“Speakin’ of,” Otto said, smiling. “Mom said you want to sell that huge ass house of yours.”

  “Swear to God,” I bitched. “No one knows how to keep their mouths shut.”

  “Don’t think she realized it was a secret.”

  “There’s nothin’ to tell yet. Emilia said she needs to get some photos and shit before she can list it.”

  “Might wanna hold off on all that,” Otto replied. “Just sayin’.”

  “Uncle Otto,” Ariel’s voice called in a whisper hiss from the stairs. “I’m comin’ down!”

  Otto strode past me and a few seconds later he came back in the kitchen with Ariel in tow.

  “Hi,” she said, watching me curiously as she climbed up to the table. She was wearing a nightgown that was almost an exact replica of Esther’s granny nightgown and her hair shot out from her head in every possible direction.

  “Titus is gonna hang with you ladies today,” Otto informed her.

  Ariel watched me curiously, like she was wondering why exactly I’d be hanging out with them, but she didn’t say a word.

  “I like your nightgown,” I said, finally.

  Otto laughed as he set down a little cup of yogurt and a spoon in front of her.

  “Flora gave it to me,” Ariel said, looking down at herself. “It’s got hearts.”

  “I see that.”

  “Did you tell your mama you were comin’ downstairs?” Otto asked Ariel as he picked up his coffee again.

  “She told me to hurry so I didn’t wake up Nana,” Ariel replied, a little mustache of yogurt on her lip. “She’s comin’ down in a minute.”

  “Alright.” Otto looked at me. “I’m gonna run up and tell Esther goodbye.”

  “We’re fine down here.”

  “You going to work?” Ariel asked.

  “Yeah, and I’m gonna be late if I don’t hurry,” Otto replied scrubbing his hand over her head as he passed her. “Make sure you clean up your mess when you’re done, yeah?”

  “I will!”

  “Shh,” he reminded her. “Don’t wake up the girls.”

  Ariel’s mouth snapped closed as he hurried out of the room.

  Without Otto in the kitchen it felt a little like I was looming over the four-year-old, so I pulled out a chair and sat across from her at the table.

  “Yogurt is my favorite breakfast,” she told me, breaking the silence. “What’s your favorite?”

  “I don’t eat breakfast usually,” I replied in amusement as she scraped inside the little cup with her spoon, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated.

  “You gotta eat breakfast,” she scolded, looking up at me. “It gives your body energy for the day.”

  “Your mama teach you that?”

  “Yep.”

  “Your mama is pretty smart.”

  “I know.”

  “When I eat breakfast,” I conceded. “I like eggs and bacon.”

  “That’s Nana’s favorite,” she replied, wrinkling her nose. “She likes the eggs with the yellow in the middle.”

  “That’s the kind I like, too.”

  “I like the mixed-up kind better,” Ariel informed me, scooting off her chair. Carefully, she grabbed her empty yogurt cup and spoon and brought them over to the garbage can.

  “You like scrambled eggs?” I asked, turning to watch her as I realized what mixed-up eggs were.

  “Better than the other kind,” she agreed, she stared down into the garbage. “Oh no.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I dropped my spoon,” she replied, her voice wobbling. “In there.”

  I was on my feet in an instant. “Hey, no big deal.”

  “It’s really far down there.” Her chin started to quiver.

  “Good thing I got long arms, huh?”

  Noel found us at the garbage can, my arm disappearing inside it to my bicep.

  “What are you doing?” she asked in confusion, looking between the two of us.

  “I dropped my spoon,” Ariel replied.

  “Otto took the garbage out last night, didn’t he?” I asked with a huff, gingerly grabbing the spoon. “Of course he did.”

  Noel wrinkled her nose, the exact same way Ariel had done it while she was talking about eggs. I felt my lips twitch as I pulled out the spoon.

  “Ah,” I muttered, lifting it out of Ariel’s reach. “I’ll put it away so only one of us has to wash our hands.”

