Rob chewed his bottom lip, and Jack waited patiently for the man to find the words he was mulling over. He’d learned over the years never to push. If you pressed people too hard for an answer, they’d clam up. Let them talk in their own time. In their own words. Eventually their story would come out, whether now or in fifty years’ time, it didn’t really matter. You couldn’t fight the truth, no matter how hard you tried. He was learning that lesson fast.

  Rob sighed and ran one hand through his short hair. ?When we were kids, we used to play up there. Me, Jase and Carrie.? The memory of his friends seemed to stab at the skin on his face, but he carried on, his voice stilted as if uncertain of how to continue. ?Only for one summer. But it seemed to last a lifetime, that summer. Carrie had made friends with Gina Grace.?He laughed a little, lost in time. ?I guess she was getting to that age when she wanted to have girlfriends as well as us. Anyway, things happened during those months that drew us together and then blew us apart.?

  Jack’s eyes narrowed. ?What kind of things??

  Rob shook his head. ?You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Strange things. Gina things, we called them. I suppose, over the years, I convinced myself that they never happened at all. But now, after all this, I don’t think I can

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  hide from it anymore, and without Jason, I don’t think I know what to do about it.?He smiled bitterly up at Jack. ?I sound crazy, don’t I? Are you sure you want me around Kelly??

  Jack didn’t smile back. Strange things. Gina things. Why had Rob called them Gina things? Gina didn’t have anything to do with any of it. She couldn’t have. Because strange things happened before Gina, he was sure of it, even if it was such a long time ago. He shook his head at Rob. ?I don’t think you’re crazy. I don’t think you’re crazy at all.?

  The younger man was staring at him so intently, Jack was suddenly afraid of taking this conversation further, afraid of what he might say and what he might hear. He changed tack. ?I know about crazy. I went up to Syracousse that day. I answered Camilla Grace’s call at the station.?He hated the way the words came out so clinically. So professionally. Of course you answered. It came through on your direct line. She wasn’t calling the police, she was calling Jack Hollingsworth. She was calling for help.

  ?I was the one who found Philip Grace in the kitchen.?

  Rob had frozen, his glass half way to his lips. ?That was you? You were the policeman who came??

  Jack nodded. ?That was me. A long time ago.?

  Silence fell between them again, but this time there was an edge to it, and Rob finished his drink and stood up. ?Thanks for the brandy, Jack. I’ll see you in the morning.?He paused in the doorway. ?Maybe you should try and get some sleep yourself.?

  ?Yes, maybe I will. I think I’ll have a nightcap first, though.?He raised a hand to say goodnight and Rob pulled the door to behind him.

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  Rob got undressed in the dark and slid into the double bed next to Kelly. The pill must have sent her off to sleep, but her body was sweating and she tossed and turned, murmuring to herself, lost in a dreaming search for her baby. Putting one arm gently over her, Rob stroked her damp hair. Where was she? Still up at Syracousse hunting through those abandoned rooms?

  Although he’d come up to bed, he wasn’t tired. Exhausted and aching, yes. But not tired. His mind was still racing, and always, always, flashing up behind his eyes like a Screensaver on a computer, there was the image of Jason hooked up to all those machines, his face barely visible behind the ventilating equipment strapped to him. Was the past ever going to let them go?

  The old man’s words were still ringing in his ears. I know about crazy. I went up to Syracousse that day. So many doors opening into the past, and so many truths when you get there. Jack Hollingsworth had been there. Rob had been surprised for a second, and then it all made

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  a weird kind of sense as if strands of thread were being carefully woven back together.

  It was another refracted ray of someone’s life slipping past the shadows of his own. Another door opened at a different angle creating a different view of the same truth. Jack Hollingsworth’s truth was that he’d found Philip Grace bleeding his life away on the kitchen floor that hot afternoon, Gina probably still crying beside him. But what if he’d come five or ten minutes earlier? What would his truth have been then? His truth and theirs would have collided, and there’d have been one less secret to carry through the years.

