Joshua looked at him as if he couldn’t quite comprehend what he’d just been told.

  Caitlin knew it was time. “He’s your father, Joshua. He’s found you.”

  “You’re my father?” Joshua asked, his voice as unsteady as his father’s had been earlier.

  Cameron swallowed, swallowed again. “Yes, son. I’m sorry it took me so long to find you, but I’m here now and I plan to stay.”

  “Daddy!” The boy launched himself at Cameron, his arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “I knew you’d come! I knew it! I told Mommy you’d find us one day, and you did.”

  Over Joshua’s head, Cameron caught Caitlin’s strained features. If he didn’t miss his guess she was beginning to realize how much she’d deprived Joshua. He knew that with Caitlin’s tender heart, it wouldn’t be easy for her to accept.

  Hefting Joshua up with one arm, Cameron stood and asked, “You about ready to see my race car?”

  “Wow.”

  Cameron smiled. He was fast learning that “wow” was Joshua’s favorite word when he was excited. “Caitlin, do you need to get anything before we leave?”

  “Maybe he should go another day.” She stood as well, her hands curled into tight fists.

  Cameron thought he knew why she was apprehensive. “I’ve already alerted the crew that we’re coming. No practice race is scheduled for today. We’ll have lunch.”

  She was living her greatest fear. How could she save her baby? “He’s probably tired from the trip. Maybe tomorrow.”

  Cameron set Joshua on his feet. “I left my cap on the dresser in my room. Could you please go get it for me?”

  “I’ll get it, Daddy.” Joshua took off running.

  Cameron had to swallow. Daddy. He’d never in his wildest imagination thought Caitlin might be carrying their child. They’d always used protection. As soon as Cameron heard his son’s pounding footsteps on the stairs, he stepped closer to Caitlin. “Today, Caitlin. Putting it off won’t change anything. I want to show Joshua the stock car, introduce him to my crew.”

  “I—”

  “I’m leaving in ten minutes, and when I do Joshua is going to be with me.”

  “I don’t want that life for him,” she said, her voice trembling.

  “That’s not for you to decide.”

  Joshua came running back into the room with the cap. “Here it is, Daddy.”

  Daddy. Emotion clogged his throat again, then laughter escaped. Cameron scooped Joshua up in his arms, took the cap, and put it on his son’s head. “This way I won’t lose it again.

  “You coming?” Cameron asked.

  “I need to work on the strip.” She tried to smile and failed miserably.

  “Thank you.” He knew what it cost her to let her son go without her. She’d walk through hell for Joshua. He didn’t agree with her decision to keep Joshua’s birth a secret, but he knew she had done it out of fear, not malice.

  To let him go without her to a place she feared said a great deal about her love for Joshua. She was putting his needs above her own. She wanted them to have this time together.

  “We’ll be back in time for dinner. I’ll bring takeout.” Cameron promised. Walking over to Caitlin, he leaned Joshua toward her. “Kiss your mother good-bye, and tell her you love her so we can go.”

  Joshua dutifully leaned over, put his arms around his mother’s neck, and kissed her on the cheek. “Good-bye, Mommy. I love you.”

  Her arms clung to Joshua for a moment before she stepped back. “You mind, Ca—your father.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Cameron wished he could get his own hug. Heck, he wanted the kiss as well. “He’s safe with me. He’ll never be out of my sight.”

  “I know,” she said. Her voice trembled, she blinked rapidly.

  He started from the room, then pivoted and came back to her. He didn’t ask, didn’t pause. He simply curved his hand around her neck and brought her lips to his. She gasped in shock, allowing his tongue to thrust inside her, swirl, taste the heady sweetness that was uniquely hers, and maple syrup.

  Joshua’s giggles brought him back to his senses. The kiss had been an impulse, but no less enjoyable. From the flare of desire in her dark eyes, she had enjoyed it as much as he had.

  “You looked as if you needed that.” His gaze narrowed on her moist lips again. “I’d forgotten how—”

  He abruptly stopped. Caitlin’s wide eyes were now fastened on Joshua, who was studying his parents with interest. “We’ll be back by dinner.” This time when he started from the room, he never paused.

