“You think they waste resources in order to keep an eye on us when they have million dollar cameras watching us?” Alex asked. “You know there’s no way to break out, right? I would know. I’ve tried multiple times.”

  “You’re able to shift?” I asked. I stopped pacing to look at him.

  “Of course I’m able to shift,” he said as though it was obvious. “They come here once a week, running their damn experiments. They want us to be able to shift at the drop of a hat.” He shook his head. “It’s not like we can use our Lycan to our advantage. Not here.”

  “But if I were able to get you out, would you be able to shift?” I asked.

  “You’re not getting us out,” Alex said, snorting at the thought. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was shaking his head.

  “Maybe not right this second -”

  “You are not getting us out,” Alex snapped. His hazel eyes cut into me like knives gutting a flopping fish. “Stop bullshitting me, okay? Just stop. Accept your fate. There’s no point in trying to fight it.”

  “Maybe you’ve accepted yours,” I said, curling my fingers into fists, “and that’s fine. If I’d been here for months and months and was used as some kind of science experiment the whole time, I’d feel the same way. But I just got here. So excuse me if I don’t want to resign myself to my fate just yet.”

  “And what do you think you’re going to do?” Alex snapped. “It’s not like you have magic. You can’t wave a hand and open the damn door, can you? And unless you have a weapon on you - which judging by that tight dress, I doubt it - then you can’t help anyone, much less yourself.”

  I rubbed my lips together, letting his words sink in. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t wrong. But I didn’t want to admit that. I couldn’t admit defeat. Not yet.

  “Okay,” I said, “but if, by some miracle, I could figure something out, would you be willing to get us out of here?”

  Alex blew out a breath. If I was being honest, he sounded like the big bad wolf - not the moniker the press had given Jon, but the actual fictional character - looking for his next house to blow in. I risked a glance at him, and I found him bunched in his cot, pressed against the glass corner. His arms were crossed over his chest tightly, revealing the muscle that corded his arms. His lips were curved into a scowl and his eyes were closed. His jaw was tight, and every inch of him screamed simmering anger and how he very much wanted absolutely nothing to do with my plan.

  But…

  But…

  He opened one eye and locked a hazel orb on me. For a moment, I thought he wasn’t going to say anything. I held my breath, waiting. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for, exactly, but I stood there, afraid to even move, to give him any cause to say no again.

  “Let’s just say, hypothetically,” he began, “and this is a very loose use of the word, that you were able to get us out of our cell. Let’s say, somehow, if that’s the case, they haven’t shot you dead and recaptured me, that somehow, we had a moment to collect ourselves, there is a possibility that I’d be able to shift. How do you expect me to get you out.”

  “Um, I would ride you,” I said.

  Alex glared, waiting for more information. I shifted my feet and looked at the floor. I could already see how dirty my feet were, despite how pristine the cell looked. Perhaps I should have kept my shoes, especially since the result was the same. I had been captured after all.

  “You would ride me,” he said, his tone flat. “How?”

  “Like a horse,” I replied. Suddenly, I realized how that sounded, and my cheeks were filled with heat. I was forced to turn away from him so he couldn’t see me.

  He barked out laughter that was void of any humor. “As pleasurable as that sounds, I will not be treated like a horse,” he said. “If you get us out, you’re on your own. I don’t work with anyone. So don’t let it go to your head, you got it?”

  “Got it,” I forced myself to say.

  I blew out a breath. Just because that plan crumbled didn’t mean I could give up. I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit around all day and wait.

  But honestly? I was exhausted.

  I felt myself lay down and stare up at the ceiling, and it wasn’t long before sleep took over my body and forced me to succumb.

  Chapter 15

  I woke up to a light flashing in my eyes. I wrinkled my nose, trying to pull away from it, trying to close my eyes, but whoever had me, was inspecting me, wouldn’t let me.

  “She’s a feisty one,” a familiar voice said. “Keep going. I want to make sure she isn’t concussed before we administer the serum.”

  “W-what?” I asked, struggling even harder. I tried blinking again, trying to make out who was above me, who had me, what was going on.

  “Stop moving,” a voice commanded me.

  I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate. My heart pounded against my chest and echoed throughout my head. I wasn’t going to get anywhere if I didn’t calm down and focus. I let out a breath, then another.

  “Good girl,” the voice said. “Obedient.”

  “What-what are you doing?” I asked slowly.

  I heard a click and suddenly, whoever had a grip on my face released it and sat back.

  I blinked again, but this time, I could actually follow through with it. It took me a moment to find my sight again which was more embarrassing than I cared to admit. What the hell had happened? I remembered talking to Alex. I remembered falling asleep. But waking up to this? What was going on?

  And there he was, standing just behind the man who had stuck a mini flashlight in my eye.

  My grandfather. His hands were crossed over his chest and his periwinkle blue eyes were on me, pinning me in place. He was the one who had spoken. He was the one who talked about injecting me with a serum after he was sure I hadn’t had a concussion.

  I glared at him. How dare he? I didn’t want to admit it, but I was upset. I was supposed to be his granddaughter. I was his only family left, and he was going to treat me the same way he treated his other experiments. I knew my thoughts were selfish. I knew it. But I also couldn’t help it. I thought that maybe after our conversation, we understood each other.

