I approach my father’s house from the mountain, having just picked the most vividly yellow sunflowers. And I can't wait to make my paint so I can finish the painting I started last week.

  Tabitha and Simon are playing behind the house. I hope they took the bath I asked them to. Then I groan remembering they never do anything I ask.

  I place my satchel in my bedroom, and go out to find the little rascals.

  “Tabitha, Simon!”

  I hear their small giggles in the house. They are playing hide and seek.

  “If I catch you, I will tell Farrah.”

  “You will tell Farrah what?” My stepmother comes with a bright smile on her face. “Let them play, they are kids.”

  “But they need to bathe. It’s getting late.”

  “Stop being a mother hen, Thalia. Relax. Your husband is outside, we just came from the village meeting.”

  Excitement I can’t contain travels my body and I run out. My love is back. I don’t see him outside, but warm hands circle me, and I feel at home once more.

  “Looks like someone missed me.” His deep voice sends a thrill all over my body.

  “I always miss you when you are gone,” I say as I turn in his arms, but it’s not him.

  It’s not my soulmate.

  I pull away from Samson. His touch feels wrong. I scream. Why did he touch me like that? Doesn’t he know I belong to Vidar. I wail as I run from him.

  Vidar.

  I need Vidar.

  I jolt awake sweating from the nightmare. Panting, I look around before I remember where I am.

  I bury my face in my hands. The same dream has been haunting me for weeks. My subconscious is not all the way with the Vidar hate. Or maybe he is using one of his sorcerers to give me these dreams.

  That would actually explain a lot.

  Certainly, explain the dream and a whole host of other feelings I don’t want to and won't entertain.

  But you need him.

  Well, that can jump right in the dark realm for all I care. I bark inwardly at the annoying voice in my head.

  My stomach growls, upset that I haven’t eaten anything in two days. I’m just not hungry. There is no point anyway.

  Getting off the bed, I grab the water container, throwing my head back as I drink.

  I make the bed and tidy around, not that there’s anything to tidy up. So I go take a bath.

  Thankfully the water from the faucet always comes out warm. More perks of being a god. You have golden faucets to bring you warm water on demand.

  I close my eyes trying to meditate to get rid of the nightmare as dawn chases away the night. I meditate on my mantra for the past ten weeks.

  I hate him. He is a monster. I will never yield to him again.

  Trepidation

  Vidar

  I walk in my castle panting, still reeking of dragon blood. The execution my father dragged me to took long, but it's over now. I am back home. Back to my queen.

  My feet carry me to her. I have to see her face first. I want to tell her about everything.

  The servant walks quietly behind me with my love's gift from the goddess Hela. Cherries from her personal garden, the best in all the realms. I know she will love them, Hela is her favorite of all the celestials. I must tell her my aunt wants to meet her very soon.

  I walk into our wing, and turn to the servant, taking the basket from them. They disappear from my sight, knowing better than to enter mine and my queen's sanctuary.

  A smile graces my lips as I near our private chamber. I hear laughter and wonder what is making her laugh so much. I pick up my pace and push the door open.

  I am rooted where I stand, unable to move when I find her and Eros in bed together. She is getting pleasure on top of him. She turns to me and smiles a twisted evil smile.

  "You will never be him."

  The room fills with their laughter as they mock me before they go back to each other.

  She turns back to me as he licks her neck. "You are filthy. Look at all the blood on your hands. How could I love a monster?"

  I try to growl at them, but nothing comes out. This is hell.

  My eyes fly open, and I breathe heavily as I sit up.

  I've had the same dream for months. It starts different, but the end is always the same. She rejects me, her soulmate, in favor of Eros, her love.

  I throw the side lamp and it shatters as it hits the wall. My insides boil, but I know I can't really fault anyone but myself.

  I grunt, walking to the washroom, and prepare for the day. Today I am meeting my father. He got my message about bringing her home and I have put off going to talk with him personally for as long as I could.

  Mostly I just didn't want to be away from her. Which is idiotic seeing as she hates me, and she won’t have anything to do with me.

  But I must face the All-Father. He will no doubt ask to see her, and I would like to do that when she isn’t wailing every time I was near her.

  I used to think I wanted a soulmate, but I didn't know it would bring me this much heartache. My soul is in pain because she is in pain. Because she rejected me. Why can't things be just as easy as it usually is for others?

  But I guess this is my burden to bear. I try to think of what I can do to earn her forgiveness. Try to think of a way for her to even look at me. Just me. Just Vidar. Not the monster. Not the god of war.

  For her to know that I was true to her when we were back in the fae land. I may have hidden my face from her, but it was always me. It was truly me.

  But she thinks I even lied about that. That I would spend a year next to her just so I can turn and destroy her.

  I haven't even gotten the chance to tell her, her family lives. How could I? She thinks the worst of me. She thinks I murdered everybody, even women and children. I guess I never thought the god of war persona would come back to take a chunk of my bottom.

  Walking out of my chambers, I make my way down to the dining hall. I find my place prepared like it always is, for one. What I wouldn’t give to have her here with me.

