“And the drugs?”

  “That could be true. You don’t know.”

  “I do know,” I reply calmly. “And you know too.”

  “Look, I saved you, didn’t I? The press isn’t crawling all over you. I told them you ran off to Mississippi because that’s where you’re from.”

  “That isn’t true!”

  “They don’t know that.”

  All of this is so crazy, I can barely stand it. “You’ve lost it, Jeremy.”

  “I just want you back, that’s all. I want our perfect life back. Is that too much to ask?”

  “Perfect? It isn’t perfect, it never had been.”

  He cocks his head and tries to give me the weirdest version of puppy dog eyes that I’ve ever seen. “But it can be. I can forgive what you did wrong and you can forgive me. Fuck all that stuff you said before, we can just have a good time. Don’t you think? A real marriage this time?”

  It would be so easy to just say yes. Not because I want to, just for an easy life, but I don’t. I shake my head and do what I can to shut this idea down completely before it gets legs.

  “Jeremy, I don’t think we can. This is what I’m trying to tell you…”

  “I’ll change,” he promises me with a mania dancing behind his eyes. “This has all made me see how much I love you, how wrong I’ve been to treat you like I have. I want to make it up to you, to be better. I will be the man you need me to be.”

  A while back, these words might have sucked me back in. I might have wanted to give him another shot, but there’s just no chance now. I cannot go back to that life. I don’t know what I’m saying wrong, why he can’t see what I’m trying to say. I might have to try a different, riskier tactic.

  “Jeremy.” I start soft so not to put his back up right away. “I will never be able to love you again, not after seeing what real affection is like.”

  “Urgh, what from your lover? That disgusts me.” He screws up his nose to prove a point. “You disgust me. You have known me for years and him for about five minutes.”

  “Yes, and he’s treated me right, not the way you treated me at all.”

  “He will though. He might start off all nice, men always do. But then their primal side comes out. You know, you seem to think you’re something very special, worthy of being faithful to, but in all honesty, no woman is. Men aren’t designed to be faithful, it just won’t happen. Monogamy is something invented by women to tie men down, it isn’t real, it’s not practical. So, why not stay with a man who can at least give you a good life?”

  “So, now you’re saying you will still cheat on me?”

  “I’m saying monogamy isn’t possible. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.”

  I screw up my nose in horror, unable to believe what I’m hearing. I’ve had some crazy things said to me over the years, but this must be the worst. It’s almost like he doesn’t hear himself. Maybe he doesn’t realize what he’s saying.

  “Many men are faithful…”

  “No, they aren’t. They are just better at lying. I respect you too much to lie to you.”

  “Oh wow, thank you for that,” I shot back sarcastically. “That’s so lovely.”

  “Don’t be like that, Nova, just listen to what I’m saying.”

  “You know, I just don’t want to hear it anymore. I’ve spent years listening to you, believing you, trusting you, and you’ve thrown it all back in my face.”

  Maybe at some point, I’ll feel really good to say all this to Jeremy, but right now I’m too numb to feel amazing for finally telling this idiot everything. I just want him gone. I’m still worrying about Clara, I’m still aware this could take a turn, and I just want it done.

  “I haven’t thrown anything back in anyone’s face, don’t be a bitch again…”

  I rub my forehead, an ache starting to come. This is getting painful now. “Jeremy, just go.”

  “I’m not leaving without you, Nova.”

  “But why would you want me again? Now your reputation is ruined by people knowing what I’ve done. Why would you want me anywhere near you?”

  “I can make it work, I’m already coming up with plausible lies…”

  “What to cover up for me falling for someone else?”

  “You can’t fall for someone you don’t know.”

  “I do know him. Better than I know you.”

  “You’re winding me up.” Jeremy goes red and the anger vein pops. “You’re fucking bullshitting me here. You do not love this idiot.”

  “I don’t love you.”

  He narrows his eyes at me, sizing me up. I can almost see the raging thoughts racing across his brain. My heart hammers loudly but with a bit of luck, he’ll be gone soon. This might really be the kick he needs to get the hell out of my life forever.

  “I can’t just let you go, Nova. I can’t just give you up.”

  “Don’t think of it that way, think of it as setting yourself free.”

  “Okay fine. Maybe I will. Yeah. Setting myself free, that’s good. I like that. A fresh start and all that. A life without you in it.”

  “Yes,” I gasp, too happy for words. “Exactly. Meet someone who wants the same things that you do.”

  “Yeah, and I won’t ever have to see you again.”

  “Sure…” This time I’m much more hesitant. “Exactly.”

  “Because you won’t be around anymore. I don’t have to see you.”

