It was after a Sunday afternoon walk down by the river, when Carrie had to leave early to help her mum with something or other, that he’d dried Teacher off and then gone into the kitchen to get himself and the dog a drink, and seen Rob kissing Gina through the kitchen window. Staring at them, the tap still running, his heart had twisted in his chest. What did Rob want? Everything? You didn’t have to be blind to see that Carrie had a crush on him, which didn’t bother Jason too much anymore, but he’d told Rob what he felt about Gina, and Rob had promised, promised, that he didn’t feel the same.

  Standing there, he felt alone, truly alone for the first time in his life. Robster had broken his promise, and

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  something in their friendship snapped inside him. It couldn’t be relied on anymore. It couldn’t be trusted. He still loved Rob, and the next week when they made their awful discovery in the attic, Jason’s heart would break for his friend; but the seeds of destruction were sown that afternoon. Feeling a wet nose on his hand, he’d looked down at Teacher, and with eyes brimming with tears, realized that he and the dog had something in common. Neither of them were really wanted. Rubbing the head under his fingers, he took comfort in the fact that at least they had each other. At least they had that.

  Looking back through the wasted years, Jason wondered whether Gina had been jealous of Teacher, jealous of the way they all fussed over him and loved him, and jealous of how he was the focus of Jason’s visits now and not her. Not even the weird things she did held the allure for him that the dog did. Those he was used to, the novelty gone. Yeah, maybe she was jealous. Jealous and spiteful. He sure as hell never saw Rob and Gina kissing again after that afternoon. Well, jealous or not, it didn’t justify what happened. Nothing could justify what happened.

  It was a cool afternoon when the magic turned sour. They’d been out in the garden for an hour or so, the girls messing around on the swing talking girl stuff like they did sometimes while Rob and he tried to catch frogs by the huge pond, Teacher sticking his huge nose in their faces and in the jam jars, trying to figure out what they were doing, eager to be part of it. It was four weeks since the kiss and three weeks since the madness in the attic, and the atmosphere between the two boys was quiet and reflective.

  It would be another four long days before Jason drove the final nail into the coffin of their friendship, his bandaged arms behind his back, standing at the front of the classroom not giving a shit about anything anymore, except trying to make someone else hurt as much as he did, as if that might somehow lessen the isolating pain that

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  was ripping his insides apart. By then the world would have changed, but all that was in the future. At that moment, standing side, by side next to the pond, there was just an awkwardness they didn’t know how to deal with. Their friendship had shifted slightly, and neither of them knew how to handle it.

  Silently unscrewing the lid of his jar and releasing the small frog that had been jumping at the transparent walls, Jason watched Rob’s impassive face from behind his scruffy bangs. The overcast sky seemed to be reflected in the tanned boy’s expression, and Jason wondered what was going on in his mind as he sifted through the mud searching for life. The more he studied his friend, the more it seemed that he was looking at a stranger, the features familiar but no longer recognizable. The ease that he had always felt in Rob’s company was gone, and he didn’t know how to get it back. He didn’t even know whether he wanted to get it back.

  The small frog bounded away, chirruping with joy, and Jason followed its progress with his eyes, one hand locked in Teacher’s fur as the dog panted beside him. Why did life have to be so complicated? He was feeling things he didn’t like, had been for weeks and he hated himself for the new darkness he’d discovered growing inside him, wishing it could just stop, stop right here and now, but it wouldn’t. It couldn’t. And it had all started with that kiss. That stupid kiss.

  He picked up a pebble and skimmed it across the water. He shouldn’t resent Rob for that, not anymore, not with everything that had happened since, but the memory of it had somehow soured the sympathy he felt for his friend. That small black area inside him that he so desperately wanted to squash was pleased that things were far from rosy in the perfect life of Robert Black. That part of him was laughing hard. Maybe now Rob would have an idea of what it was like for the rest of them. Maybe now he’d

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  realize that for most people life was pretty shit. Maybe now he’d realize that he wasn’t so fucking special after all.

