I peeked over at them, noting Grey’s empathetic expression. Emir looked like he had drifted off somewhere a million miles away.

  I swallowed. “So, prepare me to go to the afterlife. Let me do what I am supposed to do. Help me become strong and ready to speak with the queen and figure out what the hell is going on here, because I have a sinking feeling that whatever’s happening isn’t fucking good. That girl ran from me! Some sketchy shit’s going down in the afterlife and on Earth and, for the first time in my life, this feels like what I’m supposed to be doing, so please let me help. Let me do what no one else can!” My voice raised, tears burning my eyes and scratching at my throat. There was a pause and the silence felt stifling. I held my breath. I didn't need their permission, but I wanted their help and this was the best way to get it.

  “Okay,” Emir said, looking at Grey and Priya.

  “Okay.” Priya didn’t look at me.

  “So when do I go to the afterworld?” I asked, setting my shoulders and narrowing my gaze.

  Priya got up then and rubbed her hand across her brow. “When we think you’re ready. Can I talk to you privately, Lincoln?” She extended her hand and a flood of emotions threatened to knock me over. The last time someone said they wanted to talk to me, I got dumped, fully and painfully so.

  I swallowed and nodded my head tightly and grabbed her hand, allowing her to pull me down the hallway towards the directory hall door. But instead of heading there, she opened a door to the right and we stepped into a small, cozy office with two oversized chairs, a desk, a bookshelf, and Priya’s personal things scattered throughout the space.

  I shut the door behind us and tried to quell the feeling of wanting to throw up from rising from my stomach. Was Priya going to end things before they really started because I found out that information about her and her parents?

  “What did you, um, want to talk about?” I asked, trying to keep tears out of my eyes. I wasn’t ready to let go yet. I felt more connected to her than I had to anyone else before.

  A tear started to slip out before I could catch it and she was there in an instant, wiping it with her thumb. “I’m sorry, the last time someone said they needed to talk to me, my heart was ripped in two and I died that night. But on the bright side, I met a really amazing woman who makes me feel seen, heard, and safe in a way that I didn’t know existed.” I hiccuped and Priya’s gaze softened as she pulled me in for a hug.“You’re not going to do that, right?” I trembled. “I’m sorry I dug into your past. That wasn’t okay. I should’ve waited for you to tell me when you were ready instead of being selfish with my own curiosity. I won’t do it again. Please forgive me, Priya.” I sniffled into her chest and squeezed her hand.

  “Lincoln, my love, I’m not mad about that. It wasn’t how I would have wanted you to find out, but I knew there was a chance you could stumble across it because it’s on the database. I just wanted to see how you were doing, and give you a second to breathe and hold space for whatever it is you’re feeling.”

  “So, you’re not gonna break up with me as exclusive-more-than-friends?” I whispered, gripping the back of her shirt.

  “No, love, I’m not.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m feeling very emotionally vulnerable right now. I’m not really okay.” I clung tighter to her. We slipped to the floor and I practically crawled on top of her. The emotions I had stitched together before we entered the bar started to rip at the seams. I fell apart in her lap with her soothing words and gentle hands stroking my back.

  “You don’t need to apologize. You’re allowed to cry, to feel, to not be okay. “

  So I cried until there was nothing left and my breathing evened out.

  I closed my eyes, gripping Priya until sleep pulled me in and I dreamt of nothing but darkness.

  16

  “I think we should start with you choosing a weapon,” Priya said from atop a black exercise block. Her chains are wrapped around her arms today, and draped across her shoulders. She looks ready to pop into combat at any moment. She hopped off the block and started guiding me around the expansive arena.

  We were in a training room that was accessed through the directory hall. It was the largest open gym space I had ever been in. It was a full fitness center and had additional space and materials for weapons as well as combat training.

