I keep that hand on her knee and reach the other one up to rest against her cheek. She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh as I touch her.

  “Do you want me?” I rasp. My heart pounds in my chest.

  “I shouldn’t.” She whispers it so quietly I wouldn’t hear it if I wasn’t waiting for her reply.

  “But you do.” It’s not a question this time. It’s a declaration I know to be true.

  “It’s not right.”

  “What’s not right about two people who are single and attracted to each other acting on those feelings? Who would we be hurting?”

  “Zack.” Her soft answer halts my hands. Her eyes spring open and pain radiates in her gaze.

  “He doesn’t have to know. We can keep it between us.”

  She doesn’t reply and I try to gauge her reaction.

  “Can I kiss you? If you hate it or don’t want more, I’ll walk away. I won’t try again. But please, let me try.” It’s like I’m begging, but it doesn’t feel wrong. I meant it when I said she deserved to be worshipped, and I will happily kneel at her feet and do so for as long as she’ll let me.

  Her eyes darken and her nod is barely noticeable. I strike while I have her agreement, pushing my hand to rest at the back of her neck as I lean forward to brush my lips to hers.

  We are hardly touching, and yet, it’s like the most intense experience of my life. An electricity starts in my lips where our mouths meet and it spreads until every cell in my body is celebrating this moment. I take her mouth with more greed as I brush my tongue over the seam of her lips. I want to devour her. She finally seems to give into it, her hand tangling in my hair.

  My elation soars as she kisses me back, our lips roving over each other and I can do nothing to hold back the groan that rises from deep in my belly. I worry the noise will frighten her, but she surprises me with an answering whimper.

  I let her ravish my mouth, enjoying the sensation of being so close to her. My hand on her knee begins moving now, smoothing slowly up her thigh. She lets her legs fall apart, and it’s the only encouragement I need to scoot forward, placing myself between them as I suck up the needy moan she gives.

  There’s heat emanating from her pussy, and I need to get closer. I break apart from her lips, intent on laying my mouth on every inch of her skin. She throws her head back, her breaths coming out in fast pants. I know how she feels. I’ve been so intent on kissing her that I forgot I needed oxygen to exist.

  I trail my mouth down her neck, nipping at her skin and lathing her with my tongue as she pulls me close to her.

  A noise distracts me and I try to work out what it is. Mel pulls back and raises a hand to her face, her fingers pushed against her lips as if she can’t believe we were just kissing.

  From downstairs, the sound of the door slamming shut echoes towards us.

  “Alex? Mum?” Zack’s voice calls.

  “Fuck,” comes Mel’s pained whisper.

  “It’s okay. I’ll go and see him. I need to get to work anyway. Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know.” Her eyes brim with unshed tears.

  “We didn’t do anything wrong.” I try to comfort her, but her panic is evident in the shake of her hands and her teeth biting hard on her bottom lip.

  I rise from my place between her legs, brushing my knuckles across her cheek, before striding over to the door.

  “Hey, I’ll be down in a sec,” I shout to Zack, listening out to see if he’s coming upstairs. “I can’t hear him. I’ll go and head him off while you take a moment. Okay?” She’s looking calmer now as she sucks in a deep breath and her eyes meet mine, which I take as a good omen.

  I will my rock hard cock to calm the fuck down as I swing by the guest bedroom and grab my hoodie. I hold it in front of me as I make my way downstairs. Am I a shit friend for kissing his mum? Something that could be guilt swirls in my stomach, but I refuse to regret what just happened.

  “Hey, you want one?” he asks, holding out a can of Coke.

  “Nah, thanks, I was just getting ready to head to work. Your mum gave me the spare key.”

  He nods. “Where is she?”

  I shrug. “In her office, I guess.”

  We chat for a while, Zack complaining about a college assignment. It’s like we’re a million years apart in age when he talks about college life. I’ve been out of that space for a few years now and it’s difficult to relate to how difficult the college work is when I don’t know where I’m living beyond tomorrow. But that’s not his problem, and I think I’m probably salty because he interrupted my make-out session with his mum.

