Suddenly, something didn’t make sense. How did Priya see him if she was tucked away safely? Maybe it was a typo or something? I shook my head and continued on.

  There was a digital drawing of a man with sharp angles, dark hair, black eyes and dark wings. He looked like a evil angel, or something out of a comic book. The epitome of the villain in an adventure novel. But there was darkness swirling around him, and a grin that didn’t look feral, exactly, but rather full of knowledge. I shuddered.

  Is this how Priya described the demon she saw?

  His name was a hyperlink so I clicked on it, and it listed out information and confrontations that had happened with this particular demon. The first date was five years after the first attack in England, when he appeared to Priya Banks-Haldar.

  This time the information was short and nondescript. It said she had just spotted him, no contact. Something about that felt very odd. There were three other links, each spanning five years apart. The next link also claimed that Priya had seen him, but there was no contact. But in the last two, she engaged. In the final one, there were other names listed as well.

  The first time, the report said she chased him and they exchanged words, but it didn’t say much else about what the demon was. Something about that also felt super weird. Why wouldn’t there be more information, considering the detailed reports on her parents’ deaths?

  The last report had just happened six months ago. Priya said, in Taeler’s office, she hadn’t seen a demon in a long time. Why would she lie about that?

  I clicked on the report, and realization hit.

  She had almost died from this encounter.

  The other names, they were all dead. Five deaths from this one encounter.

  This one was detailed and it sliced through me, cutting even deeper than the news of her parents. Priya had been on a mission with her team. They were attacked, and Priya was the only one who was left alive.

  I fought the wave of nausea that swirled in my stomach. How could she have faced so much death in her life already?

  The others didn’t have pictures. It said that the scene and the people were too heinous and unrecognizable to show on the site, that out of respect for their families and their loved ones, the images were only accessible by certain personnel. But what exactly does that mean? Priya’s parents’ deaths had been gruesome and disturbing. Why is this information being safeguarded? What exactly had been done to those people, and what had Priya gone through that evening?

  Priya’s entire team…dead.

  It did show evidence of Priya, and my insides rolled again. I held my hand to my mouth to keep from vomiting.

  She had claw marks across her torso, from her hip to her shoulder, and it mentioned fractured bones, blood loss, and several other things. A picture of the scene showed her own chains wrapped around her like they were trying to hold her together, as too much blood seeped from her wounds.

  Was it only her own blood, or someone from her team’s as well? One of her arms was stretched out like she was reaching for someone, her expression was laced with pain. If I didn’t know that Priya was alive and well now, I would have guessed this was a picture of her death. She had too many injuries, too much blood loss. How had she recovered?

  My heart slammed into my belly and I held my breath as I read that Emir had found her, and she suffered amnesia from the experience. She couldn’t recall all the events of the night and had been temporarily suspended from the special ops team for six months. She had no memory of her team being ambushed and murdered.

  I closed my eyes. I couldn’t imagine not remembering something like that.

  I checked the report date: six months from last week.

  She would have been reinstated to the special demon slayer squad by now. I didn’t know what to do with this information. How the hell do you recover from that? Is she seriously still going to go out demon hunting after what happened? My brain couldn’t even compute the trauma she had gone through.

  Guilt washed over my body as I digested everything I’d learned. I shouldn’t have been snooping around, even if it was readily available information. I should’ve waited for her to tell me. But I couldn’t hold on to this secret. I needed to talk to her. I needed to look into her eyes and see that she is alive and well. The images of her skin in ribbons and her chains holding the pieces of her belly together were cemented into my brain.

  I had to tell her that I don’t need to keep her at arm’s length in regards to us. I want her. I want to feel her hands around me and kiss the scars and pain away, which doesn’t make much sense since we’ve only known each other for, like, a month or so, and we just had our first kiss a week ago. But damn, did it make my heart rip in two to see all this.

  Her whole goddamn squad had been torn apart by this bastard. I couldn’t imagine the pain and heartache she was most likely still going through. How is she doing only six months after the most traumatic thing I’d ever seen or read about in my entire life?

  Not to mention, if she was going up against this particular demon again, what would happen? It seemed like Priya was more than capable of handling herself. I could only imagine that her team had been just as strong as she was. What monstrous powers do demons have to be able to do what was described in those reports?

  I started to wonder how this could’ve happened in the first place. Isn’t the queen of the afterworld supposed to keep demons locked away permanently in her prison? Why hasn’t she stepped in to help in the last ten years? It’s another mystery to be solved. And how many GKs would have to die for this cause in the meantime?

  I needed to see Priya.

  I was the only deathwalker that they knew of. I could go to the afterlife. Talk to the queen. Understand what was going on. Then help. So Priya wouldn’t be haunted by this beast for the rest of her life. I didn’t want this demon to take anything else from anyone ever again.

  How many others have demons who are just waiting for the perfect moment to attack them in the dark? What had occurred in the last ten years to make things escalate to such violence?

  I needed to be a part of this solution.

  I grabbed my coat and headed out the door, shoving a hat on my head and shooting off a text to Mara about not waiting up for me.

