“Cameron, I don’t know.”

  “I do.” Setting the suitcase down, he pulled her into his arms.

  “How could I have been such a fool?” she sobbed. “I still love him and now it is too late and it’s my own fault.”

  “Mom, I wish things were different.”

  “So do I.” She lifted her head from his shoulder. Tears coated her lashes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Either of you.”

  Caitlin couldn’t help but look at Cameron. His expression was unreadable. The only reason he wanted her there was for Joshua. He might want the side benefit of her in his bed, but sex wouldn’t solve the bigger issue. “If you’ll give me the information, I’ll cancel the cab and the hotel, and you and Cameron can talk.”

  Sniffing, Mrs. McBride opened her purse and took out a small piece of paper and handed it to Caitlin. “Thank you.”

  “I’m the one who should be thanking you. Joshua couldn’t have a better MeMa.” Impulsively she kissed the other woman on the cheek, careful not to touch Cameron. “I hope we can keep in touch and visit often. Joshua’s maternal grandparents are living, but they’ve chosen not to have much contact with us.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Good night.”

  “Good night, Caitlin.”

  Quietly, Caitlin left. In her room she canceled the cab and hotel, then dressed for bed, all the time thinking how similar Mrs. McBride’s situation was to hers. Both had left the man they loved, both had had a child involved, both regretted the decision, both were reaping the bitter consequences.

  But there was one major difference. If Mrs. McBride had the chance to do it all over again she’d stay with her husband. Caitlin would still leave, and ask God, as she’d done every night, to watch over the man she would always love.

  A knock sounded on her door. Cameron. She’d half expected him, dressing in the cotton pajamas she’d purchased at the specialty store. She pulled on the matching robe and opened the door.

  He looked tired and miserable. She stepped aside for him to enter and closed the door after him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah. I wish . . .”

  “I know,” she said, reaching out to touch his arm.

  “I don’t want us to end up like that. Hurting each other because we’re afraid of being hurt.” He shook his head. “Dad worshiped Mom, but he’s erected this wall.”

  “You said it—he doesn’t want to be hurt again,” she said.

  Cameron stared down at her, then trailed a finger along the side of her face. “I’m finding there are worse things.”

  Her breath hitched. “We said we’d keep this impersonal.”

  “We said a lot of things.” He pulled her into his arms, his mouth finding hers. There was a sweet desperation in the kiss. So many things were against them. Lifting his head, he went to the door. “Sleep well, and thanks for caring about my mother.”

  “Good night. She made it easy.” She closed the door. Caitlin, she thought, you’re going to be in big trouble if you keep on letting him touch you, but you enjoy it too much to stop him. Tonight she wasn’t going to worry about it.

  Cameron woke up early to take his mother to the airport. He cursed inwardly when he saw her red, puffy eyes, but knew nothing he could say would change anything. Only his father could do that and apparently that wasn’t happening. One thing he had been able to do was book her on the first flight to New York.

  At the security checkpoint at the airport she’d clung to him as tightly as she had last night, and issued just as dire a warning. “Swallow your pride or whatever it takes, but don’t end up like me with regret and thoughts of what might have been.”

  He’d stayed until she’d disappeared down the concourse, then he’d gone home to find Caitlin and his father at the breakfast table. Apparently she had cooked breakfast. Their family might have been in the hotel business, but his father was next to worthless in the kitchen.

  Cameron’s helplessness turned to anger. He hadn’t even been able to get his mother to drink coffee, and his father had a full plate of food in front of him. Cameron opened his mouth to say something mouthy to his father, but then he looked up. Just for a moment his father’s eyes held the same bleakness they had when his mother had walked out on him and filed for divorce.

  “Good morning, Cameron,” Caitlin said.

  Cameron jerked his gaze to her and saw the almost imperceptible shake of her head. “Morning,” Cameron amended, and took a seat next to his father. “You sleep all right?”

  “Yes.” His hands remained curled around the coffee mug.

