There are only a few months left, but what happened to Tychon happened so fast.

  Everything I need is here, but maybe there’s more for me elsewhere.

  The reason this happened has a name and its Elise.

  Elise is why I want to stay, she promised we can’t get hurt if we’re together. I don’t want her to get hurt.

  Tychon’s disappearance is only a one-off, but what if it does happen again?—it always does.

  It’s not so easy to just leave.

  It was hard enough to get here in the first place.

  You’re both being dramatic and difficult.

  Don’t ask me what I think.

  “I can’t help.” Her voice came out in pieces. “It’s just too much. I love you both.” She watched the double doors in the distance and wondered if anyone would walk in on them and solve this issue, just so she didn’t have to hold it all. But when no one did, she moved closer to Haiwrin and gestured for Adair to come forward. She held them both in her arms.

  “You don’t have to help us. We can deal with our own feelings,” Haiwrin said into Veaer’s shoulder.

  “I know this is hard, Ve,” Adair added. It’s hard. So hard. “But tell us what you want to do. This isn’t only about us.”

  As Haiwrin wiped his tears with Veaer’s jacket, Adair continued to stare. Those orange eyes that shone like gems, a beautiful face that she loved to run her fingers across. Coconut and strawberries, a refreshing feast of her own for the last couple of years that made existing less lonely. She didn’t know how to describe the feeling that came with spending time with Adair. If there was a word for wanting to be with someone forever, and trying new things with them, and having them know they meant so much—without what a romantic relationship was. Because she knew there was someone else out there for Adair, and that she didn’t deserve Adair.

  Maybe philia, storge, and ludus was what she wanted to say.

  Haiwrin looked up and he must have known Veaer’s answer. Hurt flickered over his features. He pulled back and stood up, shaking his head.

  Veaer reached an arm out, but he was already walking to backstage. “Haiwrin—”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He turned around with a smile that hardly reached his eyes. “Maybe… think about it, I suppose.”

  “Haiwrin!” Adair tried but made no effort to go after him.

  When he left, silence consumed them, and they continued sitting in silence until the lights turned off on their own.

  CHAPTER 30

  A CONTINUOUS SEARCH FOR BEAUTY

  By Saturday evening, Veaer hadn’t completed anything productive.

  She missed Elise, but she didn’t want to think too hard about what happened the last time they were in the crypt. At least, the bad parts. She brought her fingers to her lips and an overwhelming desire and longing for that moment to happen again caught her heart. But would Elise really want that again? She meant it.

  She didn’t forget to take her antidote on Sunday morning—the reminder kept her up until after midnight and then she forced herself to sleep in case remaining awake for too long would summon the pain and spasms.

  After she took the shot, frustration overtook every thought. She had two papers due next week and a folio to complete before the Friday after next. When she took out her sketchbook and laid in her bed, she did anything but draw. Counting the symbols in the wallpaper, taking her sheets off the bed and then putting them back on, rearranging her closet, and tidying her desk. She picked up the book on angels and Tychon’s tarot journal and they would’ve been a productive way to procrastinate, but she convinced herself that picking them up would be too much of a commitment and, instead, wrapped a spare jacket around both books and pushed them to the back of her closet.

  It was only midday. She decided to take another trip to get water from the kitchen, but when she returned, she noticed that her door was left ajar. She knew the locks worked well so it wouldn’t have opened on its own.

  Caution was her priority when she stepped back into her room and the first thing she noticed was her chair lying on the floor and pushed almost entirely under the desk. She didn’t want to admit that the peculiar placement frightened her.

  When she bent down to retrieve it, checking under the bed at the same time, something hanging from the desk’s underside brushed the back of her neck. Her head hit the table at the same time as she whipped around. A spider, a piece of string, Tychon’s ghost, or something else entirely—it didn’t matter, and she scrambled towards her bed while slapping her hands on her neck.

  A glance back revealed a folded piece of paper attached to under her desk.

  She pulled it out and unfolded it.

  More encoded text. She thought back to Elise finding that piece of paper and immediately going for the cathedral. This information had to lend itself to a location then. She wasn’t provided an instruction for the initiation except to ‘return’, and perhaps the gallery lift wasn’t the best method to try again.

  The only numbers that would relate to the four provided was a time, and she quickly attributed it to twenty-four-hour time indicating eight pm, as instructed on Friday.

  But the slashes between each number confused her. They weren’t required to tell the time, and the numbers didn’t seem to relate to any letters in the grid.

  If Tychon was their original leader, then perhaps his journal’s encoding style was the same.

  She didn’t have to do the third line to realise that wouldn’t work. If anything, she knew by the middle of the first line that things weren’t right but wanted to make sure. Her next idea was backwards:

  She could see the words ‘to’, ‘so’, ‘hat’, ‘at’, ‘pee’, ‘cot’ but none of those seemed all that interesting. But she did like the idea of finding words in the puzzle.

  ‘TFE’ in the first line almost spelt ‘THE’, until she hooked onto the ‘T’ and traced downwards to find the word instead. A gasp escaped her at the realisation that this cipher could’ve been made with the columns, which made sense if the slashes on the numbers were meant to hint at such.

