It exploded with a glare of flame, a blast of noise.

  Just in front of him. Spending all of its energy harmlessly against the force screen emanating from his walking stick.

  “Temper, temper,” he breathed, covering a yawn with the back of his hand. He waved the ebony cane in a slight arc and all of the weaponry grumbled back into the forest and vanished from sight.

  “You are not the police,” Angelina said.

  “Anything but, Mrs. diGriz. Those were my minions who took you on. My employees, so to speak. Their ranks are now well decimated I must add.”

  “Tough,” I said. “Call your insurance company. Remember-you started it.”

  “I did indeed, and am well satisfied by the outcome. I have heard from many sources that you were the best man-and best lady of course-in your chosen profession. I found that hard to believe. But now I do. Most impressive. So impressive that I am prepared to offer you a little assignment.”

  “I am not for hire. Who are you?”

  “Oh, I think you are. Imperetrix Von Kaiser-Czarski. You may call me Chaise.”

  “Good-by, Chaise,” I sneered, taking Angelina’s hand and turning away.

  “One million credits a day. Plus expenses.”

  “Two million,” I said, turning back, all sneering spent.

  “Done. We will both sign this.” A gold-embellished contract on finest vellum unrolled from his walking stick and he passed it over to me. Angelina leaned over my shoulder and we read it together.

  “Any problems?” Chaise asked.

  “None,” I answered. “We undertake to undertake an assignment at the agreed fee, payment to be deposited daily to my account. Fine. But what is it that you want us to do?”

  Chaise sighed and touched his stick again. It opened up into a comfortable-looking folding seat and he settled into it.

  “To begin with, you must realize my position, understand exactly who I am. You have never heard of me because I prefer it that way. If only to avoid the people with their hands out, eagerly seeking some of my money. I am, to put it simply, the richest man in the galaxy.” He smiled slightly as he spoke. Undoubtedly thinking of all the money he had.

  “I am probably the oldest man as well. The last time I worked out the figures, I think it was forty thousand years, give or take a millennium or two. As I am sure you realize, one’s memory begins to glitch a bit as the centuries roll by. I was a scientist, rather I think that I was a scientist. Or perhaps I hired a scientist. In any case I developed the first longevity drug. That much I am sure of. Which I, of course, kept to myself. And have been improving it ever since. How old do you think I look?”

  He raised his chin and turned his head. No wattles there. No wrinkles about his eyes, no touch of gray to his temple.

  “Forty, I would say,” Angelina said.

  “Centuries?”

  “Years.”

  “You are very kind. Well, as the millennia rolled by I amassed more money, more property. I could have easily assured my fortune by simply investing and letting the compound interest roll in. But that would have been very boring, and boredom is what I loathe the most. I have always sought excitement to lessen the burden of my years. In the process of growing rich I have bought, and now own, entire star systems. To add diversity to my portfolio I am presently in the process of acquiring a spiral galaxy; one never knows when one might need one. There are some black holes among my recent acquisitions. But I think I shall divest myself of them. Boring. Seen one black hole and you have seen them all.”

  He took the kerchief from his breast pocket, touched it lightly to his lips, returned it. One atom short of a molecule, I thought. I caught Angelina’s eye and saw that she thought the same.

  “But now I have a very troublesome problem that needs to be solved. I look for your aid in that quest.”

  “Three million a day,” I said promptly, avarice beating down suspicion.

  “Done,” he said, stifling a yawn at the same time. “My problem is that I am systematically being robbed. Someoneor some group-has been getting into my bank accounts. Right across the galaxy. Clearing them out. And if it so happens that I happen to own the bank-The Widows and Orphans Interstellar Bank-why then the entire branch of the bank is cleaned out as well. This makes for bad customer relationships. From millions of clients with their billions of credits. As you might understand this is quite embarrassing for one in my position. You, gentleman Jim diGriz, must utilize all of your stainless steel talents to stop these thefts and to discover who is perpetrating them.”

