“All right.” Garon sighed. “We’ve got one shot at this. Let’s make it-“

  BOOM!

  QUICK REFERENCE: THREADBARE’S NEW SKILLS

  ADJUST WEIGHT Level: 10 Cost: 20 Sta Duration: 1 minute per skill level. You may adjust your weight upward or downward, increasing or decreasing it by a percentage based upon your model level, or any point in between. Your body will get thinner or fatter as you do so. Getting too heavy will debuff your agility. Getting too light will debuff your strength.

  SEXY POSE Level: 10 Cost: 20 Sta Duration: 1 minute per model level. Buffs your charisma, but only applies when dealing with people who are capable of being sexually attracted to you. Only one pose may be active at a time.

  THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET

  Name: Threadbare Age: 5

  Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 15 Cave Bear Level 12 Ruler Level 12 Scout Level 7 Tailor Level 11 Model Level 10 Necromancer Level 11 Duelist Level 6 Animator Level 12 Enchanter Level 10 Golemist Level 14 Smith Level 11 Sculptor Level 12

  Attributes: Strength: 125 Constitution: 139 Hit Points: 332(432) Armor: 52(65) Intelligence: 226 Wisdom: 204(211) Sanity: 430(584) Mental Fortitude: 42 Dexterity: 147(154) Agility: 118(125) Stamina: 275(389) Endurance: 62 Charisma: 120(149) Willpower: 209 Moxie: 329(458) Cool: 20(48) Perception: 125 Luck: 92(99) Fortune: 217(324) Fate: 15(22)

  Generic Skills Brawling - Level 43 (+14) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 8 Fishing - Level 1 Magic Item 1 - Resist Fire 13 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 17 Swim - Level 5

  Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 34 Bodyguard - Level 7 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 26 Innocent Embrace - Level 14 Magic Resistance -Level 16

  Cave Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 26 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 20 Stubborn - 9 Toughness - 19

  Ruler Skills Appoint Official - Level NA Emboldening Speech - Level 19 Identify Subject - Level 10 It’s Good to be King - NA King’s Quest - Level 14 Noblesse Oblige - Level 30 Organize Minions - Level NA Royal Audience - Level 22 Simple Decree - Level 15 Swear Fealty - Level NA

  Scout Skills Alertness - Level 3 Best Route - Level 3 Camouflage - Level 13(20) Firestarter - Level 10 Keen Eye - Level 10 Sturdy Back - Level 13 Wind’s Whisper - Level 15

  Tailor Skills Adjust Outfit - Level 4 Clean and Press - Level 13 Recycle Cloth - Level 1 Tailoring - Level 53(68)

  Model Skills Adjust Weight - Level 14 Call Outfit - Level 3 Dietary Restriction - Level 50 (+100 to all pools) Fascination - Level 8 Flex - Level 20 Makeup - Level 10 Self-Esteem - Level 20 Sexy Pose - Level 2 Strong Pose - Level 15 Work it Baby - Level 50 (+50% to raw item bonuses)

  Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 12 Command the Dead - Level 28 Deathsight - Level 8 Drain Life - Level 7 Invite Undead - Level 12 Mana Focus - Level NA (+11% to sanity) Skeletons - Level 19 Soulstone - Level 45 Speak With Dead - Level 24 Zombies - Level 3

  Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 9 Dazzling Entrance - Level 17 Fancy Flourish - Level 13 (20) Guard Stance - Level 19 Parry - Level 10 Swashbuckler’s Spirit - NA (+14 to cool) Swinger - Level 2 Weapon Specialist - Level 29 (Brawling +14)

  Animator Skills Animus - Level 35 Animus Blade - Level 10 Animus Shield - Level 4 Arm Creation - Level 7 Command Animus - Level 19 Creator’s Guardians - Level 26 Dollseye - Level 18 Eye for Detail - Level 20 Magic Mouth - Level 18 Mend - Level 40

  Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 30 Boost+5 - Level 14 Boost +10 - Level 2 Disenchant - Level 7 Elemental Protection - Level 9 Glowgleam - Level 26 Harden - Level 32 Soften - Level 31 Spellstore I - Level 25 Spellstore V - Level 4 Spellstore X - Level 1 Wards - Level 2

