THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET

  Name: Threadbare Age: 5

  Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 15 Cave Bear Level 12 Ruler Level 12 Scout Level 7 Tailor Level 11 Model Level 10 Necromancer Level 11 Duelist Level 6 Animator Level 12 Enchanter Level 10 Golemist Level 14 Smith Level 11 Sculptor Level 13

  Attributes: Strength: 125 Constitution: 140 Hit Points: 335(435) Armor: 52(65) Intelligence: 226 Wisdom: 204(211) Sanity: 430(584) Mental Fortitude: 42 Dexterity: 148(155) Agility: 118(125) Stamina: 275() Endurance: 62 Charisma: 120(149) Willpower: 212 Moxie: 332(461) Cool: 20(49) Perception: 126 Luck: 92(99) Fortune: 217(325) Fate: 15(22)

  Generic Skills Brawling - Level 47 (+18) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 9 Fishing - Level 1 Magic Item 1 - Resist Fire 13 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 17 Swim - Level 5

  Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 34 Bodyguard - Level 7 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 28 Innocent Embrace - Level 14 Magic Resistance -Level 17

  Cave Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 35 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 20 Stubborn - 9 Toughness - 20

  Ruler Skills Appoint Official - Level NA Emboldening Speech - Level 19 Identify Subject - Level 10 It’s Good to be King - NA King’s Quest - Level 15 Noblesse Oblige - Level 35 Organize Minions - Level NA Royal Audience - Level 22 Simple Decree - Level 15 Swear Fealty - Level NA

  Scout Skills Alertness - Level 3 Best Route - Level 3 Camouflage - Level 13(20) Firestarter - Level 10 Keen Eye - Level 11 Sturdy Back - Level 13 Wind’s Whisper - Level 15

  Tailor Skills Adjust Outfit - Level 4 Clean and Press - Level 15 Recycle Cloth - Level 2 Tailoring - Level 54(69)

  Model Skills Adjust Weight - Level 14 Call Outfit - Level 4 Dietary Restriction - Level 50 (+100 to all pools) Fascination - Level 8 Flex - Level 21 Makeup - Level 11 Self-Esteem - Level 21 Sexy Pose - Level 2 Strong Pose - Level 16 Work it Baby - Level 50 (+50% to raw item bonuses)

  Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 12 Command the Dead - Level 28 Deathsight - Level 9 Drain Life - Level 7 Invite Undead - Level 12 Mana Focus - Level NA (+11% to sanity) Skeletons - Level 19 Soulstone - Level 45 Speak With Dead - Level 24 Zombies - Level 3

  Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 9 Dazzling Entrance - Level 17 Fancy Flourish - Level 13 (20) Guard Stance - Level 20 Parry - Level 14 Swashbuckler’s Spirit - NA (+14 to cool) Swinger - Level 2 Weapon Specialist - Level 36 (Brawling +18)

  Animator Skills Animus - Level 36 Animus Blade - Level 10 Animus Shield - Level 4 Arm Creation - Level 7 Command Animus - Level 19 Creator’s Guardians - Level 27 Dollseye - Level 18 Eye for Detail - Level 20 Magic Mouth - Level 18 Mend - Level 40

  Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 30 Boost+5 - Level 14 Boost +10 - Level 2 Disenchant - Level 7 Elemental Protection - Level 9 Glowgleam - Level 26 Harden - Level 36 Soften - Level 31 Spellstore I - Level 25 Spellstore V - Level 4 Spellstore X - Level 1 Wards - Level 2

  Golemist Skills Clay Golem - Level 3 Command Golem - Level 24 Golem Animus - Level 48 Golem Guardians - NA Invite Golem - Level 12 Mend Golem - Level 35 Program Golem - Level 43 Toy Golem - Level 56 Wood Golem - Level 12

  Smith Skills Adjust Arms and Armor - Level 10 Refine Ore - Level 13 Smelt Down - Level 6 Smithing - Level 50

  Sculptor Skills Detect Clay - Level 8 Mend Ceramic - Level 6 Refine Clay - Level 18 Sculpting - Level 60

