“So when were you two going to tell me?”

  “It’s not like we announced it,” Calvin replied quietly. “It’s complicated.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet.” Rafe turned to Sloane, his eyes narrowed. “What kind of team are you leading here, Brodie? Is there anyone on Destructive Delta who isn’t sleeping with a teammate?”

  “You’re one to talk,” Ash scoffed.

  “Nina and I weren’t on the same team. It wasn’t against the rules,” Rafe growled.

  Sloane’s jaw clenched. “Now’s not the time for this, Rafe.”

  “Oh? When’s the right time?” Rafe thrust a hand toward Hudson. “When someone ends up dead? Is there anyone on your team who hasn’t ended up in this hospital? Is there anyone you know how to keep safe?”

  “That’s enough,” Sloane warned.

  Rafe shook his head in pity before moving his gaze to Dex. “I feel sorry for you, man. With his track record, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get you killed.”

  “You son of a bitch.”

  Sloane charged Rafe, and it took Ethan, Cael, and Ash to hold him back. Seb stood and rounded on Rafe.

  “What the fuck is the matter with you? Haven’t you caused enough pain? Now you have to attack my friends too?”

  “If he’s such a fucking good friend, why do people keep getting hurt on his watch, huh?”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Because no one’s ever gotten hurt on your watch, right?” Seb spat out. “Oh, I forgot, you’re fucking perfect.”

  Rafe turned his attention back to Sloane. “I don’t know why Sparks has let this team—has let you—get away with the shit it has. When Gabe died, your ass should have been benched. You haven’t been fit for duty since.”

  Ethan, Ash, and Cael grabbed Sloane when they should have been keeping an eye on Dex. None of them saw it coming, least of all Rafe, who reeled back after Dex managed to punch him square across the jaw with a jump and punch move Ethan had never seen him do before. Where the hell had he learned that?

  “Jesus, Daley.” Ash stared at Dex. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

  “Training,” Dex replied, his eyes narrowed at Rafe. He positioned himself between Sloane and Rafe. “I’ve had enough of your attitude. You wanna go at it? Let’s step outside.”

  “You little shit.” Rafe took a step toward Dex, when he let out a sharp cry and fell to his knees.

  “Rafe!”

  Nina ran to his side, and Ethan joined her. He tried to help his brother, but Rafe pushed him away.

  “Don’t touch me. I’m fine,” Rafe growled.

  Jesus, really? Ethan threw his arms up in frustration and put some distance between him and his brother before he ended up following Dex’s lead. Like they weren’t already going through enough. He was surprised they hadn’t gotten themselves kicked out.

  “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Should we call someone?” Letty asked.

  “I said I’m fine.”

  Rafe was on his knees, his brow beaded with sweat. Whatever he was, he wasn’t fine. Why wouldn’t he let them help?

  “Tell them.” Nina cupped Rafe’s face, her deep brown eyes pleading.

  “Nina,” Rafe warned.

  Nina shook her head. “No. I’m sick and tired of everyone treating you like shit.”

  “Here’s an idea,” Dex said. “Stop acting like an asshole all the time and maybe people wouldn’t think you were such a dick.”

  “Fuck you, Daley. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.”

  Rafe winced, and Ethan knew something was wrong. He wanted to go to his brother, but Rafe would push him away.

  “That much I gathered,” Dex muttered.

  “Rafe, it’s not right.”

  Nina ran a hand over his head, her expression filled with concern, but Rafe shook his head. He pushed himself to his feet, the pain caused by the movement evident on his face. He limped toward the door, head held high.

  “I’m going for some coffee. You do what you want.”

  He walked out the door, and Seb went back to his chair beside Hudson. He closed his eyes and sighed.

  Dex turned his attention to Nina. “How can you go out with that guy?”

  “How can you be so judgmental?”

  “Judgmental? He goes out of his way to be a certifiable prick to everyone, even his own brothers!”

  “Because he’s hurt and angry and scared. His life is crashing down around him, and no one gives a fuck. They’re too busy talking shit about him behind his back about what an asshole he is.”

