The scream ripped through his thoughts, and this time he was sure it wasn’t his own, he had no energy left for screaming, and then there were Camilla Grace’s hands trying to pull him away, and then Rob’s were there too, and then there were too many hands and he couldn’t hold on against them, however much he tried, and then they separated them. They took Teacher from him. After that, it was his own howl of grief that filled his ears.

  The rest of the day passed in a haze, it probably did for all of them, but Jason was beyond noticing the others. He was barely aware of himself. Camilla Grace put Teacher in a black garbage bag, he was sure of that, he could remember Rob’s silent tears as he helped her, and all the while she talked about what a terrible accident it was, and how they’d bury him properly in the garden with a cross and everything, and as Jason listened numbly to the words all he could see was that black plastic bag, knowing Teacher was in it like some kind of used-up rubbish that nobody wanted, nobody had ever wanted, and he deserved better than that.

  He didn’t know where she put Teacher’s remains, and he didn’t really want to know, but after they’d ?cleared up,? as Camilla Grace called it, she bundled Jason and Rob into the car and took them to the hospital, her face looking old and drawn as she clutched the wheel. Carrie stayed behind with Gina, who didn’t want to come, wasn’t able to come, instead sitting in the armchair, her back stiff and upright, clutching at her hands as she stared at the singed area in the middle of the rug.

  The doctor covered his arms and hands with lotions that felt like acid on his flesh and then bandaged him up

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  and told him he’d have to come back and get the dressings changed in a couple of days. The words washed over him as did Camilla Grace’s tears and soothing whispers. Rob sat on the chair opposite and their eyes met, both gazes now old before their time, and Jason knew that the other boy was thinking the same thing he was. Teacher nearly burned Gina in the kitchen and then this happened. Her magic had gone sour. Everything had gone sour.

  The next day, he didn’t go to Syracousse. None of them did. Nor the day after that. Two days later, so full of anger at the world—maybe if Rob had got up off the sofa and helped, we could have saved Teacher—he did the terrible thing on the last day of school, and then he didn’t really see anyone for a while, except Carrie who valiantly kept trying to get the two boys to speak. But she didn’t go to Syracousse either, and neither did Rob. They’d had their fill of Gina. It was two weeks before they’d go back again, sneaking in through the side gate late in the evening, not wanting to see either Camilla or Philip Grace, and only then after Carrie had insisted. It was she who had made the three of them meet up at Rob’s for two long hours of discussion, trying to analyze what had really happened, each word like a knife in the aching hollow of his insides. But they’d done what she said and had gone to Syracousse, because they needed to know, maybe they needed to go back and give Gina, who had become drawn and quiet, a chance to answer for herself. That’s what Carrie had said anyway, and maybe she was right. They sure as hell got more of an answer than they bargained for.

  The small drop of liquid fell directly from his eye to the tatty image, and Jason carefully wiped it off before putting the photo away. Sniffing hard, he drained his glass, angry with himself. Crying at something that happened more than twenty years ago. Jesus, he didn’t cry when he heard about Carrie, but he could still cry over Teacher? How fucking pathetic was that? Standing up, the walls of the

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  tiny flat suddenly claustrophobic; he grabbed his jacket from the back of the door, and headed outside. He didn’t know quite how he felt about spending time with Rob again, but at least at the moment, Robster’d be the one person who didn’t think he was going mad, and even if he was, then they were going mad together. He smiled wryly as the cold wind hit his cheeks. And going mad with someone else in tow didn’t seem quite as frightening as doing it on your own.

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  Rob had cleaned up the kitchen and the house was looking pretty normal by the time Jason arrived at six-thirty. Standing in the kitchen, like they had so many times, so many years ago, the awkwardness between them was almost visible, and under the bright lights Jason looked tired and pale.

  ?Are you okay, mate??Rob grabbed the bottle of wine he’d just opened and two glasses as Jason laughed slightly.

  ?Yeah, but it’s been one fucker of a day.?

