“Yes. I will work here. For this. I want to help,” I said, knowing in the back of my brain that this was what I had been searching for. No wonder nothing had worked before. My life had been leading me towards this, and I just didn’t know it. Too bad it had taken such a damn long time to find it, but I was glad I made it.

  Priya reached over and grabbed my hand.

  “Thank you, Lincoln,” she smiled wide and I nearly melted.

  “Okay well, then you’ll start next month! Grey will get your information so he can send you all the paperwork and ways to explain your cover to your human friends and loved ones. You can only tell the people closest to you what you are and what we are, and you will need to clear it with us before you do so. That way, you have enough time to wrap up your current job and tell your friends and family about the cover, and it will give you some time to process all that you’ve heard here,” Emir said, standing up and smiling at me and Priya.

  A month seemed like too soon and too far away, all at the same time.

  He walked around towards the couch and held out his hand for me to shake. I barely reached his chest but I stood up straight and shook his hand firmly.

  “Welcome aboard, deathwalker,” he said, winking at me.

  “Happy to be here, gatekeeper,” I replied, hoping this playful banter would lighten the mood.

  “Now we celebrate!” Priya said, pulling me away from her brother and laughing in her bright and husky way.

  I felt the pain of Isaac’s betrayal and my midlife crisis ease a little, like the rough edges of the past week were starting to smooth out. I laughed too, and let Priya drag me towards the door.

  9

  “Are you sure this is a good idea, considering what happened last time you drank?” Priya teased after our fourth or fifth shot of tequila. I’m not great at keeping track.

  “You’re bursting my fun bubble,” I said, slurring a bit and poking her in the shoulder. This was fun drinking. Celebratory drinking. Not drowning my sorrows in sadness drinking like when we first met.

  We were sitting at “Deathwalker Tavern” and someone else from the Society was serving tonight. Vera, a pretty Asian-American woman with bleach blonde hair striped with pink and a hoop through her septum. She was animated and fun, chatting with us easily and pouring drinks like they were going out of style.

  The place had that same magical, romantic feeling again that transported me to a different world. In some ways, it was another world, especially after all I’d learned tonight.

  “Gimme all the tequila!” I threw my hands in the air as Priya laughed and slung her arm around me.

  “Okay love, one more and then I gotta cut you off, okay?” She smiled, her gold eyes twinkling.

  “I think I’m lost in your eyes,” I said, holding her face in between my hands.

  She stilled, her mouth quivered, and her pupils dilated. It was like her energy drew me in, pulling me closer every time I looked at her. I didn’t know if that had ever happened with anyone else before.

  “I could say the same to you.” Her fingertips brushed my temple as she tucked my hair behind my ear. I don’t know how long I stayed there holding her face, but I really didn't want to let her go.

  “Last round, ladies!” Vera’s voice snapped me out of my drunken obsession with Priya’s face, which admittedly was weird, and I should probably stop doing weird things like that. I grabbed my shot and handed the other to her.

  “What should we toast to?” I asked, looking at her intensely again.

  “New beginnings.” She clinked her glass to mine and we shot the clear liquid down. That was what I needed. My heart was still raw but I felt optimistic about what this new future would hold. Deep down I knew grieving would take time. For the wedding, for Isaac, for the loss of my previous reality. But I was feeling excited for better days ahead.

  Then my thoughts traveled back to how Grey and Emir looked at one another. Suddenly, my small shining light of optimism fizzled out, and I felt edgy and vulnerable again.

  “Emir and Grey seem deeply in love,” I blurted out, letting the words fall flat.

  “They are,” Priya said, raising one sculpted, dark brow. No judgment, just curiosity.

  “I thought Isaac and I were, but I don’t think you lie to the person you love. I think he never looked at me like that because he was hiding a lot in our relationship. He said what I wanted to hear, but he never actually believed it.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. “I wish I would have realized it sooner. But at the same time, I’m glad I know the truth now.” Rage and sadness filled Priya’s eyes.

  “I think people can be cowards in love, which is no real love at all,” she said carefully, scanning my face. “Do you want to be with him anymore?” she questioned, pinning me with her gaze. It was a valid question. Lots of people get back together with their exes. I mean, hell, Isaac and I did that a couple of times. But now I knew that our relationship would never have a place in my life again.

  “No. Not now. Not ever, ” I confessed, truly meaning every word.

  A few moments of silence followed. I scanned her face and ended up looking at her painted red lips. Do I normally look at people’s lips? I didn’t think so. So why was I doing that to Priya?

  “Let’s get you home, Linc, my love.” Her words snapped my eyes back up to hers, and she gave a small, wicked grin that made my insides turn warm.

  “I don’t…I don’t want to go home and talk to Mara about today. I don’t know how to explain it to her. I know I’m not supposed to tell her, and I’m just not sure how to do that. I tell Mara everything,” I said.

  She’s my best friend. I wanted to spill my guts to her but I hardly knew anything at all. And Emir said there were procedures in place to protect the mortal realm. I was not about to be the first deathwalker to destroy the human race. Plus, I didn’t want to endanger Mara or make a confusing mess out of things. I would tell her the truth through the proper channels but I wasn’t ready, by any means, to do it right now.

