“Good.” His eyes went to the window. “I already called my men off when I came into the living room alone. Good thing, too, because we expected Hawkins to go out that way, if not out in a body bag.”

  “Why?” I took a step towards him, my nose wrinkling at the thought of Jon being… gone. Dead. “Why would you put him down after everything you already did to him? How is that fair to him?”

  “Fair?” My grandfather itched at his Adam’s apple, chuckling. “Oh, my sweet, girl. Life isn’t fair. But you know this. Why do you think you like journalism? It’s one of the ways you can make sense of the world. You get to control the narrative. You get to make people believe what you believe.”

  “I –“

  “What?” My grandfather narrowed his eyes, and suddenly, I saw him for what he really was. He was charming – now I knew where Richard got it from – but he was manipulative. Cunning. He would strike with precision and with a lethalness just like the scorpion. “You don’t do that? Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, Lara. You can’t honestly tell me that with a straight face when you’ve written countless articles in support of the Big Bad Wolf.”

  “I’m not justifying his behavior,” I said quickly, raising my hands to gesture, to emphasize my point. “I’m trying to get people to understand why he’s doing what he’s doing.”

  “And why is that?” he asked. “Tell me, my dear, because I’d like to know. He’s killing people because we – what? Saved his life?”

  “Why is it not okay to take down people you don’t approve of?” I suddenly asked. “But if you tell him who to kill, that’s okay? You can’t pick and choose who he kills and why, after giving him this power.”

  “Sure, I can,” he said. It was such an emotionless response, so nonchalant, that I balled my fingers into fists at my side and clamped my lips together so I didn’t let out a snarl. “I’m the one who saved his life. I’m the one who created him. I didn’t do that from the kindness of my heart. The medicine that saved him entwined with his biochemistry. It’s a part of him. That beast who lives inside of Jon Hawkins can’t be controlled, especially by the person. Only I can do that.”

  “But you don’t want to control him,” I pointed out. I tried to keep the attitude from my voice. The last thing I wanted was to upset him or frustrate him. I wanted information and I wasn’t going to get any by being petulant. “You want him dead.”

  “I do,” he agreed, placing his hands behind his back. “You see, Lara, Jon was an experiment. Now, I know what I need to do in order to better the experiment. I know what I need to work on. I didn’t take Jon as seriously as I should have. I underestimated his desire for revenge. I assumed that he would just be grateful to be alive. Isolating him – taking away Yvonne, his unit, every semblance of him belonging – seemed like a good idea at the time. I realized I didn’t know what I was doing. Now, I do.”

  “Then why kill him?” I asked. I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear it from him. “You don’t have to kill him. Just rework everything.”

  He grinned in a way that a shiver eased down my spine. I didn’t like the sudden coldness that took over my body. I began to pace back and forth, chewing my bottom lip, trying not to rip the skin off. I needed to think of a way to get my grandfather to see killing Jon wasn’t the best solution.

  I was being naïve. Who was I to think I had it in me to talk my grandfather out of doing something. It wasn’t like we had close family ties that might allow me to use that to my advantage. Even now, my grandfather seemed content to stare me down, to wait until I moved my piece before attacking and destroying. He was always thinking in terms of a war, I realized. Be quicker than the opponent. Destroy. Kill. Capture. Do something so they couldn’t get back up.

  “Of course, I have to kill him,” he said. “Letting him live would be like torture to him. I have to put down the threat.”

  “He isn’t a threat,” I said. “Not to the general public, at least.”

  “Only to my men?” my grandfather questioned. “Only to my women, my team, everyone who took part in saving that man’s life? You think that makes me feel better? I have a duty to protect my team. They were following my orders. I cannot risk letting him live.”

  “What if you cured him?” I burst out.

  My grandfather opened his mouth to respond, but paused. My eyes widened. I didn’t think he was the sort of man who hesitated at all, so this was a big deal. I forced myself to continue quickly, while I still had the upper hand of surprise.