  “Thank you!”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Uncle Otto got you breakfast?” Noel asked as Ariel went over to her.

  “He got me yogurt.”

  “He’s the best,” Noel said, grinning as she lifted Ariel into her arms.

  The little girl’s legs dangled awkwardly around her belly.

  “His brother doesn’t eat breakfast,” Ariel whispered.

  “No way,” Noel whispered back.

  “I told him he needs breakfast energy.”

  “That’s true,” Noel said, nodding as I rinsed the spoon and put it in the dishwasher.

  “He likes the same kinda eggs as Nana.”

  I started washing my hands. They were still whispering.

  “Good to know.”

  “I didn’t tell him those kind are gross.”

  “That’s good,” Noel whispered, meeting my gaze above Ariel’s head as she held back a small smile. “It’s not kind to tell people the things they like are gross.”

  “Can I color?” Ariel asked. Apparently the discussion about my eating habits was over.

  “Go ahead,” Noel replied, setting the little girl on her feet. “Just crayons. No markers.”

  “The markers are better.”

  “Crayons,” Noel repeated.

  Ariel let out a huge sigh. “Okay.”

  She skipped away.

  Then, for the first time since she’d come back, Noel and I were alone.

  Chapter 7

  Noel

  “You want some coffee?” Titus asked abruptly as he grabbed his cup off the table. “Shit.” He glanced down at my belly. “You can’t have coffee.”

  “I can,” I clarified. “But no, thank you. It gives me a stomach ache.”

  “Oh.” He looked around the kitchen. “Do you want some milk or—”

  “I usually have tea,” I said, cutting him off. He was either uncomfortable or nervous and I kind of just wanted to stare at him. The boy I remembered had been confident almost to a fault. After my father had realized we were meeting in secret and locked me in the house, Titus had been the one to come looking for me. He’d been brazen that day. Not afraid of anything, even when a couple of men from our church had beat the crap out of him, and then kidnapped both of us.

  The fact that Ephraim had decided to stay loyal to the church after that really should’ve clued me in to how horrendous my brother was. He’d tried to explain it away saying that there had been a few bad apples—our father being one of them—but that didn’t mean that the entire church was bad. I’d never been brave enough to remind him that the phrase was actually one bad apple spoils the barrel, as in, it makes the rest rot alongside it.

  “Ariel is sweet,” Titus murmured as I opened a cupboard and pulled out the canister of tea. “Smart.”

  “Thanks.” I glanced at him over my shoulder. “She’s a little big for her britches, but I like it.”

  “Nothin’ wrong with a strong woman,” he grinned.

  “Except when she’s talking back to her mother,” I countered with a small laugh. “But yeah, she is sweet. She has very strong ideas.”

  “Mixed eggs only.”

  “She likes them scrambled.”

  “Yeah, she was sayin’ that.”

  “Thank you,” I said, turning toward him. “For last night and coming to get us and all of it.”

  “Of course.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I replied stubbornly. I’d had a lot of time to think about it and no matter which way I turned the situation around in my mind, it was a pretty big deal that Titus had come when I needed him. When we were teenagers, I’d promised that the moment I’d turned eighteen, I’d call him—and I hadn’t. I didn’t know what his life had been like in the years since I’d moved, maybe it wasn’t a big deal to him, but I’d made a promise and broken it. He could’ve hated me for it. If the roles were reversed, I wasn’t sure how I would’ve felt. Not great.

  “Otto’s call,” he said quietly, his gaze on mine. “Probably one of the best and scariest calls of my life.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say.

  “I was really fuckin’ glad you called,” he continued. “But also scared outta my mind that you were, wonderin’ what could’ve happened that would make you finally reach out.”

  “I should’ve sooner,” I replied. I’d also had a lot of time to think about that. I should’ve called Esther years before. Should’ve somehow contacted her when they’d first started discussing me marrying Caleb. I just hadn’t thought that things would happen so quickly. I’d thought I’d have more time.