  A burst of adrenaline rushed through her, and she cheered while hopping on her feet.

  And then the fun and warmth disappeared, and she sat in bed until the evening, tracing triangles on a page.

  A hooded protector led Veaer through the tunnels again, and this time they arrived at the door she recognised faster than the trip to the forest last time. The protector opened the door and then stepped back with the rest of the protectors, around six of them, waiting for Veaer to go forward.

  She looked back to see if they would offer any information, but they all looked the same and did the same. Masks full of eyes, dark cloaks, and standing still.

  When she did step in, Elise was already standing by the table at the back of the room, wearing a beautifully short and silky black dress that hugged her curves. Veaer covered her mouth, part feeling under-dressed for track-pants and a t-shirt as her version of dressing lightly, and part to hide the rising blush on her cheeks. I could run my palms down from your shoulders, down, down, down to the hem of the silk and then pull it all the way up, revealing every surface that I can claim—

  If she thought the room was dim last time, now even more lanterns were put out. Every piece of furniture was pushed against the walls and the floor looked incredibly bare. She briefly remembered there being a rug last time.

  “You’re here!” Elise smiled brightly and darted towards her. “I’m glad we can do this together.”

  Veaer smiled back as best she could, noticing that the red-haired angel was crouching to the floor with a piece of chalk. Magical circles and ritual items. All a recipe for the death of Tychon Alastor Galacia.

  “Me too, Elise.” Her hands landed on Elise’s hips, and she gently tugged her forward without a second thought. The material felt so nice, so easy to mold. Then she watched Elise close her eyes, and her heart began beating out of her chest. She leaned forward to meet lips and any regrets or worries dissipated effortlessly.

  “Welcome, new initiates,” a voice drew closer, and the leader appeared beside them in the same outfit as the last time they met. She didn’t miss the white clothing and crystal jewellery that sat in two piles near the door to the next room. “Please get dressed while we set up. We’re very excited for you to join us.” She had to trust the smiling voice behind the mask.

  Elise left her hold and scooped up the clothing laid out for her, then entered the other room to change. But wasn’t Tychon in there? What was that room for? Would they be attacked by the smell of a rotting corpse when they least expected it, another punishment for really thinking this secret society would let them in? But Tychon’s ghost sat in a chair to the side and reminded her that this was okay and what he wanted.

  No screams or crying came from the other side of the door when it shut, and she only noted the rustling of fabric.

  Someone placed a hand on her arm and she jumped, backing up into the table and frantically spinning around in fear of knocking anything to the floor. No broken goblets today, no shards of glass. They would have replacements but that didn’t matter.

  “Sorry, oh I’m so sorry.” This voice belonged to the red hair angel, and upon closer inspection she noticed a small braid just to the side of their fringe. “I—uh, hello. Nice to meet you.”

  Their voice still didn’t have a distinctive quality to it, and it made Veaer wonder how much of this place was fueled by magic. She couldn’t exactly tell what spell it was, but she could feel it. Like hiding one’s ears and tail, but for a voice. Her hands flew to the top of her head and as expected, she found her caemi ears.

  The angel didn’t have any visible caemi features, but through everything she still felt an aura. It was stronger than last time. Something in her knew for certain that this was the same angel as the one in Tychon’s room.

  “Nice to meet you too…” Veaer looked behind them to see if Elise had come out yet, but she was stuck speaking to the mysterious person. They were standing very close. “Did you need something?”

  The angel shook their head and seemed to get the idea, taking a step back. “Everything is fine. Well, I wanted to check… if you’re okay.”

  “With what?” Too vague, and there were a lot of ways to answer if she was okay.

  “You should know what I mean.” The irritated tone in their voice only set Veaer on edge. “You’ve been poisoned.”

  “Then you should know my answer to that!” Veaer shot back and she felt the leader turn to her from behind. Her shoulders shrunk into herself, and she sighed. “Fine, yes. I take the antidote each day and it fixes the problem. It’s quite nice if I don’t think about the poison part. How a little glass of liquid can cure all that…” She didn’t know what to call it.

  “Okay, uh. Drink water. Lots of water, when you take the antidote.”

  “…why?” Veaer crossed her arms and took another step back, but the angel closed the space this time.

  “Alcohol. You can’t take it well. You don’t have the tolerance.”

  Veaer blinked a few times and her arms dropped to her sides. This angel knew her name, wanted to know if she was okay after poisoning her and now was offering advice based on her alcohol tolerance. Why was alcohol even relevant?

  The angel answered as if they read her mind, “The antidote is there, but it’s mixed in with rum or something. You shouldn’t have more than a bit, and again, drink water.”

  She frowned and looked away from the expressionless mask. She didn’t need to take advice from this person, but the urgency in the suggestion had her considering it.

  “Thanks.” She touched the tunic and linen robes on the table to do something with her hands.

  “Fraternising with the initiate?” The leader had joined them, and Veaer noticed that they never mentioned each other’s names. She could understand the anonymity while they weren’t initiated yet, but had everyone else here seen their faces or heard their names? “You know you mustn’t, yet.”