  Dex looked affronted. “Hey, I’ve never said squat about him behind his back. Anything I’ve got to say to him, I say to his face. I’m sorry he’s going through whatever he’s going through, but maybe if he actually talked to someone about it rather than pissing on any and every effort someone makes to get along with him, then he wouldn’t be going through it alone.”

  “He’s not going through it alone,” Nina replied angrily. “He has me. I’m the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to him screaming in pain. I’m the one who holds him when it gets so bad he passes out. When he wakes up and he’s shaking so badly he can’t hold his own glass of water, I’m the one who helps him. All you see is the asshole. You don’t see the guy who dropped out of high school and took night classes while working two jobs so his family could put food on the table, so his dad and little brother had the medicine they needed.”

  Ethan stood stunned. He wasn’t sure which part of Nina’s outburst left him the most hurt and confused. Just what the hell was going on with his brother, and why hadn’t Rafe said anything?

  Nina turned to Ethan, tears in her eyes. “You and Seb have always been so angry with him for never being there, but did you stop to think about why? Everything he did, he did for his family, without complaint and without even bringing it up, because he didn’t want anyone feeling guilty. When Seb applied to the THIRDS, who do you think put in a referral for him to get hired? When you applied, who fought tooth and nail so you’d get hired? The THIRDS is inclusive, but they were unsure if you could perform out in the field as a specialist with your mutism. They wanted to give you a desk job, Ethan. Rafe fought for you to receive equal treatment. He told them they’d be losing out if they didn’t put you out there.” She turned to Seb, her expression softening. “After the shootout, when everyone was out for your blood, demanding you be let go, who do you think went to the very top to fight for you? Rafe gave everything he had, put his own reputation on the line so they would give you a second chance.” Her resolve strengthened, and she wiped a tear away from her cheek.

  “Rafe’s health has been deteriorating for some time, and he’s been trying everything to prevent…” She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “He has two years left out in the field. Three at most. The doctors have already confirmed it. Rafe’s going to end up in a wheelchair. Permanently. Like your father. He inherited your dad’s Therian Acheron Syndrome.”

  Ethan’s heart dropped. He shook his head. No. That can’t be right.

  “That’s why he’s so angry all the time. He’s been hiding it for years. The symptoms started appearing back in college, but they weren’t so bad, so he tried to ignore it. Then three years ago… the pain got too bad to ignore. It hit him hard.”

  Ethan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His heart squeezed in his chest. Seb stood, but Ethan shook his head. He turned and left, grateful when Calvin stayed behind. He needed to see Rafe alone, needed to know if it was true. Ethan tried not to think about Rafe going through what his dad went through. The doctors said it was what had set off Ethan’s mutism. The trauma of seeing and hearing his father in so much pain, watching how it contorted his body. Worst of all was the flash of resignation in his father’s green eyes. That slip of a moment where it had been evident that he wanted nothing more than to end his own suffering. It didn’t last long before his father’s determination set in, but it was enough to haunt Ethan for the rest of his life.

  Ethan rounded the corner and found his brother leaning against the corridor wall that led to the café. Rafe cut him off and held a hand up.

  “I don’t need your pity parade. I can take care of my own shit. Always have.”

  Rafe tried to limp off, and Ethan grabbed his arm. Please don’t go.

  “Fuck off, Ethan. Don’t pretend like you give a shit. You and Seb made it pretty clear ages ago that I’m not part of your little club. Just because I’m going to end up a spaz like you and Dad doesn’t change anything.”

  Ethan flinched at Rafe’s callous words. They hurt, but he knew his brother was hurting worse. Stepping up to Rafe, Ethan wrapped his arms around him and hugged him close, refusing to let go when Rafe tried to push him away. His brother wasn’t really trying. He could have pushed harder. Ethan leaned his head against Rafe’s and whispered in his ear.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Rafe stiffened. It was the first time Ethan had spoken to him. Ever. Rafe wrapped his arms around Ethan, giving him a squeeze before burying his head against Ethan’s shoulder. Seeing Rafe so vulnerable was difficult. Rafe had never been anything but fearless and stoic. He made it a point never to show any weakness, or rather what he deemed weakness, in front of anyone. It was difficult for Ethan to hear Rafe’s quiet sobs.