  “I gotta head. I’ve got some training at the bar and then a shift.”

  “Maybe I’ll see if Rich wants to meet me there for a drink. We can come and heckle you.”

  “Ha, sure. As long as you leave a decent tip.”

  “You think I’m made of money?” he asks with a chuckle.

  “I’ll catch you later.”

  The house was empty when I stopped at my mum’s to get some more clothes. I was able to get in, get changed, and pack up a rucksack with some things before heading to The Thirst Trap.

  I pull the bike up at the back of the pub so it’s tucked out of the way. I lock it up and take my helmet and rucksack inside with me.

  “Hey, it’s Alex,” I shout as I enter, not wanting to give Abby a fright. She was opening up at lunch today and offered to walk me through the till and ordering system, as well as mixing up the most popular cocktails in the quiet hours this afternoon.

  It’s going to be a long night, but I should be able to get an hour’s break and on the longer shifts, there’s normally a meal on offer for no charge. I’ll get fed and trained up in the hope I can start taking more shifts.

  I steer down the back corridor to the staff break room. There’s a wall of lockers on one side and I manage to fit my stuffed rucksack, hoody and bike helmet in one, taking the time to lock it given my laptop is stashed inside. I’m wearing a band t-shirt, jeans and my biker boots. Tom and Abby haven’t mentioned a dress code, but the permanent staff tend to wear tees or polos branded with the Thirst Trap logo.

  The door opens and Abby walks in, a big grin on her face. “Hey Alex, how are you doing?”

  “Good, thanks. Is this okay to wear behind the bar?” I gesture to my outfit. She looks me up and down with a quirked eyebrow.

  “Hmmm, we can do better than that. Men’s medium for the shirt?”

  “Err, yeah, maybe a large.” I watch as she opens up a locker at the end and rummages through some packaged items. She tosses one to me and I realise it’s a branded t-shirt.

  “Try that. See if it fits.”

  “Okay.” I think nothing of it when I whip off my current t-shirt and then rip the packaging open on the one she threw at me. She has an assessing look in her eyes as she checks me out, although it doesn’t seem to be sexual. “Looked your fill?”

  “It would be rude not to check you out when you stripped off so nicely for me.” She winks, and I can’t hold back my chuckle.

  I pull the medium black top over my head and down. It’s snug. I frown. “Maybe the large would be better?”

  “Nah, it’s perfect. You want some tips, don’t you?”

  Shaking my head, I can’t help but chuckle. “You think this is gonna earn me some tips?”

  “I know it will. Especially if you’re on shift on Friday. We’ve got a live singer in and he’ll be drawing the ladies in. Let’s get you trained up so you can make all their cocktail desires come true.”

  Chapter nine

  Mel

  Ican’t believe he kissed me and that I kissed him back. I’ve pretty much been in full-blown panic ever since. My work has been non-existent. I need to get this contract reviewed, but there’s no way I can focus on it now. It was a relief when I heard the rumble of his bike as he rode away.

  What the hell was I thinking?

  He’s just too tempting; the way he looked at me, desire dripping from his gaze. It had stoked a fire in me that I hadn’t realised was there. And apparently, a man getting on his knees and telling me that he wants to worship me is a huge turn-on. Who fucking knew? I’m going to still be fantasising about that when I’m old and in the retirement home.

  Not for the first time, I raise my fingers to my lips and brush over them. I’d been more turned on by that kiss and him on his knees than I think I had the whole time I was married to John.

  It would be so easy to give in, to take it further. When my mind was foggy with arousal, it was hard to remember why I shouldn’t do it. Why I shouldn’t give in to this fantasy that keeps running like a movie or one of my favourite books through my head.

  I realise I’m not getting anywhere sitting here going over it again and again in my mind. I grab up my phone and send a quick text to Cassidy.

