“I want to see the video.”

  No, that wasn’t true. I didn’t want to see it, I needed to see it. I needed to be able to look at the video and then tell everyone how stupid they were. No way in hell was that Eliana. They were all wrong.

  With a deep sigh, Katrina pulled out her phone and tapped the screen a few times. She handed it to me, and my heart was beating like a sledgehammer in my chest. As the video loaded, I read the headline: “Beast of First Base Kane Steele’s Fiancée Caught Cheating.”

  Then it was there.

  A woman was naked on the bed, her breasts rocking on her chest as a man thrust in and out of her. She was gripping the sheets, her body arched in pleasure.

  The lily-white skin.

  The freckles.

  The breasts just big enough to fill my hand.

  Strawberry blonde hair.

  Pert nose, full lips.

  As I watched, the woman cried out as the man thrust harder, his hands holding her legs up over his arms. I couldn’t see his face, or even his head for that matter.

  All I could see was her.

  Eliana.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Eliana

  “What is taking him so long?” Nana complained and wandered over to the glass to look out at the field. I had been wondering the same thing.

  I looked at my phone. Only twenty minutes had passed. In prior games, Kane had wanted us to wait in the suite for him. He would deal with the press, get changed, and come find us.

  But it did seem to be taking a little bit longer than normal. Now, it was only me, Zoe, Marsha, and Nana. Everyone else had already left.

  Stepping over to the beverage bar, I pulled a bottle of tea from the ice. Twisting the top off, I took a long drink. Not nearly as good as Mamaw’s. Of course, nothing was as good as what Mamaw used to make. Biscuits and gravy, corn bread and fried potatoes, and blackberry cobbler that would make your tongue cry in appreciation. And sweet tea was always in the refrigerator, little lemon wedges precut in a bowl.

  “Look, Kane is on TV,” Zoe said and pointed at one of the many large screens sprinkled around the room. She had been flipping through the channels as she waited, and I thought it was curious that he was on something other than ESPN.

  “Turn it up,” I told her then groaned when the show cut to commercial. I watched a happy woman cleaning her toilet, and a happy woman walking along the beach, thrilled that she’d gotten her period. Another happy woman was feeding her happy children. The following commercial showed someone else feeding her happy cat.

  “Geez, would you like a bit of news with your commercial,” Zoe muttered, and I nodded in agreement.

  Finally, the show was back on. It was one of those entertainment news shows with a beautiful woman and a beautiful man facing the camera.

  “Welcome back to E-Behind the Scenes where you’ll get the latest on the hottest celebrities,” the woman said.

  The man jumped in. “And tonight, we have the hottest of the hot. The New York Beasts are new to the MLB, but they are making quite a reputation for themselves off the field.”

  “That’s right, Jeff. And tonight, we have exclusive footage and breaking news about the beast of first base, Kane Steele.”

  My stomach was churning. Oh no. Was this about the porn star? I glanced over to Marsha and Nana to see if they were watching. They were.

  “Zoe, I think you should turn this off,” I whispered.

  Just as Zoe raised the remote, a picture appeared on the screen behind the “news” anchors. I gasped, recognizing the person immediately.

  Me.

  But it wasn’t a picture I’d ever seen before. It was a close-up of my face, and I looked… orgasmic.

  “Kane Steele was recently engaged to Eliana Anderson, daughter of former model and soap opera star Alize Montgomery. E-Behind the Scenes learned today that, even though the ring was only recently slipped on Miss Anderson’s finger, she has already been caught cheating on the baseball player.”

  With some kind of computer magic, the image expanded, my face growing smaller as more and more of my body filled the screen. I jumped to my feet, the tea spilling to the floor.

  “No,” I breathed.

  But it was. By the time the picture stopped moving, it showed me lying on a bed, naked, although my breasts were blurred. My head was thrown back, my mouth open, my hands gripping the sheets as a man stood between my naked thighs, clearly having sex with me.

  “Earlier today, a video of Miss Anderson hit the internet and has gone viral in a very short time.”

  I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

  “That’s right, Amy. This image was a screen grab from the video, and although we don’t yet know who Miss Anderson’s lover is, we’ll continue to get the scoop and report back with the latest.”

  The woman flashed a brilliant smile. “You bet we will, Jeff, because we know you want to know what is happening behind the scenes. And in other news…”

  My picture began to fade as they speculated as to whether a famous actress was just bloated or was sporting a baby bump. Although I heard each word, it was as if they were echoing around me from within a tunnel.

  Gentle hands touched my arm. “Eliana, I’m so sorry.”

  I couldn’t respond. Only stare.

  Video.

  Did they say there was a video? A viral video?

  “Phone. I need my phone.”

  On numb legs, I turned, my gaze landing first on a stricken Marsha, then on a stricken Nana before my eyes landed on my purse. Zoe seemed to break from her own paralysis and ran to my bag, scrounging through it for several seconds before coming up with my device.

  “Are you sure you want to see this?” she asked in a low voice.

  I didn’t respond, just slid my thumb across the screen. A few taps of the keyboard later, and there it was.