  Teacher licked his face, and Jason locked his arm around the dog’s body. Even here at Syracousse with Teach, he couldn’t shake off the heaviness of his soul. His feelings were too mixed up for that. He was angry at Rob too, angry at him for unwillingly unsettling the stability of the world. If shit like that could happen in his life, then what hope was there for the rest of them? Rob was the golden boy, everybody’s favorite guy; crap like this wasn’t supposed to happen in his world. His world was what everyone else was supposed to dream about. The afternoon in the attic had changed all that. Suddenly, nothing was certain anymore, and that frightened him. He shivered in the cool breeze.

  Carrie was waving at them from the other side of the garden by the swing. ?We’re going inside! It’s too cold out here.?

  Jason nodded back and stood up, pleased with the suggestion. The girls were right, the air was too thin to really enjoy being outside, and maybe the change of situation would help lift his mood.

  ?You coming in??He touched Rob’s shoulder, the other boy still crouched by the water.

  Rob looked up and smiled. ?Yeah, my feet are frozen to shit.? He held his hand out for Jason to help pull him up the bank, and with the physical contact it seemed that for a moment the events of the past month were forgotten, the two boys grinning together as they collected their motley equipment and, followed by Teacher, headed inside.

  Jason hadn’t realized just how chilly it had been outside until they were all gathered in the warmth of the Graces’ kitchen. Camilla had just finished peeling and chopping a pile of potatoes, and a large pan of water was boiling on the stove, the steam hovering above like mist in the mountains. She smiled cheerfully at them as Teacher beat her legs with his wagging tail.

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  ?Look at you lot! You’ve got goose bumps. I can’t believe you went out there without any sweaters on.?She glanced through the window at the trees that swayed in the strong wind. ?It seems like the summer’s abandoned us for today, I’m afraid. It looks like October out there.?Drying her hands on a tea towel, she headed toward the door to the hallway. ?I’ll go and light a fire in the lounge, so you can warm up in there. Get yourselves some drinks and I’ll be back in a minute.?

  Carrie plugged in the kettle and opened the cupboard above it. ?Well, I don’t know about you lot, but I really fancy a hot chocolate.?

  ?Yeah, me too.?Rob was rubbing warmth back into his arms, his t-shirt still damp from mucking around by the pond. Jason handed Carrie four mugs from the tree next to him and she started to spoon the powder in.

  Standing by the stove, Gina had opened a box of cookies and left it close to the edge of the counter, as she nibbled on a slice of shortbread. Teacher, perennially hungry, whined and slavered by her knees, gazing up at her imploringly. She ignored him. On the other side of the room, Jason cringed, hoping the dog would stop begging. It was the one thing that really made Camilla Grace angry, and Jason knew that it was his fault Teacher did it at all. The Graces never ever fed him tidbits, but Jason just couldn’t help himself and always snuck his canine friend small pieces of whatever he was eating. Every time, he promised himself that he wouldn’t do it anymore, but he couldn’t resist those big soppy brown eyes. Yeah, if it wasn’t for him, daft as he was, Teach would have learned the no-begging rule by now. Avoiding the dog’s confused glances, he started adding sugar to the mugs, ready and waiting for the kettle to boil.

  Gina took another biscuit, and Teacher pawed at her legs, his mouth starting to drool. ?Jesus, Teacher, sod off!?Gina pushed him away and moved to the other side of the stove, mild irritation marring her beauty. Watching from

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  the far counter, Jason saw the dog eyeing the box so temptingly close to the edge of the counter, and realized with horror what he was going to do. ?Teacher, no!?

  It was too late. The dog’s clumsy front paws had left the ground by the time Jason got the words out, and as he scrabbled for the counter, all Jason and the others could do was watch with sickening horror as the golden pad hit the black handle of the pan, sending the boiling water up into the air, bringing it down in a waterfall directly over Gina’s head. The girl flinched by instinct, but not a drop touched her as Rob—always Rob the hero—grabbed her arm and pulled her away. Instead the water squirted outwards, as if trapped in an invisible hose that someone had squeezed a finger over, spraying everything but Gina. Teacher yelped and bounded towards Jason, who hugged the dog to him, crouching on the floor. Still holding the kettle, Carrie let out a small shout as some of the scalding liquid landed on her arm. Sometime in all this, the pan clattered emptily to the floor, the noise harsh and unforgiving.

