Pinborough sarah the rec.., p.10
Pinborough Sarah The Reckoning,
p.10
The judge didn’t move, and his eyes didn’t meet the younger man’s, but when he spoke he seemed to be addressing him, addressing someone. His tongue darted out and moistened the thin lips of his decaying face. ?I can’t eat at home you see. Nothing’s safe there. They get in everything, everything! Everywhere I look. If I eat at home, they’ll get in me. In me, imagine that.? He paused and scratched at his ear. When he pulled his finger out, it was pink with blood, and he examined it momentarily,
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seeming pleased with the results. ?I can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Have to stay vigilant. Have to stay alert. I won’t let them win. I won’t!?He turned away and reached for a new piece of fruit.
Jason firmly held his arm back, careful not to hurt him, but wanting to keep his attention. ?Won’t let who win? Who’s bothering you??
The old man twitched. ?Ants, of course. Ants everywhere.?He giggled as though it should have been obvious.
Jason knew it was going to take more than ant powder to solve the judge’s problems, but he figured it would be a good way to get in the house with a social worker. ?Maybe I can help. I could come around with a friend and some ant powder, and give the house a good going over to get rid of them. I could come this afternoon if you like.?
The old man nodded to himself, his eyes drifting off. ?Ant powder. Yes, yes, that’s what I need, ant powder.? His voice drifted off to a mutter, and Jason thought he was losing him again. He wished Mary would stop gawking and ring social services. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a large black shadow near the register, and he knew Bob had emerged to watch the show. He brought his focus back. He could ring social services later himself.
?Do you know where they’re coming from, these ants? Maybe if we can find their nest, we can get rid of them completely. It shouldn’t be hard. Nothing to worry about.?
Judge Matthews started to shake as he laughed, a hard, cold, mad sound. Snot escaped his nose, and he didn’t wipe it away. This time his eyes met Jason’s as he lowered his voice to a whisper and drew in closer. Jason tried to ignore the stench, to not let his repulsion show on his face. ?Oh yes, I know where they’re coming from. Oh yes, I know. I told Daisy, but she didn’t believe me, oh no, I could see it on her face. She thought I was mad.?His words were clipped, hurried. ?I used to be a judge, you know. I can tell a lot about people from their faces. I can see who you are in your face.?He stopped and drew a
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sharp breath, as the shock of recognition widened his eyes. ?You!?
Jason frowned, confused. ?You know me, Judge Matthews. Jason. Jason Milburn. I’ve known you since I was a kid.?Always in trouble, he almost added.
The judge nodded, hatred glowing in his twisted face. ?Yesss,?he hissed. ?I know you, you and your friends. You and that writer and the two little sluts. I remember, you see. I remember everything. So many secrets, haven’t you? So much guilt. So much dirty guilt eating at you. So much blame.?
Jason could hear his heart in his ears, trying to pound away the sounds of the man’s accusing words. It’s just mad ramblings, just the insane talk of an old man. He’d say the same to anyone. He knows everyone. It doesn’t mean a thing. He felt his stomach lurch as the man gripped his arm tight and pulled him in closer. Secrets. Guilt. Blame.
?So why are they coming for me? Why are those little black monsters coming all the way from there, just for me? Can you tell me? You and your friends??
Jason felt liquid on his face as the judge spat the words out at him and this time he cringed with the sensation. He no longer wanted to help. He was getting more than he bargained for. Now all he wanted was to get the fuck away from this ranting madman, and he wanted it more than anything in the whole world. ?Where are they coming from??he whispered, trying to pull his arm away, not liking the feel of that cool, leathery skin against his.
A slow, sly smile crept across Ernest Matthew’s face. ?Do you really want an answer, young man? Do you need one? Can’t you feel it? I bet fat CaroleAnne could. Yes, I believe that under all that blubber her deadened soul could feel it.?He paused and Jason felt those fevered eyes crawling all over his face. ?Syracousse. They’re coming from Syracousse.?
Jason felt his skin go numb as the words echoed in his
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head. Syracousse. They’re coming from Syracousse. No, that couldn’t be. That just couldn’t be. His head was swimming and he badly needed to sit down. Sit down before he fell down.
