Against my better judgment, I asked, “What do you think I’d get from her besides the obvious?”

  She eyed me closely. “A challenge. I think too many women fall at your feet, begging you to pay attention to them.”

  That was true. And it had gotten old, fast.

  “And what do you think I could give her?”

  “Stability.” The answer was quick, decisive.

  I scoffed. “Great. You want me to be a father figure to her?”

  Nana laughed. “No, that would be called incest, and as liberal as I can tend to be, I don’t approve of that.”

  Groaning, I pressed the heel of my hand into my eye.

  “There’s something about that girl, Rhett, that is much older and wiser beyond her years. I think she had to grow up much faster than she should have. I think she’s served as a rock for others, but she’s now on shaky ground.”

  I frowned. “You sound like one of those dime-store psychics.” I yanked my hand back before she could slap it.

  She hmphed instead. “When you get as old as me, you can see those things better. She’s got an old soul about her.”

  “An innocent soul,” I corrected.

  “Does that bother you?”

  Did it? Yes, it did.

  “I don’t want to fuck her life up.”

  Nana reached for my hand, but instead of slapping it, she took it between hers. The hit of emotion attacked my sinuses again.

  “Why do you think you’d do something like that, Rhett?” The question was soft.

  I watched Emery laugh at something Phil Harris asked her and wished I was inside the house so I could hear the musical quality of the sound.

  I closed my eyes.

  Because I wanted to tie little Emery up and make her beg for me to fuck her. I wanted to punish her and watch her skin grow pink from the strike of my hand. Because I wanted to stuff my cock down her throat, holding her head until she gasped for breath. Because I wanted to watch welts rise on her ass from the whip.

  Because I wanted to hold her down and pound into her body, my teeth on her neck, marking her as mine.

  Because I wanted to carry her to my cave and never let her leave. Make her want to stay.

  Because I wanted it with her more than I’d ever wanted it with anyone else.

  Because I didn’t trust myself or my intentions.

  Nana squeezed my hand, and I opened my eyes, admitting out loud for the first time in my life…

  “Because I’m too much like my father.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Emery

  The lights were blinding as I stepped back into their warm path along with the eight women on either side of me.

  This was it. The first elimination.

  My elimination.

  I was both disappointed and relieved.

  I’d given it my best, laughing and smiling for the camera as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I’d answered the — ugh — how did it feel questions.

  How did it feel to be on the show?

  How did it feel living in such an extraordinary home?

  How did it feel to finally get to speak to Rhett for the first time?

  How did it feel to have love as a possibility?

  And my favorite…

  How did it feel that Rhett Hamilton might feel that possibility with me?

  I’d wanted to scream and throw something at the camera’s unblinking eye. How did I feel? It was such a stupid question.

  I felt afraid.

  I felt humiliated.

  I felt alone.

  I felt hopeless and ignorant. Like the small-town-back-hills girl I was.

  But that wasn’t all.

  I felt strangely at home, as if I’d found something I didn’t know I’d been seeking.

  I felt moments of joy sprinkled on top of the mud pie of my life.

  I felt myself longing for something I’d never longed for before.

  I felt weird sensations surge through me.

  I felt jealous when I thought of Rhett hugging those other women.

  I felt breathless and needy when I remembered him hugging me, his hands on my skin.

  I felt powerful and strong, beautiful, and even sexy when he looked at me.

  The layers of contradiction were driving me mad.

  “Action!”

  As Phil Harris walked over to his mark and faced us, resignation was the next thing I felt. It would be over soon, and I’d be left with nothing more than an interesting story and a whole lot of wonder, maybe a pinch of regret. Or a mouthful I’d never fully swallow.

  “Well done, ladies. I hope you enjoyed your short chat with Rhett.”

  Even though it had been a couple hours since those two minutes had come and gone, in the finished product of the show, the viewer would believe it had been only moments ago.

  Phil lifted his eyebrow expectedly, and we all smiled and nodded in agreement. Except the ballerina, probably. I didn’t look over to check, but I was betting her lips hadn’t moved. I wasn’t sure if she was just always that bitchy or if she was terrified of wrinkles, so she never moved her face. A thought hit me. Maybe it was botoxed to the point of full paralysis. This was New York and that very well could have been the case.

  “It’s now time for the most difficult part of The Biggest Catch, the time when Rhett must choose who will remain on his team and who has struck out.” Behind him, Rhett approached and took his place by Phil’s side. “If Rhett calls your name, you’ll step forward to receive your baseball. Rhett… choose your remaining team.”

  Even though I already knew the results, my heart pounded in my chest as Rhett picked up the first ball, his long fingers moving over the red seams.

  “Ladies, I’ve enjoyed our brief time together, but as you know, I can only choose those I felt the strongest immediate connection with. If I don’t choose you, please know that it has absolutely nothing to do with your beauty or charm.” He looked at me. “You’re beautiful and special, and I hope we can part as friends.”

  Tears pricked at my eyes, and I blinked them away, being careful to keep a pleasant expression on my face. The cameras were on, capturing each of our responses to his words. I refused to cry or look defeated even the tiniest bit. In that small way, I wouldn’t give Rhett or this show the satisfaction.

