“Absolutely,” Grave said. “It’ll be worth it to skill that up, if nothing else.”

  “Then yeah, I’ll do that. Eventually you’ll get better and I’ll get more job slots, right? So I might as well go all in here. Uh, except for Cultist.”

  “Thank you,” Threadbare said.

  “How about you, Mom? It’d probably take a spirit eviction, and you’d lose a few levels, but it’d open up more jobs.”

  “No,” Zuula said. “Best you can do is five, right Graveman?”

  “Graves. And yes, that’s the best I can do right now with the skill I’ve got.”

  “Then no. Zuula just got ten. Not worth it to go back to being weak. Not wit’out bitchin new body.” She glanced over to Threadbare. “Still got the picture she drew you?”

  Threadbare drew it out, and showed it to the group. Silence fell around the fire, as Graves struggled not to laugh, Kayin hid her face, and Cecelia looked away, coughing desperately.

  “Are those battleaxes for hands?” Garon asked.

  “And is that faiah yoah breathing?” Madeline said, grinning wide.

  “No. Dose be lighting bolts. De fire be coming from Zuula’s ass.” The little plush half-orc pointed with her spear.

  Graves lost it then, waving his hands as he headed into the barn “All right, all right, it’s late. Good, heh, goodnight. Talk to me in the morning if you need something.

  “It’s the heaps of skulls that you’re crushing that have me confused,” Missus Fluffbear said, leaning in closer. “Are those things we have to make for you?”

  “What? No. Zuula provide her own skulls.” She considered. “Maybe you make a few clay ones just to start. Starter skulls. So her enemies know what is in store.”

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure they’d know just from one look at you.” Garon said, shaking his head. “All right. Let’s get montaging. If we start now, we should be finished before noon tomorrow.”

  *****

  Noon rolled over the village of Grubholm.

  Once a trapping and farrier outpost at the edge of the marsh, it had fallen a decade ago to monsters. Evacuees had spoken of eyes in the night, twisted little men striking from the dark places of the marsh in the dead of the night. Enough had died that the surviving families threw up their hands, packed up their supplies, and headed out for greener pastures. Abandoned by civilization, filled with monsters, it was now only really useful to adventurers looking for experience and loot.

  Like the seven toys, and their mounts, who moved slowly along the old road, eyes wide for trouble. Threadbare, Graves, and Pulsivar had remained at the old farm. The first two did so because they’d siphon too much experience and they could spend their time animating toys and letting soulstoned villagers romp around. Pulsivar because he didn’t seem to care to come along. Dude had some serious napping to catch up on.

  Zuula led the way, glancing around, following goblin sign, looking for signs of the twisted little baby eaters.

  Kayin and Madeline took the flank, with Keen Eyes up, ready to Wind’s Whisper back if they ran into something that required silent warning.

  Garon and Glub backed Zuula up, walking in step with her.

  And Fluffbear rode Mopsy, guarding the rear, glaring around for goblins to smite or babies to save. She wasn’t picky. And her Inspiring Aura buffed the moxie of her nearby friends, so it was a good spot for her.

  Cecelia rode one of the wooden wagon-pulling cats, animated, and about the only thing they had that was suited to her greater size. The parties had been sorted out… Garon had Zuula, Glub, and Madeline, and she had Kayin, and Fluffbear. That seemed like the best split, and ensured that Mopsy got experience too, and that each leader had a scout to listen for.

  It didn’t mean they couldn’t work together, just that they wouldn’t eat into each other’s experience too much. Cecelia and Garon had spent most of the walk up towards goblin turf planning out scenarios and strategies.

  But for all their troubles and preparations they weren’t ambushed on the way.

  Not when they moved past shoddy barricades, broken and covered with moss, old skulls on pikes now rusty and shattered.

  Not when they crossed over into the edge of town, past fire-blackened and crumbled hovels, made from bits of other buildings, but now abandoned.

  And not even when they came to the town square, at the edge of a shallow pond that stretched off to more marsh in the distance. The silence rolled on, quiet and unbroken save for the clattering of Garon and Glub’s steps. Zuula halted there, turning around, squinting at the buildings and checking the burned sigils on their side, rubbing them with her cloth fingers.

  Finally, Garon tapped Zuula’s shoulder. “Well? Where are they?”

  Though he tried to keep it quiet, his voice echoed across the marsh. In the distance, a bird took off, hooting.

