She was right. My gut told me that too.

  “Look, we’ll get there as soon as we can. We’re upstate, and it might take an hour or so. Stay put until we arrive.”

  Disconnecting the call, I dropped my head in my hand, wondering what I should do. I could make the payment and see if they go away. If they didn’t, I could then tell them to suck my balls and deal with the video scandal after that.

  Or…

  I was distracted by the sound of the front door opening, followed by the squeak of rubber-soled shoes on the marble. And then a… bleat?

  Picking up the email from the printer, I launched myself from my desk chair and headed out of the office.

  A woman screamed when I rounded the corner. Then her hand flew to her heart. “Mr. Steele, I wasn’t expecting you here today.”

  It was one of the housekeepers who came to clean up what little mess I made throughout the week. “Sorry to scare you, Jan. I’m lame so had to stay home. Forgot you were coming today or I’d have let you know.”

  The bleat came again. I looked down. In her other hand was a baby carrier, the top up and a blue blanket peeking out.

  “So sorry, Mr. Steele. Dustin was sick this morning and couldn’t go to daycare. Since I didn’t think you were home, I thought… I…” The poor woman looked like she was going to break down into tears.

  “No, it’s fine. Bring him anytime. Really.” Stepping closer, I got a better look at the little guy. The moment he saw me, his chubby hands waved up and down, and a broad grin spread across his toothless face.

  I was becoming a sap.

  Eliana was turning me into a lovemaking, baby thinking, marrying forever and ever love struck fool.

  I surprised myself when I asked, “Can I hold him?”

  Jan blinked. “Yes, of course.”

  As she unbuckled him, I folded the paper and laid it on a nearby table and tried to remember when I’d last held a baby. I didn’t yet have any nieces or nephews. A cousin at a family barbecue a few years ago, maybe. A few minutes with Ace’s kid sitting on my lap. That was it. I was practically a baby virgin, yet here I was reaching for this toothless, grinning bundle of blue.

  “Hi, big guy,” I said as I held him in a death grip. His head looked steady enough as he tilted it up to look at me. I knew that much — protect the head at all costs — but he was doing a good job on his own.

  Jan was still standing there, looking unsure as to what to do.

  “Go ahead and do whatever you need to. Dustin and I will be fine. In fact, he’ll be a good distraction.” As I worry and wait for two hours to tick by.

  Her fingers twisted and I wondered if I was holding him wrong. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be an—”

  “Sure, I’m sure. I’ve been going a little stir crazy, so it’s good to have something to do. If we need anything…” like a diaper change, “…I’ll yell.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Steele. I promise to be quick.” She practically ran to the kitchen.

  I turned Dustin until his back was to my front and he could see the world in front of him as I walked to the wall of glass. He leaned forward, his sticky little fingers slapping the glass as he kicked and cooed in my arms.

  “You like the big city?” I asked him, and he kicked harder and passed a few shots of gas that rumbled against the hand holding his butt.

  Whew. How in holy hell did something so foul come from something so little? The fart must have gone straight up the back of his diaper and into my sinus cavity. My eyes watered. I could taste it.

  Moving us away from the stench by the glass, I blinked a few times to clear my vision. Dustin chortled. “Yeah, farts are funny. Always have been, always will be.”

  He chortled again.

  Tick. Tick. Tick.

  Where was Eliana?

  And the feds?

  An hour passed, and Dustin and I were watching baseball when Jan came in to check on us. “He’ll probably be hungry soon,” she said.

  Sure enough, as if the word had poked a hole in his stomach, the baby started to howl. Jan flinched and ran to the diaper bag. I watched intently as she poured a packet of powder into some water and gave the bottle a shake.

  “I’ll take him,” she said, stepping closer, her arms outstretched.

  I stretched mine out in return. “I’ll do it while you finish up.”

  She looked dubious but hesitantly handed me the bottle and a cloth that I stuck under his chin. See, I was a natural. The baby quietened immediately when I stuck the nipple in his mouth.

