Thalia

  The following week we get into a new regiment. Something that feels more natural. After I wake up and prepare for the day, I usually find him waiting for me in the shared living room before we go to breakfast. His wound has completely healed, but it left a scar.

  He moved his cabinet desk to my painting room so he can watch me paint while he goes through his books. I don't know what he does, but he always looks very serious. I paint until lunch and come back and paint some more.

  It's great having the outlet again. Gary is always there demanding attention, and we pass him between us because the snag loves being petted and held.

  I settle on his lap for breakfast without being told and start arranging our food. I have taken over our feeding and pick up the bowl of porridge. After blowing it a few times, I take the spoon to him, and he opens his mouth but I retreat.

  He chuckles and I chuckle too.

  Then I do it again.

  "Thalia," he warns, still chuckling.

  "You look so funny," I say between laughs.

  I send the spoon his way again. But he doesn't open his mouth this time and I sigh.

  "I won’t, I promise."

  He arches his eyebrow, but he opens again, and I do it again. He chuckles and I grin.

  "If you do it again, I will tickle you." He warns, but I have a feeling he wants me to do it again.

  This time I give it to him and see the flash of disappointment in his eyes. I take the next spoon before preparing his next one. He opens his mouth and I retreat and take it in my mouth.

  With intense calmness, he takes the bowl from my hand and places it on the table. Then, with lightning speed, he holds my hands behind my back and attacks me. He tickles me with his mouth on my neck and I scream giggling.

  "Vidar!" I giggle like a child.

  He makes chewing sounds and I laugh harder. I try to move my body, but he has me locked. I try closing my neck, but he doesn't quit. He moves the other hand and tickles my underarm.

  "Stop!" I try again. But my giggling and lack of breath keeps him going. I move my head, and my hair sweeps the bowl of fruit and it shatters on the floor. Pieces flying all directions.

  "My queen!" Bhalar slides into the room and finds Vidar deep in my neck.

  All of us freeze for a moment before Bhalar's eyes drop to the mess on the floor. He ducks down with swiftness. Vidar loosens his hold on me, but I see the flash of annoyance in his face. He takes a napkin and wipes his saliva on my neck. Bhalar makes quick work of everything, and is out of there like someone is chasing him with a pitchfork.

  I look at the porridge, then at Vidar, a challenging smirk on his face. Sighing, I take the bowl. And I don't play games this time and we eat.

  "I am leaving in a few days. My father has given me some Empire business to take care of," he mutters, eyeing me intently. Burying the lump growing in my throat, I try to keep a neutral reaction.

  I have no right to be sad, I remind myself.

  Only nodding as a response, I say nothing more. He looks at me as if he's waiting for me to say more, but I stuff my mouth with a slice of banana.

  "I can stay if you want me to," he says after a few moments. He doesn't stop staring at me as if he is watching for something. A sign, anything from me.

  But I shake my head with a strained heart. "No, of course you should go."

  After breakfast, we go to the paint room, and I spend a few minutes staring at the wall sized blank canvas. Ideas percolate in my head and I know what to paint. But I don't want him to see it until it’s finished, or at least halfway done.

  I want to paint our story. Maybe I'll get some perspective. When he comes back from his trip, I'll have to ask him for privacy. I can't exactly hide it anywhere, so he'll have to be away when I start it.

  My current painting is of the flower garden. The colors from the paint here are so vivid and glossy it almost looks real.

  "This is amazing. You are amazing.” He says from behind me. “But I miss your own paint, the paintings were so layered, and had so much depth."

  "I used to layer it, so much work. Or you just like seeing me sweat, lord Vidar." I tease.

  He wraps his arms around me. "Maybe."

  I chuckle.

  "But I could use some of the natural pigments. I think I can bring more character to the paintings if I have both. What do you think?"

  "I think I'd like to help you pick the flowers. I know your hands itch to grab them." His chest rumbles with a chuckle.

  "They don't itch!" I protest turning in his arms to stare up at him.

  "Could have fooled someone else. You salivate and your fingers vibrate when you see them. Vidar, their colors just jump out to you" he mimics my voice and my hand gestures, and I punch his stomach. He doesn't stop laughing.

  "I don't talk like that!"

  He raises his hands in surrender, and I turn with a pout.

  "And didn't you say it’s our home, so they are my flowers too." I smile to myself.

  When he doesn’t respond, I turn to find his eyes blazing fire. I grin and turn back, my body sending me signals.

  Gary purrs on Vidar's desk, turning our attention back to him.

  "Looks like your snag is waking up," I mutter with a smirk.

  "So, he is not our snag?"

  "No, you spoiled him to be a castle snag. He's yours, lord Vidar." I look over at Gary. "And he looks hungry. Better get on that, your highness."

  He shakes his head in disbelief, retreating to pick up Gary and get him food.

  After lunch we go pick the flowers. Vidar insists on picking them because some are prickly and, honestly, after the last embarrassing incident, I didn't protest. He carries the basket of fresh flowers and takes me to the kitchen.

  We find an elven woman chopping carrots and chunks of meat. She must be the castle cook.

  She drops the knife when she sees us, and bows her head, hands behind her.

