The audacity.

  I have other business to take care of in town. I have to meet Gerol in the market.

  We go on our way in the carriage and the mistress sits next to me fanning herself because of the scorching heat.

  The human lump I'm wearing sweats like I have fought thousands of creatures for days.

  Out of the creatures, I mostly don't understand the Old God's reason for creating humans with none of the things that help the rest of the creatures make life easier. They just have an existence that adds nothing to the realms. They have no power. No magic. No superior intelligence.

  And the Goddess saw it fit that that such a creature should be my queen. Though nothing is weak about Thalia's spirit, I am not impressed by the rest of her kind.

  "Thalia is a good girl." The mistress says out of the blue and I don't give her any reaction.

  "Yes, she is." I answer simply and don't add any questions.

  "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm saying that, boy?"

  I grind my teeth together and tighten my hands around this rope to stop myself from turning and ripping her tongue out.

  "Why do you say it?" I say instead.

  "I see how you look at her. She is a fragile thing and she has been through a lot of pain."

  "And you think I mean her harm?"

  "I don't know who you are, Eros, but there's something that doesn't add up about you. Don't hurt the girl. She has been through enough."

  So, she is more perceptive than I took her for. She has noted my queen and I's interactions. If she only knew who I really am or who her ‘slave girl’ is, she would weep as she begs for the mercy of death.

  "So, you are her protector?" I ask in an even tone, trying to stomp my aggression down because if I lose my calm, it won't end well and my queen will be distraught. And I still want her to remain in oblivious bliss.

  "Yes. The girl has been with me for six years. That day I found her in the forest she had been thrown into this realm by a mage for one reason or another, and when she showed up at my door three days later, she was sun burned, starving, and cracked skin and ribs. You might say I have a soft spot for the thing. So with that said, be careful." The warning is clear in her last sentence. If I hurt her slave girl, she will hurt me.

  I find that comforting. Someone cares for her, even though the mistress cares in as far as she's functioning and doing her house work.

  But if she only knew the person she's worried about is the last person she should worry about. If she was clever, she'd worry for her own life and her own heart. After all, it stands in an unsteady balance whether she'll still have it attached to her body by the time me and my queen must leave this mud hole.

  I don't respond to her, but there is no need. The conversation is over and the message has been sent.

  We arrive in the town square and we park Samson, the donkey. I don't like this animal much. Not since finding out she named the animal after her fiancé, the boy I killed on the day of their engagement. Her way of holding on to the memory of him.

  When I heard that I got so enraged I wanted to ride to the underworld and ask Hel to bring him to me so I can kill him again.

  I wanted to tell her to forget about him because I was here now. We were soulmates and I would take away all her aches. And that he could have never felt for her what I feel for her. His soul never called to hers. Her soul didn't sing for him like it does for me. He didn't know her song. But I do.

  Her song calls to me when I close my eyes or when I have spent too long away from her. Her soul cries for me even when she doesn't realize it. She never needed him like she needs me. He would have never been driven to madness by her absence.

  When I got to that village and I saw her from the mountain walking to the town center to him in that white dress looking all kinds of heavenly, I had seen nothing but red. I lost my mind.

  That was supposed to be mine.

  Everything standing in my way to get to her had to be eliminated. When he came to ask what was this, I couldn't stop myself: he had to die.

  He had her scent on him. He spent a lot of time with her. And I could smell her scent on his lips.

  I laid waste to the men who tried to stop me, sparing only those who were her kin. But she doesn't know that I spared her kin. Because she thinks I'm a monster, she thinks I killed her whole village and her family. I would never hurt her like that. But the boy's fate was sealed; he had to die.

  After I walk the mistress to her tailor, I leave her for the errands. I run to the bakery where Gerol found work as a mixer. We meet at the back. He is disguised as an elf. There is a lot of discrimination in this realm. Understandable when you see how fae folk are treated in all the other realms. To pay that back, they are just as cruel to foreigners, taking most of them as slaves instead of giving them decent work.

  "When are we leaving here, lord? I have fought a thousand men, but I have never been this tired." He complains when we find a corner to talk.

  "We aren't."

  He eyes me with question. "You found your queen, didn't you?"

  I nod. "Yes, I did, but I need time here."

  "So, how much time are we talking?"

  I look at him and understanding fills his face and he sighs. "The rest of the year?"

  I nod.

  "Isn't she a slave like the other humans? Why are you subjecting her, yourself, me, to all the torture? What is the plan?"

  I don't give him my answer, but I growl a low growl. He seems to be forgetting who he speaks with. My reasons are mine, and his is not to question me. He lowers his head in submission.

  "Of course, lord Vidar. Do you need anything?" he schools his face.

  "Yes, get the message to my father that I found her, but I need the remainder of the agreed time. Sigurd must continue in my place. And... I need a tart."

  He eyes me with question, but he gets me a tart wrapped in paper. I go on my way to run the rest of the errands for the slave driver.

  My heart runs when I think of how she will react to the tart. I can't wait to give it to her and the new art supplies.