  “I know there’s a cure,” I went on. My legs started to move and I began to pace around the room again. It was difficult for me to control my hand gestures as I did so. “I know you know there’s a cure. Hell, you might have even developed it specifically for cases like this one. Cases where you lose control over your experiments. You literally brought a man back to life. Why condemn him? Cure him.”

  “I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation,” my grandfather said, his tone serious. He placed a hand on the old, battered couch he stood next to, checking at a tear in the seam. “Jon Hawkins is an experiment – one that failed. He has killed multiple people in cold blood. Just because he has a tragic story doesn’t mean he has the right to kill people.”

  “And just because you think you’re doing a good thing for mankind doesn’t mean you get to kill a few people in order to save someone,” I shot back. “Your hands aren’t clean in this either. If we can’t justify Jon’s behavior based on the circumstances that led us to this point, you sure as hell can’t justify killing everyone in Jon’s unit in order to get to Jon.”

  My grandfather pressed his lips together, releasing a breath. I wasn’t sure if that tactic actually worked, but he wasn’t immediately arguing, which had to mean that was a good sign.

  “So,” I continued, taking a step towards him. “Cure him. Take the monster inside of him away. Let him live.”

  “He knows too much, Lara,” my grandfather said. “He knows who’s behind it. He knows what Project Bloodshade is. If word got out, our enemies would be able to come back at us. We’d be in more shit we’re in now.”

  “What if he didn’t?” I asked. I knew without a doubt that Jon would do everything he could to take them out, but I didn’t know if he cared about exposing them. That was more for me, giving me articles and breakout stories that told the truth about the government. In fact, I wasn’t sure he actually cared one way or the other.

  “What if he didn’t what?” He stopped running his fingers on the seam of the couch and looked up at me. His periwinkle eyes reminded me of ice – cold and calculating.

  “What if he didn’t say anything?” I pushed. I resumed my pacing, the idea forming in my mind as I spoke. “What if he just left? You cure him so he can’t turn into this wild animal, and then you let him leave. No fight. No more death.”

  “You mean to tell me Jon Hawkins just leaves Perry without a fight?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I know Jon Hawkins, better than you do, sweetheart, and there’s no way in hell Hawkins just up and leaves.”

  “He might,” I said through gritted teeth. The truth of the matter was, I had no idea if he would or not. My grandfather was probably right. Until Jon got the revenge he so desperately wanted, I highly doubted that he would leave either. But maybe there was a way I could convince him to do just that. Maybe there was something that would inspire him to go. I just wasn’t sure what that was.

  “Really?” He arched a brow. I could tell he was doubtful, but there was part of him that seemed genuinely interested in my thoughts.

  I felt a swell of pride swirl in my chest, and immediately, I tampered it down. I shouldn’t care what this person thought of me. I shouldn’t be proud of myself for gaining his approval or anything else. My body was like a traitor, begging for scraps from its captor when it came to my grandfather and it pissed me off. Why was I this way? Why did I need his approval? I knew it had to do with Richard and how I so desperately craved his, how I never really got it because he was so intent to prove the truth about what happened to his father. And now that I had found my grandfather, now that he was in front of me, it must be that approval from my grandfather was some kind of phantom approval from my uncle, even though my grandfather was evil incarnate.

  I hated myself in that moment, hated how pathetic I was. Maybe Jon was right and talking to this man was not a good idea.

  “I think maybe I could talk some sense into him,” I pushed myself to say when I realized my grandfather was waiting for some kind of explanation. “I know that he hates what he is. If he had a cure, I’m sure he would take it. I’m sure he would leave Perry and never come back.”

  My grandfather stared at me for a long moment. I started to fiddle with my cross, catching his attention. He stepped forward, closer to me. I stilled, but I didn’t step back. I wasn’t sure if it was because part of me trusted this man not to hurt me – which would be incredibly stupid – or if it was because I didn’t want to show my fear. His eyes narrowed as he looked at my cross. Recognition flashed across his eyes. He took a step back.