  Me:

  Mayday

  I stare at the screen, willing her to reply. I could just call her, but I don’t want to disturb her if she’s writing or busy with Tom. I drum my fingers on the desk, trying to decide what to do.

  I pull up my earlier call log and stare at Alex’s number. It’s not yet saved with his name, but I do that, so if he calls me again, I’ll know it’s him. And hopefully, do myself a favour and ignore it. I click on his name and type out a quick text:

  Me:

  That shouldn’t have happened. We can’t do that again.

  I hover over the send button, but something pulls me back from clicking it. I heave a sigh and delete the drafted message, throwing my phone on the desk in frustration.

  I’ll check on Zack. That should bring me to my senses.

  I find him in the lounge, shouting orders into his headset at whoever he’s gaming with. He doesn’t even notice me loitering in the door and I don’t want to disturb him, so head through to the kitchen. I busy myself with dinner prep, pulling ingredients out of the fridge to start a curry.

  A while later, Zack saunters through, nose in the air. “Smells amazing, Mum. What are you making?”

  “Just a curry, love. There should be some leftovers for tomorrow, too.”

  He’s rummaging around in the fridge and backs out with a can of beer in his hand. “Hey, I had a thought earlier.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I glance over at him, wondering what’s on his mind.

  “We’ve got that space above the garage, and when Dad first left, you were talking about getting a lodger.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. I haven’t really thought about it since then.” I tread carefully.

  “Perhaps we could clear it out for Alex if he needs somewhere to stay longer term? I don’t think he'll give you any bother.”

  It’s with an immense sense of relief that I’m able to say, “I think he’s got somewhere, love. When I gave him the key earlier, he was talking to his sister and I think she’s found him somewhere to stay from the weekend.”

  “Oh, sweet. Never mind then.” He shrugs it off as though it’s no big deal and I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have to come up with a reason why Alex can’t live here with us on a more permanent basis. Even in the bedsit above the garage is too damn close.

  Once we’ve had dinner, Zack shoos me out of the kitchen to leave him to tidy. Thank you, Alex, for influencing him to help out more often. I head upstairs to grab my phone that I left on the desk earlier, spotting multiple messages and three missed calls from Cassidy. I read through the messages.

  Cassidy:

  Hey, what’s up?

  Dammit, Mel, pick up. What’s going on?

  How very dare you send me a mayday text and then ignore me. If I don’t hear from you within the next hour, I’m going to make Tom drive me to your house to check on you.

  Oops!

  I check the time. Thankfully, I’m still within the hour window she gave me. When I call her, she answers before it’s barely had a chance to ring.

  “Mel… Thank god. Are you okay?” Relief sounds in her tone.

  “I’m fine. Sorry to worry you.”

  “Why the hell did you mayday me?”

  I look over to the office door and decide to close it. Zack will probably go back to his gaming after tidying the kitchen, but it’s best he doesn’t overhear this.

  “I kissed him. Well, he kissed me. But I kissed him back.”

  “Who?”

  “Alex,” I whisper.

  “Alex? The twenty-something-year-old? Yass, Mel, get in there.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard her so gleeful.

  “He’s twenty-five.” It seems important to point that out. “It was a mistake. I don’t know why I gave in, but he got down on his knees and said he wanted to worship me. Apparently, that’s all I need to give into attraction and leave my morals at the door.”

  “He got on his knees?” Her voice pitches high with excitement. “Sweet mother of god, you need to keep him. He sounds like exactly what you need.” I heave a sigh. “What happened next? Tell me you got further than kissing.”

  “We got interrupted. He’s gone to work. I’m grateful for the time to cool off, to be honest.”

  “Honey, I don’t think you need to cool off. I think you need to jump into this situationship with both feet. I say you seduce him when you see him next. When will that be?”

