“If you get bored waiting around for Zoey, she looks interested.” Dean nods toward the waitress who is walking away but looking back over her shoulder. She’s also shaking her hips a little more than necessary to gain the most attention. Biting at her lip, offering a wink when she notices we are watching her. “I bet if you confess your love to her, she wouldn’t hesitate.”

  I glance at my brother who is currently using his hand to hide his smile.

  “Again, I didn’t confess my love.” I clarify yet again.

  “But you do love her,” Eric says. It’s not a question.

  Choosing to ignore them all I pick up another potato skin and don’t react when they chuckle. Meeting them all for dinner and drinks at Willy’s Crab Shack seemed like a good idea, then I show up and the three of them can’t stop harassing me. I was right, half of Magnolia Grove knew about my visit to Zoey’s shop by midnight the very same evening. The rest by the end of church services on Sunday.

  Nothing is sacred, nothing is private, there were always and still are curious eyes and even more curious ears.

  “Momma,” a loud squeal echoes over the restaurant and I look in its direction just in time to see a blur of blonde hair go barreling past the table. “I gotta pee,” the little girl screams which triggers laughter from a few of the guests.

  “I got her,” it’s my brother’s girl who scoops up the little bundle of fire and carries her off toward the restroom sign in the back.

  “Regan,” Knowing that voice, I shift around in my seat and immediately find Zoey in the crowd. She is holding out her hand to another little girl who looks like the one Emma carried off.

  Zoey has yet to notice me, but I can’t look away. Seeing her in this role, as a mother, I’m in awe.

  She holds out her hand and the little girl reaches out taking hold as they walk toward a table on the opposite end of the restaurant. Swinging their arms, practically skipping as they smile at each other.

  “Don’t do it,” my brother groans, but I don’t acknowledge him.

  She is completely enthralled by her daughter as they climb into the booth and pull out a menu. She leans in close, as they look it over. Zoey’s mouth moving, I assume as she reads the words to her little girl. I know I’m staring but I can’t seem to look away.

  “Reel it in Romeo,” my body jerks in surprise and I look back to find Emma is now standing next to the table. Her hand locked with an identical version of the one in the booth with Zoey. Wow, they look so much like their momma.

  “She’s not in the right headspace, and after the other night you need to give her a little time to get her thoughts straight before you throw another round of crazy her way.”

  “Hello Em,” I say with a smile.

  “She’s still dealing with a frog, a big wart covered toad. The biggest nastiest toad you can find. You may be her prince in the end, but she’s gonna need some time to clean out the stink first.”

  “You’re a pwince?” The little girl at her side says and I quickly forget everything Emma says when I glance down. The sweetest toothless grin is looking up at me with wide eyes. “Where’s your crown at?”

  “I left it at home,” I say leaning in closer. “What’s your name?”

  “Riley,” she replies. “What your name?”

  “I’m Jayson, but everyone calls me Jay.”

  “Momma,” she screams across the restaurant as she looks back in the direction where Zoey is seated. “I met a pwince.”

  Eric chokes on his beer, Dean laughs under his breath and Mattie whispers, its sounds like she said penis.

  Emma smacks at Mattie and I look back to the place Zoey sits and notice the uncomfortable look on her face.

  “You should probably join your mom and sister for dinner,” I tell Riley not really wanting her to go away. “It was nice meeting you Riley,” I reach out and shake her hand making her laugh before she rushes off to join her mother.

  “You got to her,” I look away to find Emma still standing next to our table. “If she’s asks, I’ll deny I ever said this, but she’s never stopped thinking about you either. He made her lose hope, but you being here, I see a piece of the old Zoey. She’s fighting it, but like I said give her time.”

  twelve

  . . .

  Zoey

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I stand on the opposite side of the table staring at Carson who is slouched in his chair. He looks half drunk, or at least hungover and I want nothing more than to reach out and slap the smirk off his face.