  Equipment Journeyman Tailor’s Apron of fire resistance (+6 Armor, +10 Tailoring, Resist Fire 9)(+3 Armor, +5 Tailoring, +4 Resist Fire from WIB) Okay Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)(+2 CHA, LUCK, Armor, Fate from WIB) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)(+2 CHA, WIS, +5 Cool from WIB) Sneakypants (+5 Camouflage)(+2 Camouflage from WIB) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)(+2 AGL, DEX, Fancy Flourish from WIB) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)(+5 CHA from WIB)

  Inventory A Folded-steel Dagger (Dagger Level 10) Tailor’s Tools A small jewelry box, now empty. 1 bead of Mend Golem (Level 15) 1 bead of Silent Killer (Level 10) Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day)

  Quests King’s Quest - Take Down the Lurker

  Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Cultist, Grifter, Spirit Medium, Tamer, Wizard

  A Small Giant Problem 1

  Giants, though rare creatures throughout the bulk of Generica, are fairly common in the Northlands. Like the dwarves, this particular batch had migrated down from Mighty Hallas, seeking opportunity and a new start away from their more troublesome associates, enemies and allies alike.

  Originally, Jotunher was supposed to be a twin settlement to Jotunhim, a steading ruled by the Jarl’s brother.

  Then she’d gotten her hands on a dungeon core, and the original plan had gone… a bit out of the window.

  Giants have the “Living Large” skill. Which means that they usually alternate between two attitudes; hangry, and lazy.

  So when the Jarl, after playing with the dungeon core a bit, figured out how it worked, she’d seen some of the benefits right away. Unlike most giants, who are— to put it charitably— rather slow, she’d managed to grind her intelligence up to a respectable fifty-two.

  Which let her realize “hey, if I stick all these delicious foods and alcohol stuff in the loot pillars, and put my friends in the midboss and mob pillars, then we can pretty much eat forever in a never-ending party without doing a lick of work!”

  And so when the dwarves finally tunneled back to that end of the mountain, they found Jotunher nestled just inside the Oblivion, and full of happy, torpid giants. Dwarves being dwarves and the old enmity being what it was, they send in raiding parties. Some of them survived, some of them didn’t, and the chief shrugged her shoulders and begin setting up a proper dungeon, adding to it as her whimsy took her. After all, the little hairy ones sometimes dropped good loot, and that got added to her hall of treasures. And it wasn’t like they could REALLY kill her people. Best Jarl ever!

  Okay, so she might not have figured out ALL of how the dungeon worked, but whatever. It worked, and that was enough. She’d come to appreciate the benefits of life as a dungeon master.

  Her subjects, on the other hand, had not.

  Though she had no way of knowing it, being stuck in a dungeon slot for long has a way of wearing on one’s perceptions. It ups aggression tries to mold behavior and urges, push those in them into acting in accordance with a script that tries to encourage and provide dramatic conflict with visitors.

  All else falls by the wayside.

  Some monsters, such as strong-willed undead or daemons can resist it. Dragons don’t usually notice, because they’re used to the unending weariness of the march of time anyway. But for most mortal races, it wears most people in those slots down, especially if they’re not mentally strong…

  …like, for example, most giants.

  The ones in the feast hall, gorging themselves, had barely noticed when the doors slammed shut. They did that sometimes, as people came and went. No big deal.

  They hadn’t even looked up when the handsome stranger stood there, holding a frightened doll in one hand and a pistol in the other, taking stock of the situation. Nor had they noticed when he shook himself, and shrunk down to the shape of a three-foot-tall teddy bear in a red coat and a black top hat.

  They sure as fuck had noticed when he shot Hralph in the face, though. Especially Hralph.

  The entire long table had gone silent, as the gunshot echoed, and the feasters stared at the murderous stranger.

  “My name is Threadbare and I think all of you are stupid fartsniffers!” He cheerfully announced.

  As one, they rose and charged him, bellowing in rage.

  And after a few injuries, some broken furniture, and a slight divergence into a food fight after Hregina accidentally beaned Hronda with a hurled ham, they realized that the little bastard had disappeared in the confusion. Angered, the mob of giants spread out throughout the hall, and began looking under chairs, lifting the covers of serving dishes, and peering behind tapestries for a small bear who desperately needed to be flattened. And maybe farted on, because who’s the fartsniffer NOW, huh?

  (That’s about the extent of witty retorts among giants, as they go.)

  With one shot and a little trickery, the Deciever had created a sticky situation indeed for Threadbare’s group.

  He didn’t realize, however, that they’d been told about the entry hall by Hidon, just prior to his arrival.