  My mind drifts back to the valley of a thousand waterfalls. How happy she had been. How playful, how free. We didn't have much, but we were happiest with just each other.

  I decide to forego the breakfast and head to the war-room until I must meet with father.

  By noon Fima, Sigurd, and I step into father's palace. We meet the welcoming party and the palace chief of hospitality.

  "Lord Vidar." Sifar bows. "It's been too long. We heard the good news." He offers me a warm smile and I nod slightly.

  "He has been anticipating your arrival. The palace is abuzz with news of the new queen. Sigurd said her beauty is a masterpiece of the Old Gods themselves."

  I don't respond to that, stifling my annoyance at him and being here instead of in my castle where she is.

  The guards outside the throne room open the doors as I approach, and bow their heads. "Lord Vidar."

  My eyes land on the All-Father. His aging face breaks into a smile. I stand before him before I bow my head in respect.

  "Father."

  "Son. It has been too long."

  I nod.

  "Well, don't keep an old man waiting." He steps off his throne and comes forward to me, collecting me in an embrace.

  "You have done well, my son." He pulls away and gives me an analyzing look. "Is all okay in new love?"

  A lump forms in my throat. I don't want to tell him my soulmate hates me.

  "Don't tell me you two are already fighting, son." He chuckles, going back to his throne.

  "She hates me," I blurt out, not even stopping to think.

  And I instantly regret it when father bellows a laugh that fills the throne room. I'm sure he can be heard down the hall. He goes at it for a few moments before he shakes his head.

  "She can't hate you, son. That's impossible."

  "I killed the man she was set to marry."

  "And that you should have."

  "She thinks I murdered her family."

  He quips his eyebrow. "Did you?"

  I only grunt.

  "Then why not tell her the truth?"

  And that is a good question. Why haven't I?

  My father shakes his head. "So, what is your plan? To let her hate you forever?"

  I raise my eyes to him. Of course, that's not what I want.

  "Where is she now, son?" He asks like he already knows the answer so I don't respond.

  "You know, I have thought many things about you, son, but I never thought idiot was one of them. How is she supposed to warm to you if you have her locked up in whatever dungeon she's in?" He raises his voice, reprimanding me. "Were you hoping everything solves itself? You need to work on it, stupid boy." He pauses, his face turning more serious. "And do it in the next six months. I want to meet her, and we are having the union ceremony then."

  My brows furrow. Six months? Can I get her to agree to be my bride in six months? In our culture, we may be soulmates but when the union rites are performed, we both need to be willing. And as it stands, she won’t come anywhere near me. I can't marry a wailing bride. I need to do something drastic, and I need to do it fast. But how do I reach her again?

  How do I make this right?

  "While you think of how you are going to grovel, lunch is ready, and your siblings are waiting to hound you with questions in the grand hall." He rises from his throne. "Let's go before my wife comes and grabs me by the ears." He jokes, all seriousness gone, and I follow him out.

  Loud voices speaking over one another greet us in the hallway before we enter the door to the grand hall.

  "The prodigal son returns!" Thor's voice fills the hall, and all eyes turn to me.

  "Ugh! You didn't bring her?" Hodur sighs. "I was hoping to gaze at her. Sigurd told us she is perfection."

  I growl at my brother when he talks about my queen like that. And it is evident I need to have a chat with Sigurd.

  They all chuckle at my response.

  "Oh, the god of war has a heart! I would have bet my last donkey on the opposite," Baldur mocks.

  "Don't mind their idiotic words, brother. They are just jealous the Goddess hasn't given them any soulmates," Vila says as she smiles at me.

  "We have soulmates, sister... Vidar just probably killed them." Hodur sighs before he laughs and so does everyone.

  I take my seat next to Vila. The only one who has any sense in this room.

  "All of you hush. Vidar found his queen and we should congratulate him," Freya speaks, before she looks at me. "Congratulations, my son. I have always known you have a heart of gold and the Goddess saw it too. That's why she blessed you with a soulmate. Take care of her." She raises her glass of fermented grapes, we all do.

  "To love... and hopefully murder," Baldur jokes and Freya shoots him a warning look.

  "When are we meeting the future queen of Vidar's castle?" Vila asks, setting down her glass.

  "A date has been set for the sixth full moon from now," Father answers.

  "That's far! Why can't we meet her now?" Hodur complains and I narrow my eyes at him. I don't like his eagerness at meeting my woman.

  "Hush yourself, Hodur," Freya warns him.

  "When he daggers you, none of us will do anything," Vila says in Hodur's direction, and he only grins wider.

  The imbecile.

  We divert to other topics, like the elven maiden Hodur met during the tour that he has been leaving the palace to go see every other moon.

  Thor tells the story of how our brother is pining for an elven nun who is sworn to one of our aunt Hela's shrines.

  "The maiden wasn't impressed at all. And this imbecile refuses to tell her the very goddess she prays to is his auntie." Thor bellows a laugh that fills the room.

  "Not everyone is as showy as you, brother. I think it’s admirable, he wants her to like him for him," Vila says, earning an eye roll from both Thor and Baldur.