  But I was wrong.

  This man killed his own son. Why wouldn’t he experiment on his granddaughter in the name of science?

  “She looks good,” the scientist-doctor-whatever he was remarked. “I’d feed her and wait a half an hour, and then you can prepare.”

  “What the hell is this?” I demanded to know, trying to sit up. My head whooshed with an unexpected intensity. I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from groaning. The last thing I wanted was for him to know that I was harmed in any way. “What’s going on?”

  “After our discussion that night in the brownstone, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” my grandfather said as the doctor left his seat. He waited until the door to my glass cage shut before fixing his attention back onto me. “Did you know that we have yet to use the serum from Project Bloodshade on any female? We wanted to see how the men would handle it, especially since they’re more equipped for physical combat. That’s not to say the right woman couldn’t make a remarkable weapon. You, my dear, would make a remarkable weapon.”

  “Go fuck yourself,” I snapped.

  My grandfather wrinkled his nose, his eyes clouding. “For someone wearing a cross around your neck, you have a filthy mouth,” he pointed out, his voice and demeanor still calm.

  “My God is a forgiving God, and I’m sure He would understand,” I retorted. I hated when people threw religion in my face, like that was an adequate judge of character or a point to be made or a justification for actions. “So, I’ll say it again: go fucking fuck yourself.”

  Without warning, my grandfather leaned over and slapped me across my face. I saw stars, ringing in my ears. I waited once, took a breath, tried to open my eyes, then stopped when it was too painful to do so. I wasn’t expecting him to hit that hard. I wasn’t expecting him to hit me at all. It was only then did I realize how stupid I was being. I viewed him as a grandfather, a family member, and as a result, I piled on certain expectations because of that. The truth was, he wasn’t family. He hadn’t been family for a long, long time. Not since he supposedly died in combat and my grandmother was handed glassed flags in his honor.

  This man was a monster, a stranger, and he had no obligation to me.

  “You remind me of your mother,” he said. “She was fierce as well. I just hope you aren’t stupid about it.”

  “What would you know of my mom?” I said through gritted teeth. I opened my eyes slowly. This time, I was able to keep them focused on him for a moment. “You killed yourself off before you could get to know anyone else. Because this was way more important to you than anyone else. You’re a monster.”

  “No, pumpkin,” he said. “You know who the monster is? Your lover, Jon Hawkins. How do you let him touch you, with all that blood on his hands?”

  “Blood that you put there,” I pointed out. My face began to throb but I tried to ignore it. “You blame everybody but yourself. You think by doing this in the name of science, in the name of protecting freedom, that it makes everything okay. Newsflash, it doesn’t. Jon is not a good man. I know that. I’m not blind to what he’s done. But the truth is, if you hadn’t done what you did to him, he never would have done any of it.”

  “And that’s okay?” My grandfather cocked his head to the side, eyes sweeping over his face. “Interesting how one set of justifications is okay, and not another. Tell me, do you like playing God as well?”

  I clenched my teeth together. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to claw at his face and make him bleed. I wanted him to bleed the way he made Jon bleed, made Alex bleed, and everyone else involved. I hated this man. I hated him. I never thought I could hate my family, even if they were bad people. Blood was supposed to be thicker than water, but at the end of the day, it didn’t mean anything.

  Without warning, my grandfather chuckled. “I see the anger in your eyes, Lara,” he said. “I see that adding the serum to your chemical makeup will only enhance your anger. Which is perfect. If you could be the female version of Hawkins, if I could learn how to control the two of you, you would both make a formidable team.”

  “That will never happen,” I growled.

  “And what choice do you have in all of this?” he asked. “You ran away from your job, scared the Big Bad Wolf turned on you. He attacked your interview with Ben Beck, but instead of protecting you, he attacked you. Don’t you remember?”

  I knew this was the story my grandfather planned to concoct, the one he was going to send to the media. It would paint Jon in the worst sort of way. Though the people were afraid of him, wanted him behind bars or even dead, there was a select few who sympathized with him because of the stories I wrote. My job was to make even a fraction of the population of Perry see him as human, and I succeeded. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Perry might not know anything about Jon, but they knew he would never hurt me.

  However, if my grandfather twisted things, if he somehow convinced that small fraction of people that Jon had done something unforgivable to me, everything would be ruined. I couldn’t let that happen, but I wasn’t sure what I could do about it. I needed to reach out to Robby. I needed to get him a message. Robby could hack into the system here, maybe even break me out. I wasn’t sure if I’d escape, but maybe Alex could. Maybe that would be enough.

  “Your mind is turning,” my grandfather pointed out. “Tell me, my dear, what are you thinking?”

  “Can I – can I use the restroom?” I asked, fixing my eyes on him. “And don’t tell me I already have one. I mean, can I have the privacy of relieving myself? Please?”

  My grandfather looked like he didn’t trust me. And honestly, that was fair. I wouldn’t have trusted me either. The difference was, I knew the type of person he was. He thought himself powerful because he was a man and he looked at me like I wasn’t even a woman, but a girl; a girl who needed protection, whether it was my uncle’s, whether it was Jon’s, whether it was his. He didn’t take me seriously – which I could work with.

