Suddenly a click resounded through the relatively empty hall and both of them snapped towards the door that opened ever so slightly. In the darkness that slipped through, nothing made itself known.

  Adair rushed up and tried to push on the door, only to be met with resistance from the other side. Haiwrin must have been standing against it, listening to them speak.

  The orange caemi laid her palms on the wooden door. “Hai? Hai, is that you? Oh, who else would it be? Please let me in, please?”

  “Veaer,” Haiwrin said, his voice fragile like frayed rope, and sent a spark of lightning up Veaer’s neck that had her standing next to Adair too. “Just Veaer.”

  Adair’s hands slipped from the door and landed weakly by her sides. Her cheeks puffed up with air and the tips of her ears turned red. “Why not me?”

  “I will close this door if you don’t leave.”

  Veaer stared through the gap and now caught the glint of blue that reflected against Haiwrin’s eyes. She pursed her lips, words escaping her and unable to understand why he wasn’t opening up to Adair either. They were perfect twins to everyone else, complementing and two halves. Good looking and well educated. Blue and orange. She had witnessed a few disagreements here and there for silly reasons that she had no problem being the tie breaker of, but this situation was entirely different.

  “Don’t do this, Hai. You can’t do this, not now.” Adair faltered between reaching up to push the door again and keeping her hands to herself. “Class is starting soon.”

  “Then get out of your pyjamas and go.” He shut the door with as much of a slam as a slightly open door could—not much of one, but enough to force Adair to step back.

  Veaer met Adair’s step but kept staring at the door. After a moment, she leaned back in and said, “Haiwrin, I’ll be back later with some water and food, okay? Please don’t do anything stupid.”

  A small grumble came through, “Fine.” Then shuffling, and silence.

  “Argh!” Adair flung her hands in the air and stalked down the hall, grabbing Veaer’s blazer from around her shoulders and holding it in the crook of her arm as she stomped around. “I can’t believe him!”

  “Adair, what’s going on?” She approached slowly and took the blazer to slip back on. They were heading to Adair’s room, supposedly to action Haiwrin’s request. “There’s something else.”

  “There’s nothing.”

  “You said something was distracting you.”

  Adair unlocked her door and waited for Veaer to step in before shutting it behind them. “Yeah, school and stuff… assignments. Essays.”

  “You’re not that great at lying, sorry.” Veaer punctuated her words with a chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Adair only froze. “Addie… sorry. I didn’t mean anything—”

  The orange caemi then mumbled something over and over to herself, so quietly that Veaer couldn’t hear, and when she leaned in to try and get a better listen, her arms were grabbed, and she was forced to sit on the bed with Adair dragging her desk chair over to sit across from her.

  Adair carefully took Veaer’s hands in her own. “Veaer,” she began, “There’s something I want to tell you.”

  The air was suddenly sucked from Veaer’s lungs as her vision flashed between Adair’s soft face and a mask of a million eyes. She returned to last night when the walls grew and shrunk and danced to the music. Smashed glass played over and over again, and she blinked hard to bring herself back to the present.

  “A… A secret?” Veaer blinked again and tried to pluck her thoughts from the sky.

  “No, not a secret. That makes it… more than it is. I want you to get to know me more, because I care about you.”

  Blood pumped against her ear drums and her shoulders stiffened. Her hands were searing hot compared to the rest of her body and she didn’t realise what was happening until she looked down and watched fire engulf both of their hands and climb their arms.

  She screamed and tried to scramble back, finding herself stuck in place and only feeling hot, hot, hot from whatever was happening.

  “Addie… Adair, what are you doing? Is this… magic? It’s…”

  Everything flicked from light to dark as she pictured the glowing outline of R and the fire that flowed from Adair’s hands and into hers. Caemi magic, right in their hands, within the limits of barriers that restricted magic and caemikind.

  “This isn’t possible…” Veaer gasped and settled down, the fire cooling off, yet it only climbed onto her even more. At some point, the fire turned completely red and fought against the orange of Adair. Power coursed through her veins, and she had never felt more alive and rejuvenated.

