Now here I am, in his arms and I keep fighting it. Letting fear blind me to the happiness I could have.

  When we pass through the threshold of his bedroom and he continues to the bathroom, he finally lowers me to the floor. I stand before him allowing him to slowly undress. Our eyes locked on each other, his fingers gently grazing over my skin triggering chills to spread out over my skin.

  Jay turns my body away from his, unclasping my bra and moving it down my arms. When the heat of his body presses to mine from behind I close my eyes and give into the way his lips feel along my shoulder. Soft gently kisses, working their way to my neck, as I turn my head welcoming more.

  “You are everything to me,” his whisper tickles my ear, just before his tongue trails over my sensitive flesh. “No one has ever consumed me the way you do. It’s always been you Zoey, hundreds of miles between us didn’t change that fact.”

  I turn, placing my hands to his chest and looking up into his eyes.

  We remain like this for several seconds, neither saying a word. Then together we walk backwards to the shower and step inside under the warm cascading water.

  I forget what his mother said. I forget what I went through with Carson. I let go of the idea that no matter how badly I want something good, I will always be let done.

  And I do as Jay’s asked, and I let him love me.

  A warm, strong hand drags very slowly over my side, until it reaches my hip. I smile, my face turned in toward the pillow, as I concentrate on the way he touches me.

  Jay’s body is close behind mine, neither of us bothered to get dressed last night after our shower. Instead he led me to the bed, crawl beneath the sheets with me, where we made love then fell asleep.

  He places a kiss onto my shoulder, before moving closer to my neck.

  “Good morning,” he whispers, and I slowly look over my shoulder. A sweet smile tugs at the corner of his mouth just before he shifts a little closer, pressing his lips to mine. “I love this,” he confesses. “Waking up next to you,” my heart feels like it swells in my chest. “Knowing all three of you are here, safe, with me.”

  Closing my eyes tightly I try not to react to his words, but it’s difficult.

  I spent the last four years taking care of my girls, and though I’ve had help, I still have a real hard time accepting support. Prior to that I pretended my marriage wasn’t a sham, I lied to those I loved, distanced myself from my best friends because I knew seeing them would give away the fact that I was miserable.

  The truth is, I’ve spent far too long feeling alone when I had so many people around me who would have lifted me up had I allowed them too.

  But here, now, with Jay, it’s the first time in so long I haven’t felt as though I’m walking on eggshells. Like any minute the ground will shatter beneath me and there won’t be anything to grab onto.

  Jay slowly crawls over my body, and I roll onto my back without resistance. “It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had.” He drags his nose along the side of mine, brushing a kiss over the corner of my mouth.

  I can feel him growing hard against me as I part my legs, and he fits so perfectly between them.

  “I won’t lie and say I didn’t love my time in Mobile.” I stare up at him, suddenly my stomach growing unsettled until he continues to explain. “But it was a phase, that grew old fast. Because though I remained busy during the day there was always the night to remind me what I was missing.”

  “And what was that?”

  “You.” He holds my stare. “Roots, family, love, coming back here, it could have gone two ways. I knew there was a chance I’d be forced to see you with him, happy and I’m not saying that finding you the opposite of what I’d imagined is a good thing, I will say being able to give you that myself, it feels good. I want to be the man who makes you laugh and who loves you and those girls to the point of suffocation.”

  I laugh.

  “I’m serious, okay well, maybe not suffocation, but real damn close.”

  “I’m difficult, I know this. But I’ll admit,” I lift my hand to cup the side of his face, staring directly into his eyes, “being loved by you is incredible. I just need to do a much better job of accepting it.”

  “You do.” He nods, shifting his body against mine and I moan at the friction it causes. “But we’ll work on that.”

  Right then I’m brought back to the first moment I knew Jayson Lincoln was it for me. Yes, there was the time in between when I thought our chance was gone, but here we are. My heart racing, my body filled with joy. A joy I haven’t allowed myself to feel in longer than I can remember. I think I just forgot how incredible it felt, to give yourself over to someone you love. To be consumed, mind body and soul, and to know you’ll come out the other end of it unscarred.

  I know Jay won’t hurt me, or the girls. I know he never meant to all those years ago, but it wasn’t our time.

  But now, it’s our time.

  thirty-five

  . . .

  Jayson

  “What’s going on in here?” I ask, standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jam, where I’ve been quietly observing for close to a minute. The three of them are happily dancing around the kitchen, completely unaware of my presence.

  They all turn, Zoey holding a spatula, Riley and Regan smiling happily as one holds an unopened bottle of syrup and Regan a container of wet wipes.

  “Breakfast,” Riley sings as she shakes her hips from side to side and Regan chooses to match her movements.

  I walk further into the kitchen and pause behind Zoey, placing my hand on her hip and leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Good morning,” I whisper.

  “Morning,” she returns, before turning back to the stove and flipping what appears to be French toast.

  Stepping away, both girls are there waiting as I grab the four plates and walk over to the kitchen table. “Should we set the table?”