  “That was your mother’s necklace,” he stated.

  I blinked. “Uh, yeah,” I agreed. “How do you know that? Weren’t you supposed to be dead?”

  He didn’t let the shot affect him. “Who do you think sent that to her?” he asked. “When she died…” His voice trailed off and his body tensed. It was this man I should be afraid of, the indifferent look on his face permeated with tension, the way he could kill and not blink an eye. He cleared his throat. “Well, that was a day I’ll always remember.”

  “You seem to be implying that my parents were killed on purpose,” I said slowly. My voice shook, and I winced. I continued to toy with the cross because I didn’t know what else to do with my hands. “I thought they were killed in a car accident. That was what the report said. Even Richard seemed to think that was the case. And if it hadn’t been, he would know.”

  “Would he?” My grandfather arched a brow, hands on his hips. “You know, your uncle was quite a charmer. The problem with being charming is you tend to think you know everything because you can easily manipulate the people around you. The truth of the matter was, Richard didn’t know much of anything.”

  “He believed you were murdered,” I pointed out. “At least, he knew that Stephanie Guzman was corrupt, her whole family was corrupt, and he suspected that something happened to you. Maybe you aren’t actually dead, but he wasn’t wrong about the Guzman’s.”

  “Why would he be wrong about them? Everyone with a brain and two eyes can see how corrupt the Guzmans were. I allowed them to be that way. If they weren’t, I couldn’t buy my way into the city with my program. As long as I threw money at them, they would look the other way. We had a good deal going, too. But then Hawkins showed up like the goddamn angel of death and began to ruin everything.”

  I tried to let his words sink in quickly. I tried to understand what he was saying.

  “You set up shop here, paying the Guzmans to look the other way,” I said slowly. “Aren’t you sanctioned by the government? Why would you need to pay them to keep quiet.” My mind started to catch up. “Because this wasn’t sanctioned, was it? The government doesn’t actually know about Project Bloodshade.” My eyes went wide.

  “They know about Project Bloodshade,” he said. “We have to get our funding from someplace. Hell, you tracked down Sonya Crawford, didn’t you? You discovered –“

  “Sonya Crawford isn’t real,” I said. “Well, she is, but not in the context of Project Bloodshade.”

  My grandfather smirked. “Smart girl,” he said.

  “Why are you here?” I asked, shaking my head. I was trying to figure out these secret messages, the riddles in his words. “You tell me someone killed my parents on purpose, and then you don’t say who that was. Then, you talk about Jon, about putting him down, about –“

  “My job is to keep Perry safe,” my grandfather said, interrupting me. “This is my project, which means Jon Hawkins is my responsibility. He’s turned into a liability. I have no choice but to put him down.”

  “And the cure?” I asked. “If there’s a cure, would that change things?”

  “No,” he said. “It would not.”

  Chapter 4

  I needed to figure out what the hell I was doing now that I knew my grandfather was alive and he was planning on killing Jon. On top of that, he seemed to think that my parents were targeted, but never fully explained why. He was teasing me with information, information he knew I would want. And unfortunately, he was right.

  “I-I have to go,” I said, running my fingers through my hair. I couldn’t look at him, didn’t want to. I was worried he might be able to read my face and tell him what I was thinking. Part of me wasn’t even sure what that was, and had no idea what to do at this point. Did I stay in this place where Hugo Guzman was killed? Where his blood stained the carpet and overwhelmed my senses? Where my grandfather was, ready to force me out of every bit of information I had?

  Or did I leave? Did I go to Robby and Gwen and maybe even Jon and tell them everything?

  “We’ll talk soon,” my grandfather said.

  “No,” I returned. “We won’t. We can’t.”

  My grandfather reached out and took my wrist in his hand. While the grip wasn’t harmful, it was firm. He wanted my attention. He wanted me to understand that whatever he was about to say was serious.