  “Dis sign be old. Way older den de stuff inland.” Zuula said, shaking her head. “And de ruins… dey wrong.”

  “Yeah,” Kayin said, fading in from the left. “I looked through a few. Goblins WERE here, but… well, you’d better come see this.” She motioned, and the group followed her around from the square, to what had once been a town hall. Now the roof was gone, fallen in or fallen apart, leaving only a foundation, a few wooden walls, and a few floorboards.

  The cellar below was filled with slimy water, weeds and goop and round spheres as big as beach balls. Gelatinous, with some sort of greenish embryo curled up within each, they were clustered together six or eight in a bunch. They twitched and pulsed in the noonday sun, and as soon as Zuula saw them, she nodded once, and said a single word.

  “Run.”

  “What?” Garon said.

  “RUN!”

  And from the pond, from the marsh, and from other dark, wet places, came the sound of dozens of large throats croaking, as giant green THINGS hauled themselves out of their hiding places…

  THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET

  Name: Threadbare Age: 5

  Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 15 Cave Bear Level 12 Ruler Level 11 Scout Level 7 Tailor Level 11 Model Level 8 Necromancer Level 11 Duelist Level 6 Animator Level 12 Enchanter Level 10 Golemist Level 12 Smith Level 10 Sculptor Level 12

  Attributes: Strength: 124 Constitution: 138 Hit Points: 330(410) Armor: 52(59) Intelligence: 216 Wisdom: 201(208) Sanity: 417(550) Mental Fortitude: 42 Dexterity: 147(154) Agility: 112(119) Stamina: 269(363) Endurance: 62 Charisma: 110(138) Willpower: 199 Moxie: 309(417) Cool: 20(47) Perception: 119 Luck: 89(96) Fortune: 208(295) Fate: 15(22) Generic Skills Brawling - Level 35 (+8) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 8 Fishing - Level 1 Magic Item 1 - Resist Fire 12 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 13 Swim - Level 5

  Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 31 Bodyguard - Level 7 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 26 Innocent Embrace - Level 14 Magic Resistance -Level 7

  Cave Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 24 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 20 Stubborn - 8 Toughness - 19

  Ruler Skills Appoint Official - Level NA Emboldening Speech - Level 16 Identify Subject - Level 10 It’s Good to be King - NA King’s Quest - Level 6 Noblesse Oblige - Level 26 Organize Minions - Level NA Royal Audience - Level 17 Simple Decree - Level 8 Swear Fealty - Level NA

  Scout Skills Alertness - Level 2 Best Route - Level 2 Camouflage - Level 2 Firestarter - Level 4 Keen Eye - Level 5 Sturdy Back - Level 6 Wind’s Whisper - Level 5

  Tailor Skills Adjust Outfit - Level 4 Clean and Press - Level 13 Recycle Cloth - Level 1 Tailoring - Level 51(65)

  Model Skills Call Outfit - Level 1 Dietary Restriction - Level 40 (+80 to all pools) Fascination - Level 4 Flex - Level 16 Makeup - Level 1 Self-Esteem - Level 16 Strong Pose - Level 5 Work it Baby - Level 40 (+40% to raw item bonuses) Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 12 Command the Dead - Level 28 Deathsight - Level 8 Drain Life - Level 1 Invite Undead - Level 12 Mana Focus - Level NA (+11% to sanity) Skeletons - Level 19 Soulstone - Level 45 Speak With Dead - Level 20 Zombies - Level 3

  Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 4 Dazzling Entrance - Level 8 Fancy Flourish - Level 7 (14) Guard Stance - Level 8 Parry - Level 6 Swashbuckler’s Spirit - NA (+13 to cool) Swinger - Level 2 Weapon Specialist - Level 17 (Brawling +8) Animator Skills Animus - Level 35 Animus Blade - Level 10 Animus Shield - Level 4 Arm Creation - Level 7 Command Animus - Level 19 Creator’s Guardians - Level 26 Dollseye - Level 18 Eye for Detail - Level 20 Magic Mouth - Level 18 Mend - Level 40

  Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 30 Boost+5 - Level 9 Boost +10 - Level 2 Disenchant - Level 5 Elemental Protection - Level 8 Glowgleam - Level 26 Harden - Level 28 Soften - Level 30 Spellstore I - Level 9 Spellstore V - Level 4 Spellstore X - Level 1 Wards - Level 2

