“You can do this,” he told her.

  Her smile wobbled, then firmed. Gently she withdrew Joshua’s arms from around her neck and turned him to the car, holding him so he couldn’t turn away. “This is Daddy’s car. It keeps him safe while he does something he loves.”

  “Mommy, I wanna go home.”

  She kissed him on the cheek. “Soon.” Without giving either a chance to object, she handed him to Cameron, then awkwardly holstered herself into number 23.

  “No!” Joshua cried, reaching for her.

  “I’m safe, Joshua,” she said, her heart beating so fast she felt light-headed. “Just as your daddy is safe.” She went over the safety features, her heart steadying as she explained each one just as Cameron had done on the film. Finished, she climbed out, finding it more difficult than getting in.

  As soon as she was on her feet, Joshua cried out for her. Taking him, she kissed him, stroked him. “See, Mommy is fine. Just like Daddy will be tomorrow.”

  “Everything all right, Mr. McBride?” a security guard asked.

  “Yes, thanks,” Cameron told him.

  “Good luck tomorrow,” the man said,

  “Thanks. Things are certainly looking up.”

  The man looked at Caitlin and Joshua, and smiled. “Anytime.” Tipping his hat, the guard returned to his golf cart and drove away.

  “Let’s go see the track.” She started walking in that direction, and felt Cameron’s arm around her waist. She wanted desperately to lean against him. She couldn’t. Not yet.

  They went up the incline leading to the pit road where tomorrow the pit crews would be lined up in preparation for the driver. She didn’t stop until they were off the grassy infield of the track and on the 1.5-mile track. She set Joshua on his feet and took his hand again.

  “Tomorrow Daddy and number twenty-three will compete against forty-two other cars doing what he enjoys, like you enjoy playing on the monkey bars.” She pointed to the grandstands. “People will fill the bleachers and cheer their favorite drivers. Many of them will be cheering for your daddy, just as I’ll be.”

  Cameron, walking beside her, caught her hand and squeezed. “Thank you.”

  “It’s time,” she repeated. She stopped and squatted in front of Joshua. “It’s all right to be scared. I’m scared, but Daddy isn’t. He likes racing and has been racing since he was a few years older than you are now. He told you about it.”

  Joshua tucked in his head.

  Caitlin refused to give up. “You remember how afraid I was when you wanted to roller-skate or go higher on the swing, but I let you anyway because I knew how much you wanted to.” She swept her hand up and down his arm. “We have to be the same when your father races.”

  Joshua kept his head lowered. Caitlin bit her lip, looked up at Cameron. He came down in front of Joshua. His large hand reached out, then he clenched it into a fist and placed it on his thigh.

  “I love you, Joshua. I never want you to be scared of what I do.”

  Joshua finally lifted his head. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “Joshua.” Cameron held his son tightly to him, then away so he could see his face. “I know, but remember how good it felt flying high in that swing? That’s how I feel when I drive. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do as long as I can remember, but not if it makes you not want to be with me.”

  Caitlin gaped. He meant it. He’d give up racing. It was what she wanted or so she had thought. Cameron would never be content doing anything else. Joshua leaned against his father, but didn’t say anything.

  Picking up his son, Cameron curved his free arm around Caitlin’s waist and started toward the motor coach. It felt good to hold them, and he planned to keep on holding them every day from now on. And tonight Caitlin had given him the chance to do just that.

  Once they returned to the motor coach, Cameron released her and searched with one hand through a stack of DVDs. He put one into the player and turned it on. The cartoon movie Happy Feet came on. Joshua turned his head toward the sound, but he remained against his father’s chest.

  Curving his arm back around Caitlin’s waist, Cameron pulled her down on the sofa beside him. “I’m not ready to let either of you go.”

  Caitlin smiled and placed her head on his shoulder. “Good, because we aren’t, either.”

  Less than thirty minutes into the movie, Joshua was asleep in his father’s arms, his face toward Caitlin’s, not the television. The heavy weight on her heart lifted. She hadn’t been sure he would ever willingly want to be held by his father again. “He’s asleep.”