  "Lord Vidar, Queen Thalia."

  "Vannah. Thalia, this is Vannah." He nears my ear. "The reason for your interesting noises."

  My eyes widen before I narrow them at him. But he just winks and grins.

  "Nice to meet you, Vannah. You are the best cook in all the realms," I praise.

  "Thank you, my queen. It is a pleasure serving this castle. May I be of any assistance?" Her head still doesn't rise.

  "Vannah, can we borrow one of your stoves?" I ask as Vidar places the basket on one of the large tables. The kitchen is spacious. There is even a table with chairs. This must be where the castle workers eat.

  "The castle is yours, Queen Thalia."

  "The kitchen is yours," I answer.

  Vidar gives me a look and I roll my eyes. Yes, it's his castle, we know.

  After dinner, I read for us with Gary on Vidar's lap. We are easing back into us. Into our friendship and I am happy with that.

  Two days later, I help him pack for his trip. He refused to tell me how long he will be gone. He only ever says a few days, though I feel there is more he isn't saying about that. I walk him to the ship and Gerol takes the bags.

  We stand for a few moments outside the gate. I don't know why we are standing. Gazing into his eyes, I see much behind them, like he wants to say something. Sadness is mixed with a softness. And I see his hesitation to leave.

  But his family's Empire needs him, and he can't always be here holding my hand and picking flowers. Lord Vidar has duties, responsibilities, and it is something I have to accept and live with. After a while, smiling a little, I say, "You won't make it anywhere if you keep staring."

  He chuckles lightly.

  "I know I am a wonder of the gods, but your men are waiting, lord Vidar." I step back with a small bow.

  He doesn't advance on me and after a few steps, I turn, feeling his gaze on my back until I get inside. A cloud of sadness covers me instantly. He's really going away, and the castle already feels colder without him. I head to our wing to find my fuzzy companion. With my paint ready, I think I am ready to start on the big canvas.

  Clarity

  Vidar

  My feet feel heavier the further I walk away from the castle. I will be gone more than a few days from her, and just when things were starting to get somewhere.

  The fog envelops us as the ship moves. Sometimes I am glad the castle is protected by the anti-portal spell because it's safe, but sometimes it’s a pain. Like now. I won't be able to portal back and check on her whenever I want with the little time I'll find.

  My mind stays on my soulmate and the journey we’ve had the past few weeks. How she had balls of iron to attempt to kill me.

  The normal reaction would have been to be angry, but I couldn’t help my heart breaking for her, even in my pride. All the time she spent alone in the library, I should have known.

  Bhalar told me he suspected something when she had shown interest in the celestial books. But I am just glad she made a move. It means her spirit isn’t broken. That she is still strong. Still alive and kicking.

  With some things still between us, I know I must tell her the truth about her village when I return. I have dreaded taking her there because of how they could potentially receive her.

  Even though they shouldn’t, they may blame her for the dead boy, and the few warriors of the village. It is something I can’t control.

  I wrestle with just keeping it from her forever. Will she hate me again for having all her people loathe her for bringing my curse upon them? Because she verily will blame me and be angry at me, and that is a setback I can’t afford.

  With our union less than three months away, I don’t want anything dampening our progress. But what kind of life will we have if I start it on top of lies? Can she forgive me for keeping the truth from her?

  After everything, can she see past my flaws? See that I never meant to wound her? That her happiness and smile are the only things I want for her. That my love for her is true, even without the soul connection.

  It was the soul connection at first but after the year together, what I feel for her is more than something imposed on me. I am in love with her.

  I am in love with my own soulmate.

  Setting my thoughts aside, I walk to the courthouse of the palace, and meet Hodur outside.

  He has a smirk on his face like he knows something I don’t, which is almost always true. My weasel of a brother always seems to know everything. He knows everything about everyone. If he wasn't our father's son, I'm sure he'd be a leader of bandits.

  “The pack representatives are here to discuss your attack on their land. And I must warn you, they want your head, brother,” Hodur says with a big grin.

  I can’t help but smile.

  I walk in, smirking at all the audacious wolves that want to challenge me and have my head. I was a bit down leaving my queen, but it seems my time here won’t be such a waste.

  Thalia

  It's been five days since Vidar left and my heart grows sadder every day. I miss him, but so many things were still not settled between us.

  Although things had started getting to a good place, there are still many things that prevent us from moving forward in any way that matters.

  And I don’t know if I could get over my family’s deaths. We haven’t discussed it directly, and I haven’t asked either. I think a part of me fears his answers.

  What if he confirms my worst fears? How do I feel about everything then? How do I, in good conscious, coddle my father’s murderer?

  But soul connections are strange things. A year ago, I would have never believed that I was actually considering this. I would have thought I was mad. Getting soft on him was definitely not in my plans, but everything is different now. I got clarity.

  And even now as I grapple with my unforgiveness, I know I will forgive him eventually. I know I will yield. I can already feel the soul connection closing in on me. I will be under water soon and he will truly have me.

  I wake up and dress in a long blue dress. I head for breakfast, Gary in hand.

  “Queen.” Bhalar bows to me when I get near him outside our wing.