  “Can I, uh…can I go home with you?” I asked, hoping she would say yes so I could collect my thoughts on all that had happened in my life since I met her. Priya felt steady and calm. Maybe spending more time with her would allow that energy to rub off on me and I wouldn’t be so damn nervous to face Mara.

  Priya did that thing again where she looks into your soul, and finally said, “Of course. Let’s go. Bye, Vera,” she said, waving to her friend. Vera flashed a smile while she poured more drinks.

  For the second time in a week, I spent the night at Priya’s. It felt oddly normal to go home with her.

  For the next month, I wrapped up all my social media marketing clients and told my family and friends that I’d gotten a new exciting job as a marketing specialist at this cool, innovative tech company: GK Inc. Everyone was excited and asked all the typical new job questions, except for Mara.

  “What are you going to be doing?”

  “How did you find this opportunity?”

  “Are you excited?”

  “What, exactly, does this tech company do?”

  The document Emir sent me covered everything, and it was a breath of fresh air to have it all done for me. I’d been spending quite a bit of time with Priya, peppering her with questions and asking her to tell me stories about gatekeeper history and the afterlife.

  I had also been trying to figure out how to tell Mara what was going on. I had gotten their full permission to share it with her, but I wasn’t really ready to explain it yet. She was happy for my new job but I could tell she was a little skeptical, and knew something was off. I mean, she knows everything about me, and I was acting very weird and avoidant, which was a sure sign that something was up.

  I mean, first off, I hate corporate work. Like, truly hated it with a vengeance when I did it a few years back. It was also a bit fishy that I was suddenly pumped for a position at a tech company, when she knew damn well I was the least tech savvy human on the planet. There were so many things that seemed sketchy, and Mara’s great at sniffing out bullshit.

  Oddly, the part of me that accepted all of this seemed to overshadow the part of me that felt broken and hurt by my breakup. It was like I’d begun a new life after that singular event, and this new life fit in a way my old one never did. It wasn’t to say that I wasn’t grieving my life before but rather, I was coming to terms with fact that it wasn’t a life I wanted anymore. I wanted this new life. This felt like my purpose, my destiny.

  I could tell Mara was suspicious as hell about how I was handling everything. I would find her watching me while I was singing or dancing around the kitchen, like she was waiting for me to spontaneously combust into tears and collapse onto the floor. I was only a little pouty when I saw cute couples on the street now. I tried to hide my look of disdain by turning away or quickly walking by them, which I felt was a great amount of growth, all things considered.

  Above all, I felt relief. Relief and calm, knowing that this is what I was supposed to be doing and everything else before had just been a buildup to it.

  Did I think I was ready to be this great hero between the realms? Hell no!

  But I knew that I could help. I wanted to find my sense of purpose and discover what made me, well…me. It felt like I was settling deeper into myself.

  It was the Sunday night before my first day on the “job” with Priya, and tomorrow we planned to work on why my sight wasn’t functioning the way it should. Apparently, we’d be meeting with some elders who were experts in helping young gatekeepers hone their sight skills. I was excited and nervous, like genuine new job vibes.

  Mara was in the kitchen and I was reading a book on my iPad when an email notification popped up. It was from one of the wedding vendors. I waited for a black hole of heartache in my stomach to appear.

  It didn’t.

  I couldn’t even fathom how, a month ago, I was planning to marry Isaac. I had ignored all his calls and texts since then. Even if we were still together, I never could’ve explained all this to him. And I didn’t want to. I was done having people in my life who I couldn’t be completely honest with, and who couldn’t be honest with me.

  I should’ve been more upset.

  I should’ve become a puddle on the floor.

  But I couldn’t even bring myself to muster up that emotion. The Lincoln before, who was blindly in love, simply didn’t exist anymore because something else had taken root.

  “Hey, you know, I don’t think I need you to take care of the wedding vendor stuff. I can do it,” I said, calling over my shoulder to Mara, where I heard something clatter to the counter.

  “Seriously?” she asked in disbelief.

  I turned around, and she was standing in her typical attire: a crop tank with leggings and slippers. Her hair was fully natural tonight, creating a halo of dark corkscrew curls around her face.

  “Uh, yeah. Seriously.” I tugged on my own pigtail braids.

  “Okay. I have been waiting for you to tell me what the hell is going on with you, but like, are you okay? Because you seem…too okay? I’m here for your healing in whatever way you need to do that but Linc, you literally called off your wedding a little over a month ago and you’re acting like nothing happened. You’re singing and dancing around the kitchen like you're in love again or something!” She planted her hands on her hips. I didn’t want to lie to her. I knew this needed to be the moment I told her what was actually going on.

  Fuck. I was really not prepared for this.

  Emir had sent over so many resources and a ton of information. But they did not send over a brochure about how to completely flip your best friend's world upside down with talk of the afterlife and your ability to die and come back.

  “Linc?” she asked, her mouth turned down in a frown and her hazel eyes filled with concern.