  As I opened my mouth to speak he raised his cane and sighed. “Yes, I know, don’t bother to say it, four million a day and let us leave it there. I find business so boring.”

  “You will have to give me complete details of all the previous thefts,” I said. “And a list of banks where you have accounts, as well as banks that you own.”

  “That has already been done. You will find all of the information in your computer’s memory banks.”

  “You are pretty sure of yourself.”

  “I am.”

  “And you work pretty fast.”

  “I have to-and at the price I am paying you, why you better do so as well. I want results yesterday. However I will settle for information instantly. Might I offer you a lift-so you can get right to work?”

  “You will have to,” Angelina said coldly. “After what you did to our hoverfloat. And our picnic basket.”

  “The value of your craft has already been credited to your highly secret, known to no one, account in the Banco di NAPSLO. And as some recompense for hardship I do hope that you will be my guests at dinner tonight at the Earth light Room. Just tell the maitre d’ to bill Kaia’s account. You will dine as you have never dined before.”

  A black and silent overalls dropped down into the clearing: the door opened.

  “After you, Mrs. diGriz. Or, might I be so bold, Angelina?”

  “Buster,” she said, swaying ever so gracefully up the stairs, “for what you are paying my husband you can call me anything you want.”

  CHAPTER 2

  So far Chaise had kept his word. The promised money had been deposited to my account in the Banco di NAPSLO. Despite the fact that I was sure that this cache of money was unknown to anyone. Chaise must really know about banks and banking. This could not be ignored. I made a mental note to find a new and more secure bank now that Chaise knew about this one. And an even newer and more secure way of transferring all my funds from my present bank. I was sure that if Chaise knew how to put credits into my accounthe might very well be able to siphon them out as well.

  I shuddered when I turned on my computer. There was so much information about Kaia’s banks and bank accounts jammed into the machine’s memory that bits and bytes were falling out of the memory banks; pixels were dropping off the screen.

  “You will need lots more computer memory than you have now,” Angelina said, frowning at the electronic debris.

  “I feel that I need lots more computer as well. Since we will be accessing far more data than this. Don’t I recall our good son James telling me far more about super computers he was designing than I really cared to know?”

  “I’m surprised that you remember that much. You fell sound asleep.”

  “Food and drink no doubt responsible for that.”

  “I doubt it. You mumbled something about concepts the mind cannot stomach as you dozed off.”

  “I apologize! I’ll eat humble pie! But, yes, you are right. I clearly remember passing through a computer-enthusiast phase in my mouth. But those days are long gone. All I want to know now about computer hardware now is where the switch is that turns the thing on.”

  “James will take care of our computer problems,” she said with the firm knowledge of our son’s talent that only a mother could have.

  But she was right. If it had not been for the hard work of James, and his twin brother Bolivar, our recent adventures in parallel-galaxy trotting could very well have ended in disaster. When Angelina had gone to Heaven it had been my turn to go to Hell. Or something very much like it. It took us a long time to sort out our time and space difficulties with a multi charactered individual who was causing immense problems in a number of places. We could never have been able to do it without the boys’ help. But, unlike the failures that we occasionally experience when we clash with the evils of the universe, this time all had ended very well indeed. In fact the whole affair had been consummated in matrimonial bliss. The twins had both been in love with the same woman, Sybil, the top agent in the Special Corps. As intelligent as she was beautiful, she had made the fatal decision that had turned the possibility of sibling rivalry into the enduring knot of marriage. Double marriage that is.

  One of the more interesting side effects of Professor Coypu’s universe-hopping machine was the doubling of one of its passage portals. That is if one person went through it, he or she came back doubled. Two people that really were the same person, or had been the same person. A bit confusing to

  understand, but very effective if two men were in love with the same woman-and she loved them both as well. Firm of mind, Sybil had passed through the portal and Sybil and Sybill had turned. They had tossed a coin to see who got the extra one. This had all ended in a very festive marriage indeed. We were most happy to see Sybil joyously married to James, while Sybill was happily ensconced in Bolivar’s arms. It had been a very neat solution to what could have been a rather serious problem.