  I stepped out into the cold and headed to the bar.

  I didn’t get that far because, as I hopped off the train and headed toward Priya, I caught movement in the corner of my eye. I should’ve kept going, but what I saw didn’t feel normal.

  Since learning everything I had recently, I greedily wanted to see a ghost or soul, so I turned right into a dark alleyway and followed the figure to the end, popping out on the other side and looking down the cold, dark streets. People littered the sidewalk and I almost didn’t see the blur of white energy before it disappeared behind a stone building. My heart raced and I flexed my fingers in excitement. Finally!

  I hurried after it and continued to play this game of cat and mouse until I realized that I was very far away from the bar. At this point, I should’ve called an Uber to take me there because it was freezing and I was nearly breathless chasing something that I was definitely not catching.

  I reached for my phone and clicked on the Uber app, only to realize both my app and my maps showed nothing.

  Um….

  I looked around the empty streets and swallowed. Being a woman in an isolated part of the city was not exactly the safest move.

  Fuck.

  How did I actually have no idea where I was? This made absolutely no sense. The excited energy I had earlier sizzled away as quickly as it had come on.

  “Lost, darling?” a dark, inhuman voice asked from behind me. It was like a cold turned sharper. Instead of a constant pressing against my body, it was like a knife slicing straight to my bones.

  Slowly, I turned around.

  He looked human. He was tall, broad, and tanned, with blonde hair sweeping across his brow. He was impeccably dressed but, despite his sunny, all-American-boy look, he had an edge. His eyes were navy blue, almost black, and there was a darkness that seemed to seep from him. I felt like I should be afraid. But he felt…familiar, like the hard iciness that had slapped against my back had been transformed into something warm and soothing.

  There were too many sensations happening in the moment and I could barely keep my head straight. I didn’t understand if he was a friend or foe. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he offered a small, amused smile as if we were sharing a secret.

  “No, I’m fine,” I said, trying to sound confident but feeling uneasy.

  “Walk with me, Lincoln.” He held out the crook of his elbow, his eyebrow arching as his voice moved around me like silk.

  “Do I have a choice?” I asked, not moving a muscle. I glanced at my phone, trying to decide if I could call for help. But there was no service.

  He laughed, the sound loud and rumbling. “I suppose you don’t. You also don’t have enough time to call for any friends, so why don’t you just take my word that I will do you no harm.”

  I didn’t trust a damn word he said but I didn’t have any other options, so I slipped my gloved hand through his offered arm and fell into step next to him.

  I should’ve been more afraid, but fear wasn’t the most pressing feeling. It was this sense of knowing him and this unease, like a warning in my gut that danger wasn’t imminent, but coming on the horizon.

  We walked the empty streets with crates on either side and metal warehouses surrounding us. Where had I been tricked into going?

  We walked for several minutes before I could no longer bear the silence.

  “How do you know my name?” I gazed up at him. “And what do you want with me? Because I can’t imagine it’s an icy stroll. And why do I feel like you're familiar even if I know we’ve never met before? And where the hell are we? Are we still in Chicago? Why is my phone dead weight right now?” He looked at me and laughed again, which was starting to become an annoying sound.

  Suddenly, we weren’t alone. There were souls, ghosts, wraiths, and demons in my perimeter, like a giant circle was cast around me and my new friend. I blinked, and it was gone, like an illusion that hadn’t been real in the first place. There one minute and gone the next. I stopped and swept my head back and forth.

  “What’s going on?” I pulled my hand free and backed up.

  “Think of me as your guardian angel.” He smirked.

  “I don’t believe in angels.” I squinted at him and crossed my arms.

  “You were only able to access your sight recently. I’ve been close to you for years. You could never see me, but you could feel me.” He casually picked an invisible piece of lint off of his dark coat. “I protected you from this.” He gestured to the perimeter around me, and it flickered to reveal the afterworld leaking into the mortal realm. I involuntarily backed up closer to him, afraid of the monsters coming closer.

  “When I accessed my sight, there was a buffer and a dark figure. Was that you?” I asked. I was confused because, if he’s my protector, shouldn’t I feel safe? Except I didn’t. I felt more on edge. Like he could stab me in the back at any moment.

  “Yes, and those are all the things I’ve kept at bay. Of course, a few of them slipped through the realm walls from time to time, which I very much regret.” He held out his elbow again as we continued to walk, sweeping his gaze around me and flickering his eyes towards the sky.

  I didn’t take it this time and stuffed my hands inside my pockets instead. What kind of guardian angel lets you almost die from what they’re supposed to be protecting you from? If this man was an angel, he was a shitty one for sure.

  “What do you want?” I asked, a bit more harshly this time.

  “Is that really any way to talk to your protector?” He smiled wolfishly.

  Something about this was wrong despite the familiarity of his presence. My skin tingled, as if warning me about a danger, but I couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening.

  Too much had occurred in the last week. Too much was happening now, and I felt like I was drowning. My thoughts were slow and I was trying to seem confident, but my body felt heavy. My head, cloudy. This otherworldly being—a guardian angel, my ass—was absolutely not a good sign.

