“Holy shit,” someone mumbles, I think its Aunt Sarah, but all I can focus on is the shiny thing slowing to a stop at the end of the driveway.

  “Is that a carriage?” Emma asks.

  “And two white horses?” Lucy adds as the three of us stand side by side looking toward the end of my parents’ driveway.

  At first, I thought I had to be imagining it, because there is no way there is a Cinderella horse and carriage a few hundred feet away. How is that possible? I didn’t plan a real carriage and horse ride.

  “Dad,” I look back at my father and he only shakes his head. “Wasn’t me,” he says. Looking around at my mom then Gigi and finally Sarah they all tell me what I already know. It wasn’t any of them.

  My pulse is racing, my stomach in knots because I’m not sure how I feel about this. What I do know is now is not the time for me to have my feelings. It’s the girls’ birthday and I refuse to cause a scene.

  “Mommy,” Riley screams so loud I swear it could break glass as she jumps around like she’s trying to put out a fire and pointing toward the horse and carriage. It’s like it was plucked right out of a fairytale and set at the end of the driveway. A man in a suit with a top hat standing at the side holding open the buggy door. It’s white, with shiny gold trim and the horses are wearing matching frills on their backs.

  “Can we go?” Riley asks still continuing to bounce around with excitement. I swallow passed the knot in my throat, feeling a burning sensation.

  “I’ll take them,” Gigi interrupts my thoughts and all I can do it nod in agreement. “Come on my little princesses.”

  “Prince, you come too,” Riley tugs on Jay’s arm and he follows behind them. Glancing back over his shoulder he smiles and I force one of my own. Immediately I know he sees right through it when his brows furrow and he stumbles a bit.

  When they reach the end of the driveway and he helps the girls up, and then Gigi, he again looks back and holds out his hand like he wants me to join them. I only wave them on, because right now, I needed a few minutes to myself.

  I watch as the driver closes the door and then latches it. Slowly he climbs up on the front and after a few minutes the horses begin to move pulling the buggy as the roll away.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Emma says as I turn away and she follows behind. Walking toward the dock I stand at the edge and look out over the water.

  “What? That this is so over the top. “

  Lucy moves up on one side of me and Emma on the next. “I think it’s incredibly sweet,” Lucy says. “The girls are going to be talking about this for weeks, months even. I should start offering carriage rides with a fairytale wedding package. It could be a hit.”

  I listen to them carry on, but honestly, I am so lost in my own head right now making the conversation more theirs instead of ours.

  I hear the sound of heavy boots along the dock and then Lucy and Emma excusing themselves when my father joins us. My dad is a brutally honest man, he doesn’t beat around the bush and he has never shielded me from what’s on his mind. My mother used to get so mad at him when he would tell me just what he was thinking, telling him I was a girl and there were kinder ways to put such things.

  He would simply look at her and tell her he wasn’t going to fool me into believing that the world was nothing but rainbows and lollipops. He wanted me to be prepared and know how to stand up when the situation called for it. It seemed harsh when I was younger, but now I’m thankful for the lessons.

  “Is this a conversation I need to have with our town doctor, or do you plan on doing it yourself?”

  “I’ll be having it, but not here and not during my daughters’ birthday. I’d like to think that will keep you from adding in your two scents but I know it won’t so if you could do me a solid and make sure its long after the party is over, I’d appreciate it very much.”

  “I won’t ruin the girls’ birthday,” he assures me. “But also I won’t let someone use them as an in to get close to you.” He says exactly what I’ve been thinking but was too fearful to say out loud. “You did one hell of a job keeping them sheltered from Carson, but this situation we got now is right on the front lawn and they’ve already got an attachment.”

  “I know.” I can see it. Which is exactly why my entire body feels like it’s on fire.

  “What’s to say next week he doesn’t decide this small town living isn’t for him and he’s off to the city again?”

  “I know, Daddy,” I tell him again because of all the times I need him to understand that I get it, this is it.

  “Not only does he walk away but he breaks their hearts in the process and that I won’t stand by and⁠—”

  “I know,” I say again only this time much more stern, and I turn to the left looking him directly in the eyes. “Of all people Daddy, I understand the depth of this situation. I feel it.” I place my hand over my heart where it feels like its on fire. “I know,” please I need him to believe me.

  When he nods and offers my hand a squeeze before backing away, I am thankful for this being one of the times he decides to let things go.

  seventeen

  . . .

  Jayson

  I tip the driver after he spent an extra thirty minutes offering all the little girls rides around the block in the carriage. It was a great hit and the joy in Riley and Regan’s eyes made the dent to my credit card one hundred percent worth it. I’ve never been the kind of guy to splurge on high dollar items but those two, I’d buy the carriage and horse if I knew we had a place to store it.

  To see their smiles, I’m still feeling the high.

  Long ago the party started to clear out and Gigi offered to give my grams a ride home. Both of the girls were passed out in a pile of opened presents and wrapping paper on the living room of their grandparents’ house. Zoey’s been lingering around the backyard taking down decorations and popping balloons. It hasn’t escaped me how she’s been quiet and doing everything she can to stay on opposite sides of the yard and house from me. At one point I found her watching me, and when we made eye contact, she hurried to look away.