  Golemist Skills Clay Golem - Level 2 Command Golem - Level 24 Golem Animus - Level 47 Golem Guardians - NA Invite Golem - Level 11 Mend Golem - Level 27 Program Golem - Level 42 Toy Golem - Level 56 Wood Golem - Level 12

  Smith Skills Adjust Arms and Armor - Level 7 Refine Ore - Level 13 Smelt Down - Level 6 Smithing - Level 50

  Sculptor Skills Detect Clay - Level 8 Mend Ceramic - Level 5 Refine Clay - Level 16 Sculpting - Level 58

  Equipment Journeyman Tailor’s Apron of fire resistance (+6 Armor, +10 Tailoring, Resist Fire 9)(+3 Armor, +5 Tailoring, +4 Resist Fire from WIB) Okay Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)(+2 CHA, LUCK, Armor, Fate from WIB) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)(+2 CHA, WIS, +4 Cool from WIB) Sneakypants (+5 Camouflage)(+2 Camouflage from WIB) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)(+2 AGL, DEX, Fancy Flourish from WIB) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)(+5 CHA from WIB)

  Inventory A Folded-steel Dagger (Dagger Level 10) Tailor’s Tools A small jewelry box, now empty. 1 bead of Mend Golem (Level 15) 1 bead of Silent Killer (Level 10) Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day)

  Quests

  Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Cultist, Grifter, Spirit Medium, Tamer, Wizard

  You’re Fired 2

  Fort Bronze never slept.

  The pinnacle of the Crown’s might, the coordinating headquarters of its most grueling war, hummed with activity at all hours. The Siege Cannon never stopped firing, shaking the walls with each discharge, and the stone chips littering the halls that Threadbare passed through seemed to suggest that this was a regular thing.

  Not that he had much time to study them. One of his eyes was currently synched up to a small cloth mouse, that he’d animated and kept behind them, watching out for trouble or oncoming traffic. Celia had her own mouse animi up ahead of the group, since she was more skilled with the trick.

  Zuula, for the most part, slunk along and tried to be patient with the slow pace. Five levels ago it would have been impossible, but shamans got wisdom, and it made all the difference.

  And luck, too, which helped out immensely when people passed by, and the three golems had to scramble for cover. But whenever there was no cover they could reach in time, the toys had to dip into their stock of camouflage beads… all save for Threadbare, who could use the skill with a single soft word.

  And use it he did. They passed through two guard posts, and at the second one, Threadbare had to pick up Cecelia and run for it. Although they’d made her cloth slippers to muffle her ceramic footsteps, she just didn’t have much stealth skill at all, and agility was a secondary concern to her, now that she didn’t have access to her scout levels.

  Finally, they reached the machine bay. Blocked of by a metal grille, the space between the crosshatched bars was easy enough to squirm through. Threadbare winced as his head smushed through, deforming a bit. The smarter he got, the more uncomfy that was. He didn’t exactly have brains, he didn’t think, but form seemed to follow function and he wasn’t sure if he could survive decapitation. It seemed best to leave that as an unanswered question.

  With his good eye, he saw Cecelia bend down and scoop up her mouse animi, tucking it into the pocket of her dress. “I’ll need both eyes for this,” she whispered, staring around at the piles of junk, and racks full of tools scattered haphazardly around.

  No one else was visible in the vast, open bay. Chains hung silently, with bits of war machines, geared contraptions, and spare steam knight parts arranged in separate lots, separated by chalk lines on the floor and portable barricades.

  “What dose for?” Zuula said, wandering over to a barricade and nudging it. Basically several slabs of metal on wheels, it was solid enough that she could barely move it, even with her fairly-good strength. Compared to a human, it’d be about chest height. For the doll haunters and Threadbare, they were huge barriers that thankfully weren’t in the way right now.

  Cecelia kept her voice to a whisper. “Those are for dangerous projects and devices. The Tinkers and Alchemists move them around as needed to partition the shop and get cover if something explodes. Please keep your voice down, we don’t want to draw guards.” The courtyard was right out THERE, just through a huge portcullis. It was lit by glowstones, and still bustling, though down to about half the passers-by that they’d seen during the daylight hours. The lighting didn’t extend to the machine bay, though, and half of it was in shadow. And there were at least four doors and a winding staircase heading up into the cannon tower above, and any of those exits could have people within earshot.

  “Can you see all right?” Threadbare asked Cecelia. She didn’t have Darkspawn, like he and Zuula did.