  Stroking Kelly’s hair had calmed her a bit, her movements less frantic. His eyes still wide open, Rob curled in behind her, wanting the comfort of her warmth as he strolled through the past. Yes, there’d have been one less secret for all of them to carry because Jack Hollingsworth didn’t find Philip Grace first. They did. The four of them.

  Rob didn’t know what he was doing, coming up the gravel track that afternoon. He didn’t know why he’d agreed to Carrie’s meeting at his house. He didn’t want to hear about Gina, didn’t want to see her, but he’d known the minute they’d all met up that they’d end up back here. His eyes burned into Jason’s back as his ex-best friend, his now biggest betrayer, strode along ahead of him, arms and hands still lightly bandaged even though it had been two long weeks since … well, since Teacher. Teacher and Jason’s talk at school. Rob’s stomach twisted with the memory. Maybe that’s why he’d agreed to Carrie’s incessant demands for a powwow, not just to shut her up, but to see Jason. To see if he was sorry.

  He blew his bangs out of his face, and out of the corner of his angry eye saw Carrie waiting for them up by the tree. He wasn’t stupid. He knew she’d gone on ahead to leave him and Jase together. What did she think they

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  were going to do, talk or something? Fat chance. He was never ever going to forgive Jase, even if he were sorry and there was no sign of that. Jase hadn’t even looked at him when he and Carrie had turned up at Rob’s mum’s house. Yeah, Jase looked tired and had those big dark rings under his eyes, just like Mum had since the stuff with Dad, but he sure as shit didn’t look sorry. He hadn’t even really spoken, just nodding and grunting in agreement when Carrie said they should go up and see Gina. See what she had to say.

  When would Carrie see that talking was worth shit? Whatever Gina had to say it wouldn’t bring Teacher back. It wouldn’t turn the clock back to the beginning of the summer when everything was fine, and he could believe that whatever was wrong in the world, a hot summer’s day could put it right. Jason wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been sleeping. If he thought he was the only one who had nightmares about Teach, then he was more of a selfish shit than Rob thought. Shit. It was such a good word. It really summed up the way the world made him feel and the way he felt about the world. At least he knew that he didn’t have long to go here. He was off to boarding school and for the first time in his life September couldn’t come soon enough. He stared at the strangers ahead of him who used to be friends. Soon enough he’d be away from them, from all this and then maybe the nightmares of fire and burning fur would stop. Yeah, boarding school was his lifeline, his secret. And he wasn’t sharing it with anyone. It was his. It was private.

  He reached the shade of the heavy branches and joined the other two. Carrie glanced from one boy to the other with total despair and Rob slid his eyes away.

  ?Well, let’s go see what she wants to say. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to.?Jason’s voice was hollow and for a moment Rob almost felt for him. Almost.

  Carrie pushed the gate open and once again, for the last time that summer, they crossed the threshold of

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  Syracousse. Walking past the pond, Rob pointed out Gina on the old swing in the far corner, and the three of them headed toward her. As she stood up to meet them, he saw how the past two weeks had taken their toll on her, too. Her hair had lost its sheen and her slim frame was now thin, her face gaunt. The beauty was still there, but there was nothing glowing anymore. She picked at her fingers, ripping the skin from beside her chewed-down nails.

  ?It wasn’t me. I didn’t do that to Teacher. I wouldn’t do something like that. You have to believe me.?Her voice was barely a whisper, and she looked close to tears.

  Awkward and uncomfortable, Rob took the swing and pushed the empty seat backwards and forwards, listening to its familiar creak. He didn’t know what to think. Maybe Gina didn’t do it. Or maybe she just thought she didn’t do it. Jason was staring at her with hate, and something inside Rob was pleased he was looking at her like that and not at him. But then he remembered that he didn’t care. He and Jase were finished. There was no going back.