  Golemist Skills Clay Golem - Level 2 Command Golem - Level 10 Golem Animus - Level 47 Golem Guardians - NA Invite Golem - Level 11 Mend Golem - Level 15 Program Golem - Level 40 Toy Golem - Level 56 Wood Golem - Level 12

  Smith Skills Adjust Arms and Armor - Level 7 Refine Ore - Level 10 Smelt Down - Level 1 Smithing - Level 46

  Sculptor Skills Detect Clay - Level 8 Mend Ceramic - Level 5 Refine Clay - Level 16 Sculpting - Level 58

  Equipment Journeyman Tailor’s Apron of fire resistance (+6 Armor, +10 Tailoring, Resist Fire 9)(+2 Armor, +4 Tailoring, +3 Resist Fire from WIB) Okay Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)(+2 CHA, LUCK, Armor, Fate from WIB) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)(+2 CHA, WIS, +4 Cool from WIB) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)(+2 AGL, DEX, Fancy Flourish from WIB) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)(+4 CHA from WIB) Inventory A Finely-Made Dagger (Dagger Level 5) Tailor’s Tools A small jewelry box with a few reagents and crystals, most minor. 1 bead of Mend Golem (Level 15) Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day) Quests

  Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Cultist, Grifter, Spirit Medium, Tamer, Wizard

  Surviving First Contact 3

  Grubholm had been raided into ruins by goblins, it was true, and for a time the twisted little creatures had celebrated their victory and bred happily in that lush place, with plenty of food and empty ‘bigger’ houses to infest. Access to the main roads of the kingdom also let them send out raiding parties when their population got too high for the area to support, which was about every four months or so. The raiders either came back with shinies and bigger meat, or they didn’t come back and that was less mouths to feed, so it was all good.

  And for a few years, it had worked.

  But the weakness of goblins is that they have no real loyalty to each other. It’s all they can do to be a tribe, or even a family. Goblins live in a society where everyone is always out for themselves, for everything they can get, and no one else truly matters.

  Which is why the Gribbits had broken them like a rotten twig.

  Gribbits aren’t much taller than goblins, but quite a bit wider and longer. They can swallow goblins whole, which is bad enough, but worse than that,they’re organized. When a Gribbit attacks, he or she does so knowing that his entire tribe is right next to him, hitting the enemy all at once with everything they’ve got.

  Even though they’re physically weaker than humans, the fact is that gribbits don’t do things by halves, and they don’t run unless the whole battle line runs. Unlike goblins, who will gleefully abandon each other at the first sign of trouble.

  And worst of all?

  Like goblins, and raccants, and other smart tribal monsters, gribbits could sometimes have jobs.

  Zuula had recognized what they were dealing with.

  And the other golems trusted Zuula enough to follow her lead, which is why they bolted, which probably saved them casualties right there and then.

  “Get to cover!” Garon shouted, as wolf-sized frogs waving spears and clubs burst out of the water. “We’ll find a safe place to Fight the Battles!”

  “I’ll pick up rearguard!” Cecelia called. “Shield Saint!” She hauled out the old potlid she’d found in the farmhouse’s kitchen, and readied the small sword Threadbare had made her, bounding over on the wooden animi. The faster Gribbits closed, aiming for Glub and Garon, the slower members of the parties. But Celia got in their way, slashing at them, making them hop back to their front lines. Their rapidly-closing front lines.

  Garon glanced back, saw they wouldn’t make it. If they were caught out in the open, they were dead. Fortunately, he knew what his people could do. “Mom? Shaman slowdown two-fer?”

  “On it! Call Vines!” Between Cecelia and the gribbits, vines tore loose from the crumbled ruins, and burst up from the marshy ground, flailing and wrapping the oncoming gribbits. Zuula smiled, slowed a bit, ignoring Kayin as the catgirl asssassin tugged on her arm, and waited. Waited until gribbits were hopping over, working to get their tangled brethren free. Waited until she had the most within her affected radius. And then… “Call Thorns,” Zuula whispered and grinned with half-orky glee as the gribbits’ croaks turned to screams. And scream they should! Every vine or piece of vegetation within that area had just grown two-inch thorns.

  “Hahahhaha! Take dat!” She laughed. “Go up against a shaman, you get—”

  WHACK!