  It was a lie that Cameron had no intention of challenging. It would solve nothing. His father was hurting just as badly and determined not to show it or let himself be hurt again. Last night had all been an act to protect himself. Cameron wondered if there really was a woman.

  “Would you like breakfast?” Caitlin asked.

  “Please.” Cameron pulled out a chair and took a seat. “It looks good.”

  “Caitlin found me in the kitchen and took pity on me,” Mr. McBride said, finally raising his cup to his mouth.

  “Since your flight isn’t until this afternoon, why don’t you come to the race shop with me this morning? We can drop back by here to pick up your luggage and you can say good-bye to Joshua then,” Cameron suggested, accepting his plate filled with bacon and eggs, noting they were fluffy instead of the hard pebbles that once were all she could cook.

  “Yes, I can cook,” Caitlin said, with no animosity in her voice.

  “How is it, Dad?” he asked, hoping to jar his father into eating. “Caitlin used to be almost as bad as you are in the kitchen.”

  “ ‘Used to be’ is the operative phrase. Help me out here, Mr. McBride,” Caitlin said, apparently catching on and trying to help.

  The older man looked at his plate as if he’d forgotten it was there, then picked up his fork and took a bite of fluffy soft scrambled eggs. “They’re good.”

  “See,” she said smugly, folding her arms.

  Cameron took a bite, then lifted a brow. “He’s right. They are good.”

  Caitlin smiled with undisguised pleasure. “Thank you.”

  Cameron turned to say something to his father and caught him watching him with a strange look on his face. Cameron didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what his father was thinking; the same thing that was on his mother’s mind. Only he wanted Cameron to get as far away from Caitlin as possible so he wouldn’t have to go through the pain he was enduring, while Cameron’s mother’s advice was just the opposite.

  Cameron had his own plan and he was putting it into action this afternoon.

  “We have a surprise for you,” Cameron said.

  Joshua giggled. “I helped pick it out.”

  Caitlin looked up from her sketch pad. She wondered if she’d ever get used to seeing father and son together. Joshua was a miniature of his gorgeous father, who looked deceptively lean. She knew hard muscles were under the chambray shirt and tight jeans. Joshua was dressed just like his father, down to the cowboy boots.

  “I guess your mother doesn’t like surprises?” Cameron teased. “Maybe we should take it back.”

  Joshua shook his head and ran to grab his mother’s hand. “Come on. It’s something you need.”

  “Something I need,” Caitlin repeated, trying to come up with what they had bought her now. The yellow roses he’d given her in Chicago were on the dresser in her room. They were the first thing she saw when she woke up. Cameron’s thoughtfulness had touched her more than she wanted to admit. What else could he want to give her? She balked. “It’s not a car, is it?”

  Cameron frowned. “No.”

  She could see the wheels turning in his head. “No car.”

  “Come on, Mommy.”

  “I’ve got a faster way, son.” Grinning, Cameron picked up a startled Caitlin.

  She gasped as Joshua laughed. “Put me down.”

  “Daddy picked up Mommy,” Joshua singsonged.

  “Lead the way, Joshua, while I bring your mother.” Cameron hugged Caitlin close as she pushed against his chest.

  He stopped and leaned his face closer to hers. “If you don’t stop, I might have to kiss you.”

  She flushed, licked her lips.

  His nostrils flared. The laughter left his face.

  “Daddy, come on!” Joshua cried impatiently.

  “Saved by an impatient four-and-half-year-old,” he whispered. Out loud he said, “Coming, son.”

  Cameron walked into the glass-enclosed sitting area that looked out to the formal gardens, dancing fountain, and the pool pavilion. Caitlin was too busy trying to control the desire pulsing through her to be aware of anything except the man holding her so tightly.

  “Surprise!” Joshua yelled.

  Caitlin looked toward the sound and gasped. There was an easel and paintbrushes, almost identical to her work station at home. “How?”

  “Joshua with a little help from Diana. We have one smart son.”

  “Daddy, put her down so she can see all her stuff,” Joshua told his father.