  “Of course,” he said with a nod. “If you behave yourself, I have no problem working with you. We can come to an agreement together. You realize that, don’t you?” He offered me his hand, which I took. “I think it’s important that you understand that I don’t want to fight with you, my dear. I want to work with you. I wanted the same for Richard, but that boy was so blasted stubborn…”

  I wanted to point out that I was pretty sure it was a genetic trait he got from my grandfather but I didn’t think that was a good idea.

  “This has been my life’s work, and to be able to share it with my own granddaughter…” He let his voice trail off, helping me up. “We’re going to change the world, Lara. I don’t think you realize the impact you are going to have on the scientific community.”

  “By being a monster?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  “Monster is only in the eye of the beholder,” he pointed out. “I take it that you don’t consider Jon Hawkins a monster, do you?”

  “Jon isn’t a saint,” I said. “It’s not like I’m blind to what he’s done. I’m not here pretending anything else than what he really is. But I’m also aware that he is what he is for a reason. And if I take that serum…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I wasn’t sure how to.

  The truth was, I didn’t know how I would react – and that was if I survived the serum at all. I unconsciously reached up for my cross, fingering the points on each side in a clockwise motion. Under normal circumstances, the routine of touching each part would have calmed me. Now, I felt empty, unmoored, like I wasn’t quite sure what to feel. Like God had abandoned me to my fate, and if I wanted help, I would have to save myself.

  “Fear is natural,” he said. He placed his hand on the small of my back as he unlocked my cell. I flinched at his touch, but if he knew my reaction, he did not show it. “I understand. What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?”

  I glanced around as I stepped out of the cell, trying to take everything in. I pretended to trip, grabbing onto my grandfather in order to steady myself. My eyes swept the desks surrounding me. There weren’t any cell phones left lying around, just landlines, though maybe if I could somehow access inside the desk…

  No. It was too great of a risk, at least right now.

  My grandfather steadied me and proceeded to lead me to the restrooms. He kept a grip on me, whether it was because he genuinely didn’t want me to fall again or if it was because he didn’t trust my actions, I didn’t know. It was only when he opened the women’s restroom door did he finally let go of me, which was a relief because I was worried he might actually try and follow me inside.

  Immediately, I looked up. I needed to see if there were any vents I could crawl into or windows I could crawl out of. There was a window, though it was small. I chewed my bottom lip, trying to figure out just how I’d be able to reach the window in the first place. As tall as I was, even standing on my tiptoes didn’t give me the proper access to the window. Hell, I didn’t even know if the window opened at all or if it was there for decoration.

  “Think, Tucker, think,” I murmured to myself.

  I blew out a breath and waited. I wanted to see if I could hear my grandfather on the other side of the door. If I could, there was a good chance he could hear me as well. I wanted to lock the door but I knew that would cause him to suspect what I was doing – if he was even able to hear that at all. So I didn’t.

  Not this time.

  I walked to the end of the stalls and found there was a small supply closet. Frowning, I tried the door only to find it locked. I blew out a breath and began to touch my cross. If only I had something I could use to open it. If there was a stool of some kind, I might be able to reach the window and see if I could open it.

  And then, I stopped. I looked down at my cross. I chewed my bottom lip, running my fingers over the edges. I knew it was sharp and thin enough. I also knew there was a good chance I was going to damage it, and even then, there might not be anything useful on the other side of the door. Everything was a risk. I had to decide if it was a risk worth taking.

  I blew out a breath.

  Of course it was.

  I couldn’t just sit by and let my grandfather stick a serum in me that was going to turn me into a Lycan – or whatever the hell he had planned.

  I undid the chain at the back of my neck and carefully took the necklace in my palm. Kneeling on the floor, I stuck the cross in the lock in the door handle and held my breath. At that moment, there was a loud pounding on the door.

  “Lara?” my grandfather called. “You all right?”

  My heart leapt in my throat and I nearly fell forward. I placed my free hand over my heart, trying to calm myself down. This was not what I needed.

  “Almost done,” I called back, my voice shaky. I hoped he didn’t notice. I took a breath and then another, hoping it wasn’t obvious I was trying to steady myself. “I haven’t gone to the restroom with someone waiting for me outside since elementary school. It’s kind of nerve-racking.”

  “Hurry up,” he said. “I’m not going to wait here all day.”

  I rolled my shoulders back, not bothering to respond. I tilted my head to the side so I’d be able to hear anything that might click. I had never done this before but Robby had, and we had had a discussion about it while we were together – what to anticipate when trying to unlock a door.

  I kept my fingers steady. The last thing I wanted was to break my cross while it was in the small hole. Not only would my grandfather notice my broken necklace, if he found the piece, he’d know what I was trying to do. I continued to shift its position every other second, softly tilting my fingers but not forcing it if it didn’t give. I started to chew my bottom lip.

  This wasn’t working.

  And then, I turned the cross and it didn’t stop. I slowly kept turning it until something clicked.