  Kayin hadn’t been trying to get her to run faster. Kayin had been trying to tell her that the gribbits on the flank had moved in while she was busy dealing with the ones behind.

  The club knocked the little plush shaman across the street, where another gribbit waited, stretching his maw open wide…

  …to be denied, as Missus Fluffbear leaped Mopsy in the air, and caught Zuula, whirling the cat around as soon as she hit the ground, and speeding toward the others.

  Meanwhile, Kayin snarled at the one who’d clubbed Zuula. “Hindering Strikes!” Three quick tendon-slicing slashes with her little dagger later, the gribbit was in no shape to jump after her as she ran.

  But it didn’t have to run. Kayin made it ten feet away, when she heard a whiplike snap behind her, and felt something wrap around her waist as she was jerked backward. “No!” She yelled, as the Gribbit snapped her into its fleshy, slimy mouth…

  …and paused.

  Toy golems are adorable, and give healing hugs.

  Baked clay golems are immune to fire, and can be gorgeous if made in a certain way.

  Wood golems? They’re splintery. Every time they’re struck or grappled, some of their outer layer spikes into their attacker’s flesh.

  And this gribbit had just stuck her into his mouth, which was way, way softer than his skin.

  The little assassin found herself spat out, covered in frog blood. With catgirl agility she hit the ground and rolled, came up running. “Faster Than Death!” she yelled, outpacing the gribbits who were moving in on both flanks.

  “Get up here man!” Glub called back to the stragglers. “Heartening song! Move those muscles run those feet! Keep on fleeing or we’re dead meat!”

  Didn’t really have a beat, but they were strengthened nonetheless. The ones in his party, anyway.

  Cecelia’s group didn’t have to worry about that, now that Kayin was out of danger and booking it. Fluffbear was mounted on Mopsy, and Mopsy could book it. The wooden animi was a bit slower, but Cecelia’s Horsemanship skill made up for that.

  That only left one more member of Garon’s party unaccounted for, up until she came down out of the sky like a red streak, divebombing the closest pursuers. “Burninate!”

  Fire exploded from the little dragon’s maw, carving a streak through the first third of the gribbit horde, and they screamed and fell back, some falling, dying— —up until a gribbit wearing a mitre hopped up from where he’d been observing the fight, and started croaking. And as he croaked, Gribbits healed, falling back to the lake and getting out of the fight.

  “They’ve got a cleric? No fair!” Kayin screeched.

  “Get up to tha inn!” Madeline screamed back from above, her voice fading as she looped around the sky. “You can… hold on….”

  Garon stiffened as she wind’s whispered him. “There’s an inn down that road! It’s mostly intact, we’ll make our stand there! Follow me! Forced March!” Garon, Glub, and Zuula sped up. The shaman poked Fluffbear, hopped down from Mopsy, and paused to take a look back at the chaos.

  Some gribbits had fallen, perhaps a dozen or so between the worst of the vines and the dragonfire, but the wounded ones that hadn’t were being hauled back for healing. Including the one who’d tried to swallow Kayin, who was pointing at his tongue and pointing at the little toys.

  “Damn…” Zuula said, turning and running.

  Gribbits were a threat, and that was true. They worked together, and that was worse. But the main reason they were a problem for her little coterie, was because gribbits learned.

  The inn was on a rise. It wasn’t much to look at, and like the rest of the buildings, its roof had rotted and fallen in years ago. Goblin graffiti sprinkled throughout insisted vulgar things in their crude language, which is why Glub was laughing and taking notes but nobody else really cared. Garon stomped around, testing the creaking floor, and checking the walls. “Secure the Perimeter.” he nodded, in satisfaction as his skill told him what was what. “There’s a family of raccoons in the basement, but that’s it.”

  “Raccoons means gribbits don’t come up here much,” Zuula hissed, waving Kayin and Fluffbear and Mopsy in through the doorway, before she grabbed one end of a mossy table and strained to try and shove it in front of the entrance.

  “I got yah,” Madeline said, wings clacking as she clattered to the ground, and got the other end of the table with her jaws. Between the two of them, they got it into place just as Cecelia leaped her animi through the window.

  “They’re slowing down, I think,” Cecelia said.

  “Yeah. Zuula, on a scale of one to ten, how bad is this?” Garon said.

  “Eight,” Zuula decided. “Gribbits pretty smart. Dey also nuts about protecting territory. Gonna be hard to get out of here wit’out casualties.”