He realized after a moment that the pressure on his arm had gone. The judge had let go. He stared at the old man, his whole body shaking. ?What do you mean they’re coming from there? Tell me what you mean, you crazy bastard!? His voice was loud and harsh, too loud, but he didn’t care what Mary and Bob made of it, not caring about anything, resisting the urge to grab the man in front of him and rattle what was left of his pathetic life right out of him. ?What do you mean??
The judge’s eyes had glazed over, and he was muttering to himself again as he wandered away, Jason forgotten as if he weren’t even there. ?Ant powder. That’s what I need. Ant powder.? He shuffled, lost once again in his strange world, out of the shop and across the road to O’Neale’s without even glancing for oncoming traffic. Jason stared at the retreating figure, wishing that he’d just stayed out back and let Bob beat the living shit out of him. A cool sweat had formed on his face and he felt as if his insides were trembling. Secrets. Guilt. Blame. Syracousse.
?What did he say to you? You’re as white as a sheet.?
Jason hadn’t noticed Mary approaching him, and he jumped. ?What??
Mary’s plump face searched his. ?I said you’re as white as a sheet. Are you okay??
Jason nodded, and tried to control his breathing, steadying himself, just the rantings of a sad old man. That’s all it was. He doesn’t know anything. He can’t know anything. He wasn’t there.
?Yeah, sorry. I guess it just shook me up seeing the old boy like that. Never expected it of him.?
Mary nodded. ?He’d gone downhill quick, too. He was in last week, and he seemed fine. But then you never can tell, can you??
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?No,?Jason whispered, still staring out at the street, staring but not seeing, his mind being dragged to a past he’d long ago fought to forget. ?No you never can, can you??
Mary touched his arm. ?Tell you what, you go and have a cup of tea. It’s still your lunch break anyway. I’ll send Bob down to the health center. See if he can get someone to go give Mr. Matthews a visit.? Her voice was gentle, and for a moment Jason thought the kindness in it would make him cry. He squeezed his eyes shut and kissed her on the forehead.
?Thanks. You’re an angel.?
The stout woman blushed slightly. ?Get on with you, you’ll have people talking! You know what this town’s like. Doesn’t take much to get a rumor started.? She ushered him maternally past Bob and back toward the side door. Bob started to follow, but she stopped him with a glare. ?Not you. I need you to go down to the doctor’s.?
Jason didn’t wait for the end of the conversation, but headed gratefully into the gloomy solitude of the corridor and the cool of the warehouse. With shaking hands, he pulled his cigarettes from his jacket pocket, and went outside, where, despite his nausea, he lit one and inhaled hard.
The nicotine felt good as it flooded his system, and he slid down the rough bricks until he was crouching, his knees tight against his chest, his back supported by the wall behind him. Just a crazy old man, he told himself. Just a crazy old man who didn’t know what he was saying. It sounded good in his head, but hard as he tried, he didn’t believe himself. He didn’t believe himself one little bit as he rested his tired head against the cement and shut his eyes and remembered. Remembered the beginning. When three became four.
?You’ll really like her. And her house is just too cool, so get a move on! I don’t want to be late.? CaroleAnne said, her hands on her small hips as she turned to glare at the two of them, her forehead wrinkling under her bangs as she squinted in the late-April sun.
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?We’re coming, we’re coming. Keep your hair on.? Rob looked at Jason and the two exchanged a conspiratorial look. Sometimes Carrie could be such a girl, and today was one of those occasions. Jason looked down at his tatty sneakers, the cloth more gray than white and stretched where his toes were getting too big for them, and watched them scuffling along next to Rob’s bigger, cleaner, newer shoes.
Carrie had insisted they dress up in their best jeans and t-shirts to officially meet her new friend, but unlike Rob, he only had jeans. Old, worn-out and in need of replacing. He’d seen the embarrassed look on Robster’s face when they’d picked him up in his smart new Wranglers and stain-free shirt. It was a look that kicked its owner. A look that said, I should have thought. If Rob could have gone upstairs and changed back into his scruffy clothes without making it obvious, then he would have.