  Cameron twisted his head until their gazes met. “Thank you for giving my son back to me,” Cameron said, his voice thick with emotion.

  “You gave him to me,” she said with a smile.

  He blinked, then laughed softly, then sobered. “I’m glad you’re both here with me.”

  “So am I.” She stood. “Let’s get Joshua to bed.”

  Cameron went with her to the room Joshua had slept in before he left. The night-light that had remained plugged in softly illuminated the small room. Caitlin stepped around him and pulled the covers of the twin bed down.

  “All of his things are still here,” Cameron told her.

  Caitlin went to a built-in dresser for a pair of pajamas. Together they got Joshua ready for bed and under the covers.

  With Cameron’s arm around Caitlin’s waist, they watched their son sleeping peacefully. She had made the right decision to come.

  “I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him in that bed again,” Cameron confessed.

  “Neither was I.”

  Joshua kicked off the covers, rolled from his back to his stomach. His parents reached to tuck the covers at the same time, then smiled at each other before Caitlin adjusted them.

  “I guess this means we can go to bed,” Cameron said, his meaning all too clear.

  “I’ll say good night then.” Smiling, she left the room.

  Stunned, Cameron walked into the hall in time to see her enter the other guest bedroom where she had once stayed. He thought that since Joshua was going to be all right, they would pick up where they had left off—sleeping together.

  Cameron went to the partially opened door. Maybe she expected him to come get her like he had the first time. Indecision held him still, and then he heard the shower running.

  His forehead rested against the door frame. He could imagine Caitlin, naked and wet, beneath the spray. And he was in the hallway.

  “Cameron.”

  His head snapped up. Was he imagining things or had Caitlin called him?

  “Cameron.”

  He was inside the room in an instant. He leaned his head against the bathroom door. “Yes.”

  “I seem to have forgotten to get soap or a washcloth. Would you mind?”

  “I’ll be right back.” Cameron quickly went to his bathroom and grabbed the things Caitlin had requested, then he returned. He was about to knock and tell her he was back, but then had a much better idea.

  Quickly undressing, he picked up the items. The tempting outline of Caitlin’s body showed through the steamed enclosure. His body hardened. “I have the soap and towel.”

  The door opened. Caitlin’s gaze swept from his face to the blatant arousal he didn’t even think of trying to hide with the towel, then back up to his face. “I guess this means you’re joining me?”

  “Caitlin.” He breathed her name and entered the shower. He had just enough presence of mind to put the soap in the dish before pulling Caitlin into his arms. Her skin was wet and felt like warm silk.

  His mouth devoured hers as his hand swept over her, but it wasn’t enough. He lifted her, his mouth fastened on her nipple. She moaned, her fingers clutching his head closer. He suckled one, then the other, loving the taste of her, the cries of pleasure.

  His head lifted. “Wrap you arms and legs around me.”

  As soon as she complied, he pulled his hips away enough to find her center and entered. The fit was perfect. His hips began to move, pumping, grinding. The cries of release came simultaneously.

  Breathing hard, Cameron steadied Caitlin as she stood on her own. Moving them both under the spray, he grabbed the soap, then lathered and bathed them both with his hands before shutting off the water.

  “You’re much better than a washcloth,” Caitlin murmured.

  He kissed her, then reached for the large bath towel on a ledge and dried them off. Finished, he stared down at her. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  Her hand splayed on his broad chest and she stared up at him. “So am I. Now.”

  “We’ll check on Joshua, and then you can tell me.” Cameron went to his room to pull on a pair of jeans while Caitlin opened her suitcase and put on a gown. Hand in hand they went to Joshua’s room.

  “He hasn’t moved,” Caitlin murmured.

  Cameron looked down at her. “You sound surprised and relieved.”

  “I am.” Taking his hand, she went to his bedroom. She climbed onto the bed, still holding his hand. “I need to tell you some things.”

  Sitting with his legs under him, the same way she was, their knees almost touching, Cameron caught her other hand. “Then tell me.”