  The bottle nipple made me think of Eliana’s nipples and how purple they’d become under those clamps. The marks on her breasts. Her screams of bliss-filled agony as she came.

  Growing aroused, I was mortified that I was having those thoughts around an innocent child. I turned my focus back on the game, a rerun of my last one. I pointed at the screen when I took the plate. “See there, that’s me. When you grow up, I’ll teach you how to play baseball too.”

  No, I wouldn’t, I realized.

  By the time this kid was old enough, I’d be in California, stuck behind a desk. The thought was depressing.

  “Do you know how to burp a baby?” Jan asked from the hallway.

  I had zero idea.

  Handing him over to her, I watched as she expertly flipped him up to her shoulder. A few pats later, a belch echoed around the living room. Easy enough.

  She handed him back, and he went to work on the rest of the bottle. As he got full, his eyelids began to blink more heavily, his eyes occasionally rolling back into his head. When the bottle was sucked dry, I eased him onto my shoulder and began to pat. Burp! I could have shouted at my sense of accomplishment.

  But I stayed quiet and laid him back down in my arms, propping my elbow up on a pillow. He smiled and blinked sleepily at me. When he closed his eyes for good, I closed mine too and…

  ***

  Woke, startled, and freaking burning up. I looked down, and the baby was still in the crook of my arm, heat coming off him in waves. Was that normal?

  “Jan!”

  Moving, I turned Dustin until he was off my chest. Maybe it was me who’d gotten him too warm. Eliana said I was like an oven. He didn’t wake as I laid him in my lap and pulled the blanket off. His face was red, and when I touched him again, he still felt very hot.

  “Jan!”

  Dustin startled when I yelled, his arms springing out in surprise. He opened his eyes to look up at me, then they rolled back into his head, and he began to shake. Holy fuck, he was having a seizure.

  “Jan!!”

  I turned him onto his side and stuck my finger into his mouth to hold down his tongue. At least that’s what I thought I needed to do. I wasn’t sure.

  “Jan!!!”

  Even though he didn’t have teeth, his gums closed down on my finger hard. I didn’t care. I just needed this to stop, for him to be okay.

  “Jan!!!!”

  The housekeeper came running, skidding to a halt, yellow gloves on up to her elbows. “Oh my god, what’s wrong?”

  “Seizure. Call 911.”

  The gloves were off, and she was flying to the phone. By then, the grip on my finger was relaxing, and the shaking was slowing.

  I could hear her yelling into the phone, giving the dispatcher my apartment number and address. She was crying so hard, I didn’t think they could hear her. I waved her to come over and stay with the baby while I took over.

  Fifteen minutes later, paramedics came rushing into the door. By then, Dustin was sleeping again. Still hot, but no longer shaking.

  “Probably febrile seizures brought on by a high temperature. Has he seen a doctor?”

  Jan shook her head. “He was only running a little temperature this morning, just enough to not go to daycare. I brought him to work with me and…” she shook her head again, “he seemed fine.” She looked up at me, her eyes pleading for me to agree. To not accuse her of being a bad mother.

  I did agree, and I told the paramedics so. “He was happy. I played with him, fed him. He went to sleep and bam, the seizure hit.”

  The paramedic nodded. “In babies, fevers can spike, and things can happen fast. But we’ll take him in to make sure there’s nothing else going on.”

  As they strapped Dustin on the stretcher, I pulled Jan aside. “Do you have insurance?”

  Her eyes welled with fresh tears. “Yes, but the co-pay for an emergency visit is…” she shook her head miserably.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll drive you to the hospital and sign as the guarantor. They can bill me any balance. I’ll take care of it.”

  As I closed the door behind us, Jan was still thanking me, and I was still telling her to stop.

  Taking a deep breath, I glanced at that folded piece of paper.

  Fuck it.

  Right now, I had a frightened mother to get to the hospital.

  Eliana and I would deal with the video fallout later.

  Together.