  “We must talk to James,” Angelina said. “Have him sort this computer problem out.”

  “We must indeed,” I said, reaching for the phone.

  It was not pure chance that had brought us to this dreary planet. When James had discovered that Sybil shared his passion for nanotechnology, they had moved here to utilize all of the planet’s technological know-how. We had reports, from time to time, about their progress. Everything seemed to be working as planned and the money, instead of flowing out steadily, had begun to trickle in.

  So it seemed almost natural to consider Usti nad Labam. when we were looking for a site for our money-raising operation.

  “It would be quite logical,” Angelina had said, “to visit the newlyweds at the same time as we begin our new financial operation. There seems to be a good deal of money in circulation on this planet.”

  “And little else,” I had said, flipping through the sales brochure churned out by the planet’s tourist board. “A very dull planet if you read between the lines. Holiday camps where gambling is not allowed. At least drink isn’t banned-but I am sure that they are thinking about it.”

  “Jim diGriz-you are beginning to sound like an old grouch. We are going there to visit our son and daughter-in-law. And we will make a lot of money. And leave if it is as boring as you think and blast off to a planet of pleasure.”

  So we had gone. And it was nowhere near as bad as I had thought. Since gambling was illegal, there proved to be a good bit of clandestine gambling. I had studied magic since I was a stripling and had been a pretty fair cardician, as the professionals call it. That is someone who specializes in card manipulation. Very handy on stage-and equally useful in playing poker. When the stock market became boring I joined some payday card games and always managed to win more than I lost.

  Angelina had greatly enjoyed, as did I, visiting James and his wife. This was always an excuse for a party and my gambling proceeds turned into joyful celebrations at the best restaurants.

  As good as this was, the rest of this world left a lot to be desired. The planet must have evolved from a supernova because the ground was rich in heavy metals for doping computer chips. Not to mention vast fields of the purest silicon for making the chips themselves. The computer manufacturers had thronged to Silicon Gulch. Followed by the software nerds and all the other people who lived off technological industry.

  We had come for a quick visit, then stayed on when we discovered that the local and badly organized stock exchange could be a cash cow. Perhaps we had stayed too long. Kaia’s arrival had raised our morale-and the promise that it would lead to our exodus from this none too attractive world.

  “I’m going to call them now,” Angelina said, and called out the number to our telephone.

  “I am connecting you now,” the phone said. It was as good as its word and a moment later I could hear the phone ringing at the other end.

  “Nanotechtrics, how may I help you? ” the computer generated smarmy voice said.

  “I want to talk to the boss,” I called out.

  “Whom shall I tell her is calling?”

  “Good girl,” Angelina said, always an enthusiast for female equality.

  “Not her, him, James, his father…”

  “Grrrk, ” the computer said as it was interrupted. “Good to hear from you, Dad. Long time no talk. “

  “Too long. All work and no play. But work first. I need a supercomputer for some research we are undertaking, one that’s not as big as a house and needs an electric cable as thick as your arm to supply the juice.”

  “You have just described our Nanotechtric68X. I’ll get one to you at once.”

  “Everlasting thanks,” I said and disconnected. The doorannunciator bleeped.

  “I’ll get it,” Angelina said, then-“James, what a pleasant surprise, come in.”

  When my son says at once he really means it. “When you phoned I was in my chopper-and I had a 68X with me. I was just a hop away.”

  He brought in a battered leather suitcase, set it down and then it was kisses and handshakes all around. I eyed the suitcase suspiciously.

  “Planning a trip?” I asked.

  “Our latest model, the 68X.” He swung it up onto the table and pressed the latch. A screen flipped up and the keyboard popped out. I looked at it dubiously and he laughed. “This is just about our first working model. We breadboarded it to fit into this old suitcase. Streamlining and whizbang decor will all come later. For field testing this can’t be beat.” He patted it affectionately. “It works in a massively parallel mode. It uses distributive resources that reach out to memory spread across high-speed networks, which makes its speed not only unmeasurable-but even hard to just estimate. Its high-end massively parallel systems are really in the several teraflop range.”