  "Just take her, she is a subject. Or you are afraid? Are you scared?" Baldur makes a face while Hodur growls at him.

  Baldur just chuckles, happy with himself.

  Another imbecile.

  "Laugh now, but you will be the only one left lonely in this palace when all the brothers marry, and you are stuck with those maidens and brethren of the night," Vila shoots at him.

  "Enough!" father roars and the whole grand hall falls in silence.

  We eat over light chatter afterwards.

  By the time the sun is going down, me and my people go back to my castle. I rethink the conversation I had with my father. The rite is in six moons. I need to do something, and I need to do it soon.

  It occurs to me slightly that on top of the original sins, I now need to make up for the fact that I have kept her locked up for three months, with no sun or contact with anyone. Thalia has always done something. I hope her time alone hasn't made her mad.

  I take the direction of my wing as soon as I arrive and go change.

  My heart pumps faster, with anticipation and trepidation. But I guess there really is no point in postponing the inevitable. Let her hate me and curse my name if she so pleases, but we will face each other.

  I am done hiding.

  Dangling Grapes

  Thalia

  The hollowness in my heart starts subsiding and I know it has to do with Vidar. I can't help the worry that creeps in.

  Is he alright?

  As much as I hate it, and him, I can't help the connection. I feel him inside me and wonder where he was. Though, based on his reputation, he was probably out severing heads and choking changelings.

  That's ridiculous and you know it.

  I shake those unwelcome thoughts out of my head.

  I hate him and that's that.

  To add to how I already felt about him he proved me right when he locked me in here. Who locks someone in isolation for so long? I haven't done anything to him. I tried to take my own life; it had nothing to do with him. Why was he angrier than me at me almost losing my life?

  He just wants me alive so he can finish the job himself.

  He wants to torture me.

  And he could have at least given me Gary. I wonder where my ball of scales and fuzz is. I miss that snag so much. I wrap my arms around myself, and lean back on the headboard.

  The sun just sank, and night is coming. I decide to squint and finish this book about a love story for the ages. A love I will never know.

  I hear something as I turn the page and halt my movements. Then I hear it again, it’s footsteps. Could somebody be coming? My heart rate quickens, and I lick my lips.

  Are they coming here?

  My whole body tingles.

  Vidar.

  I want to scream in agony.

  Probably here to check how broken I am, see his handiwork.

  Should I get off the bed and stand in the middle to show him I still stand tall? But what's the point?

  I let my gaze fall back to the book I was trying to finish when the key turns in the lock and the door opens slowly. I don't look up, but my heart beats in my chest so loudly, I can hear it in my ears. Unwanted thrill travels my body and I stifle any visible reactions and don't look up either or give him any of my time.

  Minutes stretch between us as I continue pretending to read, licking my fingers to turn the pages ever so necessary.

  "You haven't been eating." He accuses.

  My body shudders on its own and I want to kick my own bottom. But I do the only thing I can do; I don't respond.

  Moving from the door, he comes to stand next to the foot of the bed.

  He stares down at me, and his intense gaze burns the top of my head. But still, I say nothing. I am not talking to him.

  "You didn't even eat the grapes I packed for you."

  Again, I don't respond, but I turn the page and yawn like I want to sleep.

  "Let's make a deal. Eat something and I will take you out for some sun tomorrow."

  Anger zaps through me and I almost launch myself at him.

  He is bargaining with me?

  Bargaining with something like getting me outside like I'm a dangerous wild creature. I want to scream at him, to say so much. But I bite my tongue and keep my focus on the book I can’t see much of anymore. If he thinks he can dangle things like fresh air and I will jump to him, he is sorely mistaken.

  "Baby bird, at least say something to me. I'm worried about you."

  I hear and feel his anguish, but I am not falling for that again. He has no right to be in pain. I am the one who is aggrieved, not him. I am the victim here, not him.

  Movement in my peripheral registers as he comes to the side of the bed, closer. Panic sets in. Will he hurt me? The last time I saw him, he had roared like he could bring the whole castle down. What if he is coming back to finish what I couldn't? What if this is where the torture begins? I swallow as tears fill my eyes and take a shaky breath trying to calm myself.

  Great. Now I'm crying in front of him.

  The bed dips as he sits in front of me. I hold the book to my chest; a pathetic defense, and lower my head even more. I don't want him to see I'm crying.

  He stretches his hand to me, and I flinch. His hand stops for a moment before he continues, and hooks his index finger to raise my face. My body shivers at the contact. My insides calm instantly at his touch, and I hate myself.

  Tears fall as I stare back at his half-lit face and vivid green eyes stare back at me. His face is full of concern. Full of regret as he looks at me.

  "I will never harm you, Thalia. I thought by now you would know that." His voice is gentle, and I don't miss the pain in it.

  I stare back at him as he wipes my tears with his other hand. Like he doesn't want to see them on my face. Like they bring him sorrow.

  "Now, please, eat something, for me and tomorrow I will let you out." He isn't threatening me, he is begging.

  Which is strange because I would think if he really wanted to beg he would let me out of here first.

  I don't respond to his preposterous proposition. I simply pull from his touch and go back to looking down at nothing.