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  Eliana

  Bruno was being a bigger little shit than normal. The elderly Chihuahua had already nipped me twice, although he hadn’t drawn blood. To be fair, he wasn’t normally a morning dog. Mr. Lancaster and Bruno were heading out on vacation tomorrow, and the stinky fella needed a sprucing up for the trip.

  I stuffed another treat into the demon’s mouth so I could trim his front nails without having to leash his head too high. It was easier that way, but it sometimes frightened the dogs, especially the little nervous yippy ones I hadn’t built up a trusting relationship with, like this one

  “All done,” I promised the dog and then stretched my back. I was eager to leave and feed my other babies. I was later than normal because of Bruno’s vacation emergency. I should have gotten up earlier and made my rounds, but it was too good waking next to Kane and then making slow, sleepy love for an hour.

  The bell over the door jingled, and Mr. Lancaster stepped in, and the little dog’s entire body trembled with anticipation.

  “Was he a good boy for you, Eliana?”

  I smiled and lied through my teeth. “The best. His glands looked much better.”

  Mr. Lancaster beamed at me like a proud papa. “Thanks to you. The cyclosporine therapy Bruno’s vet prescribed is working. The vet credited you for catching it early.”

  I beamed back. The old man slipped me a hundred. “Thank you for adjusting your schedule for us, Eliana.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Lancaster. I hope you and Bruno have a great trip.”

  I was still smiling when I left the shop, locking up behind me. Readjusting the straps of the heavy bags on my shoulders, I took off, enjoying the crisp air of early fall.

  Because I was coming from the shop, my route was backward this time. Stopping in each alley, I fed and petted my charges, their humans too.

  The last alley was always my favorite, even though I’d never admit it to anyone. Joseph and Target had started it all, and I had a soft spot for them both.

  The alley was dark and stank as bad as usual. No matter how many times I’d pleaded for Joseph to find a better place, he wouldn’t. He liked it, for some reason.

  Walking past the dumpster, there was no Joseph. No Target. I went farther in, whistling a few times. Nothing.

  I was running late, but not terribly so. I walked back to the dumpster, and the pile of blankets told me Joseph had been here not long ago. He wouldn’t have gone far without his possessions, as meager as they were.

  There was a sound, and I stopped to listen.

  A whine. A yip. Target?

  I stood still, trying to figure out where the sound had come from.

  There it was again. Another whine, this one much longer.

  “Target! Joseph!”

  I got a bark in return and located the direction. Glad my bags were mostly empty now, I hurried, following the sound.

  “Target!”

  Bark.

  The sound seemed to be coming from an abandoned apartment building. I stepped closer and put my hand on the door and was surprised to see that it was already open a few inches.

  “Target!”

  The bark I got in return seemed even more excited. I walked farther in and listened hard.

  “Target!”

  There, up the stairs.

  “Joseph?”

  Another bark.

  Navigating around the loose boards, I began to climb.

  Motes of dust filled the air in front of me each time I crossed in front of a window. It was cold in here, much more so than outside.

  At the top of the stairs, I called again. “Target! Here, boy.”

  I turned right, following the sound of constant barking to the end of the hallway. How in the world did he get in that room?

  Pushing on the door, I found the jumping dog. He was tied to a rusty radiator, and Joseph was on the floor beside him, unconscious.

  An adrenaline surge caused my hands to shake as I dug through my purse to call 911. I backed out of the room so I could hear over the dog’s barking. “Joseph, I’m calling for help. I’ll be right—”

  The last word was lost in the glove that covered my mouth.

  Target went crazy, jumping and pulling at the leash. The man holding me reached forward and pulled the door closed. I brought an elbow back and connected with the side of his head. He let me go, but only for an instant.

  An instant was all I needed, and I began to run but was caught as a hand twisted in my hair, pulling me back.

  When I was against the man’s chest, he whispered, “I heard you’ve been a very bad girl.”