  She did, ending by telling him about Joshua hitting Stephen. “He was miserable and so scared. I knew I had to stop being frightened if I wanted Joshua to have a normal life with his father.”

  His hand cupped her cheek. “You did it.”

  “I realized something else. I had become my mother. I knew how it ruined her life and mine. I didn’t want that for Joshua or me,” she said softly.

  “You were brave enough to ensure that it won’t. I knew you had it in you,” he told her.

  “It just took a while for me to realize it.”

  “The important thing is that you did.”

  “What if Joshua can’t get past his fears?” she asked. “You can’t quit racing. You’d never be happy doing anything else.”

  “Maybe it won’t come to that,” he said, his face troubled. “We’ll just have to see how Joshua feels in the morning. In the meantime, you better get some rest.” Reaching over, he pulled the covers back enough for her to climb over, then he slid beneath the bedding beside her, pulling her against his chest.

  She didn’t think she would go to sleep. She was too worried about what would happen if Joshua remained afraid. She might not be able to reunite her family after all.

  Chapter 20

  “Get up! Get Up!”

  Caitlin was abruptly awakened by Joshua’s voice, and his bouncing on the bed. Frightened, she sprang up. She must have finally dozed off that morning with Cameron holding her as he had all night, both of them too aware that their time together might be limited.

  “Joshua, what it is?” Cameron rushed from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, shaving cream on one side of his face.

  “Daddy!” Joshua shrieked, scrambling from the bed and running to his father. “I thought you were gone. I wanted to tell you to make sure you wore your helmet and buckle up.”

  Tears welled in Caitlin’s eyes, but thank goodness she was able to see the happiness in Cameron’s face, see him scooping up Joshua to hold him high in the air, hear the delighted giggles of their son. Joshua was giving his father permission to race.

  “I will, son. I will.” Sitting on the bed, Cameron stared at Caitlin. “I’ll have Hope bring you down to the opening ceremonies so you can see me when I get into my car.”

  “Thanks, and then we can stay for the race,” Caitlin said, and waited until his gaze met hers. “Joshua and I plan to be there every second to cheer you on.”

  Sheer happiness spread across his face. “I’d like that.”

  “You’re going to win, Daddy,” Joshua said with complete conviction.

  “I’m going to do my best,” he said. “I have two more very important reasons to race the best of my life. My family will be watching.”

  Caitlin’s heart lurched. Did he want more from their relationship? She prayed so. “Whatever happens, we’ll be proud of you, Cam,” Caitlin told him. “Hope told me you had a problem with number twenty-three during the qualifying trials.”

  He grinned, cocky and sure. “It will just make the race more interesting. I have only thirty-one cars ahead of me, but I’m in a much better position than the eleven behind me.”

  “You gotta get in your suit first, Daddy,” Joshua reminded him.

  Setting Joshua on his feet, Cameron stood. “You’re right, son. You and your mother get dressed. After breakfast we’ll walk over to the hauler and the garage.”

  “Come on, Mommy. We don’t want Daddy to be late.” Joshua grabbed his mother’s hand and pulled her from the bed.

  Grinning over her shoulder, she allowed her son to lead her out of the room.

  Race days were always filled with excitement and an overload of adrenaline, but Cameron couldn’t recall one that compared to this day. The saying that “they did things bigger in Texas” was certainly proving to be true.

  There was a buzz in the air created by the more than 180,000 fans—the largest attended single-day sporting event in the state and among the largest in the country. In terms of vastness, the speedway was large enough to fit eight Texas Stadiums, home of the famed Dallas Cowboys, inside of it.

  Carrying Joshua, with Caitlin beside him, Cameron headed for the garage. Once they arrived, he saw the avid fans armed with cameras and Sharpies, on the hunt for their racing favorites. Media from around the country carried long-lens cameras or video cameras. In the mix were the tours provided to employees or associates by the major sponsors. There was a constant swarm of people in and out of the area.