  They quickly rush over and climb up onto the chairs. Together we set each place with a plate, fork, napkin, and a cup. Riley retrieves the milk from the fridge and carries it over just as Zoey places the plate full of French toast in the center.

  With me next to Riley, and Regan next to Zoey, it seems like something the four of us have always done.

  We each cut up the toast for the girls, pouring the syrup over it as they both dig in. The wet wipes in the middle make sense now as I notice the sticky mess on each of their little faces.

  I sit quietly watching them, barely touching my own food. I’m completely enthralled with their beauty, much like their mothers. The three of them are stunning, so perfect it makes my chest ache.

  The girls laugh, telling jokes that are only funny because they are so incredibly cute while telling them.

  How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it.

  Riley laughed so hard she snorted when Regan told that one and seeing the joy in their eyes is the best part.

  My phone rings as we are cleaning up after breakfast and I sneak away to take the call.

  “It’s Nash,” Georgia says, when I say hello. “Dolly called and she’s on her way in with him. I’m gonna meet her there but from the way it sounds, he may have broken his wrist.”

  I’m already gathering my clothes to get dress.

  “He landed wrong while playing football and it rolled. She said its swelling up and he’s acting like it’s nothing, but she insists it is definitely something.”

  “I’ll be there in fifteen,” I tell her as I tug my pants on and grab my socks, sitting down on the end of the bed. “Go ahead and X-ray it so the images are ready for me once I get there.”

  “You got it.” She ends the call as Zoey fills the doorway. Noticing that I am now dressed, she walks over, pausing in front of me.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Possible broken wrist,” I stand and place my thumb under her chin tipping her face upward. Leaning forward I press a kiss to her lips. “You and the girls stay here,” I insist, although she seems hesitant. “I was thinking we could take a little ride up to the lake.”

  “I have plans with Lucy and Emma.” She makes a pouting face. “We have pedicures at two.”

  “And after that?”

  “Margaritas with Gigi.”

  “Where are the girls going?” I ask still holding her close.

  “They were supposed to go to Molly Wilson’s house but she just messaged and said Isabella was running a fever all night so I’ll probably take them over to my parents.”

  “Let me keep them here.” Excitement hits me. “We can play games, play dress up, whatever they want.”

  “You are a brave man,” she laughs.

  “I’m still waiting for this crazy you talk about so often to strike. I gotta admit, I don’t see it. Honestly, I think you trying to scare me.”

  She laughs. “They are not angels, they just hide their horns so well around you.”

  I laugh as I hold her by the waist and pull her in tight.

  “No way those two beautiful girls have an evil bone in their bodies. They are perfect.”

  “And you are delusional.” She laughs as I kiss her.

  “No, I’m just smitten. Now are you gonna let me keep them for the afternoon?”

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  I kiss her until she is breathless before backing away. “I’ll be back soon.”

  I leave, practically skipping down the driveway toward my car. My mind is already planning out all the things I want to do with Riley and Regan.

  “Do you have a pickle?” Riley asks leaning over in attempt to look at my cards. I turn them in toward my body and reach out to tickle her side. She giggles, falling back and pulling her legs up in the air, kicking them wildly. She holds her own cards but not so securely, as a few fall from her grip.

  “Okay,” she squeals. “No more.” Her words are winded as she continues laughing, and Regan smiles as she rocks back in her little chair, keeping her own cards hidden.

  “I don’t have a pickle,” I tell Riley as she repositions herself and gathers the cards that had fallen to the floor.

  “Do you have a dump truck?” I ask Regan and she holds my stare. When her brow arches, but her lips remained pressed in a tight line I feel a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. She doesn’t look away, and just when I’m about to say something she nods.

  “I was trying to give you the stare down.”

  “The stare down?” She still seems so serious.

  “Yep, Papa says when you are trying to introgate someone you give them a donimated stare.

  “Do you mean intimidate someone?” I ask.

  “That’s what I said.” She nods. Only her way sounds so much cuter.

  “Did it work?”

  “I was a little worried there for a minute,” I tell her. “It was a pretty good stare down.”

  Regan looks over at Riley and they offer one another a smile, before the sweetest little fist bump. And right then I fall a little more in love with them both. We continue our game until the girls get bored and then move into the living room to start a movie.

  Zoey has messaged several times asking if they were being good and one of the times, I let the girls call her instead of responding. I sat back listening to them both gush about the fun they were having and Emma and even Lucy aww as the girls explained everything we’ve done.

  We made cookies, went for a walk, played tag in the yard. We even went to visit Grams, where she insisted on painting the girls’ fingernails. I thought I could tucker them out enough that they’d be ready for bed but frankly I think I’m the only one who is exhausted.

  We all three climb up on the couch, one girl on either side of me. A large blanket thrown over us, they lay their heads on my chest just as the movie begins.

  That is the last thing I remember before I’m jolted awake by the feeling of someone’s hand on my cheek.

  “Hey.” I blink a few times until Zoey becomes clear, then immediately I look for the girls. Both still at my sides, holding onto me securely.

  “They adore you,” she tells me, regaining my full attention. “You are so great with them.”