  “Yes.” She looked back to the corner, where a hulking form squatted down, arms just visible in the light from the courtyard outside. “Mostly. Hang on.” She rummaged around in a nearby workbench, pulled out a metal tube, and capped one end. Then she grabbed a screw, whispered “Glowgleam,” and dropped it into the tube before it could flash into light.

  Threadbare and Zuula looked up at the spot of light on the ceiling, then down to Cecelia, who grinned. “A little trick I learned from Dad.” The grin faded. “One of the nicer ones, anyway. So long as I don’t point it to the courtyard and keep the spot out of view nobody should see it. Give me five minutes to go examine Reason.”

  The half-orc plushie nodded. “Okay. Zuula go check doors, listen for trouble. Shouldn’t be-”

  BOOM!

  The echoes were pretty bad in here. If he’d been organic, he thought he’d have a headache by now.

  “I just got a golem body level from that one,” said Cecelia, rubbing her skull as a red ’18’ drifted up. “Mend.”

  “I’ll keep watch on the portcullis. And the grille.” Threadbare said, glancing around through the mouse’s dollseye. He glanced over to Zuula, but she was already gone, lost in the shadows. Of the three of them she was the most skilled at sneaking, and he supposed she could pull borrow rat skills or something to help out if she needed there. Either way she was off being Zuula in a good way, so he trusted her to keep doing that. “Be very careful, okay?”

  “Absolutely.” Cecelia took one last look up at the light on the ceiling, then covered the end of the tube with her free hand, and slunk across the floor towards Reason.

  She disappeared between the rows of barricades, and Threadbare hunkered down, glancing back and forth.

  And a few minutes later, he heard something very close by.

  CLANK.

  Threadbare glanced around, and froze.

  Something big was moving, back in the far corner of the shop. Moving slowly, but that was definitely a ‘clack’ as it put a foot down, and a scrape of metal on the stone floor. It looked all the world like someone very tall in very heavy armor, tiptoeing.

  Maybe he hadn’t seen them? Threadbare slunk back into the shadows, ready to camouflage himself at the first opportunity.

  And then he gasped, as the armored figure moved into the first edges of the light coming through the portcullis. He knew that helm. He knew that armor.

  It moved up near him, glancing up at the ceiling, and Threadbare realized that it was trying to figure out where the spot of light had come from. It had been in the bay when they’d entered, and he’d mistaken it for just another war machine back with the rest of the strange contraptions.

  Opportunity warred with common sense, caution with nostalgia, and Threadbare realized that he could probably take a risk here, if he took a precaution first.

  “Command Golem – please whisper when talking and be generally quiet,” he told the figure-

  -and instantly it was as if he’d slammed into a brick wall. The pressure was immense, as SOMETHING fought the spell, but Threadbare, initially surprised, rallied and PUSHED, using the willpower that he’d trained and boosted with level after level of caster jobs, and managed to get the command through.

  WILL +1

  Immediately, the figure whirled-but slowly, and with grace out of proportion to its size, taking care to remain quiet.

  Behind its helm, two gems flared to glowing life, shining red. Threadbare knew those gems well. He’d seen them every morning, when he came downstairs with Celia, back in Caradon’s house.

  “Hello Emmet,” he said, stepping out of the shadows. “Do you remember me?”

  “Yes,” the armor golem ground, in a rasping voice that was probably as quiet as it got but still about as loud as regular conversation. “You are Threadbare. You are family.”

  “Good,” sighed Threadbare, glancing back to the courtyard. Loud enough and far enough away that another discussion might not draw attention. Maybe. “So what have you been up to these last few years?”

  *****

  Madeline puffed in air, as her barrel shifted. Moment of truth now, she thought, with a word ready on her lips to unleash dragonfire on whoever was decanting her.

  But it died unspoken, as the top half of the barrel finished unscrewing and a horned wooden head loomed over her. “You got our message?”

  “Yeah.” Her neck rattled a bit as she uncoiled it, poked her head up past the rim of the barrel’s secret compartment, and nodded toward the catgirl in the back of the group. “Thanks for the whispah.”

  “Shh,” Kayin said, leaning out the door, holding out a wooden palm. “Twenty seconds. Then you can come out.”

  It was hard. Madeline had spent days coiled in that barrel, and though she didn’t have flesh anymore, she FELT cramped. But she waited until the catgirl switched from an open palm to a beckoning wave.