  “Gabrielle.”

  The stunning horse trainer beside me squealed, then stepped forward to take the first baseball from him.

  “Will you remain on my team?” Rhett asked her.

  I couldn’t see her face but could imagine that she was beaming. “Of course.” She took the ball and kissed his cheek before moving over to the winner’s section.

  “Becca.”

  The process repeated itself with the real estate agent. It was followed by Daphne, Vanessa, Amy, Carlie, and Abby. That left only me and the ballerina, Leslie, standing.

  I practiced what I would say to him in my head. It was such a pleasure knowing you. Good luck in the future.

  I might have been going down, but I’d go down with as much grace and dignity as I could muster.

  Rhett picked up the last ball, turning it over and over in his hands. This was it. I was a few seconds from pouring coffee and being the good little gopher I was.

  Seconds passed, and I knew that when the show aired, there would be a commercial filling this space. But this was now, and now was agony.

  Rhett made a face, his forehead tightening into a frown as he tossed the ball from one hand to the other. He did it so hard I wondered if the leather hurt his palm.

  He looked up at me, something like regret playing on his expression.

  I gave him an it’s okay smile, and he exhaled, his eyes continuing to rest on my face.

  “Emery.”

  I turned to the ballerina to congratulate her, then it hit me. He’d called my name. My name.

  Was he confused?

  Did he mean to say Leslie and said my name instead?

  I stood there, unsure of what to do.

  He smiled and held out the ball. “Emery, will you remain on my team?”

  I was frozen. Mr. O’Dell and the crew seemed frozen as well.

  But Leslie wasn’t.

  She marched forward and knocked the ball out of his hand, then tried to kick the much bigger man in the shin. Rhett managed to avoid the pointy stiletto, his eyes comically large as he jumped backward.

  “Fine,” Leslie spat in a haughty voice that matched the rest of her. “You want trashy little whores? You’ve selected well.”

  She spun on her heel and strode off, her shoulders back, her fingers pointed in that graceful way of ballerinas.

  I waited for Mr. O’Dell to call “cut,” but the cameras kept rolling. Finally, Rhett was the first to move. He walked over to where the ball lay, bent, and picked it up. Wiping it off on the material of what had to be a twenty-thousand-dollar suit, he headed my way.

  Standing in front of me, he held it out. “Will you remain on my team?”

  I studied his face, his eyes.

  Was he pleading with me to do so? That was what his appealing expression told me.

  But what did I know?

  I was a small-town girl who’d been secluded by the safety of friendship for many years. Men hadn’t hit on me. Not with a man of Ryan’s size at my side.

  I didn’t understand the nuances of flirting, not with any real experience anyway.

  Heavily aware that at least one camera was zoomed in closely on my face, I gave him a small smile and reached out for the ball.

  “Only if I can be the pitcher.”

  Rhett’s eyes glowed as he threw his head back and laughed.

  ***

  “Cut!”

  Mayhem ensued the second the word was announced, and O’Dell marched over to us.

  “That was brilliant,” he cried. “It wasn’t in the plans, and it will cost me a whole ton of work. We might run behind schedule, but it was brill-iant.” He scratched his chin, then held up a finger. “We’re not going to delete the Naomi drama after all. Instead, we’re going to broadcast the show the way it has unfolded to this point. This is a reality show, and that’s been our reality so far. The viewers will love it. The twists. The turns.” He snapped his fingers. “I couldn’t have planned it better myself.”

  We all just stared at him.

  The director threw his hands in the air. “Executive meeting in ten minutes, main dining hall. We need to rework the schedule.”

  “Mr. O’Dell—” I began, then clamped my mouth shut as he turned to me.

  “You’ll need to move into the main house. You can take Naomi’s room.”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Juliette’s lower lip stick out, but she was doing a silent little golf clap as well. When I looked over at her, she gave me a thumbs-up. This is awesome, she mouthed.

  O’Dell pointed at me. “You’ll need wardrobe, and we’ll need reaction and get-to-know-me video roll.” He scrubbed his face with both hands. “Don’t worry. We’ll work it out.” Then he was off, yelling instructions to people who went scurrying in different directions.

  My paralysis broke, and I shook my head as I gazed up at Rhett. “Why’d you do that?”

  He grinned. “Because if I had to look at the woman’s hateful face another second, I would’ve lost my mind.”

  Oh.

  I shoved down the disappointment of his answer and recovered quickly. “She was a total witch. I can’t believe she even agreed to be on the show to begin with.” I took a step back. “Well, I better go. I’ve got to move my things over, it seems.”

  He reached out and stopped me, his fingers nearly encircling my bicep completely. “Will you be working out again tonight?”

  I’d asked myself that same question earlier. I hedged. “No shoes, remember?”

  His pupils grew larger, the reddish circle almost brighter. “Come to my room and get them.”

  My stomach twisted. “Are you holding them hostage?”

  His face grew even more serious. “Come to my room.”

  I shifted from one foot to the other, pressing my thighs together. My vagina clearly had its own opinion about what I should do. “I think it’s against the rules.”

  His thumb stroked my skin, sending a shiver through me. “Come to my room.”

