“Those idiots won’t call the cops,” Rumi muttered, his hand sliding under his cut like he was reassuring himself that he’d remembered to put on his holster.

  “Not goin’ up to start shit,” Otto said firmly, looking over at Esther. “Just gettin’ Noel and getting the fuck back here.”

  “How are we gettin’ her back here?” Bas asked quietly. “If she’s got shit, can’t bring her on one of the bikes.”

  “I’ll follow you up,” my mom said instantly, glancing down at Esther’s round belly.

  “You’re not gettin’ near any of those motherfuckers,” my dad shut her down almost as instantly. “Wait with Esther.”

  “The fuck you say?” my mom replied, her voice level. I grimaced.

  “I’ll drive your rig,” I said, glancing around the group.

  “You should take mine,” Esther replied.

  “I’m drawin’ the line at that go-kart you drive.” I shook my head. No way in hell was I driving her car. It was tiny. The one time I was a passenger, I’d practically been resting my chin on my knees the entire ride.

  “You can take your mother’s,” Dad said.

  “You’re on thin ice, Cody,” my mom snapped. She turned to me and her tone softened. “You can take mine, baby.”

  “Thanks, Ma.”

  “Need to go,” Otto said, looking at the clock.

  We filtered out of the house as quietly as possible as he turned to Esther, his hands on her belly as he leaned down to whisper to her.

  “Didn’t think this would ever happen,” my oldest brother Mick said as we stopped in the driveway. “Not after all these years.”

  “You knew they told her to call if she needed them,” my mom pointed out.

  “Just been a while,” he replied.

  “Must be bad if she’s finally callin’,” Rumi said, scratching at the stubble on his jaw. He looked at me. “You sure you don’t wanna sit this one out?”

  “Right.” I scoffed.

  “He might be right,” my mom said softly. “If you don’t think you can keep your cool—”

  “Enough,” my dad said, his voice sharp. He looked at each of them and then back to me. “Titus is fine.”

  I nodded at him in thanks as Bas slapped me on the back. “I’ll ride with ya, kid.”

  “You don’t need to—”

  “While I’d love to ride my bike because I’m a fuckin’ powerhouse and I love the wind in my face,” he boasted, glancing at my dad who was grinning. “I would be lyin’ if I said that my stomach wasn’t churnin’ like a fuckin’ washin’ machine.”

  “Sebastian,” my mom growled. “If you puke in my car I’ll kill you.”

  “No, ma’am,” Bas said quickly. “Hangovers give me the shits, I won’t puke.”

  “That does not give me comfort,” she replied in exasperation as the boys laughed.

  “Alright, let’s go,” Otto said, jogging down the porch steps. “The address she gave Esther is an hour south of Seattle so we’ve got a bit of a ride.”

  “At least the weather’s decent,” Rumi grumbled, looking up at the sky.

  “We’re listenin’ to my music,” Bas announced as he strode toward my mom’s rig.

  “You good?” my mom asked quietly, setting her keys in my palm.

  “Fine.”

  “Titus.”

  “Glad she’s reachin’ out,” I replied, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “Esther’s gonna be glad to have her back.”

  “That’s what you’re going with?”

  “Nothin’ else to say, Ma.”

  “Drive careful,” she ordered, rolling her eyes.

  My heart was thumping in my ears as I climbed into my mom’s SUV and shoved the seat back until I was comfortable. My dad must’ve driven it the day before because the gas tank was actually full and the windshield was clean. I turned the car around and pulled up behind my dad and brothers, waiting for them to pull onto the pavement at the end of the driveway.

  “Fuck me,” I mumbled under my breath, flexing my clammy hands against the steering wheel.

  “No shit,” Bas replied as he fucked with the stereo. “Don’t worry, brother, I got you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Sure you are.” He chuckled.

  The entire drive was a fucking blur. The few times Bas tried to talk to me, he gave up when I barely answered. Afterward I couldn’t even remember anything I’d seen or any turns we’d taken. I followed the pack of bikes on autopilot.