  For a moment there was silence as the four children stared at each other, and then Teacher whimpered, his dog sense telling him that this was all his fault. Jason patted him gently as the water gathered in a steaming pool in the middle of the floor.

  Gina’s face was red with anger. ?That stupid dog is always in the way. Look what it’s done now!?

  Camilla Grace appeared in the doorway, and took in the scene, her face confused. ?What happened??

  Gina’s face was as surly as her voice, and Jason felt himself falling out of love with her. ?Teacher jumped up to get the biscuits and knocked the pan over. I hate that stupid dog! Why didn’t Daddy just get me a kitten like I wanted??

  Camilla rushed to her daughter to check her for burns, taking no notice of Carrie who held her scalded wrist under the cold tap. ?Are you okay, darling? Oh God, you could have been seriously hurt.?

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  Jason stood up, aware of the dog crouched low and fearful behind his legs. ?No one was hurt, Mrs. Grace. It was just an accident.?His heart squeezed tight as he saw Carrie out of the corner of his eye turning the tap quickly off, and hiding her burn in support. She wouldn’t want Teacher to get into trouble any more than he did. Suddenly Carrie’s inner beauty shone for him far brighter than Gina’s physical presence ever could. Somewhere in this strange summer that had gotten lost. So many things had gotten lost, and he wondered how much of it was down to Gina’s strange power and the hold she seemed to have over them.

  Camilla Grace’s eyes were cold as she stared at Teacher. ?That bloody dog’s been a nuisance ever since it arrived.?She pointed at the blanket in the corner of the room. ?Get on your bed!? The overgrown puppy shifted forward a couple of steps, and braved a half-wag with its tail. ?I said get on your bed!?Her shrill words conveyed their meaning well, and almost on his belly, Teacher skulked over to the blanket and lay down, his brown eyes gazing up at each of them mournfully.

  Jason moved toward him, his heart aching, knowing this was partially his fault. If he hadn’t encouraged Teach to beg then none of this would have happened, and he just wanted to stroke him and let him know everything was okay.

  This time Camilla’s anger was directed at him, her voice calm and quiet. ?Jason, if you go and pet that dog, then it’s the last time you’ll step foot in this house. Do you understand me? The animal has to learn.? Jason froze on the spot and nodded, unable to contemplate never returning here, to the comfort of the house, to Teacher.

  ?Now go into the sitting room. All of you. I’ve got to mop up this mess.?

  Subdued, Jason followed the others out, and into the lounge at the front of the house. The fire was blazing and he sat silently on the sofa next to Rob, just wanting to go 173

  home, but unable to leave until he knew that Teacher was going to be all right. Carrie took one of the deep armchairs and stared with disgust at Gina, who was sitting in the other. Her voice was low. ?Why did you have to tell your mum about Teacher? That was mean. You could have just said it was an accident.?

  Rob slowly nodded. ?Yeah, Carrie’s right, you didn’t have to get him in trouble. He’s only a puppy. And it’s not as if you were in any danger, is it? That water wouldn’t have hit you if I’d poured it over your head.?

  Gina shrugged. ?I don’t know what you’re getting so wound up about. It’s only a dog.? She sounded disgruntled, and Jason felt warmth flooding through his body, warmth and love for Carrie and Rob. Carrie, Rob and Teacher, his forever friends.

  Gina got up and turned the TV on, and the four of them watched it silently, enjoying the blaze that warmed their bones from the hearth, despite the atmosphere that hung over them, the feeling unnatural to this place where they all normally felt so at ease. Jason was surprised that neither Carrie nor Rob had decided to leave yet, and realized that maybe they like him, wanted to check on their four-legged friend before heading back into their other, less consuming lives. Something in the thought calmed him. Everything was going to be okay. The poor mutt had just been given a telling off, that’s all, nothing worth going ape for.