  And while they didn’t realized just what he’d done, they’d heard the gunshot through the doors, and guessed the gist of his plan.

  So when the doors slammed open again, about thirty giants, giancles, and a couple of ginephews and ginieces whirled around with axes and clubs out, they didn’t see an adventuring group led by a small bear who desperately needed pounding.

  They saw two badly wounded guards, staggering in, leaning on each other. “Get help…” one of them croaked, before slipping from her compatriot’s grasp and hitting the ground.

  Well, that wouldn’t do!

  The giants surged forward to help the fallen one up, firing questions at the still-standing guard, who shrugged.

  Unnoticed, a tiny red dragon wrapped around a totally silent knight ran from the door to the nearest side-passage. As they reached it, the knight glanced back, and the remaining guard’s eyes rolled up in her head as she collapsed.

  They made it down the hall, around a few corners, and came to a stop.

  “I can’t believe that wahked,” Madeline said.

  “…” Graves replied, lips moving without sound. He frowned, and sound returned to him. “I’m just glad the bear had that silent killer bead left over from the infiltration run. I’m not a stealthy person.”

  Madeline plopped her pack down and started drawing out their friends while Graves listened back the way they came.

  “Were there any problems?” Threadbare asked, as he came out.

  “No. It worked perfectly. The zombies distracted them and we got past.”

  “Good. Garon? Can you check?”

  “Sure thing. Follow the Dotted Line.” He looked down, then shook his head. “The Lurker’s resistant or something.”

  One of Garon’s mercenary skills let him find the shortest path to a given quest objective. Before they’d entered the dungeon, before they’d even left their quarters, Threadbare had given them all a King’s Quest to take down the lurker. Then to give himself the quest, he’d sworn fealty to Garon, who had shared the quest that Threadbare had given him BACK to its originator.

  They’d done that last part to mainly see if they could. It was possible, and raised some interesting notions for ruler-based shenanigans later.

  “I suppose that makes sense,” Threadbare said, after a bit of thought. “If it were that easy to find him he wouldn’t have caused so much trouble.”

  Kayin cleared her throat, as she faded into sight, losing her camouflage. “There’s one guard at the junction up the hall, and a lot of doors off. It’s like a maze back there, from what I can see.”

  “You think they’ll hear us in the main hall if we take him out?” Graves asked.

  “It’s a her,” Kayin said. “I think.”

  “Nah,” Madeline said. “I know how dungeon mobs think. They’ll stick to theah paht of things and not go roaming unless we draw’em.”

  “There’s a question, though. The guard, is she actively searching or hurt?” Cecelia asked.

  “No,” Kayin confirmed.

  “Then it’s almost certain the Lurker didn’t come this way.”

  “Or he slipped by with stealth,” Garon said. “But we need to go deeper in, regardless.”

  Cecelia sighed. “Remember, our goal isn’t to ‘win’ this dungeon, it’s to catch him before he seals it. We need to catch him before he gets to the final boss.”

  “Not what I meant. Mads?”

  “Dungeons have a way of funneling you to the end regahdless of how you go,” the red wooden dragon spoke. “If we don’t follow his path exactly that’s fine, so long as we can make it in time to catch him when the paths convahge.”

  “Let’s go, then,” Threadbare decided, mounting up on Pulsivar’s back and waving the rest along with his scepter. “Kayin, any way to sneak past this one?”

  “Not without risks. It’s a narrow junction and she seems pretty sharp.”

  “Down she goes then.”

  There was a time when that would have bothered me, Threadbare reflected as he rode Pulsivar into a charge, ambushing the surprised guard.

  AGI +1 Your Ride skill is now level 9!

  Most of his early life had been spent fighting for survival. First against the cat who he’d soon befriended, then against a horde of ravenous rats, and eventually graduating to struggles against undead and weirder things.

  But like the defense of the town had been, giants were people of a sort, and every claw swipe he landed on them, every bruise his scepter left on her skin, he was reminded that he was helping kill something that was like his little girl, just on a bigger scale.

  Your Clubs and Maces skill is now level 10!

  To that end he forgave the occasional axe hit or kick the giantess got in on him, because it was quite understandable really. But he was happy to switch over to support once the rest of his crew followed him in, and took over the slashy duties.