  In one corner there seemed to be an obstacle course, and adjacent to that was a rock climbing wall. Another section contained an extensive weapons arsenal complete with shooting ranges for arrows, guns, javelins, swords, throwing stars, and a whole lot of other shit I didn’t even recognize. I tried not to think of how wild it is that they have a legit armory housed here.

  A huge mat for combat training sat in the middle along with a whole tech system that allowed you to activate certain obstacles to practice demon-fighting scenarios. It was equal parts terrifying and exciting.

  Everything seemed to go on for miles. Priya mentioned something about saunas, massage rooms, changing rooms, and some other things on the outskirts of the huge dome-shaped arena. Everything was sleek and modern, truly giving off secret spy vibes.

  I still couldn’t believe that the GK Directory Hall is a magic hub for all of these secret spaces. It was wild to me that this whole other world simply exists alongside the one I had known my whole life. I was ready to step into this reality and let go of my old one.

  “See something you like?” Priya asked, pulling me back to the present moment. We had stopped in front of the rows of gleaming deadly weaponry. I had never picked up anything dangerous like this a day in my life, so I was at a complete loss.

  Priya sat down cross-legged in front of me, idly fingering her chains. I had never seen her use them. They didn’t seem like anything other than standard jewelry that would change in shape, size, and color depending on her outfit. Sometimes they would wrap around her waist like a belt, her neck like a thick choker, or like a snake across her abdomen and breasts.

  Honestly, it was super hot and a little bit kinky.

  How the hell was I supposed to compete with a weapon like that?

  “I’ve never held any sort of weapon, ever,” I said, eyeing the rows of shining daggers, guns, and swords. I cringed thinking of using one of them. Violence is not my strong suit here and, in reality, I really don’t want it to be. Priya’s chains, however, felt like a middle ground, like a weapon that’s also fun jewelry.

  “How did you decide on your chains?” I asked, contemplating how I could choose something less inherently violent than a sword. I certainly wouldn’t be picking up anything with firepower.

  “I wanted something I could have on me at all times that wouldn’t raise alarm. You saw what happened to my parents and me because of that demon. I never wanted to be caught off guard again. I needed something easy, accessible, and on me at all times. But it also couldn’t raise suspicious, so I had to get creative. My chains are connected to my gatekeeper gifts, so they’re an extension of me. I wanted to be ready at all times to protect those I love,” she said quietly.

  I truly had no idea they were so important to her. But it made sense. It was her way of surviving the horrible events of her past. It was the armor she carried in order to move forward. Today she wore an all-black training suit that made her look like Catwoman. Her hair was pulled tight into a high ponytail, covering the small shaved part of her head.

  She looked like a goddamn warrior and it made my heart swell. I hated that this demon has taken away aspects of her safety. She deserves to go out in the world without the need to have her weapons physically on her at all times. Maybe that was naïve of me to think, but I wish the world had been kinder to her. I felt even more determined to help the GK Society get to the bottom of the mysteries that had plagued them for the last several years.

  “So those who choose things like guns, swords, and spears have to be more creative about how to conceal it or make it more socially acceptable?” I asked, running my fingers across the plethora of weapons. This would probably be the first and the last time I would reach for these. There had to be something else I could connect with because it certainly wouldn’t be any of these. They felt wrong. Too heavy in my hand and too harsh to simply carry around.

  “Yes, each gatekeeper bonds to a weapon through a magical spell. Deathwalkers, in theory, should be able to do the same. You’ll be the first deathwalker to give it a go, since we only started using weapons after all the deathwalkers disappeared.” She furrowed her brow.

  “Wait, for real? So we don’t even know if I can be magically attached or bonded to anything? I may just have to use weapons like a regular human? I don’t even want any of these weapon,” I grumbled.

  Priya laughed. “If you can’t be magically bonded, then we will train you with something you can easily conceal, like a dagger or a gun. It will just be trickier, as you can’t whip it out at random times or have it easily seen on your person. Most gatekeepers who choose larger weapons spell it so it can transform into something smaller like a bracelet, keychain, or something else.” She tilted her head, looking at me curiously.

