Cameron propped his arms on the granite counter. He needed to talk to someone. Faith and Duncan were out. They were worried enough about him. The same with Brandon since he and Faith didn’t keep secrets from each other. His parents wouldn’t be of any help. They couldn’t help themselves. He didn’t want to end up like them.

  “I thought the tape would work,” he finally said.

  “I wasn’t so sure, but I’d hoped it would.”

  His head lifted, annoyance flared in his eyes. “Then why didn’t you say something earlier?”

  Hope merely lifted a brow. “Because, as I said, I hoped it would, and because you needed to do something besides mope. When I went to check on her and Joshua in your motor coach at the race in Vegas, she was terrified for you. I was prepared not to like her until then.”

  Cameron’s shoulders snapped back. Hope used her sharp tongue indiscriminately. “Did you say anything to hurt her?”

  “Caitlin might look shy, but she can take care of herself.” Hope retrieved her glass of orange juice from the counter by the oven and returned. “I like her. She did a good job raising Joshua. I’ve seen too many bitter single mothers trying to punish the father through the child.”

  Cameron’s gaze narrowed at the sharpness in her tone. Her comment sounded personal. “You dating a single father?”

  “What?” She straightened. “Why would you ask a thing like that?”

  He shrugged carelessly. “You just sounded as if you had firsthand knowledge.”

  “I don’t have time for a man,” she said, taking a sip of her juice. “We were talking about you and Caitlin.”

  Cameron had seen an evasive Hope before, but he’d never seen her flustered or nervous. There was the tiniest tremor in the hand holding the glass.

  “So what happened after the film?” she asked.

  Her question thrust everything else from his mind. “She said it just showed how dangerous my job was.”

  “Ever think you’re giving Caitlin too much leeway?” Hope asked, placing the glass on the counter.

  “Last night after she saw the film.” He looked her in the eye. “I won’t need the jet after the race Sunday.”

  Hope didn’t even blink. “Good, because I’m not sure I could talk Hilliard into letting you have it again.”

  “How did you do it the other times?” he asked, watching Hope closely.

  She busied herself with her juice. “Trade secret. Now get out of here. I have lots to do before I meet you at the television station for your interview.”

  He’d never felt less like being “on.” “Can’t you postpone it?”

  “No. Clarice might be a friend, but she’d have a hissy fit, and rightly so, if we canceled. The show is live,” she reminded him. “This late, she might not be able to find a replacement.”

  “I don’t feel like doing an interview,” he said.

  “Life is full of challenges.” Hope picked up her juice and took a sip. “Be sure and be there at half-past for your makeup.”

  Cameron scowled. “You know I hate that most of all. The gunk on my face is bad enough but, while I’m trapped in the chair, women working at the station just happen to drop by and leave me their phone numbers.”

  Hope faked a yawn. “It’s tough being an idol.”

  He glared at her although he knew it would bounce off her like water off a duck. “You have an answer for everything.”

  “Hardly. Some answers are just easier than others,” she said.

  “Don’t I know it.” He slid off the stool. “But I refuse to give up on Caitlin and Joshua. I’ll have my family back with me.”

  “If that doesn’t happen?”

  “It will,” he said firmly. “If you can’t be with me on this, perhaps I need to look for another PR rep.”

  Her black eyes narrowed. “You love her that much?”

  “And more,” he answered without hesitation.

  “Then it’s a good thing I happen to think of you more as family than a client, or you know what you could do with that ultimatum.”

  He chuckled. “Mike would wash your mouth out if he knew you talked that way.”

  “But you aren’t going to tell him.”

  She was right. He wasn’t. Shaking his head, he went to the door. “Russ doesn’t know what he’s letting himself in for.”

  “Why would you say that?” she asked with a frown.

  Cameron backpedaled fast. “Didn’t he ask you about being his PR rep?”

  “Oh, that.” She opened her front door. “I haven’t decided if I want to take on any more clients. The ones I have keep me busy enough.”