  Gina was crying properly now, the blotchy red beneath her eyes the only color on her cheeks. ?I promise. I wouldn’t do something like that. I couldn’t. I don’t know how it happened, but it wasn’t me. It couldn’t have been me. Please believe me.?

  Carrie took a tentative step forward and turned to face the others from Gina’s side. ?I believe her. No one would do something like that. Not to Teacher. Not to anyone. Look at her. She’s as upset about this as we are.?

  The open goodness in Carrie’s face would have made Rob smile in any other situation. Carrie always believed the best of everyone. Jason looked at Carrie, the hate in his face overwhelmed by tiredness, and shrugged. ?I don’t really care anymore. Nothing can bring Teacher back. Nothing.?

  Rob said nothing, his brain aching from thinking, and

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  just pushed the swing again and again. The back door was open and the sound of shouting and recrimination invaded their silence. Gina flinched.

  ?They always argue now. Ever since you all left. They think I can’t hear them from my bedroom.?

  For a moment, the purpose of the visit was forgotten. Rob could almost see Carrie’s vision of the perfect family crumbling. That’s how she saw the Graces. The same way Jase used to see the Blacks. Perfect. When would she learn that nothing was perfect?

  Carrie’s voice was incredulous. ?What are they arguing about??

  ?Dad’s business isn’t working. Hasn’t been for a while apparently, he just didn’t tell us. He wants to sell the house, move somewhere smaller and use the rest of the money to pay off some of his debts.?

  She was speaking in barely a whisper, and Rob noticed that even Jase was fascinated. If he were honest, he was fascinated himself. The mask of the summer was crumbling further.

  ?Why don’t they? Sell the house I mean, if it’ll solve your problems.?Carrie made it sound so matter of fact, but then, Rob thought, a little ashamed of himself, Carrie lived on Gallows Hill. Nobody would care if they had to move out of there.

  Gina was staring at the back door. ?Mum won’t let him. She loves this house. She’s lived here all her life. She says it’s her house, not his.?

  Philip Grace’s hard, accusing words filled the garden with their sound, and Gina’s face clouded over. ?He never shuts up. Never. I wish he’d just die.? She almost spat the last words out, and Rob wondered just what had been going on here since the awful day that Teacher had died.

  A couple of seconds later and the shouting stopped abruptly. Carrie raised an eyebrow. ?Maybe they heard you.?

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  Gina shook her head. ?More likely he’s just stormed out again. That’s what he does. Comes in, shouts and then leaves.?

  The sun was beating down aggressively and a few moments later when Gina suggested a drink, none of them said no, although Jason swore he was leaving straight after.

  Rob was the last one into the shade of the kitchen, and Gina was already staring at the body on the floor, the body bleeding on the floor, her breath coming in sharp, fast sounds. Out of the corner of his eye, Rob could see the orange of the pile of chopped carrots, the orange that seemed to clash so badly with the red that was covering the tiles beneath them. Jason was staring into the surprised eyes of Philip Grace, his young body visibly trembling. ?Jesus shit, Gina, what did you do? What did you do??

  For a brief moment, Gina looked up at Jason in horror. ?No,?she whispered, ?No, no.?Then her voice began to rise until she was screaming the word, her hands reaching up and pulling at her long, dark hair, her long hair that had lost it’s luster, pulling out clumps as she tore at it. ?NO NO NO NO NO NO NO…?

  Unable to take any more, Rob reached forward and grabbed Carrie and Jason, tugging them out of the kitchen. Without pausing to speak, the three of them ran through the garden, fighting for first place out of the gate, not stopping then but running all the way down the lane as fast as they could go. Rob’s ankle twisted on the gravel, the pain shooting up his leg, but still he pushed himself forward, no amount of agony enough to make him rest this close to that awful place. His arms pumped as if trying to move through hot honey, and he wanted to run and run forever. To never have to stop. To never have to think. But once he’d reached the wall of the house that led from Ousebank Way down to the river, his blood vessels felt like they were exploding all over his body, and his legs were like jelly above his throbbing foot.