  When Rafe was ready, he pulled back and wiped at his eyes. The tears were gone, and his somber expression returned, but his eyes gave away the despair he was feeling. He cleared his throat and smoothed out his shirt.

  “I always resented the fact you spoke to Seb and not me. I know I’m not fun like Seb, and that I’ve never been there for you, but you have to know it’s not because I didn’t want to be. I didn’t know what to do to help you, and that frustrated me. I’m not so good with feeling helpless. Seb always knew what to do when you got upset or scared. I made things worse.”

  “That didn’t mean I didn’t need you,” Ethan said softly.

  Rafe gave him a nod. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

  “Is it true? You have what Dad has?”

  Rafe inhaled deeply and nodded. He motioned over to the large fountain and the tiled seating around it. They walked over, and Ethan took a seat beside his brother.

  “I was diagnosed years ago, but I was in denial. Seeing Dad struggling with his meds, confined to his wheelchair, how hard it was for Mom, for everyone, and knowing there was nothing I could do to prevent it… I couldn’t handle it. It made me furious, and I know it was wrong to take that out on you and Seb, but I was so angry. I was the oldest. It was my job to look after everyone, to provide for our family. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “Do Mom and Dad know?”

  Rafe shook his head, his lips pressed together. “I don’t know how to tell Mom. It’ll be like Dad all over again, and that almost killed her. And now with this…” He motioned toward the corridor they’d come from and ICU.

  “He saved Seb’s life.”

  “I know. And I know it wasn’t his fault. It would make me so angry seeing Seb hurting like that.” Rafe let out a humorless laugh. “Anger seems to be the only thing I can feel these days. It was easy to hate Hudson for what he did. For breaking Seb’s heart, for leaving him when he was at his lowest, after Seb had risked his life and his career for him. I couldn’t understand it. Why the hell would Seb do something so stupid? Now I understand.”

  “Nina.”

  A smile came onto Rafe’s face, and it warmed Ethan all over. His brother didn’t smile nearly enough, if ever. It made him look like a different person. Someone not so angry at the world.

  “It took me a while to realize she wasn’t going to go anywhere. I figured once she found out, she’d leave me. The first time I woke up screaming, I told myself she was out the door. Instead, she was focused and helped me through it. She wouldn’t put up with any of my shit. I tried to break it off, and she refused.” Rafe chuckled at the memory. “She actually refused. Just said ‘Nope, not happening,’ and then she made me soup.” He narrowed his eyes. “There was a fish head in it, but it was surprisingly good.”

  Ethan laughed. He knew how much his brother hated eating things with eyes still attached. Rafe took a deep breath, and Ethan could have sworn his cheeks were flushed.

  “You love her,” Ethan said as it dawned on him.

  Rafe gave Ethan a sideways glance before his lips curled into a smile. “Yeah, I think I do.”

  Ethan threw an arm around his big brother and hugged him. “I’m happy for you. Really.”

  “Wow, you making up for not talking to me all your life?”

  “I’m sorry.” And he meant it. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I couldn’t.”

  “I know.” Rafe stared off at nothing in particular. “I read up on it, you know. On your selective mutism and social anxiety. I wanted to understand. And I did. I couldn’t get past the fact that you could talk to Seb and not me.”

  “I don’t get to choose,” Ethan murmured quietly. “I either can or can’t. I wish I could talk to Mom. I know how much it would mean to her. To Dad. I’ve tried so many times. But I can’t. I open my mouth and my throat closes up. I start to panic. Then I think about how disappointed she must feel, and it makes things worse. I passed out once.” He’d tried so hard. His mom had so many worries, so much going on with their dad. Even at a young age he knew how happy it would make her if he talked to her, but no matter how much he pushed himself, he couldn’t. He’d tried so hard one day he’d blacked out.

  “I remember,” Rafe said gently. “I was the one who found you.”

  Ethan stared at him. “But I was in Seb’s room when I woke up.”

  “I put you there. Figured you’d feel better if Seb was there when you woke up.”