  I walk across the yard, pausing near a table to pick up the tablecloth which had fallen to the ground. Wadding it up, I continue on, doing the same to the next two.

  Each time I’d glance over only to be met with Zoey’s back. The quietness was eating away at me.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask throwing away what’s in my hands.

  “Yeah.” The way she says it, dragging out the word and her tone, she may as well have said hell no instead.

  “Hey.” I lean in making sure I get into her line of sight. “Did I do something wrong?”

  She is quiet for longer than I’d like, my stomach tensing while she simply stares at me without saying anything. Then the second she does speak I am immediately wishing I could go back and not ask the questions at all.

  “My girls aren’t toys who can be played with. They are young and impressionable; they grow attached easily.”

  When she turns to face me, I notice the sadness in her eyes. The lost, look as she worries her lip. It hits me deep because the last thing I ever wanted to do was upset her. “You can’t use them in an attempt to try and get closer to me.”

  “Do you really think I would do something so cruel?” I step back to gain some distance. “Those girls are not something for me to play with Zoey, Jesus give me some credit here. Do I want you to give me a shot? Hell yes, I do, but I would never use Riley and Regan to persuade you to do so. You can tell me no every single day for the rest of our lives and I would still love spending time with them. Those girls are incredible and sweet, they are like a breath of fresh air, there’s so much light in their eyes.”

  I feel like she’s kicked me in the nuts.

  “I’m sorry you went through what you did. I’m sorry he never treated any of you the way you deserved to be treated. But I’m not him. I don’t have some hidden agenda; you can’t put him and me in the same category.” She continues to look at me and when I know this conversation has ended, I lean in and press a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’m not the bad guy here.” I say softly, before leaning back once more.

  I know I can say more. I can stand here and tell her all the ways I will never be her ex, but those are things she should know already. So instead I turn and walk away, because I shouldn’t have to convince her that I’m the good guy here. I’ve never intentionally set out to hurt her, and I’d never hurt her girls.

  “She’s got a lot going on.” Georgia walks into the examining room to find me staring out the window and the river behind the office. It had been a quiet day which meant I’ve had far too long to think. “Had a lot,” she corrects herself.

  “Has.” I turn around to face her. “It’s hard for me to imagine her as anything other than the carefree girl who would have loved the idea of riding around in a carriage with horses. I should have stayed in touch.”

  I can tell Georgia is at a loss. She is trying to be a friend, and I’m thankful but I’m not sure anyone can take the ache in my chest away. Anyone besides the one person I truly need more than anything that is. I came into town feeling less than whole. I loss the one person who meant more to me than anything else. Times like this, when I’m feeling like I don’t know which way to turn, they’d be the times I’d reach out to Gramps. He didn’t always tell what I wanted to hear, but he always told me what I needed to hear.

  “I shouldn’t have let her go,” I confess, feeling more vulnerable than I care to. “It shouldn’t have mattered we were hundreds of miles apart. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved Zoey.”

  “Loved?” Georgia smiles at me already knowing my love it not past tense.

  “The minute she walked into the funeral home it hit me. Then when she knelt down in front of Grams and hugged her, as they shared a moment, everything I ever felt for her, came rushing back. You don’t love like that and forget it. You might try to, you can tuck it away and pretend it doesn’t exist but it only takes one trigger to bring it back full force.”

  “I think it’s safe to say that you both probably wish things had been different. Women tend to hold onto things a little longer than guys. You’re ready to pick up and take off into the what you could be, and she’s stuck in the rut her ex put her in. She’s worried about her girls, and that’s exactly what she should be worried about. They are the innocents in this. But truth is Zoey didn’t ask for what Carson did to her, but if she’s anything like me she is still blaming herself somehow.”

  I let what Georgia has said sink in.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone here to see you?” I look up to find Marcy in the doorway. She steps aside and Zoey moves around her, she’s wearing a pair of leggings with an oversized shirt and her hair is piled on top of her head, almost like she rushed out in a hurry. She looks beautiful, nibbling on her lower lip, obviously nervous.

  “Hi,” she offers worrying her hands in front of her while looking from me to Georgia and then back to me. “Can we talk?”

  “I’ll give you two some privacy,” Georgia answers before I can say a word and walks toward the door. She offers Zoey a smile and then throws a wink in my direction before stepping out and closing the door behind her.

  “Did I interrupt something? I could come back.”

  “It’s fine,” I assure her, remaining where I am close to the window. “We’re wrapping up for the day, it’s been a quiet one.”

  She nods, glancing around the room. “It’s weird not seeing him here?” I know Zoey is referring to my grandfather. It’s something I still struggle with daily. I half expect to show up one day and find him sitting behind his desk. Peering up at me over the rim of his glasses saying I’ve made a mess of his books.