  Sean Hilliard had started Hilliard Motorsports Racing team because of his fascination with vintage and racing car restoration. He’d taken a hobby and turned it into a professional NASCAR racing business fifteen years ago. The four-man racing team and their crews were housed in a state-of-the-art forty-five-thousand-square-foot automotive shop.

  The spotlessly clean area was a cornucopia of sounds—the clink of metal against metal, drills, the revving of motors, the good-natured conversation as the men worked on the cars.

  Cameron had always been proud and pleased that he drove for one of the best teams in the business. The other three drivers were having a good year and all were in the top twenty.

  Cameron couldn’t keep the proud grin off his face as he introduced Joshua to his crew as Caitlin’s and his son. There wasn’t a raised eyebrow in the bunch. It had helped that he had called Mike and asked him to share the news with them, but no one else.

  Cameron trusted his crew. They worked hard. They were loyal and a cohesive unit. They had to be to work in sync during race day. A slow or disgruntled team member could cost the driver a race. A driver learned quickly that he couldn’t win the race by himself; it took team effort.

  Most of his crew had been with him when Caitlin left. He’d have a talk later with Hilliard, the three other drivers on his team, and Hope. She’d know how best to handle the media. He didn’t want Joshua or Caitlin ambushed or embarrassed.

  Although NASCAR people were loyal, they were still human. There was going to be talk. He had an idea of how to handle the talk that was bound to come, but he needed Caitlin’s cooperation. For now, it was just him and his son, and he planned on lots of memories.

  “This is my car, Joshua. Number twenty-three.”

  Joshua’s eyes rounded to the size of saucers. His hand reached out to touch the bright purple hood. Frowning, he looked up at his father. “Where are the headlights?”

  Cameron snapped a picture with his camera, then hunkered down. He planned his own memory book. “Besides not having a door, stock cars don’t have head or tail lights, or a speedometer.”

  “Why?” he asked, inspecting the decal headlight.

  “They’re not needed,” Cameron explained. “We race on the track, not the street. Would you like to get inside?”

  “Really? I can?”

  Smiling, Cameron put his newly purchased digital camera on the roof of the car. “I’m going to pick you up. I want you to keep your legs together as you pass through the window.”

  “I will, Daddy. I’ll remember.”

  “I know, son.” Picking Joshua up, he guided him through the window and settled him in the seat. Emotion caused his throat to ache. Swallowing, he grabbed his camera and took another photo to give him time to compose himself. “How do you like it?”

  Joshua’s face was a picture of awe. “Wow.”

  “That about sums up how I feel when I get inside.” Cameron leaned in the window. “The passenger and back seats are taken up with equipment. It’s just you and the car against all the other drivers.”

  “I bet you’re the best.”

  Cameron chuckled. “I’m trying. Let’s get you out of here and I’ll show you the hauler where they keep a spare car.”

  “Wait until I tell Mommy.”

  “Yes,” Cameron said. He could just imagine how that would go over.

  Caitlin was waiting at the front door for Cameron and Joshua when they returned that evening. From her son’s glowing face she could tell he had thoroughly enjoyed himself. Even before he reached her, he was telling her about the wonderful time he’d had with his father. Caitlin tried her best to look pleased instead of anxious as she helped him wash up, then set the table for them to eat the takeout Cameron had brought back.

  Through everything, Joshua kept telling her over and over about his outing. Like an indulgent father, Cameron had looked on proudly.

  “Daddy let me sit in the driver’s seat.

  “You can peel the windshield off if it gets bug splatter or dirty, Daddy said.

  “There is an extra car in the hauler in case Daddy needs one.

  “Daddy says a whole team of people and specialists help to make his car faster.”

  Barely touching her food, Caitlin listened to each excited word and knew that in just a short space of time, Cameron had already carved a permanent place in Joshua’s heart. “Daddy” was peppered into almost every sentence. Cameron’s expression was just as pleased.