  Glancing around at the cupboards that so recently had been covered with coffee, he knew what Jase meant. Boy, did he understand. ?Come on. Let’s go into the lounge.?He didn’t plan to spend any more time than he had to in this room, and he certainly didn’t have any intention of turning on his laptop again. Nope, if there was any writing to be done—and he had serious doubts about that happening in the near future—then it was back to the good old paper-and-pen method.

  Jason sat on the sofa and sipped his wine, his body stiff and uncomfortable as he leaned forward, resting his

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  forearms on his legs. ?Any luck with getting hold of Gina??His blue eyes shone in the reflective glow of the fire, but their seriousness dulled them dark.

  Rob shook his head. ?I don’t know yet. The solicitor says he’ll pass the message on, but we’ll see. Maybe we’ll hear from her, but probably not.?He sipped his own drink. ?What happened with Judge Matthews??

  Jason took three or four long gulps of wine before he started his story, and Rob listened quietly without interruption, as his childhood friend spoke calmly, starting with the fight with Bob and moving to the judge’s madness, and as he listened his heart chilled. So many secrets. You and your friends. So much dirty guilt eating at you. So much blame. How could the judge have known? How? Well, if you’re going to start thinking things like that, then how the hell did your computer blow up your coffee machine this morning? Haven’t quite figured out an answer for that yet, have we?

  Pulling his attention back, realizing that the story was moving on without him, he focused again on Jason’s words, swallowing his fear for a moment. Studying the other man’s face as he spoke, seeing the self-loathing that hovered so close to its surface, he wondered whether Jason had any idea of how few people in the world, in this untrusting world, would have checked on the old man like he did? Jason had always been such a conflict of so many things, and it seemed as if nothing there had changed. He could have been anything he wanted, despite Gallows Hill, despite everything that happened to them; Gina, Teacher and Philip Grace, but there was too much anger inside him that he’d never been able to let go. Maybe it was staying in Streatford that had kept it there, locked up tight inside. Maybe Jason had thought that without his anger there would be nothing of him left. And it wasn’t just Jase. Were he and Carrie so different? Carrie was dead, and he, well, the success of his books was certainly balanced by the failures in his personal life. No question

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  about that. God, did what happened that summer really leave them all as fuckups, or should they take a little more of the blame for that themselves?

  Jason poured himself another glass of wine, and topped off Rob’s, his story over. ?I don’t know, maybe it means something, or maybe I’m just going fucking crazy. Either way, all I know is that old man put the fear of God into me with what he said. And then finding him dead like that … I mean, shit!?

  Rob lit two cigarettes and passed one to Jason, who held it with finger and thumb, instead of the normal way between index and middle fingers, just as he had on their first nauseating encounters with nicotine down at the Rec when they were nine or ten. There was something comforting in that.

  ?I don’t think you’re crazy. I don’t think you’re crazy at all.? Pulling deep on his cigarette, he recounted the weird things Kelly had told him about the rape at the house and then the events of his kitchen, the madness of the words that appeared impossibly on the unplugged screen, MAKE HER COME HOME HOME HOME, and the explosion of his coffee pot. Hearing the words aloud, his own speech more faltering than Jason’s had been, it was hard to believe that it had only happened this morning; the fear seemed to have been with him far longer than that. When he’d finished, he looked up at Jason, who seemed to accept his story without questions as if he’d been expecting it, or something like it. ?Do you think Gina could be doing all this stuff without realizing it??

  Jason shrugged. ?Your guess is as good as mine. It’s possible. I mean, she never really had control over the stuff that happened back then, did she? Whatever power she had, it was subconscious. Maybe wherever she is, she’s going through some kind of trauma and this is how it’s coming out.?He paused. ?It’s hard to say. I never really felt I knew her. She was always a bit elusive, wasn’t she??A grim smile threatened to break on his face.

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  ?Beautiful and terrible. But I guess you probably knew her better than me, so what do you think??