  Ethan couldn’t help feeling guilty. How many times had his brother placed Ethan’s needs before his own and simply kept it to himself? “Seb told me I didn’t have to talk. If one day I did, it would be great but not to force myself. Things got a little better after that.”

  “See, I would have fucked it all up.” Rafe frowned down at his fingers. “Speaking of fucking up, I’m sorry about Thanksgiving. I had a bad episode that morning and said ‘fuck you’ to the world. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt or Cal. Not that I’m excusing what I did, but I had no idea what was going on with your meds. I hope that motherfucker rots in hell for what he did. Anyway, yeah, I was a shitty brother, and there’s no excuse for what I said to you that day. I’m really sorry.”

  “I forgive you.”

  Rafe’s brows drew together, and his eyes grew glassy. He pressed his lips together and nodded, his hands clasped tightly between his knees.

  “What are you going to do now?” Ethan asked softly.

  Rafe shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do. There’s no cure for it. Maybe one day. All I can do is prepare myself for the day my legs stop working.”

  “When that day comes, I’ll be there to help you in every way I can,” Ethan promised.

  “Me too.”

  They looked up to find Seb standing to one side looking uncertain. Rafe stood, and they faced each other, neither one seeming to know what to do. Seb shoved his hands into his pockets.

  “I’m not here out of pity. I wanted to say I’m sorry. I accused you of being an asshole, and I was no better, always expecting you to be the one to make all the effort.”

  Rafe stepped up to Seb, and Ethan braced himself. He hoped they wouldn’t get into a fight here of all places. To Ethan’s surprise and relief, Rafe pulled Seb into a hug. The two wrapped their arms around each other, and Ethan smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time his brothers had hugged. They stood like that for a long time, and Ethan met Seb’s gaze. He gave him a nod and smiled.

  “We’ll get through this together,” Seb promised. “No more pushing us away, okay? We’re your brothers, and we love you. Let us help you.”

  Rafe nodded. “Okay.” He cleared his throat and motioned to the corridor they’d come from. “When Hudson wakes up and he’s better, I’ll apologize. I doubt he’ll forgive me, but I need to at least try. I know how much he means to you.”

  “Thank you.”

  The three of them made their way back to Hudson’s room, and everyone got up when they entered. Calvin looked relieved when he saw them. Most likely because they’d returned without bruises.

  “I don’t want anyone treating me different,” Rafe grumbled as he walked in.

  Nina ran over to him and hugged him.

  Sloane shook his head. “We don’t treat Hobbs any different. Why would we treat you differently?”

  “Sorry I punched you,” Dex added. “But you did deserve it.”

  “Fair enough. I’ll try not to be so much of an asshole.” Rafe stopped in front of Sloane and met his gaze. “I’m sorry for always giving you such a hard time. I guess I felt a lot of resentment towards you. I’ve always respected you, and when I found out about my condition, I needed to vent, and I guess you were an easy target.” Rafe shifted uncomfortably, but he carried on, determined to say what he needed to say. “You were the kind of team leader I always wanted to be, and it got hard, seeing you doing so well, knowing where I was going to end up. I looked for any reason to drag you down, and I’m sorry.”

  Sloane looked surprised. He quickly snapped himself out of it and held his hand out to Rafe, who took it without hesitation. “I appreciate your honesty. If you need anything, just ask.”

  “Why would you help me?” Rafe’s expression was wary. “After all the shit I’ve said to you? After everything I’ve done?”

  “Because Destructive Delta is family, and that includes anyone connected to Destructive Delta.” Sloane took a deep breath and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking somewhat embarrassed. “The truth is we can be stubborn asses. We’re so used to doing things our way that when things change, we have trouble keeping up. It’s easy to think that putting our trust in others makes us weak, when really it makes us stronger.”

  Rafe pulled Nina close and smiled down at her. “I’m starting to see that.” He kissed her, his public show of affection unexpected. Ethan was happy to see his brother smiling. It was obvious how much he cared about Nina, and that was something Ethan never thought he’d see. Ethan worried about Hudson and Nina’s relationship. Hudson had been deeply hurt. He and Nina were close friends. If only Nina had confided in Hudson, things might have gone a little differently.