Jason sighed, blowing his hair out of his face. Life was shit when you were poor. It didn’t help that this Gina girl seemed pretty loaded, either. A big house by the river all on its own and a dad who worked in London like Rob’s did. Yeah, he could just imagine what she was going to make of him. But then, she wanted to be friends with Carrie, and Carrie lived on the estate just like he did. Still, he wasn’t looking forward to the pitying sideways looks, however well-intentioned, that was for sure.
He kicked a stone from the gravel track as they turned away from the towpath. ?I don’t see why we have to meet this girl. I bet she’s really wet and going to want to play with dolls or something.?
Rob laughed, and Jason looked up to the taller, broader boy whose smile was always wide and open, and felt a twinge of envy. Everything always seemed so easy for Rob. Great family, great house, great shitting life for that matter. How come he got to be the tallest, too? Sometimes as much as he loved Rob, it was hard not to hate him. But those moments always passed in a blink of an eye, and
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then they were just best buddies again. Jase and the Robster. Sounded like a good name for a film. A film about a pair of outlawed cowboys, always on the run.
?I wasn’t being funny. Why do we need to hang around with a girl??
Rob shrugged. ?Carrie’s a girl.?
?Yeah, but Carrie’s different. She’s cool. Most of the time I don’t even notice she’s a girl.?That wasn’t exactly true. Over the past year or so, he’d begun to think about Carrie being a girl more and more. It was difficult not to, not now that she was beginning to look like one. Sometimes, he’d be looking at her and she’d catch his eye and smile and he’d feel himself tingling all over. He ignored it, though. He didn’t want them to grow up. He didn’t want them to change. He wanted them to be best friends forever. And now there was this Gina from Carrie’s library club, and it felt like change to him. He glowered at his canvas shoes. ?I don’t see why Carrie needs this new friend anyway. She’s got us. We don’t need anyone else.?
Rob elbowed him in the ribs, grinning. ?Now you sound like a whining girl. You know what Carrie’s like. She’s probably going through one of those weird spells she has when she wants to be all feminine. You know, just like the nail polish.?
Jason started to smile. Yeah, the nail polish. How could he forget? For a whole month she’d insisted on wearing that awful pink stuff; a cheap bottle off the market, just ‘cos she’d seen some woman wearing something like it in a film. The problem was, she wasn’t any good at putting it on and it was always all over her fingers. And she never let it dry properly so whatever she’d managed to get on her nails was always smudged into clumps.
A cool breeze brushed by them, temporarily invading the early summer warmth, and he stuffed his hands into the baggy pockets of his jeans. ?You reckon??
Rob nodded as they caught up to Carrie, who was waiting by the front gates. ?Yup. By this time next week this
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Gina girl will be forgotten. So let’s just grin and bear it, okay??
Jason nodded and then took a deep breath as he took in the house. ?Wow,?he breathed. ?That’s beautiful.? The house looked like something out of a book or magazine, its outside painted pale yellow with perfect white window frames, and plants and flowers with a thousand colors lining the short driveway up to the front door.
Carrie slid her arm through his, and her eyes were shining. ?Wait ‘til you see the inside and the back garden. Come on, let’s go ‘round to the side gate. Gina said she’d be in the garden.?
The two boys followed her as she led the way, and Jason noticed that Rob’s face had grown quiet. Maybe he didn’t like the fact that Carrie’s new friend was better off than he was. He shook the thought away. Nah. Robster was better than that. Carrie brought them to a halt by a large tree, behind which was a small metal gate built into the wall. She swung it open and led the way. Jason felt butterflies starting up in his stomach. He hated meeting new people, and now that he was here, now that he’d seen the house, he felt like he was about to meet the shitting queen.
His feet led him behind the others, past the large pond that was more like a small lake, fish busy making their homes in it, their darting fins covering the water with ripples, and around to the garden.
A rug was laid out on the lawn and a girl in a pale blue summer dress lay on it, belly down, reading a book, her long chestnut hair held back by a yellow ribbon, the same color as the house.