  “I am really not excited about a dagger or a gun, like, at all. I just can’t picture myself holding on to one and not feeling like a weird pro-gun white supremacist, you know?” I cringed.

  Priya smiled. “We’ll have to get creative then. It’s okay if this isn’t in your comfort zone. We’ll find something that works for you, love.”

  “So how much magic do you all really have? Because bonding weapons seems like a big deal. Can you fly? Cast spells? Make love potions?” I wiggled my brows, making dramatic gestures with my hands, trying to guide the conversation away from me having to actually make a choice about what weapon to use.

  Priya laughed at that, a beautiful husky sound.

  “Our magic extends to our abilities to help souls. We have heightened physical attributes and some have more of a flare for dramatic magic, but think of it as manipulating energy forces, as opposed to being able to cast specific spells. We have spells for weaponry that we were cautioned by the elders to use only in dire times. But in the past ten years, every gatekeeper has been bonded to something. We have limited abilities to bond to anything else. It’s a bit more nuanced than what our media often portrays.” Smiling, she stretched out her legs.

  “Hmmm…great, okay. Good to know,” I said, looking anxiously at the array of weapons around me.

  “What are some more non-traditional weapons, like your chains? Something that screams America less.” I bit my lip and crossed my arms. The more I tried to picture myself with something sharp and pointy, the more I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

  “Well, I’m the only one I know with chains. Some who like close combat have brass knuckles, nails and hammers.” I shuddered at all those options. It was like old-school mafia combat, and I was not getting on board with that either.

  “Emir uses a whip,” she said thoughtfully.

  My mouth dropped open.“Kinky bastard,” I said under my breath.

  “Lincoln! That’s my brother!” she said, jumping up and shoving me playfully.

  “What? I’m just saying!” I laughed. “What does Grey use?”

  “Nunchucks. “ She smirked again.

  “Why do you all have to be so intense? Jesus! Okay well, um…god, I won’t be able to pick a freaking weapon because—I wouldn’t say I’m a pacifist, I’m just not this,” I waved my arms at the selection before me. Sweet Grey uses nunchucks? I really am way over my head here.

  “Has anyone ever used fabric?” I suddenly got an idea.

  “Fabric?” Priya said curiously.

  “Silk fabric, to be precise.” I paced a bit in front of the weapons.

  “I mean, I don’t think so. Why?” She looked at me oddly.

  “It can be spelled, right? To be whatever I need it to be? So, like, a shirt, pants, or something else? Are there limits to that?” I asked in rapid succession, trying to figure out exactly what I needed in order to make this work. I was determined to find something that could be mine.

  “Yeah, it can pretty much be made to be whatever you need with a few locks around the spell,” she commented thoughtfully.

  “I have an interesting hobby that I haven’t actually done in a few months, but I was an aerialist throughout college and awhile after. I used silks.” I was mentally trying to figure out how this was going to work. Silks are strong and soft and not inherently violent, but they could be used in a way that could incapacitate people or demons quickly.

  “Okay,” Priya said, stepping closer.

  “I’m used to manipulating the fabric for myself. Surely I could figure out how to weaponize it, right? Similar to how you use your chains, I think,” I said, realizing that it was almost the exact same as how Priya used her chains, but in a gentle fabric as opposed to biting metal.

  “Can you get some silks in here and I’ll try it?” I said, putting my hands on my hips.

  “Sure. I like this a lot. It makes sense and you could manipulate them and fight in a similar way to my chains. Looks like you may have found your weapon, Linc,” she said, smiling wide.

  Man, I had good ideas.

  “Have you ever, you know, used your chains for other things?” I asked, stepping in closer, trailing my finger along the lines of silver on her arms and shoulders.

  “Hmm, and what would that be, love?” Her gold eyes simmered.

  “What I’m trying to say is, please tie me up in these because I think I might cum just thinking about it!” I flashed a smile, planting a kiss on Priya’s shocked face.