  I gasp. “I can’t do that,” I almost shriek. “He’s Zack’s friend. And he’s staying here for a couple of days. It would be like taking advantage of someone in my care.”

  “Mel, stop. He’s twenty-five. He’s a grown-ass man. And from everything you’ve said… he’s hot. This doesn’t have to turn into the love of your life. Just let yourself have some fun and blow off steam.”

  I close my eyes, not that Cassidy can see me. I don’t know why I thought she’d help me see sense. I should have guessed that the sex-crazed, smut author—who, until very recently, was part of a throuple—would be trying to enable me to sleep with Alex.

  “I say you jump his bones. When does he get back from work?”

  “It’ll be late. He’s at the pub. I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but he works at The Thirst Trap. I think he’s the new blood Abby mentioned.”

  Cassidy breaks into hysterical laughter. “Oh my god, that’s perfect. The universe wants you to do this, Mel. There are too many coincidences for you not to give in and get railed here.”

  “The universe wants this forty-year-old divorcee to fuck a twenty-five-year-old? Albeit a tattooed, motorbike riding one. But really? That’s how you think you’re going to convince me?”

  “Oh,” she gasps, “it all makes sense now.”

  “What does?”

  “Abby texted me earlier to say she thinks the new blood would be perfect for you. Apparently, she saw him with his shirt off and gave the Abby seal of approval.”

  “What?” Fury bubbles up from my feet. “Did they sleep together? Why did she see him naked?”

  “Not fully naked, Mel, just his shirt off. I dunno why. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t sleep with him. I would have got more details from her if she had. Wait a minute… you’re jealous?”

  “Fuck you. No, I’m not.”

  She gives a throaty laugh. “Oh, honey, you’re so jealous right now. You need to get down to the pub and claim your man. Want me to meet you there?”

  I sigh. “I can’t do that. He distracted me so much earlier that I didn’t finish this contract review, so I need to get it done tonight. There’s another meeting in the morning.”

  “Dammit.” Her tone is distinctly dissatisfied.

  “Maybe this is a sign from the universe that it shouldn’t happen.”

  “Pah. No, it’s not. We just need to figure out the logistics. Maybe you should hire a hotel room so you can be as loud as you like without Zack overhearing?”

  “Cassidy, stop. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” God, but I wish it would.

  “Hmmm, we’ll see.”

  I need to throw her off the scent, so I ask how Tom’s doing. She surprisingly takes the bait and tells me about the day they’ve had together, but as the conversation comes to a close, I’m not convinced I threw her off completely, when she says, “There’s a live singer at the bar on Friday. He’s supposed to be amazing. Let’s go see him and maybe you’ll get to watch your guy at work while we’re there.”

  I don’t even want to say no. I don’t know if Alex will be working then, but I’m curious to see him in the work setting. I want to see him outside of this house, in a different environment. I can kid myself that it’s because it might break the spell. But I think I’m just becoming obsessed. And if he’s not there, then maybe I’ll still be able to blow off some steam and have a good night.

  “That actually sounds good. I’m in the mood for a dance.”

  “It’s a date,” she cries excitedly. “I’ll see you then.”

  We hang up and I get back to my contract review, determined to get it done this time.

  Friday is here.

  I’ve managed to avoid Alex up until now. I didn’t hear him come in from his late shift after our kiss, and my early meeting the next day meant I was out of the house before he emerged for breakfast. He wasn’t home for dinner last night, and I was scared to arouse suspicion by asking Zack where he was.

  I pull up at home after all day in the office and let out a sigh of relief when I don’t see his bike here. Another lucky escape.

  Shit, what if he’s avoiding me? My shoulders sag. Perhaps he regrets the kiss and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Maybe I shouldn’t go to the bar tonight. If he’s working, he might think I’m stalking him.

  But Cassidy was so excited when I agreed, and he might not even be there tonight, anyway. If he’s there, I’ll just make sure to stay well clear. He’ll be busy. It will be fine, I try to convince myself.