?Gina!?Carrie’s shout was loud, and the girl looked up, shocked for a second, and then she smiled. Watching as she stood up and brushed herself down, Jason felt his insides go all funny, the way they did sometimes with Carrie. How come he’d never noticed this girl at school?
Finally, they came to a stop in front of her. Carrie was almost bouncing with pleasure. ?Gina, this is Rob and
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Jason, the boys I was telling you about. Guys, this is Gina.?
?Pleased to meet you.?The girl held her hand out and Rob blushed and muttered something as he shook it. Jason wondered if his insides were going weird as well. Probably, by the looks of it. When it was his turn, he took her tiny hand, enjoyed feeling her soft skin, and smiled. Shaking hands was one of those things he’d normally laugh at; it was one of those things posh grownups like Rob’s parents did, but with Gina it didn’t seem weird at all. Her face was even prettier close up, her eyes a glorious blue, and her tiny nose made Carrie’s look like a clumsy afterthought.
?Your house is great.?How come he found the words so clumsy? What was the matter with his mouth? Gina didn’t seem to notice, and she smiled, showing two rows of perfect tiny white teeth.
?Thanks. My grandfather built it.?Jason was trying to think of something to say next when they were interrupted by a woman’s voice.
?Gina!?Standing at the back door was a slim blond woman dressed in cream, with high-heeled shoes on. She was the most glamorous woman Jason thought he’d ever seen outside of a film. His mum wore stilettos sometimes, awful cheap white things, but she never looked like this. ?I’ve made some lemonade! Why don’t you and your friends come in and get some? You can take it outside with you. There’s biscuits, too.?
The woman disappeared inside, and as the four children stepped through the back door, Jason could smell the lingering scent of vanilla. He stared at the jug on the side. ?Your mum makes lemonade??He couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice. ?Not even Rob’s mum does that.?Rob sent him a scowl, and Jason shrugged in apology.
Gina was opening a cupboard and pulling out some tall tumblers, her bare feet balancing on tiptoes. She was shorter than Jason, and he liked that. Carrie was just about as tall as he was these days. Gina smiled over her shoulder. ?She likes cooking. My parents do a lot of entertaining.?
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Rob stepped out in front of Jason. ?Do you want me to get those down? I can probably reach them easiest.?Jason resisted the urge to dig his friend in the ribs. He didn’t need any reminding that he was never going to be the first choice for a basketball team.
Gina shook her head. ?I can manage. I don’t know why they’re on the top shelf; they’re normally kept on the bottom. Mum must have been tidying out the cupboards again.? As she spoke, one of the glasses slipped through her fingers, smashing into a thousand tiny shards on the floor. The shock sent her off balance and she stepped backward.
The next moment seemed to play in slow motion in Jason’s head. The glass tumbling to the floor, exploding, covering the ground around Gina with its splintered form; and then her foot, the smooth bare sole of her small foot stepping backward as she wobbled, and he thought, She’s going to land right on all that glass; she’s going to cut her foot to ribbons. And he wondered whether there was time to reach forward and grab her, but everything was going too shitting fast, and then he felt his heart stop beating for a second as IT HAPPENED.
The glass shot away from under her foot. Every last tiny piece. It moved away from under her approaching skin; just like that experiment they did at school with two magnets, it moved as if it were repelled by something. But it wasn’t just the glass she was about to cut herself on. In that split second all the glass on the floor swept itself into a neat pile by the cooker away from them all. Just like that. One minute it was everywhere, and then it was sucked away.
Gina’s foot came down on the harmless tiles. No one looked at her. They were all staring at the floor. There was a moment’s silence before Carrie spoke. ?Did anyone else see that, or am I going crazy??
?I think we’re all going crazy.?That was Rob, his voice barely audible.
There was the sound of ice cubes tinkling in a glass, and Jason looked up to see Gina pouring out the
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lemonade. ?I seem to do that kind of thing quite a lot. Don’t worry about it.?She smiled at them, something close to pride in her face.