  “That we do. See you later, Hope.” Cameron went down the steps to his truck parked at the curb. Poor Russ. There hadn’t been a spark of interest in Hope’s eyes.

  Opening the Silverado’s door, he slid inside. Loving a woman who didn’t love you back was hell on earth. “Welcome to the club, you poor bastard.” Flicking the key, he started the engine and drove off.

  Cameron’s mood deteriorated with each passing day. He hadn’t meant to give an ultimatum to Caitlin. Yet, once given, he couldn’t take it back. Somehow he knew a hard line was needed this time, but he missed her even more than he had the first time she’d left. Missed Joshua.

  Being aware that this time he was to blame for her not being with him didn’t help.

  “Cameron, you want to talk about it?” Mike asked Friday morning, his arms folded, his dark eyes pinning Cameron to the spot.

  “No.” Talking wouldn’t help. He understood that now. He leaned against the opposite wall of the hauler and waited for Mike to continue. He didn’t have to wait long.

  “Tough.” Mike came up from the chair he had been sitting in. He stopped a scant foot from Cameron. His crew chief might be six inches shorter, but he gave the appearance of towering over his drivers. “If you don’t want this year to be a repeat of five years ago, you had better get your mind on the race.”

  Knowing his crew chief was right didn’t make the reprimand any more palatable. He gritted his teeth to keep the words he’d regret locked inside.

  “You got nothing to say?”

  “What do you want me to say?” he shouted. “My son won’t look at me. His mother is still running from me.”

  “So, life has kicked you in the teeth. But it has given you an opportunity that precious few ever get.” Mike took another step into Cameron’s personal space. “You’re even more blessed because you’re a black man in a sport that has seen damn few people of color.” He pointed a thumb at himself, then a stern finger at Cameron. “You and me and precious few others beat the odds. When you do a piss-poor job of driving, some people say you’re having a bad day, others say it’s because the color of your skin is finally telling.”

  Cameron knew what Mike said was true, and it fueled his anger at his own inability to keep his family together. “I can’t help what stupid people say.”

  “Yes you can,” Mike spit out. “Win races, and for those you can’t win, go down fighting. Drive like we both know you were born to do.”

  “Don’t you think I’m trying?” Cameron shouted.

  Mike’s eyes narrowed. He was the only one who got to raise his voice. “Trying has never cut it for me.”

  A knock sounded on the door, then it opened without waiting for a response. Both Mike and Cameron knew who would walk in. Hope stepped inside, looked from her father’s stern face to Cameron’s angry one. “It’s almost time for you to qualify. I don’t need to tell you that no one has ever won this race that started in less than thirty-first position.”

  Cameron’s laser gaze swung to Hope. “You don’t have to tell me about stats.”

  Undisturbed by his raised voice, Hope folded her arms. “Good, then I don’t have to remind you that the Texas Motor Speedway is the one track where you’ve never won. Odds are high that you won’t Sunday, either.” Her eyes gleamed. “If anyone on your team or I could bet, we’d take that and laugh all the way to the bank.”

  Cameron couldn’t keep the surprise from his face.

  “We know a winner,” Mike said. “Now get your butt out there and show those gleeful bastards that this year you’re going to own the Texas Motor Speedway.”

  Hope emphatically nodded her head. “I want to see how I look in one of those black hats that are presented to the team owner and winning team. Although I’m not sure where you’ll put the Beretta six-shooters they give with the prize money.” She wrinkled her nose. “Hilliard will probably try to talk you out of them since he has a gun collection. I’m surprised he hasn’t been hinting already.”

  For a brief moment, Cameron wondered how Hope knew Hilliard collected guns. He certainly hadn’t. The question had barely registered when he realized something far more important was going on: his team was behind him.

  Mike and Hope were leading the charge to give him a kick in the pants. He hoped it was enough. He pulled the black bill of his cap down on his head. “Let’s go.”