  She IS a dungeon monster. That does make a difference. What he’d seen so far seemed to suggest that dungeon monsters weren’t truly alive in the first place, that you could kill them and they’d just come back time and again. Like the Lurker. And a connection teased in his mind there, before he brought it back to the fight.

  But that wasn’t quite right, was it? Not all dungeon monsters were that way. Madeline was a dungeon monster who’d developed and escaped, and gone on to be a… well, you couldn’t call her a good person, not with a straight face, but a decent one given the fact she knew she was a monster and never felt the slightest guilt about it.

  At the end of it, when the guard toppled and fell, swarmed by small foes who overwhelmed her with bodies and attacks, he knew that it didn’t matter. This was what Cecelia needed, to save her Kingdom, her people.

  He sure would be happy when it was all done, though. Perhaps then they could get back to tea parties and hugs. And it WAS good to see his friends rejoice, and get more powerful and confident as they went from victory to victory. Speaking of which…

  You are now a level 7 Duelist! AGI+3 DEX+3 STR+3

  You are now a level 15 Golemist! INT+5 WILL +5 You have unlocked the Bone Golem skill! Your Bone Golem skill is now level 1! You have unlocked the Call Golem skill! Your Call Golem skill is now level 1!

  “Anothah one down!” Madeline cheered. “Goldfindah!” she chanted, and coins popped out of the giant’s pockets. Then Zuula took over searching duties, while Kayin nodded and faded into camouflage again.

  “Any route, desu?” The catgirl asked as she stared down three identical corridors.

  “Look for the larjah passage,” Madeline advised. “Main routes are the way to go.” She nuzzled her coins greedily. “Theah we go! High Dragon level tree! Woo!”

  “Cecelia?” Threadbare said, “I think I just got a skill that could save Marva here and now. Do you see any problem with me doing that immediately?”

  “Not a bit,” Cecelia said. “Please do!”

  “Call Golem”, Threadbare said, staring at the first Cecelia’s name in his party screen.

  Your Call Golem skill is now level 2!

  Immediately, Cecelia’s body double stumbled forward, appearing from thin air. She cringed, then looked around… and immediately glomped Threadbare. “Thank you lord! I was so scared!”

  “It’s all right,” he said, hugging her back. “Where was he?”

  “I… don’t know. He’s running around looking like you, King Dreadbear!”

  “Not unexpected.” The teddy bear gently pried the ex-cultist loose, just as Kayin rematerialized.

  “That way,” the catgirl said. “Just past two more guards it opens up onto a hillside for a bit. There’s some giant shepherds and herds of giant sheep and goats and stuff. It looks like there’s an entrance to a tower of the hall across the way, but if we step careful we might be able to evade most of the herds.”

  “I, I lost the sword and shield you gave me,” Marva said, turning to Cecelia. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, no, you’ve got nothing to apologize for!” Cecelia said, taking her shoulder with one hand, and touching her face as Marva tried to look away. “If anything I’M the sorry one. You risked your neck for me, because of me, and it almost went bad. I owe you a big favor. Garon, can we get her spares?”

  “Oh yeah. Mads?”

  Madeline rummaged in the pack, and pulled out a few spare doll-sized weapons. The temple of Yorgum had been good for grinding their craft skills last night, in more ways then one.

  Thus armed and re-equipped, Threadbare slapped a few mend golems on those who needed it, and the group hurried to the next set of guards.

  That fight didn’t go quite as well.

  Even with the same tactics that they’d employed against the gate guards, handling two at a time was rough. Especially without a pair of experienced and sturdy dwarves there to help take the pressure off of them.

  And in the more confined space of the hallway, it was harder to encircle and swarm the guards, harder to dance out of the way of their clubs. Threadbare was very glad he’d gained a level and refilled his sanity in the last fight, because he was stuck tanking as best he could and casting mend golem over and over again.

  On the upside it was doing wonders for his golem body and toughness skills. And his defensive duelist skills were getting a workout, too.

  The downside was that his friends were getting hurt, pretty badly hurt. At one point Pulsivar took a bone-shattering hit, bounced off a wall, and got up and limped away, leaving droplets of blood on the floor behind him, with a whole ‘1’ hit point glaring on Threadbare’s party screen. “Fluffbear!” he yelled, as he leaped onto the giant’s chest, holding its tunic while he jabbed it in the jaw repeatedly. “Heal him please!”