  “I think I’m better at hiding things than you know, Ve,” Adair said in a voice that was hers but not at the same time. It sounded like R, the short redhead, in an order of angels that pulled her in and wouldn’t let her go. Not that she wanted to leave, not after everything she had done within the circle. Not if it was her penance for her sins. “Yes, this is magic. My aura attuning to yours.”

  “But the anti—”

  “Is for students. The anti-magic field is for student level magic. You know that the faculty is using their own magic to keep us in place. To keep you in place.”

  “But you’re a student.” Caemi couldn’t attune to each other’s auras here.

  “In Adraredon Academy, yes. In the Ascension Order, I am more than that. I’m an angel.”

  In a burst of light, the orange and red came together to form two large, beautiful wings behind Adair, taking up the height of the ceiling and length of the room. They flapped in a slow rhythm, sparkling and so bright yet Veaer could not rip her eyes away until Adair took her chin to face them.

  “You said so yourself, Veaer.” Their voice crackled in and out from a voice she knew to the one she recently made acquaintance with. Their hair morphed into something between long orange hair and short red hair. “You remember what we talked about last night, don’t you?”

  Veaer nodded frantically, afraid that any other response would earn something even worse than what was happening. Adair was R. R was Adair. One in the same.

  “This whole time… you were telling me…”

  “It’s really happening, Veaer! We’re going to be angels!” Adair laughed and the sound was so loud yet contained in her own head. “Look at how powerful I am, stronger than I’ve ever been. This is what Tychon intended, and Q and I are going to keep going.” Adair’s feet lifted from the carpet until their entire body was horizontal in the air, their wings forming a ceiling above Veaer. Their hands lifted Veaer’s cheeks. “Oh, it’s just been so much, Veaer. To keep it all inside, to wait for each ritual, to watch you from under a mask. I am but another student among others, magic simmering under my fingertips but following the academy rules. And then my brother… he’s so troublesome. He wants to leave but we can’t. Not now. We haven’t reached our full transformation. Our highest ascendance. And it’ll be okay because I have you now.”

  Veaer blinked and her mouth opened and closed. Adair was so incredibly beautiful yet terrifying at the same time. Their clothes burned in the auratic flames, and it was fortunate that they weren’t wearing their uniform. Embers dropped from each golden feather but vanished before they hit the carpet. The body she had gotten to know shifted between curves to hard edges, to both at the same time which had blood rushing to Veaer’s cheeks. She had the incredible urge to reach out and run her hand through Adair’s wings and across their divine body—and then stopped herself.

  Her chest tightened and it was as if Adair’s form was taking the oxygen from the room. She stood up and spun towards the window, grabbing onto the bottom and trying to force it up, but it just wouldn’t move. Then she ran for the door before Adair grabbed her and turned her around. Veaer floated from the floor into Adair’s arms, raspy for air.

  “You—you tried to kill me.” Veaer brought her hands up to push Adair away, but it was no use. There was nothing to push away.

  “Oh, the air? It’s a little thin but all the better for you to become like me.”

  “No… No!” Veaer wriggled and turned her head towards the bed, aiming for it if she were to drop suddenly, but nothing went her way. She was only brought closer to Adair’s face, more wings sprouting from their back to hold Veaer in place. Two eyes turned to four turned to eight turned to sixteen and kept going. Rings of gold situated themselves around Adair’s head until they were unrecognisable except for the jewels in their many, many eyes and the touch of their many, many hands. “You poisoned me! You were going to kill me even though you knew who I was!”

  “That wasn’t my idea!” they screamed, like Veaer imagined an angel would. Horrifyingly and raw. Scratching her ears in the completely wrong way. “That was Q. He was making sure no one could take our power away. No one can hurt us like they did Tychon.”

  Where was Tychon when she needed him? He was never as forward as this, except for last night when he just had a moment. He always stood on the sidelines and watched, careful and quiet. That was better than this.