  I froze. This man knew me. This wasn’t some random vagrant I’d stumbled into. I’d been set up. By who?

  His breath was hot in my hair as he grabbed my breast, squeezing it hard. “So you only put out for baseball players, huh? Football players too.” I focused on his voice. It was low. Raspy. Artificially so. Like he was changing it on purpose. So I wouldn’t recognize him.

  Who was this?

  Renewing my struggles, the man just laughed as he pushed me face-first into a wall, his weight holding me against it. “Go ahead. Fight me. I like it that way.” The heat from his breath was humid against my ear.

  “What do you want?”

  He laughed again. A deep gravelly sound. “I want so much I don’t even know where to begin.”

  I shuddered. “Please. Don’t do this. I won’t tell anyone. I—”

  He growled. “You better tell someone.”

  That wasn’t what I had expected. “What?”

  “I want you to leave here and tell your rich boyfriend that what happened today was all his fault.”

  I didn’t understand. “How?”

  “He’ll know. All you need to care about is letting me have my turn. Maybe if you pretend I’m in the NBA, you’ll spread ‘em fast enough.”

  A new surge of anger and adrenaline pushed through me, and I lashed out. Pushing away from the wall, I turned and used my fists and feet and teeth. The huge engagement ring became a weapon as I slashed at his covered face.

  He smacked me. Hard. So hard that the black mask he was wearing blurred.

  Tears sprang to the surface. The tears I’d tried so hard to force back. “Please don’t.”

  “Why? I enjoy this. It’s more fun this way. Can you feel how hard I am?”

  His erection pressed into my hip, and I lifted my thigh, trying to hit him in the balls. And connected. But not nearly hard enough. He turned at the last minute, but he still grunted, cursing me with every breath.

  Shoving him with all my might, I took advantage of him being momentarily off-center. I ran. The sound of Target’s barks faded as I got closer to the steps.

  Then my foot went through a rotten board, and I stumbled, waving my arms desperately to keep upright. It was too late. He was on me once again. This time knocking me to the floor. Knocking the breath out of me as he crashed down on top of my back.

  “Yeah, keep fighting, sweetheart,” he said, and I did. I fought even when he flipped me over and tried to unbutton my jeans.

  I fought when he laughed at my efforts.

  When he screamed, I didn’t recognize the change in his tone at first. But then he was off me, and Target was going for his throat.

  Scrambling backward, I saw Joseph staggering down the hallway, trying to help. But he stumbled forward, falling, then not moving.

  Crawling, crying, I went to him, turned him over, checked his pulse.

  And when I looked up, Target and the masked man were gone. There was a sharp yip. Then only the sound of boots as the man ran away.

  “Joseph, hang in there. I’m calling for help.” I scrambled for my phone.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw a movement and sprang to my feet. But it was only the dog. He was limping but looked otherwise alright.

  As I called for help, Target laid down next to his master. The man who had fed him even when he couldn’t feed himself.

  “Good… boy,” Joseph rasped and turned his rheumy eyes to me. “Take… care… my… boy.”

  I took his hand. “I will, but only until you get better, okay. You need to get better.”

  But he didn’t.

  Joseph died, his loyal dog beside him, as the sirens announced the ambulance’s arrival.

  ***

  I was still numb when the ambulance pulled up to the emergency room. Joseph’s cold hand was in my still trembling one, Target’s leash in the other.

  The paramedics had been kind enough to let Target ride along although I knew the hospital wouldn’t be as accommodating. I was arguing with a nurse, fully prepared to reject medical attention rather than leave the heroic dog alone outside, when I heard the screech of tires, then the roar of an engine.

  “Eliana!”

  Target growled, and I put a comforting hand on his head as I turned to see Kane running toward me. I was so glad to see him that I burst into tears and fell into his arms.

  “What happened?”

  I was still crying too hard to answer, so the paramedic filled him in. When the kind man finished the story, the grumpy nurse jumped in, “We’re trying to get her treated, but she won’t leave the dog outside.”