I suppose it’s only to be expected since Asher is a mess. A drunken mess. And now, a passed out drunken mess.

  Great. Just great.

  I consider just leaving him to sleep it off in the cold corridor beside his puddle of vomit. But how can I after he just told me all those things, some of which were exactly the words I’d been waiting to hear?

  I grab his arm, place it over my shoulder, and try to get him to his feet so I can bring him inside my apartment.

  “Come on.”

  Asher doesn’t wake up, but I somehow manage to drag him through the door and into the living room. I try to put him on the couch but fail so I just leave him on the rug.

  I remove his vomit-soaked shirt and clean up his face with a damp towel. Then I fetch the duvet from the spare room and cover his body with it to keep him warm.

  There. That’s better.

  His face is still red and he still reeks of alcohol, but at least he doesn’t smell like vomit. And he’s sleeping soundly now. In the safety and comfort of my living room.

  I sit on the couch and shake my head. Unbelievable.

  I can’t believe he drank so much that he ended up like this. How old does he think he is? Twenty-one? But that’s not all I can’t believe.

  I still can’t believe what he said about the first woman he slept with. What a bitch. And I still can’t believe he just poured his heart out to me. Yes, he’s drunk, but I can tell he meant every word he said.

  He wants to be with me.

  I reach down to brush some strands of hair off his forehead. Then I stare at his face and smile.

  Asher wants to be with me. He finally said it, and now that he has, I just know I want the same thing. I want to give him another chance. I want to give us both a chance.

  Maybe we’ll stay together. Maybe we’ll fall apart. Who knows? What matters is that we both decide to try.

  That’s exactly what I’m going to tell Asher tomorrow. But first, I’ll have to make sure he remembers what he told me.

  I draw a deep breath.

  I sure hope he does.

  ~

  “I remember,” Asher says as he sits on the couch beside me moments after waking up. “I remember trying to walk down the corridor and then falling. And then you showed up and we talked. I just don’t remember how I ended up here.”

  “That’s because you passed out,” I tell him. “You threw up and you passed out.”

  “I threw up?” Asher’s eyes grow wide. “In the corridor?”

  “Yes.”

  He glances down. “So that’s why I don’t have my shirt.”

  I nod. “That’s why you don’t have your shirt.”

  His eyebrows furrow. “Wait. I passed out in the corridor and you brought me in here? By yourself?”

  “Yes,” I admit proudly.

  “Your new boyfriend didn’t help?”

  “Boyfriend?”

  What is he talking about?

  “The man who was here in your apartment,” Asher explains.

  My eyebrows arch. “Oh. You mean Liam?”

  “Yes, Liam.”

  I laugh. He thinks Liam is my new boyfriend?

  He gives me a puzzled look. “What’s so funny?”

  “You making the same mistake I did.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Liam isn’t my new boyfriend.”

  “He isn’t?” Asher’s eyes grow wide. Then they narrow. “Wait. Is he your house manager?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “He’s an old friend of mine from Zurich. He’s a doctor.”

  “Oh.”

  “He’s here in Chicago because of a patient and he dropped by to see me.”

  Asher nods. “I see.”

  He touches his chin as he looks at me.

  “So you and Liam aren’t in a romantic relationship?”

  “No,” I answer.

  “But he seemed protective of you.”

  “Really?” My eyebrows furrow. “What did he say?”

  “He wanted me to stay away from you.”

  “Well, that’s because I kind of told him about you. Not that I wanted to. He… he just somehow got it out of me.”

  “So you’re close?”

  I shrug. “I guess. He’s like a brother to me.”

  “Just a brother?”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Look at you being the jealous one for a change.”

  “I need to know, Violet,” he insists in a serious tone.

  Oh. Now he’s serious. I guess I need to get serious as well.

  I clear my throat. “Liam is just like a brother to me. Nothing more.”

  “Sure?”

  “Sure.”

  I see the relief on Asher’s face. I guess he really was jealous.

  “Now, do you remember what you told me last night?” I ask him.

  “Some,” he answers.

  “Like?”

  He pauses and scratches the back of his head. “You know what? I think I’ll just start over.”

  “Okay, but you can skip the part about Farrah.”

  His eyes narrow. “I told you about Farrah?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” Asher draws a deep breath. “I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve realized I don’t want to let you go. I’m still not sure how to do this, but I want to try and figure it out. And I know you expect a lot of me, so—”

  “I don’t,” I tell him.

  He looks confused, so I go on.

  “I was expecting too much of you. I know that now. So I’m not going to anymore. I’m not going to rush you and I’m not going to force you to feel things. I’m just going to be here.” I hold his hand. “As long as you’re here.”

  “I intend to be.” He grips my hand firmly as he looks into my eyes. “Because I’m in love with you, Violet Cleary.”

  The words take my breath away. My heart stops.

  He is? But I thought Stella said he didn’t know how to love.

  He touches my cheek. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

  I place my hand over his. “Actually, I do.”

  And it’s true. In spite of all my fears, I believe him with all my heart, which is pounding so hard right now it might just fly out of my chest.