  “You fucked me over, Adair. And you know that. You know what you did. I wake up every day with that stupid poison in me and I have to drink that stupid antidote.”

  “It’s for our own good. It’s to protect us,” R hissed into her ear. “And it’s a reminder of the sacrifice we must make to create ourselves. We must abstain from our material needs and only then do we become more like the angels.”

  “Get away from me!” Veaer thrashed around again and this time she dropped, onto the floor and onto her back.

  “You’re no different than me.” The angel floated downwards until their feet met reality. The wings dissipated as did the eyes and extra arms. Their hair returned to what Veaer knew, orange and reaching the middle of Adair’s back. If Veaer didn’t know better, she may have imagined the entire thing as her friend smiled sweetly while looking into her eyes. “You have a thirst that cannot be sated. What did you say, again? The quest for knowledge?”

  “That’s…” Veaer crawled towards the door and hoisted herself up in a hurry. Her back hit the door when Adair got closer. The pain in her head pulsed and the wood didn’t help one bit. “That’s different.”

  “Tell me how. Tell me, how far would you go? To know, to understand. You’ve always been this way, ever since we met. You couldn’t get enough.”

  People like her have secrets, secrets only people like me can find—can pull out from between petals and thorns.

  I’ll keep her secret. I’ll do what she says. I’ll follow her steps. I’ll join the order. I’ll dance to the music. I’ll listen to the angels. I’ll pray to them too. Don’t hurt me, Angelus Pavo. Don’t hurt me Kitt. Don’t hurt me Elise. Don’t hurt me Adair.

  I’ll love you. I’ll love as much as I can until I know.

  “I—” Veaer stared at Adair’s lips and then eyes. They were so… normal.

  “Exactly,” Adair answered with high reverence skimming the edges of their voice. “So far.”

  “I don’t understand—” The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop, and it only fed into Adair’s smile.

  “Yes, so you will want more. You’ll figure it out, lovely.” Adair pushed forward and every passing second had Veaer attempting to climb the wall in any way she could. As they stopped, they hovered their palm under Veaer’s chin. “Please, make sure Haiwrin is okay?”

  Veaer juggled two cups of water, an apple, and two sandwiches in her arms as she weakly knocked on Haiwrin’s door to avoid spilling anything. It only took a few moments for Haiwrin to open up and let Veaer in.

  She kept a close eye on Haiwrin until she got to the desk to put everything down, lest he also turned into an angel in front of her too. But he seemed fine, if a little wary himself, as he closed the door. His hair was sticking out in random places and his bed was unmade. Snack packaging and paper cups littered the floor around the bed frame. The window was shut, and the curtains were drawn.

  He was at least dressed in his school uniform, so there seemed to be an intention to attend class.

  She drew the curtains back and slid the window open, glad for the fresh air she wasn’t able to manage from the other twin. She opted to distract herself by picking up the rubbish and pulling a trash bag from her pocket, aware of how staying in the same room for a few days would turn out.

  Haiwrin moved somewhere behind her, grabbing one of the ceramic cups from the table and taking a long drink. He mumbled a small thank-you before asking, “How you doing?”

  Veaer paused mid chip pack pick-up and turned to Haiwrin. “What do you mean? I’m not the one who stayed in my room for four days.” She shook her head and tossed the pack with the rest. “We’re not here for me, I’m here for you.”

  He shrugged and took a seat at his desk, also taking a breath of the light breeze. “It was the easiest way for me to start the conversation.”

  “Okay well, I’m doing okay. I think.” Two laughs echoed in her ears, the laughs of angels. “Learning a lot.”

  “Me too.”

  “Oh yeah?” She tied up the rubbish bag and tossed it by the door. “Take that out when you go to class.”