  Nearly two million views now, I thought distantly as I watched myself have sex with the football player I dated in college for several weeks. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew it was him. We were in his dorm room. I recognized the blue blanket and the line of footballs on the headboard, the poster on the wall. The blue curtains.

  But… there had never been a camera. I would have never allowed such a thing.

  Yet there had been, that much was clear.

  I tried to remember the layout of his room. From that angle, the camera must have been on his desk, I thought somewhat distantly — like I was some detective trying to puzzle out a crime scene.

  “I didn’t know…”

  Zoe wrapped an arm around my shoulders, gripping me harder as I tilted backward just a bit. I felt dizzy, off-center. I locked my knees to keep from falling and forced myself to take deep, calming breaths.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw the door open. I didn’t even need to look that way to know it was Kane. I could feel him enter the room.

  Silence.

  No one spoke. If anyone was breathing, I couldn’t hear it.

  “Mom, Nana, I’ll take you to your place,” Kane finally said, his voice low. “Zoe, can you see Eliana home?”

  No one moved.

  “Kane Bartholomew Steele,” Nana snapped, breaking the tension that had grown to unbearable levels. “You’ll do no such thing. You will see Eliana home, and Zoe will go back with us. We have plenty of room.”

  Everyone seemed to begin moving at once, except for me. Except for Kane.

  Zoe’s soft lips brushed my cheek. “Everything will be fine, I promise.”

  Marsha, still looking stricken, came to stand in front of me. “Eliana, did you cheat on Kane?”

  Mutely, I just shook my head.

  She nodded. “Did you know you were being recorded?”

  I shook it again.

  Marsha sighed and gripped my hand. “That’s what I thought. We will hire the best lawyers and the best investigators, don’t you worry.” She too brushed my cheek with her lips. “I’ve not known you long, but I already think of you as a daughter. We’ll get through this somehow.”

  Nana was next. She no longer looked stricken, she looked mad as hell. “Damn straight we’ll hire the best, and we’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t you worry. You keep your chin up. You did nothing wrong besides do what comes natural with someone you thought you could trust.” She hmphed. “It’s a good thing they didn’t have those little spy camera things back in my days. Or the internet. People could get away with a lot more back then.” She winked. “Believe me.”

  The ice around my heart cracked just a little.

  A few moments later, she was wagging her finger under Kane’s nose, muttering something I couldn’t hear. Then they were gone, and the silence stretched again.

  “I’m sorry.”

  It was the only thing I could say, but it wasn’t enough.

  He pressed his hands into his temples, his fingers digging into his hair. “I’m sorry too. That this happened to you. I—”

  A light tap on the door interrupted him. It cracked open and Katrina Delaney poked her head in. “Sorry to bother you.”

  Kane nodded, and I just stared, realizing this was another person who had seen my body. Watched me, heard me having a sexual experience that should have been private.

  Shame washed over me as the violation of what just happened hit, and I began to shake. The tears that had stayed at bay broke through the dam, sending a river down my cheeks. Katrina stepped into the room quickly, closing the door behind her and flipping the lock.

  “Eliana, I’m so very sorry,” she said as I sank into a chair, “but you need to know that another video has just been released. It appears to be the same man, same room.”

  Kane cursed and turned to face the other way. I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t have been able to look at me either. I didn’t even flinch when he punched the wall.

  I held out my hand, and Katrina stepped closer, placing her phone in my palm. The video was already cued. All I had to do was tap the button. I took a deep breath and did.

  It was me again, totally naked sitting on the same bed with the same footballs in the background. I was giving Brett, the football player, head. Again, he was only visible from the neck down, but my entire profile was on view for the world to see.

  “Oh, Eliana, you’re so good. Don’t stop. It’s incredible.”

  I remembered his voice. I remembered how it felt to have someone so handsome and popular pay attention to me. I remembered how hard I’d tried to please him.

  And there I was, trying to please him, although to someone who wasn’t inside my head at that time, I only looked like another girl gone wild.

  I handed the phone back, unable to watch anymore. Katrina sat down beside me. “I’m so sorry.”

  Licking my dry lips, I finally found my voice. Maybe it was because she was a virtual stranger, I found it easier to talk to her.

  “I’ve only been with three men in my life. My high school boyfriend, Kane, and…” I nodded toward the phone, “him. We dated for a short time my senior year of college. I…”

  The horror of what just happened strangled me, closing my throat in a death grip. My life as I’d known it was over. No matter how good I’d been in the past or how good I planned to be in the future, today would define me in a way I could never defend.

  Then Kane was there, cupping the sides of my face in his strong hands, forcing me to look up at him. “Baby, breathe. I need you to breathe.”

  I tried to inhale, but my lungs wouldn’t inflate, not even a sip of precious air.

  “Look at me. See me, Eliana. I’m here. I’m not leaving. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

  His beautiful green eyes became my focal point, and in their depths, I attempted to draw strength. As he continued to talk, my lungs loosened and blessed oxygen began to seep through.

  “Why did this happen?” I asked, the thoughts finally finding a voice.

  As if waking from a deep sleep, feeling began to return to my limbs, and my entire body began to hurt. At the same time, I felt a deep exhaustion climbing through my nervous system.