  “Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that!” she said giggling.

  “Is that a no?” I asked devilishly.

  “Absolutely not! I just haven’t had anyone ask before. I would be more than happy to try.” She winked.

  “Then what are we waiting for?” I dragged her to me and wrapped my hands around her waist. “Take me now, please,” I said dramatically.

  She cackled loudly before planting her lips on mine and drawing me against her. “Training first. Sex later,” she said against my mouth.

  “Sex is a workout, you know? But okay, we can do it your way,” I pouted. She rolled her eyes and pulled me toward the training mat.

  “Alright Lincoln, my love, let’s begin.”

  Duck. Exhale. Kick. Punch.

  It was like my body had reconnected to a dance it knew long ago and was moving through the movements with muscle memory. Priya started to come at me harder and faster, and I felt deeply connected to my body on a cellular level. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Euphoric. Strong. Unbeatable.

  “What the actual fuck?” I looked at my hands breathlessly, stopping for a split second and making eye contact too late, before Priya’s foot slammed into my abdomen and knocked the wind right out of me. I doubled over, choking with a grimace on my face. I clutched my belly and forced in big gulps of air.

  “Oh my god, Lincoln, I am so sorry! I should have pulled back. Are you all right?” She hovered above me, scanning my body.

  I started laughing loudly as the pain in my abdomen faded to a dull ache.

  Priya looked at me like I had suddenly grown a tail.

  I threw one arm over my eyes and smiled wickedly. “Why the fuck do I know how to fight and move like that?” I asked, eyes wide as laughter bubbled from my throat. “Who am I?!” I shouted hysterically. Some pieces of my life seem to make so much sense and others seem to be getting increasingly complicated. How am I suddenly an excellent combat fighter when I haven’t been in any sort of fight, well, ever?

  Priya looked at me funny. “I don’t know, Lincoln. It seems like things are a bit more complicated than we think. I’ve never known another deathwalker to move like you just did, like you were born with the innate skill and knowledge to fight. Your body moves like it’s ready for every punch and kick, almost as if it knows all the ways in which gatekeepers were trained when they first came to Earth.” She tapped her finger on her chin as if trying to figure out the puzzle that is me in her head.

  “It’s wild because, even if I have this skill and knowledge, my body isn’t ready. I am about to be really freaking sore the next few days. I mean, I do yoga regularly and I did silks for a long time, but I don’t do this. It will take some time for my muscles to adjust to the new types of movement.”

  “Well, maybe it won’t, Linc. Deathwalkers have an innate healing ability, so maybe your muscles are repairing and healing as we speak. You seem to have a mix of deathwalker and gatekeeper gifts,” she said.

  I sat up and rolled my shoulders.

  “Would it be possible for me to be both? Can you be a deathwalker and a gatekeeper? I guess I sort of thought they were two different gifts unable to coexist in the same body, especially since all these gifts are supposed to be hereditary. Am I about to find out that my parents aren’t really my parents? That would be…unexpected. Or maybe some other random twist of fate?” I crossed my legs and leaned back on my hands. Something here didn’t make sense.

  I hadn’t really entertained the idea that my parents, maybe, aren’t my birth parents, but at this point in my life, it felt like anything was possible. I wasn’t sure what to make of what, exactly, was happening but it felt like there were more answers waiting to be discovered. I just couldn’t understand what those answers were or how they all fit together.

  “I’ve never heard of a random twist of fate quite like that but then again, anything is plausible. Your parents are your birth parents, as far as we know. But in regards to everything else, well, we’ve been in the dark for a decade. No one was prepared for this or has answers about what is going on in the afterlife. So I wouldn’t say that it’s an impossibility, more like it would be highly unlikely. You’re either a deathwalker or a gatekeeper, not both. At least, that’s what we’ve been taught. There have been couples made up of one deathwalker and one gatekeeper and the child, as far as we know, only ever gets one ability,” she said thoughtfully.