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  Sliding down the rough brick, Rob sat on the cool ground, drops of sweat running down his face, and shut his eyes, waiting until the pounding feet of Carrie and Jason behind him fell silent, before he opened them again.

  Jason doubled over, barely able to breathe. ?Holy shit. Holy, holy shit She did it, just like she did it to Teacher.?He glanced up from his crouched position, eyes full of disgust. ?Why did you take us there again, Carrie? Why? How fucking dumb are you??Pulling himself upright, the stitch that was obviously in his side making him stand funny, he spat at the ground and then started wandering slowly away up the narrow lane toward the other houses, his shoulders hunched and tired, a small patch of sweat showing through his t-shirt. Rob watched him go, no energy or compulsion to call him back.

  Carrie was crying, but he ignored that too, pulling his knees up and lowering his head into his forearms. When he raised his face again, she had gone, vanished quietly as if she’d never been there.

  His breath still raw in his lungs, he wondered momentarily where there was left to go. Home? What home? What did it mean, that word? At his, his mother would be hunched over the phone, whispering in a guilty voice to some doctor or nurse up at that home or hospital or wherever they’d taken his dad, whispering as if the neighbors could hear the family shame through the walls. At Gina’s home, home no more, she was probably still screaming over Philip Grace’s bleeding pale body, waiting for someone or something to take it back, what she did. Jason would be wandering back to his careless mother with his bandaged arms and empty eyes, and Carrie, poor crying Carrie, bereft without her friends, her hope, now full of the fear that came with knowledge. Knowledge that nothing was safe, and that nothing would ever be the same again.

  No more friends, Rob thought, his sweat now cold

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  against his skin. No more friends like this. He didn’t have it in him. If he could stay sane till boarding school, then everything would be okay. It would be a new start away from Streatford. A new start.

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  Part III

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  The walls are aching from the inside out, frustrated by the child’s tears. It isn’t working; it isn’t working at all, not like the other little girl, the only little girl. Everything is black now, black and damp, the air rancid as the anger takes over, the inner bricks oozing slime as the constant crying whine fuels the rage.

  Why can’t this one love? Doesn’t she understand that they can be together forever, never alone? Doesn’t she understand how safe it is here, how nothing can ever harm her as long as she only behaves? Why can’t she understand and be grateful, instead of this reluctance and resistance? Why can’t she just be happy?

  The incomprehension seethes, pulling it into itself. There is only one who would truly understand. It knows that now. It has forgotten so much during the too many years of waiting, but now it knows she cannot be replaced so easily. She was special. She is special. Together they belong.

  There had been others it had loved all those seasons ago, but they had betrayed it. All of them. They wanted it

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  destroyed. They wanted it to be alone forever. They had taken her away and now she was lost. Lost and alone. The strangers had told it that. They had made it understand.

  Oh, how it had ached, hearing those words after all the patient empty days with only echoes for company, but it had taken its revenge. It had made the strangers pay. It had infused them with its anger; it had suffocated them with its pain. And it would deal with the rest until she came back. Until they made her come back.

  The constant sobbing makes it wail, drowning the smaller human sounds with waves of its own discordant emotion until the child screams and falls silent. There is a victory in the peace. The girl will learn to behave. She will learn to be grateful, to understand. The fear will teach her. The fear and the darkness. It will be for the best. She will learn to do as she’s told like a good little girl. She will behave while she is under this roof. It settles back, feeling the old earth secure around its foundations and relaxes. Maybe in a little while it will let in some light. Maybe. But not yet.

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  Rob could feel the nervous energy emanating from Kelly as they walked down the whispering corridors of the hospital in search of Jason’s room. She had awoken almost as exhausted as she’d been before they went to bed, but still she’d insisted on coming. And Rob had to agree with her; what else was she to do? There was no sign of Tabby at the house and now the police were stretching their search farther, into the fields and back into the village. If she stayed at home, she’d go crazy with worry. He gave her hand a squeeze and she gripped hard in reply.