  Caitlin had a miserable week. She missed Cameron. It was a deep ache that never completely went away and worsened with each passing day. She had been tempted so many times to call him on his cell phone. Then what? She wasn’t going to change, and he was too stubborn to back down. They were at an impasse.

  With no winners.

  At work in her home office Saturday morning, she glanced down at the new story line she’d created. In the script, Joshua had colored raw Easter eggs with his crayons and hidden them all over the backyard for his mother to find. He giggled as she searched the shrubbery and flower beds.

  Caitlin’s hand clenched on the charcoal pencil. There hadn’t been many smiles from Joshua for the past couple of days. She wasn’t sure if he was aware that his father would race on Sunday or he was sad because he was completely unable to push his father from his mind. Stephen’s father had been out of town on a business trip when they’d returned two weeks ago. She didn’t know how much his return on Wednesday had affected Joshua.

  Since he traveled so much he spent as much time with Stephen as possible when he was in town. He’d taken the boys to school on Thursday and Friday. This morning they were going to a boat show. Instead of his usual enthusiasm about an outing, Joshua was subdued. She’d considered keeping him home, then decided against it.

  Was she right or fair? She was making Joshua face his fears and uncertainties while she refused to do the same. How could she ask a four-and-a-half-year-old to do what his mother wouldn’t?

  The ringing of the doorbell startled her. It rang again almost immediately. Cameron. She was off the stool and running down the hall. Her heart lurched when she opened the door and saw Diana standing there holding Joshua’s hand.

  “What is it?” Caitlin asked, immediately squatting down to look at him. “Joshua?” When he didn’t answer, she looked back up at her best friend. “Diana, what is it?”

  “Joshua, why don’t you go inside and wait for your mother,” Diana told him.

  Without a word he did as instructed, his head down. Caitlin watched him until he turned down the hall toward his room.

  “Joshua hit Stephen.”

  “What?” Caitlin jerked her head back around. “He wouldn’t do that.”

  Diana touched her arm. “You know I wouldn’t lie to you about something this serious.”

  Caitlin briefly closed her eyes. “What happened?”

  “They were watching cartoons until time to leave for the boat show. Unfortunately Speed Racer came on and Stephen asked about Cameron. When Joshua wouldn’t answer, Stephen kept on asking questions.”

  Caitlin swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d confided in Diana why they had returned. Speed Racer was a cartoon character who fought crime while racing around the world.

  “Bill was in the family room with them, reading the newspaper. He said he was about to tell Stephen to stop when Joshua hit Stephen in the chest. Stephen hit him back. Bill pulled them apart before much else happened. By then both were crying.”

  Caitlin felt horrible. The boys had been close ever since they’d met. “I’m sorry, Diana.”

  “I know. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

  If Dr. Grayson was right, only I can do that. “Thank you. I’m sorry about Stephen.”

  “He’ll be all right. His feelings were hurt more than anything,” Diana said. “He’ll be willing to forgive and forget in a couple of hours.”

  But Joshua wouldn’t. “I better go check on Joshua. Thanks for understanding.”

  Diana hugged Caitlin and stepped back. “Call me if you want to talk.”

  Caitlin closed the door and went down the hall to Joshua’s room. The sight of her son sitting on the side of his bed, his head bowed, his hands held loosely in his lap, tore at her heart.

  Praying she’d find the right words, she crossed the room. Sitting beside him, she drew his small body to hers. “I love you, Joshua.”

  He leaned against her, but he didn’t say anything.

  “I know that things haven’t been easy the last couple of weeks. Mrs. Howard understands that, too. So will Stephen.”

  “He won’t want to play with me anymore,” Joshua said, his voice teary.

  She hugged him tighter. “Yes he will, but you have to apologize and promise not to hit him again.”

  Joshua snuggled closer.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened?

  Joshua stiffened and shook his head.

  Caitlin plunged ahead. Not talking certainly hadn’t helped. “It was about Stephen asking about your father.”

  Joshua abruptly pulled away to stare down at his feet. “May I have some water, please?”