  What did she look like? Was her hair still long? Had she changed? Of course she had. She wasn’t a kid anymore. We’d both grown up while she was gone. Did she still wear her hair the same? Was she in trouble or did she just finally decide she was done with the bullshit she and Esther had grown up with? What were we walking into? Was she expecting Otto and Esther? Would she freak out when all of us showed up? Thoughts raced through my head one after the other, never ending.

  When we finally found the address Noel had given Esther, Bas wasn’t the only one with a churning gut.

  Chapter 2

  Noel

  I called Esther the moment the ambulance pulled out of our driveway and didn’t even bother to turn their lights on. I’d instinctively known he was dead the instant I’d woken up to use the bathroom and couldn’t hear him snoring on the other side of the bed. Maybe that had been what had woken me up, the absence of sound for the first time in nearly five years. It had taken me ten minutes to turn on the light and check for sure, but I knew those minutes wouldn’t have mattered anyway. His lips were blue. His face slack. I shook off the memory.

  I was free.

  My hands shook as I pulled open my dresser drawers and forced myself to move calmly as I brought my folded clothes to the suitcase on the bed. No one knew yet that my husband was dead and I had hours before the hospital called them and my brother-in-law came to get us. I had time to make sure we had everything we needed.

  The sun was coming up and I could hear the girls chattering to each other in the bedroom just as I finished packing my things. There was so little that I wanted from our house. It had never felt like mine anyway.

  Straightening my sweater as I got to my feet, I walked slowly down the hall, savoring the last few minutes of quiet before the crazy day ahead.

  “Mama!” Ariel cried happily, bouncing on her bed as I opened their door. “Nana’s got a runny nose!”

  “Good morning,” I called softly, the smile on my face not nearly as hard to come by as I’d feared. “Did you sleep good?”

  “Nana spit out her blue binky but I gave it back,” Ariel replied importantly, hopping off her bed, her little yellow blankie slung over her shoulder.

  “Diana,” I scolded jokingly, walking to the crib to poke my youngest in the belly. “Did you throw your binky off the bed so sister would have to come get it?”

  “No,” she replied, giggling. “I not.”

  “She did,” Ariel murmured, leaning against my hip. She didn’t sound the least bit put out by it.

  I ran my hand over Ariel’s hair, my heart thundering. We were leaving. We were finally leaving. I could barely catch my breath. Ariel would never have to—no. I stopped that train of thought before I could finish it. I would think of the implications later. Rejoice later. Once we were safe with Esther and her husband Otto.

  “Let’s change your diaper,” I said to Diana, scooping her up out of the crib. “Ariel, you want to pick your outfit for today?”

  “Can I wear the purple dress?”

  “Oh, I suppose,” I said with a teasing sigh. “Don’t forget your underwear and tights.”

  “Okay!” She hopped on two feet across the little room to her dresser.

  “How about you?” I asked Diana, rubbing her back as I carried her toward the dresser. “What do you want to wear today?”

  “Dress,” Diana murmured around her pacifier.

  “I suppose that can be arranged.”

  The next few minutes were a whirl of activity as I wrangled the girls into clothes and brushed Ariel’s hair, but eventually I herded them out of the bedroom toward the kitchen.

  “I want pancakes,” Ariel announced, skipping ahead of me. “With bananas.”

  “I don’t think we have any bananas, tootsie pop. We’ll have to pick something else.”

  “Oatmeal,” she roared, lifting her hands like paws.

  “Are you a lion?”

  “No, I’m a tiger.”

  “Scary.” I shivered. “Do tigers roar?” It was a serious question. I couldn’t remember.

  “They do,” Ariel replied firmly.

  “Do tigers like oatmeal?”

  “The smart ones do.” She climbed into her seat at the table and waited while I put Diana in her high chair.

  “How about an apple with your oatmeal?” I asked, shaking out my hands as I grabbed some plain oatmeal packets out of the drawer. Straightening my back, I mixed them with a little water and put them into the microwave.

  “I love appoes,” Diana sang, spitting her pacifier onto the high chair tray.