  “Spoilsport,” Cameron whispered, but he set Caitlin on her feet and walked with her over to the easel. “I have the store’s card. If you want to exchange anything or you need more supplies, all you have to do is call. They deliver.”

  “It’s almost like my setup at home,” she murmured softly.

  Joshua patted the stool. “Sit down, Mommy. I tried it out and it works real good.”

  She smiled and took a seat. “Thanks for testing it for me.”

  “We wanted everything to be right.” Cameron’s face turned serious. “I realized that night at the Palmer House, when you didn’t have your sketch pad, that sitting on the bed might not be the best thing.”

  “Thank you,” she said, picking up one of the charcoal pencils. “I’ll pay you back.”

  “Daddy used his credit card.” Joshua picked up a package of small sketch pads. “Daddy and me are going to put them in the car and all over the house so if you think of something you can draw it.”

  “Cameron, I appreciate the offer, but your house is picture-perfect. I don’t want to clutter it up with my work,” she protested.

  “I want you to be comfortable,” he told her. “Is this all right? I thought you’d enjoy the light.”

  “Daddy bought me a portable PlayStation so I can watch movies and play games while you’re working,” Joshua said, proudly showing her the entertainment pack.

  “I—”

  “Before you object, there are learning programs on math and science, and he’s promised me to put on an educational program between games,” Cameron defended. “He even has headphones.”

  “Isn’t this great, Mommy?” Joshua grinned up at her.

  “It is. Thank you, Cameron,” she said. “But I could just as well work in my bedroom.”

  “They’re delivering another table in a couple of hours and will set it up in your room,” Cameron said. “You’ll still be able to work at night. I don’t want your staying with me to change anything.”

  How could he say that? Living here changed everything, especially for her heart that wanted what it couldn’t have.

  His dark eyes narrowed for a moment as if he could read her thoughts. “I better get back to the garage.”

  “Daddy, can I go with you?” Joshua asked.

  “Not this time, son. We’re working on the engine and I’ll be in and out of the car testing it, so it will be busy.” Cameron took off his hat and placed it on his son’s head. “Keep my hat for me, and take care of your mother while I’m gone.”

  “I will, Daddy.”

  Cameron squatted down. “Give your old man a hug.” Joshua eagerly went into his father’s arms. Cameron pushed to his feet and stared at Caitlin a full two seconds before pulling her into his arms. “If you want to worry about something, worry about what you’re going to cook your men for dinner.”

  “This morning you were skeptical and now you want a full-course meal,” she bantered back.

  “We need our strength, don’t we, son?”

  “Yes, sir,” Joshua answered dutifully.

  Cameron stared down into her face. “I’ll try to be home before seven.” Kissing her on the cheek, he was gone.

  “I wanna wait for Daddy.”

  “Honey, it’s seven-fifteen. Daddy had someone call. He’s going to be late. He wanted you to eat and take your bath and go to bed.”

  Arms folded, Joshua had his head down with the cap Cameron had put on his head before leaving. “I wanna wait on Daddy.”

  They’d been having this “discussion” for thirty minutes, ever since one of Cameron’s crewmen had called. There was a problem with the shocks and they wanted to fix it before they called it a night.

  Picking up his plate, she placed it back in the warming oven. “Why don’t we go get your bath.”

  “I wanna wait for Daddy.”

  Caitlin stared down at her son, and accepted that she had two options: get an attitude and remind him who was the boss here or accept that Joshua was as needy to be around his father as his father was to be around him. The back door opened and in rushed Cameron.

  “Daddy!” Joshua was out of his seat in a flash.

  “Hi, Joshua.” Cameron picked Joshua up without breaking his stride. His eyes looked a bit anxious. “Sorry I’m late.”

  He should be. She folded her arms. Knowing the pose was combative didn’t stop her. “Joshua refused to eat until you came home.”

  Cameron stared at his son. “Son, I’m thrilled you want to wait, but I want you to mind your mother.”