  She was relieved when they finished eating dinner and Cameron suggested watching one of the movies he and Joshua had picked up on the way back from the garage—until Joshua dropped a bombshell.

  “Stephen’s mother and father let us watch movies in their bed.” Joshua glanced expectantly between his parents. “We have popcorn. They let me and Stephen climb into the bed with them.”

  “Sounds like fun,” Cameron said. “I have a sixty-one-inch plasma screen in my bedroom.”

  “Yeah!” Joshua shouted.

  “You better take your bath and chance into your pj’s then,” Cameron advised.

  Enthused, Joshua hopped up and down, then caught his mother’s hand. “Come on, Mommy. You have to turn on the water.”

  She cut a weary look at Cameron. “We could watch the TV in the media room and be more comfortable.”

  “It wouldn’t be the same,” Joshua told her, his face solemn.

  It wouldn’t, but it would be safer for her unruly mind and body. She was remembering too much about Cameron’s tempting body, the warmth, the hardness, the pleasure. From his suddenly narrowed eyes, he was remembering the same thing.

  “I might have to search for my pj’s,” Cameron said softly.

  Caitlin recalled too vividly his nude body. Her own traitorous body tingled. “Then we’ll put it off.”

  “No, Mommy,” Joshua pleaded. “I want to do it tonight. Please. It will be another memory for my book.” He looked at his father. “You can take a picture of us, can’t you? Just like the ones you took of us today.”

  “You betcha.”

  Despite her uneasiness, she would enjoy seeing father and son together. It hit her again how much she had deprived Cameron of. She couldn’t deny Joshua. He probably had so many things in his little head that families did, and he wanted to do them all. “All right.”

  “Yeah,” Joshua said.

  Caitlin hurried away, feeling Cameron’s hot gaze on her until she disappeared up the stairs. In Joshua’s room, Caitlin helped him with his bath and into his pajamas.

  “Now it’s your turn,” he told her.

  “What?” Taking her hand he started for her room across the hall. “You have to be in your pajamas, too. Just like Daddy.”

  Cameron happened to be coming down the hallway and heard Joshua. “I was just on my way to find a pair.”

  Caitlin felt her face heat. She didn’t dare look at Cameron. He didn’t wear pajamas, not even in the winter months. His feet were always icy, but once he touched her, started making love to her, she forgot all about his cold feet. The nightgowns she’d worn had ended up on the floor in less that a minute. After making love, they’d sleep naked in each other’s arms. He’d often asked why she bothered with a gown.

  “We can just wear regular clothes,” she suggested. She didn’t know if she could take looking at Cameron’s naked chest again.

  “There is no way I’m not going to do the first thing our son asks us to do as a family.” He leaned down and placed his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Once your mother is in her pajamas, I’ll meet you in the kitchen to fix the popcorn and then we can all climb into my bed and enjoy a movie together as a family.”

  Caitlin was pulled to her room by Joshua, but not before she saw the gleam in Cameron’s eyes. He was enjoying this, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d begin to enjoy them being a family, too.

  “Wait until I tell Stephen I have my own father.”

  Cameron’s throat tightened. He was glad he didn’t have any popcorn in his mouth. Between them on top of the covers, Joshua’s neck had to be hurting because he kept looking from one to the other, grinning, saying things that tore at Cameron’s heart.

  He’d caught Caitlin’s pained expression a couple of times as their son talked of having a father, being like his best friend, Stephen. She hurt for him. Her arm around his slim shoulder, her cheek pressed to his forehead at times, told Cameron as much.

  “Isn’t this fun, Mommy?” Joshua asked.

  “Yes.”

  He dug his little hand into the bowl of popcorn in his lap. “I always knew it would be if my daddy were there instead of Stephen’s.” As soon as he swallowed the popcorn, he continued. “I like Mr. Howard, but it’s not like having my own father, is it, Mommy?”

  She swallowed. “No.” The word had come out rough and raspy.

  Cameron lifted his arm over Joshua’s and swept it over her hair in a soothing gesture, just as he’d done countless times in the past. Her gaze lifted to his. His heart clenched. Her eyes were moist.