  “They’re your favorite, huh?” I said, glancing over my shoulder at her as I grabbed an apple out of the bowl.

  “I like oranges,” Ariel contradicted. “But I can eat an apple.”

  “Well, that’s good.” Only years of conditioning kept me from rolling my eyes as I sliced their apple. “Since we have no oranges.”

  “We should go to the store.”

  “Maybe tomorrow.”

  The beep of the microwave seemed too loud and I watched out the window as I fixed the girls their plates.

  “I put brown sugar on it,” I whispered to Ariel as I set the plate down in front of her.

  I grit my teeth and bowed my head as she automatically closed her eyes and prayed out loud for her and Diana’s meals.

  “Nice job, baby,” I murmured, putting Diana’s plate on her tray.

  “Can we do puzzles after breakfast?” Ariel asked, swinging her feet.

  “Absolutely.”

  “And bubbles,” she asked slyly, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.

  “Maybe this afternoon,” I conceded. Bubbles were a special treat and I wondered for a moment if she knew something was up.

  They were used to Caleb being gone in the mornings for work and they’d slept through the chaos of the paramedics the night before, but maybe she could sense it. I wouldn’t have been surprised. Ariel noticed everything.

  It only took a few minutes for the girls to eat, even though Diana took the time to sing quietly to herself between bites. As soon as they were done, I quickly washed their dishes and pulled down the wooden puzzles for them to play with before heading into their room.

  The girls had way more to pack than I did. Between the diapers and clothes for both of them, the keepsakes I kept in the top drawer of their dresser, and the stuffed animals they were most attached to, I’d filled another large suitcase and duffel bag. Stashing them in with my suitcase in the bedroom, I wandered back toward the living room. There were a few photos of the girls that I wanted to grab and a throw blanket my mom had made as a wedding gift, but for the most part we were fully packed and ready when I sat down on the floor to help them with their puzzles.

  “This is a meerkat,” Ariel told Diana.

  “Cat.”

  “No, meerkat,” she corrected.

  “Cat.”

  “Meerkat.”

  “Cat,” Diana said firmly, pointing to the puzzle piece.

  “That’s right,” I said, shooting Ariel a look before she could argue. “What’s that one?”

  “Lion,” Ariel answered quickly.

  “I was asking sister,” I replied with a sigh, raising my eyebrows at her.

  “Lion,” Diana parroted.

  “What about this one?”

  Ariel squirmed.

  “Elphant.”

  “That’s right,” I leaned down and kissed Diana on the head. “That’s an elephant.”

  Ariel sighed.

  “Did Ariel teach you that?” I asked the baby.

  “Yeah.”

  “She’s a good teacher, huh?”

  “I’m a really good teacher,” Ariel boasted, perking up.

  I leaned against the couch and watched them play, savoring the moment. They had no idea that in just a few hours their lives were going to change, that they’d woken up to a different life. Neither of them would’ve understood even if I’d tried to explain it. The changes were good. Answered prayers, if I was being generous and lucky if I wasn’t.

  As I listened to Ariel try and teach Diana how to say caterpillar, I wondered at my lack of emotion. My husband was dead. The man I’d shared a bed with and built a life and family with was dead—and I felt nothing except relief.

  Two hours, three games, and a diaper change later, the sound of Harley pipes filtered in through the window. I was on my feet before I’d even realized that I was moving.

  “Noisy.” Diana wrinkled her nose.

  Kneeling on the couch, I looked out the front window and my breath caught, relief making me sway.

  “Who’s here?” Ariel yelled, scrambling onto the couch next to me.

  “Your uncle,” I whispered as the motorcycles and a dark SUV pulled onto the short gravel driveway.

  “Uncle Ephraim?” she asked dubiously.

  “No.” I shook my head, my eyes still on those motorcycles. “Your uncle Otto.”

  “Who’s that?”

  I ran my hand down her hair as I climbed off the couch.

  Hurrying down the hallway, I grabbed the two newborn photos of the girls off the wall. Stuffing them into the top of the girls’ suitcase, I dragged it and the duffel into the living room.