  “I may have overreacted,” the corner of her mouth tips up in the worst forced smile I’ve ever witnessed. “My girls are my limit,” she states as she focuses on the floor at her feet. “I notice the way they look at other little kids who have dads to take them places. I know all the questions will start soon and I’m scared of what I’ll have to say to them. But what terrifies me more is what my explanation with make them feel and the last thing I ever want is for them to think they weren’t wanted.” She pauses, lifting her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and my chest burns with emotion.

  No one could ever know just what Zoey is feeling, the worries she faces or the heartache from her past. She lived it, she is still living it. A big part of me wants to find out where this asshole ex of hers is so I can make him pay for the sadness he’s brought upon Zoey and her daughters.

  “I know you’re not him.” She breaks down, tears rolling over her cheeks and when I try to reach out for her, she lifts her hand holding it out to keep her distance.

  eighteen

  . . .

  Zoey

  Coming here, facing my wrongs, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I’ve been closed off for so long, refusing to fully feel the effects the last several years have had on me. I guess I was always afraid to break because I wasn’t so sure I would be able to pull myself out of it.

  Yet, here I am, standing a few feet away from Jay and I can’t control myself.

  He must think I’m crazy. I feel crazy.

  “I spent months telling myself what we had was nothing more than young love and I would get over it. It took a long time for me to look at another guy and feel like I wasn’t somehow cheating on you. I’d lay awake at night wondering who you were with, what you were doing? I drove myself mad with all the possibilities.” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

  “I realized I was wrong,” I shrug. “I knew what I felt for you wasn’t something that I could replace. Because I tried,” his brows furrow. “I convinced myself I felt something for Carson. I told myself to stop comparing him to you. I forced myself to overlook his flaws and had myself believing it was me who created the issues we had.”

  Jay rounds his desk and I can tell he wants to touch me, but instead he leans against the edge of his desk and crosses his arms over his chest.

  “He’d mess up and I’d pretend I didn’t see it. He’d drink and I’d shake it off. But the truth is I never should have married him because I never really loved him. I created this fairytale in my mind and actually had myself believing it would work for a while. But when I got pregnant and he told me he didn’t want kids I knew. There was no future with a man who didn’t love his kids.”

  “I’m sorry I overstepped,” Jay interrupts.

  “That’s the thing you didn’t,” I wipe at my tears. “You did more for them in a few hours than their own father has their entire life. His one condition in order to make our divorce final was to sign over his rights to them. He literally wanted legal paperwork to show he’d never be held responsible for anything involving them. And right then as I looked across the table at him I felt nothing. Okay so I lie, I felt like strangling him but that’s an entirely different conversation.”

  Jay smiles and I feel a little less edgy.

  “I’m sorry I took my insecurities out on you. Because in my heart I know without a doubt you and him, are two completely different people. I also know you do not have it in you to hurt my girls, you aren’t built that way.”

  Another round of tears fall and this time he pushes off his desk and reaches for me. I don’t stop him, instead I lean in and rest my head on his shoulder.

  The feeling of him holding me, his hand on my back the other the back of my head, for the first time in so long I felt like I could let my guard down.

  “They haven’t stopped talking about the Cinderella carriage ride.” I smile when his hand flexes at my waist. “Or the prince who rode in it with them.”

  I feel his chest vibrate beneath my cheek and I smile.

  “I’m just afraid of them getting attached to you and then getting their little hearts broken.”

  He takes a deep breath, as he releases it, it tickles my forehead. “And you think I’ll break their hearts?”

  “Not intentionally,” leaning back I look up to find him watching. He has yet to release his hold on me and if I’m being honest, I’m thankful. “Life happens, things happen.”

  “Things,” he still did the jaw flexing thing when he’s trying to hold himself together. “What kind of things?”

  I shrug trying to look away and he lifts his hands and places his thumb under my chin turning me back so he can see my face. “No shrugging or pretending you don’t have these things running through your mind. Tell me,” He holds my stare and again I am reminded of how demanding he can be. I used to find it charming, now…okay it’s still charming.

  “You could decide Magnolia Grove isn’t big enough, that it doesn’t offer what you want. You could wake up next week and make the choice to return to Mobile. Then I’ll have two girls who are here, wondering where their prince went.”

  “And you?” I know what he’s asking. But I’m not sure I’m ready to admit him being back here has reminded me of exactly what it felt like to have something to be excited about.

  Closing my eyes, I try not to say what’s running through my mind. A girl has to have the upper hand.

  “I’m not leaving, Zoey,” he says this so low it’s more of a whisper as his breath fans out overly lips. Chills cover my arms, shoulders, and spread across my back. “I’m home.”

  I take a deep breath, feeling my chest burn with emotion.

  “I haven’t felt this content in years.” His lips skim over mine, and my heart races. “It’s not the place, it’s the people, and I’m where I belong. I don’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else.”

  When he presses his lips to mine in the softest, sweetest kiss, my body sags against his.

  He pulls back much too soon. But what he says confirms that Jayson Lincoln is still the loving caring man I knew him to be. “I’ll wait for you, for however long it takes, because I’m not going anywhere. I want to be in Riley and Regan’s life, however it plays out, but I would also love it if I could be in yours too.”