  Garon helped her out, and Fluffbear cushioned her fall.

  “Feels weahd to see you without Mopsy,” Madeline said.

  “We left her back with Graves,” the little bear squeaked. “I’m hoping he can convince her and Pulsivar to come out of the pack before it explodes.”

  The whole trip had been harrowing for the mini-cougar and Pulsivar. They’d had to share a litter box, and hadn’t THAT been fun.

  “Create Waystone,” said Glub, handing her a little green rock.

  “What’s this?” Madeline squinted at it.

  Garon answered. “It’ll teleport you back to Graves. Please go, we’ll need the pack re-enchanted if it hasn’t blown up by now. And you’re sneaky, but you’re big, and we need to run up and get into the general’s office and that’s past three checkpoints-”

  BOOM!

  “What is that, anyway?” Madeline asked. “Been hearing it for a while now.”

  “Look, just go, please. And Glub, go with her, okay? No offense but you’re about as sneaky as a bowl of bananas.”

  “None taken, dude. What’s bananas?”

  “This whole mission. Gods, nevermind. Just go, okay?” Garon glanced back at Kayin at her sudden chopping movement, as she eased the door shut. The little toys waited, until footsteps passed the door and receded. Kayin eased the door open again, peering out. “This is a heavily guarded area,” Garon continued. “All the store rooms are.”

  Madeline craned her neck around, took in the floor-to-ceiling stacks of crates and barrels. “I’ll say. Hm, anything good here?”

  “We don’t have time.”

  She looked at him, then nodded. And came to a decision that she’d made weeks ago, just hadn’t acted on yet. Swift as an arrow, she darted forward and bumped her muzzle against his. “Good luck.”

  “What?”

  “Come back alive, okay Gar? Be a shitty undead existence without ya.”

  “Oh. Uh.” Garon’s hand clattered to his muzzle as he realized that had been a kiss.

  “So how do you use this thing?” She turned to Glub, and after a few whispered questions and answers, they dissipated as the waystones activated.

  Madeline smiled, as the two of them faded in to a cold, empty barracks… empty save for a very tired-looking Graves, and two upset cats. Mopsy crouched under a far bunk, her tail sticking out and very puffed up, showing extreme displeasure. Pulsivar peered out next to her, yellow eyes gleaming with rebuke.

  “Oh!” Graves said, and fumbled for his cane. “Thank goodness. Can you?” He hauled up Madeline’s pack.

  “Of cawse. Pack of Holding.”

  “Good. I need to rest, then I can see about getting the rest of this stuff back in.” He gestured at the dummy payload, and junk strewn about. “I could have borrowed a merchant level from our dead friends, but I don’t think any of them have the skill at a higher level than you. Most of them were pretty settled, didn’t go on many trips.”

  “Why do ya need to put it back in?” Madeline shrugged her wings. “We’re in. They ain’t likely ta search us on the way out. We’ll just push it under the beds and you can just say it was heah before, if anyone asks.”

  “All right, I guess that works. Mostly.” He glanced over at the very full and very stinky litter box.

  “On it, dudes!” Glub started moving junk around. “Man, why are the cats-”

  BOOM!

  “-right, stupid question,” the fishman doll said as soon as they could hear again.

  “I’ve been trying to get them back in the pack, but they won’t go,” Graves said, miserably. “Can they spare Fluffbear? You could whisper her, since you’re here now.”

  “Herbie, man, you never did know much about animals, didya?” Madeline grinned. “Streetrat like you nevah had the chance, huh?”

  “Hey, I like animals just fine.” Graves shrugged. “Rendered into sausage and smeared with mustard after they’re thoroughly cooked. Not my fault living ones are stubborn.”

  “There’s a trick with cats. Here. Help me get the pack open an’ square it as much as possible.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Just do it.”

  She coached him into making the pack as boxlike as possible, and sat it on the ground.

  Mopsy crept out first, sniffing, then settling into it and fading from view with a surprised “Mrp!”

  Pulsivar, though, was made of sterner stuff. He didn’t budge. Glub tried to convince him, and got some gentle mauling for his trouble. The bobcat was NOT happy about this place, and wanted his new hoomin to know it.

  Graves watched Glub and Madline try for a bit, but after about the fourth BOOM, his head snapped up. “Trouble.”