  “Yes, sir, but I missed you,” he said, his lower lip trembling.

  “The same goes here, but it would sure help me when I can’t be here to know that you’re minding your mother and you both are doing all right,” he said. “Your mother worries about you when you don’t eat.”

  Joshua looked at his mother. “I’m sorry.”

  She hadn’t expected Cameron to come to her defense. But then she reflected that he backed her with Joshua . . . except when it came to matters involving racing. “Apology accepted. Your father can wash up and we can eat. You can get his glass and fill it with ice.”

  Joshua brightened and wiggled to get down. Cameron set him on his feet. “You’re good at being a mother.”

  The compliment took her aback. “You let him know he was wrong, but that you loved him,” Caitlin said. She turned and winced at the grinding sound as the ice maker attempted to spit out ice.

  “Ease back a bit, Joshua,” Cameron said, going to stand by his son. “Burn out the motor and you’re in trouble.”

  Joshua pulled the glass back and glanced up at his father. “It can’t run without a motor, just like number twenty-three can’t.”

  “Right.” Cameron accepted the glass. “Why don’t you go get your mother’s glass. It takes practice to develop just the right touch, just like in driving.”

  “All right.” Joshua did a fast walk to the table for the glass.

  Caitlin said nothing. Father and son were bonding more and more and, despite the danger involved, she couldn’t regret that Joshua had his father.

  “Caitlin, the hauler is leaving tomorrow for the Las Vegas Speedway. Frank, my driver, is taking my motor home that same day. The team owner has given us the use of his jet to fly down there on Thursday evening and we can all fly back late Sunday night or Monday.”

  Caitlin had known this was coming, but she still sat there on the sofa across from Cameron later that night and she still couldn’t get the words out. His parents’ unhappiness and their warnings were too fresh.

  She might have been able to shake his mother’s warning but his father’s was tough. He had said she should leave now before she ruined Cameron’s chance for a second Chase Cup. That bothered her the most. If she had thought he was being nosy or insensitive, she might have told him—respectfully—to mind his own business. But with the pain of his ruined marriage so vivid in his eyes and face, she couldn’t do that. All she could say was that she never wanted to hurt Cameron.

  “Caitlin?”

  She lifted her head and stared across at Cameron. He wore the jeans he preferred, a T-shirt with HILLIARD MOTORSPORTS on the front, and on the back a picture of him in racing gear beside the number 23.

  “You know how I feel, Cameron.”

  “I know, but Joshua is my son. I want him to know what I do for a living, and I want him there with me.”

  “No.” She came to her feet. “I don’t want him seeing the race.”

  His hands clenched, then he stood. “We’ll talk about it once we get there, but he will be there.”

  She folded her arms. “I guess all that talk about us working together was just talk.”

  “If it was, I would take Joshua whether you wanted me to or not. I could hire a lawyer,” he said, and kept talking as her eyes widened. “If you’re unhappy he’s going to be unhappy. I don’t want us fighting over him. I’m willing to take this slow, but you have to be willing to meet me halfway, otherwise this isn’t going to work.”

  She glanced away. “It’s hard.”

  Crossing to her, he took her arms. “I know. The closer it gets to race day, the harder it will be for you.”

  She might have known he’d remember and understand, but he wasn’t letting it sway him. “Why couldn’t you have been a salesman like I thought when we first met?”

  The sides of his mouth hitched up in a smile. “I saw you and that was that. I never wanted a woman to say yes to a date so badly.”

  “I couldn’t believe you really wanted to go out with me,” she admitted.

  His arms slipped around her waist. “I’d tell you you were beautiful, but you probably wouldn’t believe me now any more than you did then.”

  She shrugged. “I look in the mirror and just see me.”

  His hands cupped her face. “I see a beautiful, courageous woman. I see the mother of my child.”

  Her hands palmed his. “Not even close to being courageous.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. “There are different kinds of courage. Falling in love takes courage. Being a good mother takes courage. It would be so easy to turn Joshua against me, but you haven’t.”