  “Alright, and yes. I’ve had time to think. It’s hard sometimes, when we’re in proximity in this manor.” He waved his hand vaguely in the direction of the hallway. “I don’t feel great about skipping classes and leaving you hanging. It was just so…”

  Veaer leaned against the wall next to the window and pointed towards the other cup on the table. Haiwrin passed it over before he continued, “I was so frustrated. I know you were listening, but Adair didn’t get it. She didn’t even try to understand. The moment I said we were leaving, she already knew she wasn’t.”

  “How are you feeling now?” Veaer asked carefully and then sipped from her cup to fill the silence, so that Haiwrin had a moment to think.

  “Better, kind of. I don’t really want to go to class. But I’m happy that I got out of bed and got dressed. Those shirts and pants need a wash.” He nodded towards a pile of laundry in front of his closet. “Thank you for coming, Ve.”

  The corners of her lips tugged up and she stepped over to the desk to place her cup down. “You need to eat something.” She pushed the sandwich closer to Haiwrin. “Your sibling put me up to this. Wanted me to make sure you were okay.”

  “Of course.” He sighed and stared at the sandwich. “Apart from my relief about seeing you and getting dressed, this other feeling is here to stay. Like… I feel it inside, under my heart. It’s heavy and numb at the same time. It makes me sad and want to close everything away. Maybe it’s safer this way, in here. Until they force me to go home.”

  Veaer pressed her hand to her chest and tried to channel her own feelings in order to understand. Something sat under her heart as well, but she didn’t know how to describe it. It was something that continued to expand and shrink, sometimes racing, sometimes so still. It wasn’t the same as Haiwrin, though she could tell there wasn’t an easy solution to this.

  He unwrapped the sandwich and took one bite, then put it back down. “It’s a lot. Rehearsals, new scripts. Doing drama brings drama. The new lead’s understudy isn’t happy about their casting and there are some first years that don’t know how to conduct an act change—I get it, they’re new. But why did they choose music and performance if they didn’t have any experience before Adraredon?” She nodded. There were plenty of art students who chose art because they thought it was easy. Their acceptance to Adraredon was based on the riches their family provided. “And then Tychon… and you, you’ve been doing other things so you’re around less. And Adair is getting annoyed at me. It makes me realise I don’t have that many people to rely on here—maybe that’s why I feel so adamant about going.”

  Veaer sniffed and swung an arm around Haiwrin, bringing his head closer to her chest. They remained there with a heartbeat between them.

  She wasn’t one to project herself too much into the future anymore, because she had done it so much as a little girl. There was no use when the world didn’t open itself up to her. She didn’t want to think about what would happen after graduation.

  “I’m not much better than those first years, but is there anything I can do to help?”

  Haiwrin took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, allowing some of the pesky strands to blend with the rest. “Walk with me to class?”

  CHAPTER 36

  WHEN THE PAST MEETS THE PRESENT

  Veaer’s professor walked past her desk and dropped a folded piece of paper in front of her. A shiver struck her shoulders and her gaze hovered until she spotted a pencil she didn’t mind disposing. She nudged it with her arm until it clattered on the floor and she bent down to double check underneath her desk, just to find it empty. She exhaled a sigh of relief and opened her feedback form.

  Appreciated your effort in describing how choice of art form can reflect an artists’s mind palace. Would be interested in hearing more personal experiences and applications rather than gathering from textbooks. Self-reflection is required for at least 10%. Make sure to reference in the academy style. This assignment requires no re-submission. Take note for future reference.

  She grumbled at the words, and a fleeting insult crossed her mind. Part of her wanted to walk up to the teacher and rip her head open to show how little room there was for this self-reflection in essays. She preferred the practical assignments over the theory ones. But she usually didn’t have issues with referencing, and self-reflection only came into play in Art 5. Maybe her idea of cruising through the last year wouldn’t suffice.

  She tapped her pen on her desk, not realising that it was clicked open and leaving unsavoury marks all over her fresh sheet of paper. A noise of frustration remained stuck in her throat.

  The supply cart was unoccupied now that everyone was getting into their own work, and so she made her walk of shame to grab another paper. Just as she reached for it, another hand landed under hers.