  “I need to tell you something about my new job,” I said, scanning her face.

  “Literally, what does that have to do with your relationship status?” she asked.

  “Just sit your ass down and listen,” I said, grinning at her.

  “Fine. You don't need to be a bossy bitch.” She shuffled over to sit across from me on our sectional.

  “Okay. I don’t…I don’t exactly know how to say this, but um…I died the other night?” I said it like a question because I was desperately trying to figure out where to begin. How do you delicately destroy someone’s reality?

  “Like, emotionally?” she asked, confused.

  “No, like literally. I was hit by a taxi.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “But you’re alive.” She spoke slowly, like I had grown two pink horns out of my head.

  “Yes, I am a deathwalker.” Then I started into everything that Emir had told me.

  She just sat there, eyes wide, listening to me the whole time before I finished with, “So yeah. I sort of feel like who I was before doesn’t exist, and when I came back to my body that day I left behind who I was before. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like that was Part One of my life and this is Part Two. Almost like my life is, like, its own book duology. And book one is over. It doesn’t have a hold on me anymore.”

  She looked at me and started laughing.

  “Only you would explain it like that, Linc. For the record, I actually believe you. You had way too many close calls as a kid and sometimes, I swear to god, when we went out in college, you actually did die. I nearly died myself sometimes from a heart attack because of it. So weirdly, this makes sense. I accept you as is and love you no matter what, so even if you are lying or hallucinating or something, I accept it. Even though I don’t think you are.” She reached out her hand and placed it on my thigh.

  “Thank you for telling me. I’m just glad your weird mood isn’t because you killed and buried Isaac outside of our apartment building because honestly, that would make me want to sing and dance through the kitchen too. And I would’ve been pissed that you waited this long to tell me and didn’t ask me to help you bury the body.” she said, shrugging.

  This time I burst out laughing.

  “Okay, no one is getting murdered here. We are not becoming a story on someone’s crime podcast. But I’m glad you know now. I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out, I just didn’t know how and honestly, I don’t know that much. But I feel like this is what I’m supposed to be doing, like everything else before just didn’t make sense in my life, and now it does,“ I said, scrunching up my brows. “But you can’t tell anyone. This is top secret shit. I cannot be the one responsible for spilling the beans on a secret that has been around since the earth began, okay?” I eyed her sternly.

  “I know, babe. Your secrets are always safe with me,” she said, coming over for a big hug. “I knew you were destined for big things. Who knew it was to practically star in your own version of the Walking Dead?!” She laughed, pulling me tight.

  “I am not a zombie!” I said, squealing and trying to wrestle out of her vice grip.

  “If you go for my brains, I will kill you,” she said, pulling away and giggling as I grabbed one of the pillows and smacked her upside the head.

  “Fuck you!” I said, as she slammed a pillow in my face and we erupted into laughter.

  10

  I was practically fizzling with energy when I met Priya at the bar, and we headed to the GK headquarters.

  “What do you call this place? Because I just keep calling it a lair, like I’m in a Marvel movie or something,” I said, as she guided us through the corridors. “And how the hell do you know how to navigate this shit?” I gestured to the heavy black doors in the hallway surrounding us. Excitement hummed through my body.

  Priya had given me some information, but not a ton. She said a lot of it I would be learning soon, from the experts who taught her. I had been whining and pleading with her the past month for any scrap of information.

  “You can call it a lair. I think it’s cute. But the official name is the GK Directory Hall,” she said with a laugh and a swish of her high ponytail. Her dark cheeks were still a little pink from the cold, and she wore high-waisted maroon pants with a black turtleneck and silver combat boots. She had silver chains wrapped around her chest, almost like a vest.

  Who knew chains were so fashionable?

  “And my sight shows me what door is what. They’re all labeled accordingly. You just can’t see it yet, love.” She flashed a smile between dark purple lips.

  I wondered why people don’t use love more often in an English accent because, honestly, it makes me feel like a royal princess or something. My toes curl every time she uses it, and my belly flutters in a weird way. I tried not to dwell on it too much.

  After a few turns, we arrived at another nondescript door. Priya paused and squared her shoulders. She’s even taller than normal in her combat boots. I looked up at her expectantly.

  “We’re going to the Canadian office today to meet with Taeler. He’ll know how to help with your sight. And he’ll explain the hierarchy of afterlife beings so you can identify them when your sight is trained. This door goes straight to his office, and he’s waiting for us. You ready?” She laid her tattooed hand against the door.

  “Yes,” I smiled broadly. I placed my hand on top of hers and it emitted warmth.

  “I want to feel it, the magic,” I said, looking at her. Something swam behind her golden eyes, and her gaze didn’t leave mine as words tumbled out of her mouth in a caress. It’s a beautiful language that I don’t understand. Her hand heated up, and mine tingled as the door swung inward.

  “Let’s go,” she said, clearing her throat.

  I walked through first, into a large office that looked almost identical to Emir’s. There was a tall man with dark brown skin and dark, close-cropped hair sitting behind a desk. He smiled broadly as we stepped in. He got up and walked around the desk, reaching for Priya.