  “It’s a courtesy,” the red angel said in a clipped tone and then went back to finishing the magic circle.

  “Hmm, and you, Veaer.” He leaned forward and she almost saw the smirk behind his mask. “I hadn’t realised you were the type to have more than one partner.”

  Her brows furrowed. She didn’t appreciate these angels making assumptions or suggestions about her when she didn’t know anything about them. “You make it strange by mentioning it. With no context at that.”

  “You and Adair, you and Elise. It’s so entertaining.” He laughed and Veaer forced one hand into a fist as the other counted fours. 1, 2, 3, 4.

  “What in the name of the patrons are you talking about? How do you know anything about me and Adair?” She turned her body away, but it only made her face the completed circle and the candles that were being placed along the edge. Memories crept up the walls of her mind and she shivered in anticipation of what would come next.

  “Thursdays,” was all he said with a shrug and then he walked past her to light a stick of incense by the vent.

  The first name that came to mind was Izot Excava and that alone made her narrow her eyes to the back of the leader’s head. But Izot didn’t have dark skin and braided hair. At the same time, could she even trust her own eyes?

  The door next to her opened and in the doorway stood a redressed Elise.

  Elise’s beauty and elegance instantly enamoured Veaer, now seeing the white cloth with embroidered purple, orange and blue hems in detail—on someone she really did want to lay her gaze on until she learnt every bit of her body inside out. Each earring twinkled when they managed to grasp a flicker of candlelight. Her necklace created an alluring line across her chest. Beautiful, beautiful, so beautiful.

  They would be beautiful together.

  CHAPTER 31

  RITUAL

  The ritual began with guided prayer by the leader, hang drum music playing through the gaps in the walls.

  “Thank you, Angelus Caelum, for joining us. May the tower of air guide you safely and swiftly to our protection this circle today where we shall initiate Veaer Rosell and Elise Excava to the Ascension Order.

  “Thank you, Angelus Cetus, for joining us. May the tower of water guide…”

  His voice carried on in a repetitive fashion, but Veaer couldn’t peel her eyes away. He didn’t need to refer to any papers or books, and each word was smooth, like practised many, many times.

  She inhaled the earthy scent of the incense and the walls around her started to breathe. They must have loved the smoke as well, an intoxicating quality that made her wonder if a candle was made in this flavour so she could keep it in her room forever. There was also something metallic that she wouldn’t quite place, whiffs of something like burning sulphur.

  “Angelus Caelum, Angelus Cetus, Angelus Orion, Angelus Pavo. The power of the past, the vision of the future.” The leader clapped twice, and then bowed his head. His voice echoed through the vast and cavernous space that seemed to expand by the hundreds in seconds. “We also meet today in memory of Tychon Alastor Galacia, descendant of Iris Galacia, spirit of Angelus Caelum. His service will not be forgotten, and his legacy will survive for lines to come.”

  Veaer bowed her head too, and she wished to have been on her knees in order to bring her forehead to the chalk lines and stain it to show something of her guilt. But for now, she was weightless and floating above the circle, unbothered and tingling. Her limbs stretched and shrunk.

  The leader continued, “We and our initiates have brought offerings for your favour.” The four of them sat at each quarter of the circle, surrounded by a selection of items. The items spun and their colours became brighter and more intense. The spheres became pyramids, and the discs became bowls and then flat again. “The candles that behold this circle are for you. We present a selection of fruits for you to feast on with us.”

  Veaer grabbed the plate of ripe red apples next to her and the red angel lifted their chin in approval. The plate was soft and pliable under her touch, as if it would fall through her fingers at any moment. She placed the apples as close to the middle of the circle as she could. Elise did the same with a pile of green grapes.

  “We also offer our ritual actions in initiation.”

  Her heart pumped to the beat of the music as they all picked up a small blade. The euphoria consumed her, and terror devoured her, and she felt truly happy to be here when she set her eyes directly across from her and saw Elise laughing. More laughter joined in from inside her own head.

  Blood rushed through her veins as they all set a goblet of wine in front of them and held their fingers over the rim. The blade pierced her skin and a drop of red trailed down her thumb and into the liquid. Veaer stared at the ripples and smiled at the crystal butterflies dangling from her ears.

  She followed the others in tracing her nicked thumb along the edge of the cup and then her other hand grabbed a pinch of cinnamon to sprinkle on top.

  A flame burst from the wine and Veaer laughed before she blew on the fire. Her vision exploded into a kaleidoscope behind her eyelids as she brought the cup to her lips and drank.

  When she lowered the cup, the walls had turned from brown to yellow, the circle wider and a strong draft almost tripping her. She remembered the sound of dripping crypt water and now it was loud and rushing in her ears. She looked down and the floor dropped into a pool of beautiful crystal water. So refreshing, so clear.

  Elise was standing next to her and held her hand, tightly. Her lips moved but nothing came out, just rushing, rushing water. She looked divine, like a guardian spirit who had descended from the heavens, basking in a holy, holy, holy light that only she could see because she was worthy enough to see, but not worthy enough for what wisdom Elise was bestowing upon her.