  Our eyes held and everything around us faded. The atmospheric pressure of the universe grew heavier as we looked at each other.

  “Rhett!” A woman’s voice was like a sledgehammer in the space between us. Carlie, Vanessa, and Abby came striding up. Carlie grabbed Rhett’s arm, rubbing her enormous breast on the fine material of his sleeve. “When do we get our turn?”

  The spell was broken, and I took a step back as the other women surrounded him.

  Which seemed to be a good enough metaphor as any.

  Turning, I found Juliette and headed her way. She hooked an arm through mine, saying nothing until we were out of earshot of anyone else.

  “He really likes you,” she said, not breaking stride.

  “Only because I just saved him from the Wicked Ballerina of the West.”

  Juliette laughed, but it held a short, unconvinced sound that was a little more elegant than a snort. “Didn’t you see how he looked at you?”

  “Yeah. The exact same way he looked at everyone else.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did too.”

  “Did not. I was there, Emery. Front and center. I watched him on the screen. I saw him change his mind a hundred times. He—”

  “See! If he really liked me, he wouldn’t have struggled so much. It’s a stupid show, Juliette. Even he said he wasn’t looking for love, that he didn’t believe in it. He’s here because he got suckered into doing it, and it gives him nine easy lays. The women are here to make a buck and probably get laid too. Not me. No thank you.”

  We made it to the guesthouse and paused the conversation until we got to our room.

  I yanked a suitcase from the closet, but first, I had to get out of this dress. Finding a pair of dark leggings and sweatshirt, I stalked into the bathroom and faced my reflection for the first time in hours.

  Who was the woman staring back at me?

  “Wow.”

  Juliette stepped inside too. “Wow what?”

  I pointed at the mirror. “That’s me?”

  She chuckled. “If it’s not, I’m out of here.”

  I turned around, looking at the back of the dress. There was no back to speak of, and it was a miracle my butt crack didn’t show, it dipped so low. I faced myself again. Juliette had done a wonderful job on my face. My eyes were a little smoky, but the rest of the makeup was neutral with a hint of pink giving me a rosy glow.

  My hair, normally pulled back into a braid or piled on top of my head in a messy bun, cascaded around me, long waves of chestnut flowing over my shoulders.

  The front of the dress was a deep vee that would have been revealing on anyone but me. With no cleavage to speak of, it created a mixture of elegance and subtle sexiness I didn’t know I possessed.

  Come to my room.

  I shivered at the memory of Rhett’s invitation, the look in his eyes as he said the words.

  Juliette stepped up behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Now, do you see what he saw in you? Why he gave you that ball?”

  Meeting her eyes in the mirror, I nodded. “Thank you. I’m going to miss being your roomie so much. How will I ever get through these days without you?”

  She squeezed my shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere. You can always come slumming over here anytime you want. I’ll see you every day. Come on…” she headed toward the bedroom, “we need to get you packed.”

  Watching my reflection, I slipped the straps from my shoulders, wishing it was Rhett’s long fingers pushing the material off, his hands cupping my breasts, playing with the nipples, then moving lower to the place where I ached.

  Come to my room.

  Closing my eyes against the fantasy, I turned away from the mirror and pulled on the leggings, then yanked a tank top over my head, followed by the bulky sweatshirt. Grabbing an elastic, I gathered my hair and wound it until it was piled on top of my head before securing the mess there.

  Finding a makeup wipe, I scrubbed my face until it was completely nude. Finished, I stepped back and looked in the mirror again. There. That was the Emery I recognized. That Emery was familiar. That Emery knew her place in the world.

  And right now, that Emery needed to be packing so that she could play princess for a little bit longer before figuring out what she needed to do for the rest of her life.

  And that Emery needed to stop thinking about herself in the third person. Gah.

  With a groan, I gathered my toiletries and stuffed them into their case, being careful that the lids were all on tight.

  Come to my room.

  That voice. Those eyes. The feel of his thumb caressing my skin.

  Stepping back to my suitcase on the bed, I looked over at my friend who was going through one of her many makeup cases. “Juliette…” I didn’t even know how to ask the question.

  She looked up. “What?”

  “I’ve watched other reality shows, and the guy ends up sleeping with most if not all of the women. If he approaches me, what should I do?”

  She grinned. “Jump on his dick, dingdong.”

  I didn’t laugh, and her grin faded away. “Are you sure?”

  “Aren’t you even curious?” Juliette asked.

  I gathered my socks and placed them carefully in their correct corner of the suitcase. “Curious about what?”

  She flopped down on the bed. “You know, being with someone like him. Older. More experienced.”

  My vagina squeezed, sending a thrill of pleasure through me. That part of my body was certainly interested.

  “Yeah, I guess so, but don’t you think it would be kind of humiliating to be one in a long line of his conquests?”

  She sat up until she was leaning on her elbows. “Welcome to the twenty-first century. It’s all about being one in a long line of conquests. It’s called dating, duh. You know, trying people on to see if they fit, discarding the ones who don’t.”

  I patted my heart. “How romantic.”

  Juliette snorted. “Don’t be a nerd. How long has it been since you’ve been laid anyway?”