  I couldn’t regret it, though. If I hadn’t married Caleb, I wouldn’t have the girls, and that wasn’t a scenario I wanted to contemplate.

  “You wouldn’t have Ariel and Diana, if you had,” he replied, reading my mind. “Or that new one.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” he asked softly, his gaze on my belly.

  My hand went unconsciously to the solid curve of it. “No. That’s not really something we do, finding out the sex beforehand.”

  “They do,” he corrected. “You’re not one of ’em anymore. You could ask now.”

  I shrugged. “It’s kind of exciting not knowing.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I think I’ll wait until he or she is born.”

  “What do you think it will be?”

  “Probably another girl,” I said ruefully, turning back to the kettle as it started whistling.

  “Look who’s awake,” Esther called out as she came into the kitchen. “She wasn’t happy that Auntie Esther was the one getting her out of bed.”

  “Good morning,” I called, walking over to get my sleepy two-year-old from my sister. “Sorry, I didn’t even hear her.”

  “No worries,” she said, kissing Diana as she handed her over. “I only heard her because I was walking past your door.”

  “Did you wake up and Mama wasn’t there?” I asked Diana as she scowled at me.

  “Sissy,” Diana groused. “Want Ari.”

  “She’s coloring. You want to go color with her?”

  “Yeah.”

  I put her on the floor, keeping my hands on her until she’d caught her balance. Diana was never at her best in the morning. I’d never known any kid as grouchy and out of sorts as she was when she woke up.

  “Don’t take the paper off,” I warned as she toddled into the living room.

  “I don’t think there’s any paper left on those crayons for her to shred,” Esther said ruefully as she poured the hot water into my mug and grabbed one for herself.

  “She calls the paper jackets,” I explained to Titus. “She peels it all off no matter what I do.”

  “At least she doesn’t eat ’em like Rumi used to,” Titus replied with a smile as he sat back down at the table. “My mom used to ask if he’d eaten them and he’d tell her no while he had crayon stuck between his two front teeth. It was so gross.”

  Esther giggled. “I need to find out a way to bring that up in casual conversation.”

  “Do it,” Titus agreed. “That may be a story Nova hasn’t heard yet. She needs to know what she’s gettin’ into if she procreates with him.”

  “I hope they have babies,” Esther replied. “I know she wants some.”

  “They’ve been married for a long time, haven’t they?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Titus nodded. “Five or six years? Something like that.”

  “Just hasn’t happened yet,” Esther told me quietly, laying her hand on my back as she went to sit with Titus. I heard the words she hadn’t said and my stomach twisted. I really liked Nova. What must it be like for her to be around me and Esther having babies when she hadn’t been able to? She’d been so kind to me. It wasn’t fair that some women got pregnant so easily and others didn’t.

  “So, you’ve got an appointment this afternoon?” Titus asked Esther.

  “At two,” my sister confirmed.

  “They gonna take that baby out yet?” he teased.

  “That’s not quite how it works,” Esther replied dryly, gesturing for me to sit with them. “But I think he’ll be making an appearance soon.”

  “I thought you had another month?”

  “That’s just a guess,” Esther said, rubbing her belly. “They never really know. Flora came three weeks before my due date and I’m only four weeks out now.”

  “Ariel was born on her due date,” I said, smiling at my sister. “Diana was three days after hers.”

  “Ugh,” Esther said, laughing. “I can’t imagine going past it!”

  “It wasn’t so bad,” I mused. “I didn’t know any different with Ariel, I just assumed that having the baby on the due date was how it went.”

  Esther scoffed good-naturedly.

  “And with Nana I wanted her to stay put as long as possible since Ariel was already such a handful already.”

  “What about with this one?” Titus asked, smiling softly.

  “Ask me in a couple of months,” I replied, smiling back at him.

  “I can’t believe we’re going to have two babies in the house soon,” Esther said, grinning huge. “It’s been a while! We wanted to wait a while after I had Flora, but we never planned on waiting this long. We just kept thinking, let’s try in the fall, in the spring, next year would be better—you get the idea.”