  “We will,” he repeated. “In the time you aren’t with me, I want you to think about where you see yourself in a year, two. Is Jon Hawkins really someone you’d be willing to throw your future away for?”

  I thought about it. In all honesty, I hadn’t stopped and considered the consequences of my relationship with Jon. Before now, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was him. All that mattered was getting his story out there, about telling the truth and informing Perry what was really going on. Now, though, I realized that even the truth had consequences. And I needed to figure out if I wanted to deal with them.

  “Why would I have to throw my future away for him?” I asked. I wanted to touch my cross again, but I held back. Knowing it was from my grandfather made it both a symbol of hope and a symbol of confusion and lies. It wouldn’t offer my comfort. Not until I came to terms with everything.

  “You know that a relationship between the two of you isn’t possible, Lara,” he said. “It’s only going to end in heartbreak. Whether that’s because you realize he’s using you for information, to try and poison the minds of Perry against their government or because you’re using him for a headline, you’re both using each other.”

  “Jon and I both have the same end goal,” I bit out. “We want the truth.”

  “No.” My grandfather shook his head. “Jon wants revenge. You want the truth. But not about Jon. You want the truth about me. About Richard. About our family. Whether you realize it or not, that puts you in a different position on the game board. You think you’re on the same team, but you aren’t. You won’t be. Not when he finds out.”

  “When he finds out what?” I asked. My eyes pricked with tears. I was tired of the lies. Tired of the tears. I just wanted answers. It shouldn’t be that hard to get answers from him.

  “When he finds out how deeply involved this family was on Project Bloodshade,” my grandfather said. “Your parents were helping the project. Why do you think they died? Someone found out what they were doing.”

  I blinked. My head got light. I stumbled back. If my grandfather didn’t step forward, I would have fallen down. As it was, he had his fingers wrapped protectively around my wrist and slowly eased me to the edge of the couch where I could get a better handle on my emotions, be able to collect myself. I released a breath and then another.

  “You’re lying,” I said. My voice came out weak, inexperienced. I had no idea if he was actually lying but it felt good to say.

  “I’m not, and deep down, you know I’m not,” my grandfather replied. “Your mother knew I was alive. She was working for me. She wanted to help me. As a scientist, she would know how to select the proper test subjects. She would know what to do. We ran so many tests, with her leading the charge, and each one was more successful than the last. She was brilliant, the best thing I ever did with my life.”

  I shook my head. Each word was like a paper cut, ripping open my skin, making me bleed. My mother worked for my grandfather? My father as well? This didn’t make any sense.

  “Who do you think killed them?” I asked. “You said you knew who it was. Who do you think did that?”

  “That’s a discussion for another time,” my grandfather said. He stood up and stood in front of me, shoulders back, hands behind his back. In that moment, his military training seeped out of him. He was a soldier through and through, even with someone like me. “Right now, you need to do me a favor.”

  I scoffed and looked down at my lap. I placed my hands on my thighs and rubbed the denim. It wasn’t like I was cold, but it felt like I was trying to keep myself warm by doing it.

  “Why would I do you a favor?” I asked.

  “Because you’re in love with Jon Hawkins,” he said. Though his words weren’t biting, they cut into me more than I expected. “And you’d do anything for him.”

  I clenched my teeth. I wanted to contradict the claim but I couldn’t. He was right. And there was nothing I could do about it. I was in love with Jon Hawkins, like the fool I was. It was something I resisted entirely, something I couldn’t help. I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to acknowledge it, not even to myself. It would just complicate things because, despite my love for him, despite how much I genuinely cared about him, I knew he was never mine.

  “What do you want me to do?” I asked through gritted teeth.

  “That’s no way to talk to your grandfather,” he said unexpectedly.

  I blinked once. All fear I had of this man left my body. I always had an issue with people telling me what to do, especially people who I didn’t feel had the right to do that.