  After maybe half an hour or so, Jason heard the kitchen door opening and the sound of paws scratching on the wooden floor of the hall. He doubted Teacher was out of the doghouse, but as Camilla Grace never allowed him in the kitchen when she was preparing food, then he reckoned the puppy had a temporary reprieve. It seemed he was right, because a few seconds later, the familiar panting snout came into view, poking itself around the doorway, before hesitantly edging into the room.

  Jason and Carrie exchanged grins as the ungainly dog

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  tried to move unnoticed toward the carpet in front of the fire, his tail still hung low with shame although the tip was wagging in anticipation of forgiveness. Carrie gave him a surreptitious pat as he passed, and even Rob giggled at the sight of Teacher trying to control his happiness, while still glancing warily at Gina. Eventually, his confidence a little restored, he sat down a few feet away from the fire, pleased to be back in their company. He looked over at Jason for reassurance, but not wanting to excite Teach and make Gina, who so far had ignored his entrance by concentrating on the TV, shout at him again, he only smiled quickly and then looked away.

  Teacher took a step toward Jason, wanting to curl up by his feet, and then froze and started to whine.

  ?What’s the matter with him??Rob had leaned forward on the sofa, and Jason had to stretch around him to see. Teacher’s body looked strange, twisted slightly, as if he was wanting to go in one direction, and someone was pulling in the other. His heart started to pound. ?What’s the matter, boy? Come here.?

  The dog whined again, his eyes moving from one person to the next in confusion and rising panic. Even Gina was watching him, her face pale, as Teacher seemed to slide slightly on the carpet. Carrie’s voice came in a whisper, sending a chill through Jason’s body. ?It looks like someone’s trying to drag him by his collar.?She was right. Teacher was now sitting much closer to the fire than he had been moments ago. Or was it just his imagination? How could he have been pulled by nothing?

  There was a moment’s pause, and then the dog stood up, his tail wagging slightly, still a little unsure, but back in control of his body. Rob looked at Gina. ?What the hell was that all about??

  Before she had a chance to answer, if she could answer at all, the puppy howled, a sound too high and too loud and too afraid to come from a dog. His big brown eyes met Jason’s for a brief second before something twisted 175

  the dog around and sucked it forward, plunging that beautiful golden head into the flames. The room was suddenly filled with screams, but the only ones Jason could hear were Teacher’s and his own as he leapt from the sofa where Rob sat frozen, and threw himself across the room, clutching at the body of the squealing struggling dog, trying to pull him out, trying with all his might, but something stronger was holding him in there.

  Screaming in frustration, ignoring the smell of burning fur and cooking meat, and ignoring the tears that were pouring down his face, Jason thrust his hands into the fire, the pain unbearable as it raced up his arms, but that didn’t matter, nothing mattered, and the melting skin on his fingers made contact with the melting flesh of Teacher’s head as the dog flung itself from side to side in agony, trapped in the fire. Their screams mingled as Jason tugged and tugged, the dampness on his cheeks evaporating in the searing wall of heat, and then there was only his own scream of pain and anguish abandoned by the other, as the struggling stopped and the dog went limp in his arms, the sudden weight making Jason fall backwards as the fire released its cargo.

  As he knelt on the carpet, somewhere behind him he could hear Carrie’s hitching breath as she whispered from behind her hands, ?Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,? to no one and everyone, but the words seemed to be traveling from another world, as was the keening, quiet wail coming from him, from deep inside him, getting louder every second as he cradled the mutilated, unrecognizable head, in his burnt hands. From the neck up Teacher had no skin, no skin at all, just something pink stretched over his bones and teeth, pulled back in agony, and those floppy, silky ears were vanished forever. Jason was rocking backwards and forwards now, as his whole being started to break, not just his heart, this was too much for just his heart, and he felt as if every organ inside was shattering, smashing themselves into

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  nothing, leaving him hollow. Leaning over, unaware of the stench, he kissed the hot meat, held it close to him as if somehow, maybe if he wished hard enough, he could bring Teacher back, but he’s got no eyes, no big, brown soft eyes, and maybe if I’d moved quicker, and maybe if I’d never given him a treat, and maybe it’s all my fault.