  Gently she took his arms and turned him to her. How do you reason with a frightened four-year-old? “Your father loves you and misses you very much. He wants us to visit.”

  Joshua’s eyes filled with tears. “No. No.”

  “Baby,” Caitlin cried, picking him up and hugging him to her. “It’s all right. It’s all right,” she crooned, well aware that it wasn’t, and the answer lay with her.

  Chapter 19

  Cameron had two of the worst days he’d ever had in racing—and that was saying a lot, he thought as he left the garage for the night and headed for his motor coach. First, number 23 had been cited by the NASCAR officials for being too low to the ground and sent back to the garage. Then, once the car returned, it had to be inspected all over again. He’d just made it in time to qualify. His problems weren’t over.

  Number 23 had been sloppy in the corners, drifting. He’d come in thirty-second and been glad to do that well. The problem—the tie-rod—had been adjusted for tomorrow’s race, but that didn’t make him or his team any less anxious about the outcome. The saying that bad things came in threes wasn’t always wrong.

  Passing though the security gate where his motor coach was parked, he absently spoke to the security guard, his mind still on the race. As Hope had pointed out, no car had ever won at Texas Motor Speedway who had qualified past thirty-first. He wanted to be the first. He wouldn’t if he and his car weren’t at their best. While he had driven his best, racing on a track by yourself to qualify was vastly different than going against forty-two other cars with the same goal of coming in first.

  Bounding up the steps, he opened the door and came to a dead stop. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

  A wide grin transformed his face until he realized that while Caitlin tried to smile it kept slipping. Beside her, Joshua hadn’t lifted his head. He closed his door.

  Looked like the prophetic bad-luck number three wasn’t going to wait until the race tomorrow.

  “Hello, Cameron. I hope you don’t mind us waiting,” Caitlin said brightly, her arm around Joshua’s stooped shoulders.

  “No. Not at all.” He didn’t know what to do, what to say. Obviously Joshua’s feelings hadn’t changed. “Have you eaten?”

  “Yes, thank you. We got something on the way from the airport. The driver of the car Hope sent for us was kind enough to stop,” she explained.

  He’d been about to sit on the edge of the chair farthest away, but straightened abruptly. “Hope knew you were coming?” He couldn’t keep the accusation from his voice.

  “I asked her not to tell you.” Caitlin brushed her hand over Joshua’s head. “I didn’t want to distract you.”

  He still didn’t understand. “I’m glad you’re here, but I have a feeling there is something else going on.”

  Taking Joshua’s hand, she came to her feet. “It’s time for me to help our son get over his fear, and we need your assistance.”

  Cameron could see the fear and uncertainty in her face. He wondered what had happened to change her mind, but sensed finding out would have to wait. “Anything.”

  “We’d like to see your car, if you don’t mind.”

  Cameron couldn’t keep the mixture of surprise, hope, and worry from his face. His concerned gaze flicked to Joshua’s bowed head. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Cameron opened the door. “She’s in the garage. Security will let us pass.”

  Caitlin picked up Joshua. His small arms clamped tightly around her neck. She swept her hand up and down his back in reassurance, then went down the motor coach’s steps. “Mommy’s here, and so is Daddy.”

  Cameron followed, closing the door after them. Laughter, conversation, and music drifted out from the other motor coaches. A few golf carts rumbled by, ferrying individuals around the infield. They didn’t talk as they walked.

  He had so many questions buzzing around in his head, but knew they wouldn’t be answered until he and Caitlin were alone. However, most of all he wanted to touch her, reassure her. Yet he didn’t want to frighten Joshua. He had to content himself with a quick swipe of his hand down her back. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered. Then aloud, “This way.”

  He led her back to the garage. A few people still mingled outside the haulers parked directly in front of the bay for their car, but it was quiet compared to the earlier noise of the engines being readied for the race tomorrow.

  For a brief moment he wished the area wasn’t so well lit. His gut ached at seeing the fear on Caitlin’s face she so desperately was trying to conquer. He had to touch her again, just a brush of his finger down her cheek.