  My eyes crossed: he had lost me. “Teraflop? Fall to earth?”

  “Not quite. One teraflop equals exactly one trillion floatingpoint calculations per second. So you can see that this little baby is really in the big league. One thing that helps as well is the fact that all the memory is nanobased.

  We have invented and patented a molecular nanomemory where rows of molecules are flipped one way or the other to record data. I will demonstrate. Do you have a database I can copy?”

  “Far too much in one of them. In the computer, filed under KAIZI.”

  He hummed to himself as he connected the two computers and hit a button. There was a quick crackling sound and the hairs on the back of my neck lifted up. James peered at the screen and smiled.

  “Done,” he said. “And less than one-hundredth of one percent of the memory in this computer has been used. Now what do you want done with it?”

  I told him about our encounter in the forest and Kaia’s problems. He nodded understandingly and his fingers skipped over the keys. He smiled when I mentioned the daily transfer to my bank account, shook his head when I mentioned how easily my employer had found this same account.

  “We will have to do something about that. Find a secure place for your hardearned income.” He leaned back and cracked his knuckles while the screen before him flared and crackled. “I’ve started a search program, really a lot of search programs running at the same time in a neural network. But-we sure have a lot of material to search for. What I have done is I have tapped into the interstellar web. We are now recording every detail of every occurrence of any kind, in any city where a robbery took place. All of the details of activity before and after the time that one of the banks was robbed. Then comparisons of all the data will be made. Such as, let us say, a spacer with the same name left every one of these cities exactly one day after each of the robberies …”

  “We have them! Find that spacer and we find the thieves!”

  “Easier said than done. And that was just an imaginary example. I think the real tracks are going be a lot harder to find. But let us get all the facts first, then try to relate them. I’ll leave the program running since it will take some time to produce any results. In the meantime why don’t you open a bottle of champers so we can celebrate your new job-and the first real test of my 68X.”

  Even as he spoke Angelina brought a tray with bottle and glasses and we drank the toast. A moment later Sybil arrived, which made the parry all the merrier. But James was still working while he sipped.

  “Dad,” he asked, “what do you know about banks?”

  “That is where the money is!” I said happily.

  “I mean more than that. What do you know about fiduciary bonds, roll-over percentages, PEPS, short-term interest-bearing investments, treasury bills and bank certificates of deposit?”

  “Happily nothing. It is the money in the hand that counts.”

  “Agreed. But since we have been running our own business I have dipped my toe into the golden water of finance and find it most lucrative. But I am a mere amateur. We will need someone with expert knowledge of the banking system if we stand any chance at all of finding the perpetrators of this crime.”

  “I think that Bolivar is the right man for the job,” Sybil said, for she had been listening to us when Angelina had gone for a fresh bottle of bubbly. My eyebrows raised.

  “But he is out among the stars,” I reminded her. “Indulging in his profound enthusiasm for lunar geology. And giving him all aid in his projects is Sybill who, I understand, shares his enthusiasm for life on the frontier.”

  “She does, but a little of it goes a long way. We have stayed in close touch and I can sense her feelings, since they are the same as mine. She has not said so in that many words, but living in a space suit for days on end does not do much for one’s hairdo. Not to mention personal hygiene. We have been talking of alternative possibilities that might necessitate a little break from the joys of airlessness and free fall. She, as I do, of course, has a keen interest in art history, archaeology, and, interestingly enough, the banking profession. Between working spells as an agent for the Special Corps I have always indulged myself in a fiduciary hobby. Some investing here, a little bit of takeover bidding and asset stripping there. Just for fun, as you might imagine. But my bank balance is a pretty solid one. Such a coincidence, your new interest in the banking profession.”