  “I don’t know, but we’ll find out. Right now, let’s focus on what you can control. Your breath, baby. Breathe.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in. Maybe this was a dream. No, a nightmare. Both. I kept my eyes closed, unwilling to allow the light of day inside my head to sort everything out.

  Katrina took my hand and squeezed. “Kane is right. Focus on what you can control right now.”

  Opening my eyes, I looked over at her and my vision blurred as I saw the compassion on her kind face.

  “Please tell me this is a dream,” I said, clinging to hope. Her face fell, giving me my answer.

  “What can I do for you?” she asked. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  Without giving me time to answer, she stood and headed to the beverage bar and was back with another tea. Kane took it from her and twisted off the lid before putting up to my lips.

  The icy drink felt wonderful on my raw throat, and I drank it thirstily. Kane smiled. “Better?”

  I nodded. I really wasn’t, but from this moment forward, I was going to fake it the best I could.

  “I hate to tell you this, but—”

  “If you tell me there’s another video, I think I’ll explode.”

  Her smile was gentle. “No, I was going to tell you that the press is at every entrance. When you’re ready to go, I’ll have security help you get out.”

  I shot to my feet. “I’m ready. I’d like to go now, if that’s okay.”

  She nodded. “Sure. I’ll meet you at the player’s exit. Do you have a car?”

  Kane jangled his keys.

  Katrina gave us both a stiff smile. “Give me five minutes.”

  Precisely five minutes later, I was tucked against Kane’s side as security paved a path through a sea of microphones and cameras.

  “Kane, did you know prior to today about your fiancée’s infidelities?”

  “Eliana, who is the man in the video?”

  “Kane, do you two still plan to get married?”

  “Eliana, how did seeing the video make you feel?”

  When the door of Kane’s Land Rover closed, creating a barrier to the questions, all I could do was slump into the seat. At Kane’s building, we were mercifully allowed to park inside the lot although there were reporters and cameras that the parking attendant was doing his best to keep on the sidewalk.

  In his apartment, Kane led me down the hall and to the bathroom, turning on all the shower heads at full blast.

  “Thank you,” I told him.

  A part of me wished he would join me, waited for him to do so, but he only nodded. “Take your time. I… I need to go out for a while.”

  Before I could nod or even beg him to stay, he was gone. I sank to the floor and cried.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Kane

  I felt like a total shit the second I shut the door, but I needed to think, get my head on straight. Seeing that video tripped every emotional wire, and Eliana didn’t need to be around when everything inside me exploded. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to survive the shrapnel of my fury-sadness-pain-jealousy-doubt-fear if that happened.

  Skipping the elevator, I headed to the stairs, needing my feet to keep moving. Jogging down, I examined each of those emotions. Maybe giving them separate clarity would help.

  Fury was easy. Eliana’s face as she watched the video. The betrayal and embarrassment, the horror, of knowing that millions of people would see her naked body, her most intimate moments. I wanted to kill the man who’d done that to her, but doing so wouldn’t stop the spread of the video. I felt helpless. Impotent. For a man like me, not being able to control something, fix it, was beyond disturbing.

  Sadness was also easy. Watching the woman I cared so much about so devastated broke me. Her face. Her eyes. Her body language. The way she seemed to shrink in her skin. She’d held up amazingly well. Tears, yes, but not the hysteria many women would have succumbed to. The silent crying was actually worse than if she’d been the one to punch the wall, to kick and scream and wail at the top of her lungs. That I could have handled. The river of silent agony was heartbreaking to witness.

  Pain. Sharp knives of it clawed at my throat, chest, stomach. Heart. And it wasn’t only in response to her pain. Watching her in full color be fucked by another man was a kick in the gut. I knew she wasn’t a virgin when she met me. I didn’t expect her to be or judge her because she wasn’t. Hell, I’d had many women since popping my cherry when I was only fifteen years old. But knowing Eliana had slept with other men, and seeing it happen… Christ, the pain was agonizing.

  Yes, I was jealous. The dude was stacked, and he seemed to be pleasing her. If he wasn’t, she was a damn fine actress, which made me wonder if she was acting with me too. No. I knew she wasn’t. Surely I would have felt it. I would’ve known it, right? Which led to…

  Doubt. Was Eliana who I thought she was? Had she only slept with two other guys before? Had she been telling the truth, did she not know she was being filmed? Or was she more like her mother than… no. I refused to finish that thought.

  My lungs were burning as I burst through the parking level door and headed to the Land Rover. It sensed my presence and opened automatically. Within seconds, the engine was roaring to life, and I was squealing the tires through the exit.

  Fear.

  That was the emotion that had me by the balls. I wasn’t used to being afraid, but I was now. I didn’t want to lose Eliana. Somewhere between the time I bumped into her in that alley and now, she’d smiled and laughed her way into my heart. No, it was deeper than that. She was in every cell. I breathed her in and out of my lungs.

  I loved her.

  I gripped the steering wheel tighter. In a few short weeks, I’d fallen in love.

  The rage was back, and I slammed my fist in the Rover’s dash, over and over and over. I needed out of this enclosed space before I ran myself into a wall. Pulling into a parking space, I thumbed some coins in the slot and began to run.