  “Mama,” Ariel called as I raced back down the hallway. “There’s a big man at the door!”

  “I’ll be right there,” I called back, dragging the other suitcase off my bed and into the living room.

  He knocked as I set it next to the others and I took a moment, smoothing back my hair as I tried to catch my breath.

  “Why do you have bags?” Ariel asked curiously as Diana crawled on top of a suitcase.

  “Because we’re going on an adventure,” I whispered conspiratorially.

  “We are?” she whispered back, her face lighting up as Otto knocked again.

  “Yeah.” I grinned.

  “Yes,” she hissed, jumping across the floor.

  With another deep breath, I reached for the door and swung it open.

  My sister’s husband was exactly the way I’d remembered him. Huge, imposing, frowning, and kind.

  “Good to see you, Noel,” he said, his lips tipping up in a small smile as his eyes met mine. “Been waitin’ for—” His mouth snapped shut and his eyes widened as Ariel poked her head around my hip and grinned up at him.

  “This is Ariel,” I said, pushing her forward until she stood beside me. She wrapped her arms around what was left of my waist and I felt myself straightening a little with pride.

  “Well, hello Ariel,” he murmured, crouching down to look at her.

  “Mama,” Diana wailed, finally realizing from her perch on the suitcase that we weren’t alone.

  “And that’s Diana,” I said with a watery laugh, pulling out of Ariel’s hold so I could grab my youngest. As soon as I’d picked her up and handed her the binky she’d dropped, Diana was quiet again, watching Otto suspiciously.

  “Diana,” Otto replied, smiling at my youngest. “Hi, honey.”

  “Don’t worry,” I rasped, huffing out a laugh. “There’s only two.”

  Otto looked pointedly down at my belly. “Almost three.”

  “Almost three,” I conceded.

  “Good thing we brought my mom’s rig,” he said, still smiling as he looked me over. “Got plenty of room.”

  He jerked his head toward the SUV behind him, and my breath caught when I saw the man standing next to the driver’s side door. Planting my feet, I willed my body not to betray me as I swayed.

  I’d known somewhere in the back of my mind that there was a chance that Otto’s brother Titus would come with him. It made sense that Titus would come if Otto was bringing people with him, and I’d known that Esther would never send Otto up to get me alone… but I still hadn’t even let myself imagine it.

  The boy that I’d loved, dreamed of, imagined, and prayed for was only a few yards away. The memory of his weight cocooning me in the back of his car, our hands and lips frantic for just a few more moments together, hit me like a slap to the face. I sucked in a sharp breath. Unlike Otto, Titus was completely different from the boy I remembered. He was taller, broader, held himself differently, dressed differently. His face, though, that was as familiar to me as my own, if a bit older.

  “You got car seats?” Otto asked, jerking my attention away from Titus.

  My face burned with mortification. “They’re in the truck,” I murmured, grabbing the keys off the small hook by the door.

  “You want to just take the truck?” Otto asked as he took the keys from me.

  “It’s not mine,” I replied distractedly as Ariel grabbed her blankie off the couch and dragged the basket of toys over next to the suitcases.

  Otto tossed the keys out the door to someone standing outside, asking them to grab the car seats, then turned back to me. “You okay?”

  My gaze snapped to his. “Yes.”

  He watched me for a moment, ushering me farther into the house. “Alright. What do you want us to grab?”

  “Just these suitcases and that bag.”

  “And the basket,” Ariel added, pointing. “That one.”

  “That’s all?” Otto’s dad, Tommy, asked in surprise as he stepped inside. He hadn’t changed since the last time I’d seen him. “Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted with a soft smile. “Been waitin’ for that call for a while. Glad to see you.”

  “Thanks for coming,” I said, my nose stinging as my eyes began to water.

  “Always,” he said, his eyes softening even more as he looked at Diana. When he caught sight of Ariel, he froze dramatically. “Whoa! Who are you?”

  “Ariel,” my eldest said, tilting her head in question. “Who are you?”

  “I’m Uncle Otto’s dad,” he said, looking down at her. “You can call me papa.”