  “You want this over, then those are my terms.” He shrugs as if it’s nothing. Not even a sliver of emotion on his face. No sadness or finality in his eyes, just a completely blank, I don’t give a fuck look. “No more back and forth with attorney’s, no more combing through everything trying to strike a deal. It’ll be over, I’ll sign and we move on.”

  “You’ve already moved on. You moved on from the moment you said I do.” He doesn’t deny it.

  “Can I have a minute with my client?” Reece asks placing his hand on my arm. I feel for the man, he’s put in so much time and effort, and he’s filtered months and months of bullshit from Carson. I know there are things he hasn’t even told me and I appreciate it, but right now I feel like I’m going to lose my battle to maintain my cool.

  “Please,” Carson’s lawyer looks as annoyed as Reece.

  We exit the room and I walk down the hallway to the large windows at the end needing some space. I feel like I am about to explode, my hands shake, my chest is tight. I’m angry and damn it my heart feels like it has shattered into a million pieces.

  “Zoey,” Reece gives me space, not moving in too close. “I know this isn’t what you expected. Hell, sweetheart it isn’t what I expected. But with everything you know now, with the last three years and everything that has happened is it truly any different. It’s basically what has been taking place from the day the girls were born.”

  “How can he be so nonchalant about it?” Tear filled my eyes. I stand there in the hall fisting my hands at my side, the urge to hit something is so powerful I’m not sure I can control it.

  “He’s not the man you thought he was, and my hearts breaks for you. I wish things were different. I wish you and your girls had a strong man, one who deserves the three of you, and who knows, maybe one day you will. But this, Carson and his demands, you have to decide if you want this all to go away or do you want to keep fighting it. But whatever you choose, I am on your side. I’ll continue to fight with you, you have my word. We will drag it out, draining him until he has nothing left. But you have to decide, you have to make that choice because this is your life.”

  I take a deep breath, looking out at the town. Cars moving along the streets, people walking the sidewalks, peering in windows, and laughing like they don’t have a care in the world. I want that.

  “Draw up the papers,” I slowly turn to find Reece standing a few feet away with a concerned look on his face. “I can’t go back in there, because if I do, you’ll be defending me on an assault charge and I think I’ve taken up enough of your time.” I smile, but its forced. “I just want this all to be over. I want to be me again. I don’t want my girls to see this version of me, I’m ready to be happy and stop feeling like the weight of all my bad choices are dragging me down.”

  “Go for a walk,” he offers me a nod. “I’ll go handle this and when I have everything together is a few days we’ll meet in my office and get this finalized.”

  I bite my lip to keep from crying or screaming and step around him walking toward the elevator. He’s right I need some air.

  “Look at them.” I sit on the picnic table at Magnolia Park and watch Riley and Regan play on the swings. My chest is so raw, each breath I take burns. “I mean honestly, what kind of man can pretend they don’t exist?”

  “Carson isn’t a man, he’s a coward.” Emma slides closer and bumps her shoulder with mine. “He’s also a liar and a cheat, a pathetic lay, from what you’ve said, and those two pretty babies are better off without him.”

  Riley jumps off the swings and hurries to Regan’s side. They link hands and start to skip toward the slide. I can barely hear them, but can tell they are singing, as they sway their bodies in unison.

  I know she’s right. My girls are better off without the influence of Carson. With him life would be full of disappointment and sadness, but it doesn’t make the fact that his one demand to make this divorce final is to sign over his rights to our daughters and for me to never ask for a dime for them.

  I haven’t found the courage to tell my father this newest development because he’s already been hanging on by a thread. I swear if he knew he could get away with it he’d murder Carson and bury the body in a deserted field.

  It’s only a matter of time before the entire town knows and my biggest fear is for my girls to ever think they are unwanted. They are my babies, my life, my world. The idea of them hurting nearly cripples me.

  “I know right now this feels like a fail.” Emma says from my side but I can’t bring myself to look at her. “I know you. You’re blaming yourself, thinking you somehow should have seen this coming but I need you to push all those thoughts aside for a second and listen to me.”

  I take a shuddering breath.