  Then We Will Have Forever

  Thalia

  Eleven Months Later

  I pant as we make it to the cave, trying to keep up with Eros's longer legs. Normally, I don't lose my breath when I climb this mountain, but Eros always rushes to get to the top and forgets I have shorter legs. To his credit, he did offer to carry me up the mountain, but I refused, like I always do. I am not a sack of manure; I have legs.

  "You would have been useless in battle." He comments with a grin.

  I hit his biceps. "I don't see the army lining at your door to get you to enlist either. Not with those girly hands." I shoot back, but he rushes me and scoops me up in one sweep and throws me into the small space with comfy pillows and tickles me. I scream and Gary comes too to lick my face. The onslaught is too much.

  "No, stop!" I try to struggle as I giggle and try to breathe.

  "Apologize."

  "I'm sorry!"

  "What are you sorry for?" he has both my hands now pinned on top of my head, and he is staring down at me.

  "I'm sorry you have girl hands." I grin

  He holds my hands with one of his and tickles my underarms some more with the other. I laugh until I am out of breath, and he finally lets me go.

  "How about that for girly hands?" he challenges, and I can't even respond as I continue to pant on my back.

  "Th-that was evil."

  "Now you'll think twice before you insult my manhood, woman." He plops down next to me, and I scoot a little to give him space. We lay there for a few minutes, no words spoken before I rise.

  "Getting up so soon?" he complains, as I right my dress.

  "The painting isn't going to finish itself."

  After years of not being able to talk about it or process it, I finally decided to do a series of paintings depicting the day my whole life changed.

  In this painting, I am drawing what I remember when the monster came in and crushed my life. I haven't told Eros the whole story, choosing to duck the topic and give shallow answers whenever it comes up.

  But after a year, I know that I trust him. I trust him completely. And I can no longer deny the things I feel for him. Eros has restored my heart to what it was before. He gave me hope for a tomorrow: a happy tomorrow. Hope for love and more.

  In the past year, he has been more than a Goddess sent. He has been my friend and my biggest supporter. He gets me new supplies when I run out and he loves watching me paint. He stole materials to make the cushions here where he rests most of the time while I paint. I like how he watches me. Like I matter. Like what I like matters. Like what I think matters. Like what I say matters.

  I catch him sometimes looking at me like I am the sky and heavens to him, and that is heaven to me. I find myself drawn in by him and my heart has fell for this sweet gentle giant.

  He often brings a book to read while I paint as him and Gary snuggle.

  The past few months we have had more time to be here because the mistress has been spending considerable time with the mister from the other village and she is gone days at a time now. As a result, we have spent some nights here and woken up in each other's arms with Gary on our feet.

  Waking up to his face always improves my day ten times. I take the satchel from the corner and pull out my supplies and I arrange everything. This canvas is the biggest I've ever painted on. Eros got it for me six months ago and I hadn't known what to paint on it until now.

  So far, I had painted myself with Samson next to the statue of the god Odin on his golden throne, holding the scales on his right and a sword on his left. An irony considering I haven't heard he has done anything about his bastard of a son killing my entire village and the others he has wiped out since.

  I stare at the painting. The members of my village. My neighbors. Little children that all died that day because of me.

  The bright sun is shining in all its brightness, promising prosperity and blessings, but little did we all know.

  Half of the canvas is that beautiful picture with lively colors, and the rest of the canvas is empty. It's what I need to start painting today. My depiction of the monster.

  "You are drawing Vidar today?" Eros's voice comes from behind me, making me jump a little. I hadn't felt him get off the cushions and come closer. I lean my body back on him as I contemplate my task for today. Feelings and images I've buried inside me so deep start bubbling.

  He places his chin on top of my head as we stand there both looking at my half-done painting.

  "Mm," I reply.

  "Are you afraid to remember?" his voice comes in soothing, but I also hear a foreign but heavy note to it; like maybe he is sad.

  "I have tried not to for seven years. I had nightmares for six years."

  "Six?"

  "They stopped a year ago," I say absentmindedly.

  "Mm." Is all he says.

  I've never thought about when the nightmares stopped, but it was around the time I met Eros. His presence in my life has even chased away the monsters of my dreams. That further affirms what I know I feel. He brushes my arms in comforting motions and I feel all fuzzy inside like I always do when even a sliver of his skin connects with mine. It's like even my own body recognizes and accepts him at a soul level; something I've never experienced before, even with Samson.

  "Well, paint and I will be right here if you need anything."

  I nod and he backs away and returns to his cushions and he lays down. I give him one last appreciative look before I turn. I pick up a brush and I dip it in black paint and my brush whooshes in the canvas in fast strokes as I depict the foreboding and all-consuming blackness that befell me and my village that day after my eighteenth birthday.

  With my birthday coming up in a week, I want to start anew. To leave the past behind and start afresh. Eros is my new life, my future. Because of him, I have hope for a future, I have something to look forward to.

  So, when I finish this canvas, I will lay to rest my past and all the bad memories.

  I paint for hours without stopping. I am only stopped by the sunlight that has gone and the lamp doesn't give as great as light I need for the details of the darkness I'm painting. Stretching my arms, I decide it's enough for the day.