  “Bhalar.” I bow my head to him too.

  His eyes almost pop out, but I smirk and pass him, leaving him flustered. I know he will not appreciate my bowing. I have learned the creature is too proper. He believes in protocol and anything that breaks that protocol is his enemy. No wonder Vidar likes him so much.

  I have my lonely breakfast, realizing how much I love our tradition of feeding each other. They were right, you never know what you have until it’s no longer with you.

  But I placate myself by feeding Gary, who is only too happy to eat from my hand.

  After breakfast, I head to the painting room. I have a lot of work to do. I need to mix my pigments and prepare myself for the mountain of the job I have chosen.

  I have already decided I will start before our story begins. Before we met. I start with Vidar, emulating a painting of him I’ve seen before.

  He is at a high point of a hill of skulls with a sword dripping the blood of his victims as he stares down at something. Death surrounds him. He is a foreboding, towering shadow with the terrifying red eyes that glow and almost look like they have steam coming out. The painting is dark, and terrifying.

  After I've laid the first few layers, I move on to me. I smile sadly as I paint myself running after my siblings. An unassuming village girl whose biggest responsibility was getting her siblings to bathe.

  I contemplate adding Samson to the painting because he is part of our story, but I don’t know how Vidar will feel about that, seeing that he hates even the mention of his name. I decide to add my father and Farrah instead.

  Days turn into weeks, and Vidar still isn’t back, leaving me to place my full focus on the painting. I have asked for food to be brought to me in the painting room and only leave to sleep.

  I have drawn that day we met; it was a hard one to paint again. This time I paint him seeing me on the other side of the portal, before he killed the mage. I add the words he spoke to me.

  "Run fast, little bird."

  I shake my head and a small smile graces my lips. I should have known Eros was Vidar. Only he has ever referred to me as 'bird'.

  More time passes. And the longer he is away, the hollower I feel. Nothing can distract me anymore. A few days turned into seven weeks.

  Bhalar gives me weekly reports from the outside. Everything is fine. But a few days ago, Vidar was in the wolf and dragon realm having council meetings and the situation wasn’t looking good for the Empire and their standing in the other realms.

  On top of missing him, I have been fraught with worry. What if he is harmed? It's no secret he isn’t the darling of the realms and they hate him. What if they attempt to kill my soulmate?

  I know he is undefeated, but I still worry.

  As I toss and turn all night, wishing for only one thing. To have my soulmate back in my arms. Everything else has melted away and distance has left me with one prominent need: him. I just need him.

  The Children Of Odin

  Thalia

  All life comes back to me when my half-sleepy eyes land on green ones. I forget everything as excitement overtakes me and I jump out of the bed, and run to him.

  "You're home!" I rush into his open arms, and hold him tight.

  "Yes, I am back, my love." He squeezes me.

  I pull away before I leap into him and he kisses my forehead. I shudder at the contact, but bury myself deeper in him. We stand there for what feels like forever, as my heart mends from being broken by his absence.

  "Brother!" A boisterous voice comes from outside of the living room and Vidar stiffens. I pull away, giving him a questioning look.

  He sighs. "That's Thor."

  My eyes widen. Thor? As in, the god of thunder, Thor? The next-in-line-for-Odin's-throne Thor?

  My mouth hangs open.

  "You better be decent!" I hear the amusement in Thor’s voice.

  Vidar gives me an apologetic look before he pulls away from me. "I will be right back."

  I run to the mirror to check that my hair isn't ruined by the midday nap. When I am decent, the door to the chamber opens and I walk out of the washroom.

  "You brought him with?"

  "No." Vidar sighs. "They are here to see you and they have threatened to not leave until they do."

  "Th-they?"

  "My brothers and sister."

  "Um, I... Vidar, I don't know what to say to gods and a goddess."

  He chuckles. "You've done pretty good with me." He nears me. "You'll be fine."

  I shake my head. "Can they take no for an answer? Or a written letter?"

  "They won't leave if they don't see you." He sighs, defeated, and I almost want to laugh.

  "You'll be fine." He says as he rubs my arms.

  I turn and go back to the washroom. I need to fix my hair. I need another dress.

  Vidar walks in as I am trying to comb my hair out so I can separate it in the middle to make two fresh braids.

  "Should I be offended? You've never prepared that much to see me." He stands cross-ankled at the door. I roll my eyes at him.

  "Help me with my hair, lord Vidar."

  "Lord Vidar? If you aren't careful, my queen, you aren't going to make it out of this room."

  I catch the suggestion in his voice, and can't help the grin.

  He comes closer and helps me with the braids and my dress. When we finish, he takes my hand, and we walk to the garden.

  My heart beats quicker when I hear the lively voices. Vidar squeezes my hand and winks at me.

  Refreshments are in front of the guests on the prepared table. I realize that probably should be my job. I should have overseen that. But it's not Bhalar's fault, I have been slacking on my duties. More accurately, disregarding them completely. I had hoped to squeeze in some learning about this castle and my future duties from Bhalar, but the painting took all my time.

  "Queen Thalia!" A brilliant smile from Hodur greets me and then they all turn to me. His skin is as dark as mine and he has piercing blue eyes.