  Rob shook his head, not knowing if Jason had meant

  the comment to be barbed or not, and not really caring. ?I didn’t know her any better than anyone, although after Teacher came along, I guess Carrie and I spent more time with her than you did. I think Carrie knew her best, but she’s not here to help us.?

  Jason stared into the fire. ?I think Gina was jealous of Teacher.?

  Rob thought of the dream he’d had while dozing on the afternoon before his date with Kelly, the way he’d seen it all from the outside, Gina’s eyes flicking to the kitchen window, checking to see that Jason was there before she kissed him. ?I think Gina was jealous of a lot of things.?His eyes lingered on the flames as the two of them sat in silence for a few moments. Despite the reason for their reunion, it felt good to see Jason again, to talk about all this stuff with someone who could understand. He pulled his eyes away from the streaks of hot blue and orange and was startled to find Jason watching him intently. The other man’s eyes slipped away, looking into the red in his glass while he spoke.

  ?I’ve been thinking about Carrie’s message. About Teacher. What do you think she meant by ‘we got it wrong’? Do you think maybe she thought that Gina wasn’t responsible??

  ?I’ve wondered about that, too.?His voice was firmer, quicker. This was no time to meander into memories. ?But then I think about that last day at the house. About what Gina said and then what happened. I can’t see how it couldn’t be her. I mean, who else could it be? Also, this weird shit is only happening to people involved with her. The judge locked her mum away in the nuthouse, and us … well, we were there, we knew more than anyone what was going on at Syracousse. Shit, we loved it up there. We couldn’t stay away.? 183

  Jason smiled. ?It felt good up there for a while, didn’t it? It was the first place that I’d really felt safe, where the world was my oyster. I was happy there.?He let out a short laugh. ?Sounds crazy given everything that happened.?

  ?I think crazy is the word of the day, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it if I were you.?Their eyes met and it was good to see no tension there. Jason lit another cigarette.

  ?So if this stuff is only happening to the people who know Gina, then how do you explain the rape up at the house? Those kids wouldn’t know Gina.?

  Rob sighed. ?I can’t answer that. All I know is that my gut tells me that the rape was the start of it all. It’s like it flicked a switch or something, turning this madness on.?

  ?It’d be a bit of a relief if we were just going mad, wouldn’t it? We could just go and check ourselves into the funny farm and that’d be that.? Jason seemed to find the thought amusing for a moment, before a dark shadow settled on his face. He glanced around the room, and Rob knew before Jason started speaking that his mind had wandered to that afternoon in the attic.

  ?This house brings back the memories, too. Are you sure you’re okay staying here??

  Rob’s insides clammed up. He wasn’t ready to talk about his dad with Jason yet. ?It was a long time ago. I don’t really think about it much.?His voice was sharp and Jason didn’t look convinced.

  ?If you say so.?

  ?I say so.?

  Suddenly the strained atmosphere between them had returned, the room filled with tension just as it had been on the afternoon that Carrie had called the powwow to talk about Teacher, and the two of them had sat just like this, not looking at each other, not even wanting to speak to each other. All that was missing was the pain of that afternoon. Time had taken care of that, but the tension had survived and seemed just as strong as ever.

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  Rob stood up, too drained to feel anything but tired. Maybe some things were broken forever, however much you wished you could mend them. Like a carefully repaired broken vase. It may look exactly the same afterwards, but the damage had been done, its perfection ruined. You may as well just have thrown it away.

  ?Look, we’ll see if we hear from Gina over the next couple of days. Then we’ll decide what to do, if in fact there is anything we can do without getting ourselves certified. Anyway, I’ll see you at the funeral tomorrow.?

  Jason had stood up, and they walked into the hallway to the front door. ?I’ll be there.?

  Rob pulled the door open, the cold wind bursting in. ?It’s been good talking to you, Jase. It really has.?He cursed himself inside for how false the words sounded, despite the fact that he meant them. Probably because of the fact that he meant them. Well, that was him, great on paper, pretty crap in reality.