  “Look at me,” I do as she asks. Normally she is trying to find a way to bring joy to a dark moment, but she must see that it’s the last thing I need right now. Right now I need a light, I need some kind of win. “You are an amazing mother, and you have given yourself to those girls one hundred and ten percent even before they were born. You have every single person in Magnolia Grove on your side and they won’t make it possible for Riley and Regan to ever feel for a second that they aren’t loved. They have so much joy, they are happy and they have you to thank for that. Because even in the midst of all the bullshit, you never let it touch them. You made sure every day that even when you were breaking all they saw was your smile.”

  I nod, trying not to cry. I can’t let them see me cry. Regan gets so sad when I’m sad and Riley, she gets even more fiery than normal. My Yin and Yang, the salty and the sweet, my babies.

  “I know you don’t feel much like celebrating but if you ask me, I think this calls for a make your own sundae, movie with our pajamas kind of night. Then after the girls fall asleep if you need to fall apart Lucy and I will be right there to hold you up.”

  I don’t know what I would do without the two of them, they’ve been saints.

  “Does that sound like a plan?”

  “Mattie might get mad at me for continuing to steal his woman.”

  “Oh, please,” she humphs, “he’ll find something to do.”

  We sit side by side for awhile, continuing to watch the girls run around and laugh.

  Seeing them smile, watching them together, gives me the light I’m needing. It amazes how much they love each other, two best friends, attached at the hip, zig zagging around the playground without a worry.

  I know they are better off. I know having Carson’s influence in their life would only cause them more harm than good. But I keep thinking about the one day when they ask me about their father. What will I say? How do you explain his choices when you don’t understand them yourself?

  thirteen

  . . .

  Jayson

  “One twenty-five over seventy-six,” I thumb through the iPad looking at Georgia’s notes from Mr. Millers vitals. “Looks good,” I smile at him, “how have things been?”

  “Good,” Mr. Miller is a stubborn man. Even if there was something of concern, he’d play it off as nothing. One thing about my gramps is he took very thorough notes on his patients.

  Check Mr. Miller’s feet. If he is lying, he won’t look you in the eye. He doesn’t take his Diabetes seriously, so follow up with Ms. Miller about his diet.

  Every patient folder has notes like these in it. He was old school, keeping paper charts in his office on everyone. Thankfully Georgia is just as thorough and ensures the important things are in the computer system she talked my grandfather into installing.

  “How are the feet feeling?”

  Instantly Mr. Miller looks at the wall over my head and I try not to laugh. Like I said he knew his patients better than they knew themselves. “They’re fine.”

  “Mind if I have a look?”

  “I do,” he huffs.

  “Well, in that case I may have to call the misses.”

  “Oh you and doc think you got it all figured out, don’t ya?” He grabs his shoe and pulls it off. Followed by his sock. “Like I said, they are fine.” He dares me to argue. “I learned my lesson the last time your grandfather threatened to call me wife. I ate the same bland stew for a week straight and had to show her my levels every hour on the hour. I am not a toddler.”

  “I’m glad you’re taking this more seriously.”

  “Bullies, you and doc,” he mumbles putting his sock back on. “If you weren’t the only doctor in town, I’d find me a new one.” Grumpy ole man, but harmless.

  “Well, Mr. Miller I’d miss you if you left.”

  “A smartass too,” he adds hopping down off the table once his shoe is back on his foot. “You and doc were cut from the same cloth.” I take his words as a compliment. “Are we done here?”

  “Check in with Marcy at the front desk and make your next appointment.”

  He doesn’t say goodbye as he exits the room and Georgia peeks around the corner. “Always so bright and shiny,” she whispers, with a roll of her eyes. “Next up you’ve got a cute little blond-haired blue-eyed girl that has fallen off the monkey bars and may need some stitches.”

  My adrenaline speeds up and I move into the next room in a hurry. Not sure why I thought it would be the same blonde beauty I saw at River’s End, but thankful it’s not. This one is a few years older and though it’s not one of Zoey’s girls it is a child I know.