  “They are like my two tiny best friends,” I confess without hesitation. “Today, it was perfect. Minus you being gone, but Zoey, honestly the three of us had such an amazing time.”

  “I know,” she whispers running her hand over Riley’s hair as she glances at Regan. “I’m so glad they have you.” Her confession means the world considering she fought it so hard.

  “I can honestly say I don’t remember what life was like without them.” I kiss each of their foreheads. “And you.” I glance back in her direction.

  “Join us.” I lift up the edge of the blanket and she climbs beneath. She settles in and over the top of Riley’s head she leans in to kiss me.

  “I decided something tonight,” Zoey confesses.

  “What did you decide?”

  “To love you without fear.” She holds my gaze. “To embrace the life you’re offering us, and to let go of the past.”

  “That sounds like a really great choice.”

  “It does.” She smiles.

  “Why you’re making all these life-changing decisions, maybe you can consider one more thing?”

  She arches her brow, waiting for me to continue.

  “Maybe you could help me make this house a real home and move you and the girls in here permanently.”

  Zoey’s eyes widen and I can’t help but chuckle. “Don’t shy up on me now, remember without fear.”

  Zoey takes a deep breath, holding my stare for a few seconds, leaving me to wonder what she is thinking. “We’ll see what the girls have to say about it in the morning.”

  “In that case, I guess we better rent a U-Haul because my two best pals are gonna be on my side.”

  “Oh we have sides now?” Zoey tries to be serious but she can’t hide her smile.

  “Yeah, mine and ours.” He nods to the girls. Zoey rolls her eyes as she snuggles in and within minutes, she is falling asleep.

  And in that moment, I realize I’m holding the world in my arms.

  My world, everything I want and need. My girls.

  epilogue

  . . .

  Zoey

  “What are you doing?” Jay asks as he steps up behind me. I stand in the hallway with my head leaning against the wall just outside the girls’ new bedroom and smile, listening to them talk.

  “I love hearing them giggle.”

  “Me too,” he confesses as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind and rests his chin onto my shoulder. Together we are quiet listening to them laugh and talk like there is no one else in the world but them.

  “Look Riley,” Regan says excitedly. “We can see the playhouse from here, and the lake.”

  “I love this room.” Riley sighs and for a few seconds they are both silent. I can practically picture them both up on their knees in the window seat, looking out the glass.

  “I love our new house.” I close my eyes tightly feeling emotions rise in my throat triggering a burning sensation. “And Prince Jay, do you think we can call him daddy?” That’s all it takes as I hang my head and the tears fall.

  “He’d make a good daddy,” Regan agrees and Jay squeezes me a little tighter.

  “Maybe they’ll get married,” Riley squeals happily, and I hear little stomps as she does her excited dance she always does. “And we can wear big fluffy dresses and carry flowers in our hands.”

  “I want pink flowers,” Regan sing songs.

  “I like how they think,” Jay whispers near my ear before turning my body to face him. “They have all the best ideas.”

  I smile up at him to find his eyes are too shinning with unshed tears. “You know that I’m okay with them calling me Dad, Jay, whatever they prefer. Though the dad option is my top choice.”

  “They’re so happy.” My voice shakes and my chest starts to ache. “You’ve given them that.”

  “No.” He cups my face in his hands, forcing me to see nothing more than him. “We have, and this is just the beginning.”

  I nod, then he presses a kiss to my forehead just as the doorbell rings.

  Hand in hand we make our way downstairs and see my parents and Gigi standing on the front porch. Just as we make it to the bottom, both Riley and Regan rush past us like two little streaks of poofy tulle.

  “Yay,” one of them screams.

  “Company!” Riley shimmies her hips and the movements remind me so much of Emma. It doesn’t bother me that my daughter seems to idolize one of my best friends. It’s actually an incredible feeling.

  “Can we open it?” Regan glances back to ask permission but it’s not me she is asking.

  “Yeah,” Jay responds, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

  I squeeze his hand, and he looks over at me, as I offer him a wink before releasing his hand.

  The minute the door comes open, all three move inside, and Gigi is holding two bags in her hands.

  “Presents?” I ask with a lift of my brow.

  “Don’t look at me, it was Aunt Sarah. She said to tell you she found them while she was visiting a friend and couldn’t resist.” Something about the statement frightens me as I attempt to peek into one of the bags.

  Moving them out of reach, she laughs. “At least let the girls open them, first.”

  “Aunt Sarah tends to buy things I should filter.”

  “There are no penis lollipops.” Gigi snickers. “She said it’s nothing edible, lickable, or vibrating. Complete kid friendly.”

  She steps around and hands one bag to each of the girls as they snatch them and drag my mother and Gigi off to show them both their new room.

  “This place has come a long way,” My father looks around the foyer, that separates the larger living room and the office tucked up in the front corner. “You’ve managed to really brighten it up in here.” He looks back to Jay. “Without taking away it’s charm.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Jayson nods.

  I observe the two of them wondering when we’ll get past the formalness and then before I have the chance to dwell on it my father surprises me.