  Dozens of campers were on the grounds across from the garage and behind the secured infields of the drivers’ motor coaches. Some of the campers had been there since Tuesday to stake out their spot. In the air was the mouthwatering smell of meat cooked on the open grill in front of several haulers, and from the campsites.

  And always the loud roar of the engines split the air, while others were silent as they were pushed to and from the fueling area before inspection. Cars were weighed, fueled, then pushed out of the bay and later onto the grassy infield inside the racetrack. The engine wouldn’t ignite until the driver flicked the switch at the signal from the grand marshal, the mayor of Fort Worth.

  “Wow! Joshua said, his eyes wide as he tried to take everything in.

  Cameron laughed. “I pretty much said the same thing at my first NASCAR race.”

  “I was the same way,” Caitlin replied. “Once the fans catch sight of your father, they’ll swarm him. Joshua, I want you to hold my hand tight.”

  “I remember,” Joshua said. “They wanted your picture and autograph at the airport, and when you signed autographs.”

  “Smart boy.” Cameron set Joshua on his feet at the side door of the hauler. “Only on race day the fans tend to be more intense. So keep close to your mother. I have to check in with Hope and do a commercial for one of my sponsors.”

  “I wanna go!” cried Joshua.

  Caitlin tensed until she realized Joshua wasn’t afraid; he just wanted to follow his father. She caught his hand. “We can watch.”

  “Is that your fan club?” a snide voice asked.

  Cameron’s smile faded as he turned to see Burt Haskell, a sneer on his hard face. It was Cameron’s bad luck that Haskell’s hauler was next to his. He’d never liked the egotistical man who thought winning was everything, and who was known to drive aggressively on the track, bumping cars out of his way. “Hello, Haskell.”

  Haskell’s gaze stayed on Caitlin. “Don’t I know you?”

  “I don’t think so,” Caitlin said.

  His smile was just short of a leer. “Then I’d like to correct my oversight.”

  Cameron stepped in front of Caitlin. NASCAR would suspend him if he threw the punch he wanted to throw. “Was there something you wanted?”

  Haskell folded his arms across his chest and grunted. “I got what I want. The pole, and I’m going to stay in front. You’ll be eating my smoke all afternoon.”

  Cameron flexed his fingers. “Big words. It remains to be seen if you can back them up.”

  “I’ll win this race and then, later, maybe I’ll take something else from you.” Grinning, he turned away.

  Cameron took a step after him, felt Caitlin’s fingers clench on his arm.

  “Show him on the track,” she said. “Don’t give him an easy win.”

  His head snapped around. That was the last thing he expected to hear from her.

  “Put a smile on your face, Cameron. People are watching,” Hope told him as she joined them. “Caitlin, don’t tell me I was wrong to help you.”

  “Not her. Haskell,” Cameron spat.

  “Then show him where it will count the most. On the track,” Hope told him.

  “Caitlin said the same thing,” Cameron said.

  “Smart women think alike.” Hope smiled down at Joshua. “Hi, Joshua. I’ve got a special seat waiting for you in the Speedway Club to watch your daddy the first part of the race. Then later you and your mother can come down here for the final laps.”

  “Wow!” Joshua cried.

  “Thank you, Hope.” Caitlin smiled. “I appreciate all you’ve done for us.”

  “All part of the service.” Her dark eyes narrowed on Cameron. “I know it won’t go unrewarded.”

  “Haskell is dead meat,” Cameron said.

  Hope grinned. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Let’s get this commercial over. I’m ready for the race to begin.”

  “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

  The loud, earsplitting roar of the engines filled the arena. Caitlin pressed her hands to Joshua’s headset to make sure they were in place. “How do your ears feel?”

  Her answer was a quick up-and-down bob of his head, and a struggle to turn around to see the cars on the track. They hadn’t made it to the Speedway Club. The club was above the stands and thus too far away from the track. She needed to be close to the action, close to Cameron. It was important to her that she be there, even though he wouldn’t know it. They ended up on the lookout tower in front of the pit stop with the crew chief, Mike.