  Jason didn’t look back as he stepped outside, but his voice was heavy and sad. ?You too, Robster. You too.? 185

  Rob’s umbrella gave him some protection from the rain as he walked up to the town’s graveyard on Dulverton Road, but by the time he stepped through the small black gates under the moss-covered stone arch, his legs were feeling damp beneath the trousers of his suit, and his nose was running slightly. The rain had started in the night, its constant beating at the window keeping him company through the long night as he lay awake, his small spells of sleep interrupted by dreams of Carrie as she had been and the fat, unhappy woman she became. In the end he’d gotten up at four and made himself coffee and a fire, trying to lose himself in a book until the rest of the world woke up. It didn’t really work, the combination of tiredness and emotional upset, destroying his concentration.

  Michael had rung at eight, and he’d mustered enough energy to lie about the progress of the book, and put the agent off the idea of coming down for a few days—?don’t want to spoil the momentum?—before trying to wash away his exhaustion under the shower.

  Now, as he strode through the rows of abandoned

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  gravestones toward the mound of dug-out earth at the back, he was glad of the rain. It made him feel alive, attacking the numbness inside him from the outside. Stepping onto the wet grass, he made his way to where the vicar was standing patiently at the head of the grave. As he got closer, the coffin came into view, next to the hole it would soon disappear into, losing the light forever. Carrie’s coffin. Laughing, lively, tomboy Carrie. Gone forever. Not even a church service to say farewell, just a quick embarrassed burial, tucked away in a far corner where no one could see.

  Jason was already there, standing next to the casket, his head bowed in thought. Rob nodded to the vicar, then went and stood next to his childhood friend. Close up the casket seemed thin, as if the water dripping on it from above would soon seep through, and where there should have been ornate brass fittings, there were only standard clasps, holding it shut. His heart was heavy as he stared. ?God, not much of a way to go, is it? She deserved better than this.?

  Jason’s eyes burned when they met his, his tone sarcastic. ?Sorry, mate, it may not be up to your standards, but it was all I could afford.?

  Rob could have kicked himself for being so stupid. Of course, someone had to pay for the funeral, but it just hadn’t crossed his mind, not with everything else that had been going on. He watched Jason, whose gaze had returned to Carrie’s coffin, filled with anger and resentment, and felt the guilt wash over him. Jase hadn’t forgotten. Jason had taken care of it, just like he had the judge, and just like he’d taken care of him on the afternoon in the attic, despite everything that happened afterwards. Jason always had been the strong one, even if he didn’t give himself credit for it. Jason had always been good at looking out for everyone. Rob searched his mind for the best thing to say, but his mouth opened before he’d found the words.

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  ?Do you want me to chip in? I should. She was my friend, too.?

  Jason spat out his laugh. ?No thanks. There are some things I can afford to do by myself, even if they don’t quite meet with your approval.?He paused, and his voice softened. ?Anyway, Carrie was never really a diamonds-and-flowers kind of girl, was she??

  ?No. She wasn’t.?

  Looking up, some of the anger had gone from Jason’s face. ?I take it you haven’t had a call from Gina then??Rob shook his head, and Jason sniffed. ?Yeah, well, I didn’t expect her to give a shit, so I’m not really surprised.?

  A flash of light caught Rob in the corner of his eye, and following it he spotted a small group of journalists outside the gates. ?Those guys really have no respect, do they??

  Jason smiled. ?What, worried about your reputation? You didn’t have to come, you know.?

  Tired of feeling like scum, Rob’s anger flared. ?Tell me, just when did you turn into such an arsehole, Jason??

  The other man turned, his face only inches away from Rob’s. ?I don’t know. Not long after you, I should imagine, Mr. Bigshot.?

  Rob couldn’t believe they were acting like such a pair of kids. ?Oh, lose the chip on your shoulder, Jase.?He could see Kelly and her father walking toward them, two solemn figures in black. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Jason. And he didn’t want to either. You’ve missed him, haven’t you? Even if you don’t want to admit it.