  “Emerson,” I move around the examining table and sit on the stool in front of Eric’s daughter. “Let’s see what you’ve got going on under this,” I point to the bandage she is holding against her arm. “Can I take this off?”

  She sniffles but nods her head as she turns away and looks at her mom.

  “There wasn’t anything sharp on the bars, but I think maybe there was something in the grass that cut her arm when she landed.” Kerry, Eric’s wife squints when I remove the bandage. Almost like she feels her daughter’s pain.

  The gash is pretty deep, “She is definitely gonna need a few stitches.”

  Immediately the tears begin to fall from Emerson’s eyes as she starts to wiggle around nervously. “Hey,” I lean to the side getting in her line of sight. “Your Aunt Georgia is going to spray some stuff on the area around the cut, you’ll feel a little sting and then after that, you’ll be completely numb.” She shakes her head. “You know your dad told me that you’re pretty tough, he talks all the time about how when you play soccer, you are unstoppable.”

  She sniffles again but looks at me as she rests her head on her mother’s shoulder.

  “Do you think that you can find that strength so we can get you all patched up and then you can pick whatever you want out of the treasure box.”

  She nods her head, but I can see she is still hesitant. Kerry offers me a smile as I step out of the room and find Georgia exiting the room next door. “Can you get the numbing spray for Emerson and set up a suture tray, she’s gonna need a few.”

  “I’ll get everything all ready for you, and I’ll try to calm her down while you finish up in room three.” The way she is looking at me I can tell she wants to say more but doesn’t. “Take your time.”

  She walks away and I look over at Marcy who offers me a half smile. “No more scheduled appointments today, this one was a walk-in.”

  “Is there something I should know before I go in the room?”

  “It’s all in the chart.” Marcy turns back to her computer and I stand there for a minute wondering what I’m missing.

  After a few seconds I walk toward the door and turn the knob. Stepping inside the room I find Zoey sitting on the examining table with her head down. As I step inside and close the door behind me, she lifts her head.

  “This is the last place I want to be.” It’s the first thing she says to me. “I’ve spent the last three days going back and forth with myself on this. But my schedule doesn’t really leave much time for me to drive an hour outside of town to see some other doctor. So here I am.”

  “This doesn’t have to be weird,” I tell her, grabbing the chair and sliding it forward as I take a seat. I keep a safe distance as I try to work through whatever this is.

  “But it is.” Her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t joking when I said my life is a mess and here I am about to ask you to prescribe me something to tame my nerves which should prove to you just how crazy it is.”

  “Hey.” I place my hand on her knee. It’s not something I wouldn’t do if she was any other patience. “Talk to me, Zoey. I know I bombarded you the other night at your shop and I’m sorry. I’m not sorry I said the things I said, but I know now the timing couldn’t have been more wrong. So for now, let’s table everything I said and focus on what you need. I’m your doctor right now, nothing more. Talk to me like you would if it was doc sitting here in this chair.”

  “I sign the papers for my divorce on Monday.” Her eyes fill with tears, and she looks down at her hands as she twists them in her lap. “I’m not sad about it, I’m actually relieved it’s finally going to be over. But the fact that the only way he’d finalize is if I’d agree to him signing over full rights to the girls and he walks away as if the three of us never existed is eating away at me.”

  Anger and irritation courses through me.

  “My nerves are a mess, and I’m trying to hold it all together. I’m pretending to be unaffected and happy, but the truth is I want to strangle him. I want to go to his house, the one filled with all my things and I want to smash everything into tiny little pieces. I want to shred all of it, and then light it on fire. I wish that part of my life didn’t exist but then it would mean my girls didn’t and for them I’d lived through it all over again but I can’t seem to sleep, because nights are when things are quiet and my mind races.” She says this all in one breath, and then her shoulders sag, like she is now exhausted from her confession. “And now you think I’m insane and I probably am,” she adds, and I chuckle because damn she is still so incredibly beautiful. Even when she is rattled, she is breathtaking.