  When I turn, I find Eros sitting up staring at me with an intense look, almost looks like guilt but that can't be it. He has done nothing but be good to me.

  "What do you think so far?" I ask, voice hoarse from not using it for hours.

  "You are amazing." Is all he says with a reverent look in his eyes. My stomach growls loudly and I sigh. He chuckles and gets up.

  "Now, sit down and let's eat." He orders me and there is no room for negotiation. He knows I always want to help but I listen. My blue dress has spurts of paint all over it and I'm certain if I were to see my reflection, my face and hair have paint in them too.

  He brings the basket with our food next to me and pours water for us in a cup we keep here.

  We sit and we eat together and feed Gary while we eat. The little snag is vibrating with glee as he is fed. Feeding time is his favorite thing in the world. After we drink, he lays down back on the cushion and he pulls me to his chest.

  I know what I want to do. I am ready to unload all my burdens. We stay silent for a long time before I finally speak.

  "His name was Samson." I start. Eros's body tenses lightly, but he doesn't respond otherwise. He knows about Samson, I told him once the origins of Samson, the donkey's name. "We grew up together and by thirteen our fathers decided we will be married. We were over the moon. We had loved each other our whole lives and after my eighteenth birthday I would finally be his, and he would be mine." I take a moment.

  "I have cursed the sun many times. It lied to me. It had shone like angels themselves would descend to sing for us that day. Like everything had been written in the heavens, and our lives were blessed; blessed by the Old Gods themselves."

  I take a steadying breath and Eros says nothing as he runs his hand up and down my back in soothing motions. "Then he came. One of the gods and he took everything from me. V-Vidar is his name. H-he killed Samson right in front of my eyes." I shudder at the memory, my tears falling freely. I sob in his chest, and he says nothing, just comforts me.

  "The gods stayed silent, Eros. He killed the love of my life." I feel Eros tense. "He killed my family. He killed the mage who helped me escape right in front of my eyes. He slaughtered everyone and the gods stayed silent." I pause.

  "And you know what? The sun didn't hide from him; from his evil deeds. It didn't stop shining. Everyone watched while I suffered. While I was spit on and beaten; they all watched in silence. The Goddess who gave me this fate just watched." I wail in his arms, all the pain I have held inside and all the heartache and sorrow from all the past few years erupting like a volcano. I don't even see Eros's face.

  My mouth trembles as I say, "I will never forget, Eros, and I will never forgive. I don't know what I did to deserve his judgment. Maybe I am cursed. He may come for me someday. And if he ever does," I raise my face from his neck and I look into the vast green of his orbs. "I hope, I pray, he kills me too before he takes anyone else from me."

  I see pain reflected in his eyes. "Shh, baby bird." He comforts me in a low murmur. "I'm here now. No one will ever harm you. I swear on my life and all that I am." The sincerity of his words tell me he means what he says and his promise sinks into my bones and I close my eyes and bask in his assurance.

  I feel his warm lips connect with my forehead. My whole body shudders at the contact and something pulls my body from the inside. I don't understand the reaction, but I don't want to repel it. I wrap my arms around his midsection, and I hold on to him.

  "What do you want more than anything in the world, baby bird?" his question comes unexpectedly. I think for a few moments.

  "I want to be free. I want to go home to collect the pieces of my village, I want to see with my own eyes what remains, maybe then my soul will be free."

  He nods. "I promise that I will give you that. We will make it out of this realm and back to Midgard and you will have what you desire." He pauses. "Then we will have forever." He says in a voice so low I wouldn't have heard him if I wasn't lying on his chest.

  We lay there in each other’s arms whispering visions of a future together away from a life of being slaves.

  Eros.

  My friend.

  My future.

  My Queen, Happy Birthday

  Eros

  My queen and I have gotten only closer in the past year. My patience has paid off and the past year has been the best in my entire existence. Sleep doesn't evade me anymore and I am not plagued by emptiness when I close my eyes, but her song comforts me day and night. I wake up every morning with a new purpose, trying to find ways I can make her smile and how I can make her life easier and happier.

  The mistress comes back today, and I have plans for Thalia’s twenty-fifth birthday. I need to strike a bargain with her to let us both go for the whole day. Everything is ready and I know she will love my surprise. Even though getting things can be as easy as snapping my fingers, it was nice working for everything this time, saving every pin I can get.

  I close the door to the gremlin cave, and I head back to the compound hoping the mistress is back.

  I shake the memories of her tears as her body shook when she told me how the evil god Vidar took everything from her. How I destroyed her life. Even though she wasn't wrong, and I couldn't even tell her her village stands with only a handful dead, her tears tore through my soul. When I gave her my word, I meant it. No harm would ever come to her again. No creature or god would ever harm her. When I take her to our castle, she will never know lack or sorrow. She will be a queen revered by all the realms. My queen.

  Anticipation courses through my body, charging my limbs and propelling them forward faster. I sprint back to the compound, getting there in time with the mistress. I approach her before she gets off the carriage.