  “She’s going to be so much help,” I said, reaching out to give my sister’s forearm a squeeze. “Even Ariel was a huge help and she was only two when Diana came.”

  “I just hope she’s not jealous,” Esther said with a shrug. “She’s been an only child for so long.”

  “Well, she’s getting some practice now,” Titus murmured, tipping his head toward the living room.

  Flora was busy admonishing Diana for pulling apart a crayon.

  “You’re welcome?” I added with a sigh. “I should probably go in there.”

  “I’ll go,” Titus said, getting to his feet. “You guys drink your tea.”

  I looked at Esther and when she didn’t argue, I didn’t either. It felt very strange to have Titus going in to keep an eye on the girls while we sat there doing nothing.

  “He’ll sit on the couch and make sure they aren’t climbing the walls,” Ether told me after Titus had gone. “If he minded, he wouldn’t have offered.”

  “I don’t think Caleb ever watched the girls,” I replied quietly, looking over my shoulder toward where Titus had gone.

  “The Hawthorne boys pitch in,” Esther said, lifting her tea to her lips. “All of them do. That’s just how their family is.”

  We were quiet for a few minutes while I digested that. In the community Esther and I had grown up in there were very clearly defined roles for men and women. If the children were old enough and there was a place for the women in a family or church owned business then both husband and wife worked, but household chores—including taking care of any children—were the woman’s responsibility. Always.

  “I’m looking forward to this appointment with the midwife,” Esther said, breaking the silence. “I’ve been so exhausted lately. I don’t remember being this tired with Flora.”

  “You didn’t have three extra people in your house then,” I pointed out.

  “Please.” She waved the words away. “You’re so much help, I’m doing less than I ever have.”

  “You should have told me that you were that tired,” I scolded. “You should start napping when the girls do.”

  “Ha!” She shook her head. “Give up that hour of quiet? No way. I’ve probably got low iron or something.”

  “Is that something that happened with Flora?” I asked curiously. My pregnancies had always been pretty easy. I’d barely had to change my routine at all. With Ariel, I hadn’t even known that I was supposed to be taking prenatal vitamins.

  “Yeah, but not this late,” Esther said, rubbing her belly. “Did you get your appointment set up with Andrea?”

  “The midwife? Yeah. Week after next.”

  “Did you know she delivered Myla?” Esther asked with a smile.

  “Otto’s sister Myla?”

  “Yep. Well, from what I understand, she got there right after Myla was born—Tommy actually delivered her.”

  “No way.” My mouth dropped open in shock. I liked Titus and Otto’s dad a lot, but I couldn’t imagine him delivering a baby. To call him rough around the edges was an understatement even after witnessing how much he loved and cared for his family.

  “I don’t think it was planned,” Esther said drolly. “But Andrea is great. You’re going to love her. She’s been delivering babies forever. We’re in good hands.”

  “I’m sure I’ll like her fine.”

  “Did you have a doctor or a midwife last time?”

  “Midwife,” I murmured, remembering Diana’s birth. I’d spent the entire time worrying about Ariel while she was with my mother-in law. “There are a couple in the community.”

  “Was she even licensed?” Esther asked sharply.

  “How would I know?”

  Esther sighed. “Probably not,” she grumbled, getting to her feet. “Are you done?”

  I handed her my empty mug without a word. I’d learned over the past couple of weeks to let her stew for a few minutes when she got that expression on her face. Esther hated anything to do with our family and the church we’d belonged to. I understood it, I’d just never had such strong feelings about any of it. Was it the kind of life I would’ve chosen for myself if I’d ever been given the choice? No. But there wasn’t any use in lamenting any of it.

  We’d both gotten out.

  “I’m going to check on the kids,” I told Esther as she stared out the kitchen window.

  When I walked into the living room, Titus was sitting on the floor, his legs stretched out under the coffee table and Diana on his lap.