  I needed to get away from him. My red-flag meter was telling me to run. I felt like I was slipping on something, like smoke between my fingertips. I couldn’t hold on to it and it was gone before I could really get a clear thought on it.

  “I simply wanted to test this new boundary,” he said vaguely, gesturing between us. “You’ll know more soon enough, be careful of your little gatekeepers.” Suddenly, he stood behind me, his breath against my ear and his hand running down my arm. He snapped in my other ear, jarring me.

  I blinked and I was in front of the bar. I looked around for my guardian angel but he was nowhere to be seen.

  I swallowed and turned away from Priya.

  I couldn’t go in, not right now. I needed to sort out my thoughts and I couldn't do that with alcohol. So I headed home, wondering what, exactly, I was supposed to do with what had just happened.

  13

  I texted Priya the next morning and asked if she wanted to come over. I had slept on the events of last night, and I needed to tell her what happened. Plus, Priya hadn’t met Mara yet, even though I had spilled the details about our kiss and our budding relationship. Mara was so happy that she nearly squeezed the life out of me.

  I spent most of the morning gushing over Priya and how amazing she is. Mara listened intently and smiled broadly.

  Priya being a woman didn’t even faze Mara. She said, and I quote: “I’ll love whoever you love. Put a label on your sexuality or don’t. All that matters is that you like it and you like who you’re seeing.” My heart melted just thinking about it.

  With everything going on, it’s nice to have her in my corner supporting me. She’s the only one in my life right now who actually knows everything; a beautiful mix of the past and present colliding together. I’m so thankful to have a friend like her.

  I scrolled on TikTok while Mara watched Queer Eye on the couch. There was an abrupt knock on the door.

  “Are you ready?!” I squealed, looking at Mara.

  She sat up straight and smirked. “Girl, yes. Open the fucking door!”

  I jumped off the couch, checked out my hair in the mirror next to our front door, and took a deep breath. This wasn't that big of a deal, but it kinda was. It wasn’t that we were, like, official or anything…it just felt like it meant something. This is the first time I was really recognizing my own sexuality and stepping into this new identity without Isaac; like a new chapter in my book, and I was beyond ready for it.

  “If you don’t open the door, Linc, I will,” Mara said from behind me on the couch, her eyes narrowing at me. I laughed and opened the door.

  “Hi! I’ve missed you this week!” I squealed, opening the door expecting to see Priya’s bronze skin and flowing hair. Instead, Isaac stood in the hallway. My heart dropped to my stomach and I froze.

  Fuck.

  My body was not ready to see him. I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. I didn’t even know where to begin with him. What, exactly, was I supposed to say to him?

  “Isaac?” I sputtered, confused. The smile on his face faltered.

  Was he expecting some sort of warm welcome? I had been purposefully ignoring and blocking his attempts to contact me for the past month a half. Who does he think he is, showing up here and feeling entitled to my time in my home?

  “You were expecting someone else?” he asked. Confusion, hurt, and anger flashed across his features.

  I balled my hands into fists and dug my fingernails in. He had no right to be angry. He had no right to anything at all when it came to me.

  “You aren’t answering my calls or texts.” He folded his arms across his broad chest. His dark hair was a little longer, and even though his skin was tanned it looked waxy, like he hadn't been eating much or something.

  My head swam, trying to piece together an appropriate reaction. The grief and anger that swirled around me ebbed and ached, but it was mourning. Not heartache. Mourning a whole life, a whole version of me that didn’t fit into my new reality. The anger tried to pull me. I wanted to scream and beat my fists against his dumb face but I felt rooted to my spot, unable to find my voice or anything else for that matter.

  “Um…,” was all that came out. I wanted to yell at him and tell him I had realized that I deserve better. That my life is different now. That I am so far away from being in the same space as he is. It was almost comical.

  Truthfully, I had pushed Isaac aside in my head to a special place that I hadn’t visited in a while, with everything else going on. It still soaked into my life, but it was like a small wound that continually oozed instead of a gaping slash to my heart. I had compartmentalized the breakup and the wedding to another part of my brain, where it couldn’t hurt me. I had fortified my emotional walls. There was absolutely no place for him anywhere in my heart.

  He searched my eyes and I’m sure he expected to see something else. Hurt? Anger? Embarrassment? But a new Lincoln looked out. I had risen from the dumpster fire that he set, like a phoenix from the ashes. Who I was before barely exists anymore. How do you explain that to someone who you spent years with but who never truly loved and accepted who you are?

  “Can I come in?” he asked, taking a step forward. I opened my mouth to say I would really rather he not, when Priya came into view down the hall. Her eyes flickered from him to me and registered the panicked look on my face before they started simmering.

  “Linc?” He took another step toward me, reaching for my arm. I backed away, not wanting any physical contact between us. It made me physically ill. Why, in God’s name, did he decide to show up at my place?

  Priya and I are so new that I don’t want to drag her into this mess. But she was there to help me pick up the pieces before we were even friends, when she was just a bartender and I was just a heartbroken girl. And fuck it, I wanted her, not Isaac’s entitled ass.