  “Caitlin—”

  She shook her head. She didn’t want his sympathy, or maybe it would make the tenuous hold on her composure shatter. Joshua was her world. Unlike Cameron she didn’t have any other family. She wasn’t ready to share him yet.

  She hated that she had deprived Joshua of a father, but no one had to tell him that she hadn’t changed her mind about her dread of Joshua driving one day. Boys liked cars. Cameron had started racing quarter-midgets when he was nine.

  She wasn’t pleased, either, about the attraction between them. He hadn’t been at first until he stopped being angry long enough to realize he still cared about her, wanted her. If he could build on that, bind her to him with sensual pleasures, he could have her and his son.

  If he was able to help her get over her fear. NASCAR was safe. He was more likely to be injured on the way to the race rather than actually racing. But for Caitlin, who had lost her father to racing, and who had seen a fatal accident, it was going to be an uphill battle to convince her.

  “Movie’s over.” Caitlin practically leaped from the bed, tightening the sash of her silk robe. Beneath were matching blue silk pajamas. Cameron knew it had been wishful thinking on his part that she’d wear one of the nothing gowns she’d worn when they were engaged. “Bedtime.”

  Joshua looked up at Cameron instead of getting out of the bed. “Is it all right if I stay in here with you a little while longer, Daddy?”

  There went that knot again. “Sure.” He glanced up, saw the frightened look on Caitlin’s face. “You can stay, too.”

  “I—I need to finish the strip.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll be back to put you to bed, Joshua.”

  Joshua kept his head angled up to Cameron’s. “Daddy can do it.”

  Cameron looked at Caitlin. She blinked several times, then hurried from the room. He wanted to call her back, but what could he say?

  “Tell me about when you were a little baby, Daddy.”

  He smiled down at his son. They had so much to learn about each other. “I was born and raised in Santa Fe. That’s where I met your mother.”

  “Really?” He rose up to his knees. “Did she draw then?”

  “No, she wrote for a newspaper.” He leaned closer. “I’ll tell you a secret, if you don’t tell anyone.”

  Frantically Joshua shook his head. “I won’t.”

  “The first time I saw your mother I thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.” He leaned in closer. “I still do. And you know something else?” Joshua shook his head.

  “This you don’t have to keep a secret. The day I learned I was your father was one of the proudest days of my life. I love you, Joshua. Always know that.”

  Joshua went into his arms, squeezing him tightly. “I love you, too, Daddy.”

  Cameron held on to the solid warmth of his son. With fatherhood came responsibilities. Joshua wouldn’t be happy with just one parent or with them fighting over him. Somehow he had to unite his family.

  In NASCAR racing he was used to coming from behind and winning. Besides the other drivers in his path, there was the unknown he had to contend with. It took grit, nerve, and coordination to be a NASCAR driver. Fatherhood required just as much tenacity on his part.

  He’d win this time as well. It was too important not to.

  Chapter 7

  “Be sensible, Caitlin. He’s just intrigued with having a father. In a few days he’ll be back to being all yours.” Saying the words out loud didn’t lighten Caitlin’s somber mood or her fear of losing Joshua. Right now, Cameron was the big attraction. There was no way for her to compete and win.

  Sitting on the bed with the drafting pad in her lap, her eyes shut tightly, Caitlin clenched the charcoal pencil. Who was she kidding? The second Joshua learned he had a father, he had ceased being just hers. She was having a difficult time accepting that. Even as a child, she’d never liked sharing her toys or her daddy.

  Her eyes opened. She could still visualize him, strong, tall, and always laughing. Except when he and her mother were fighting over his racing. Her mother never went to a race and she forbade Caitlin to attend. He’d defied her once and taken her. He’d won that day, calling her his good-luck charm. Her mother had been waiting for him when he’d returned. Their fight had been the worst ever. And she had been caught in the middle, trying to be loyal to both of the parents she loved.

  The next weekend he’d had his fatal accident. For a long time she blamed herself. If she had been there, perhaps “his luck” would have kept him safe and he would have come home.