  He steps to one side and raises his hand in the air. I see a stain of sweat at his pit which sickens me. I do what I can to hide my disgust, so I don’t piss him off further.

  “What… what are you doing?”

  “You’ll see.” His smile is too smug, it sends a nasty chill racing up and down my spine. “Any minute now.”

  “You’re being weird, Jeremy…” I gulp anxiously.

  “I know. But soon it won’t matter.”

  I step back inside, ready to slam the door behind me, but he has me intrigued. I can’t help it. Of all the things that I’ve seen Jeremy do, it isn’t this. He’s acting like a crazy person. I wish I had my cell phone with me, so I could finally just call the cops.

  “I think I’m just going to… go now…”

  He doesn’t answer, his smile twists even more. Fire flashes behind his eyes, a bit like when he lunges for me. He won’t hit me here though, will he? Then his hand falls down. His eyes remain on me, locking me in place, keeping me stuck in position…

  Bang!

  Holy shit! It runs through my mind faster than the speed of light. He’s hired a hit man. He wants me dead.

  Then before I can even react, everything goes black.

  18

  Zane

  Darkness begins to fall and I’m pretty sure that the press will give up soon. It isn’t that interesting a story. I haven’t murdered anyone, I haven’t done anything worthy of them sticking around for days on end, so I assume they’re going to go soon. Once they do, I’m out of here. I don’t know where I’ll go, but somewhere away from my house. At least for a while.

  “This isn’t running away,” I remind myself. “This is just getting some space.”

  Once I’m in a safe place, I’ll message Sal and let her know to avoid coming to the office for a while. As long as I still pay her as normal, I’m sure she’ll be fine. I guess there’s no guarantee that she’ll remain loyal to me, but I can’t really fight that.

  I’d like to think she would, but with all this going on, there isn’t much chance.

  I glance back at my bag, mentally checking everything off on the list that I’ll need, and once I have, I dart my eyes back to the window. Soon enough, they’ll leave. It can’t be much longer.

  Ring, ring…

  Like I have been doing all day long, I keep leaping on my phone the moment it rings. Any number I don’t recognize I don’t answer because it’s generally a journalist, but even though it’s only been a few hours, I crave the voice of another human, like I’ve been in solitude.

  “Nova?” My heart races a million times faster. “Oh my God.”

  I haven’t heard from her all day despite numerous attempts to contact her, and that’s had me worried. Thank goodness she’s finally ringing me now. Relief washes over me, this is the first good thing to happen to me all freaking day long.

  “Hello?” I gasp out. “Nova.”

  “Ah, Zane.” A smug male voice answers instead. “It’s good to finally speak to you.”

  “Who is this?” I snap, the anger rolling back through me again.

  “I cannot believe you’re acting like you don’t know me. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  “If we were friends, I would know who you are.”

  “We know each other. You know that we’ve been in the same place at the same time, lots and lots. You can’t deny that we know one another.”

  “I…” I don’t want to think about who this might be. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Okay fine.” The mystery voice lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll be honest. It’s Jeremy.”

  I half suspected, but hearing this crushes me. It absolutely destroys me. Knowing that Jeremy must be with Nova is awful. Now, I assume this is going to be the call telling me that she’s gone back to him and to leave her alone. Since it’s coming from her cell phone, she must have agreed to it. And that’s the hardest part of all.

  “Jeremy? What do you want?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been speaking to Nova…”

  I hang my head low, blue with sadness. It’s happening, she’s done with me, it’s over. Much as I knew it the moment I got the note, it still really aches to know that I’ve lost her.

  “Let’s cut to the chase, is she back with you?”

  He cackles loudly, the sound radiating through the phone. “Oh no, she isn’t.”

  “Right… so, what’s going on then? Why are you contacting me?”

  “I just want to let you know that Nova is dead.”

  The world falls away from underneath me, I can barely keep standing upright. It’s almost as if someone has whipped the carpet away and now I’m tumbling, falling, tripping. I can’t stop that sensation from flooding me. I reach out to grab the window sill to keep me upright.

  “What… what are you talking about?” I gasp desperately. “What do you mean?”

  “Do you not know what dead means? You hang around with shady characters, don’t you?”

  Hot blood rushes to my ears. “You fucking asshole, that was you, wasn’t it?”

  “I tried to warn you. You don’t take away something that belongs to me.”

  “I didn’t take her away. She came to me. I didn’t do anything.”

  “You fucked her pretty quick, didn’t you? You sure as hell did that to me.” I’m silent. He knows what happened, there’s no denying it. “So, now I’ve taken her away from you too. If I can’t have her then nor can you. Now we’re even.”

  “I didn’t fucking kill her though. Are you joking about that?”

  “I’m not joking. She’s dead. Oh listen, you can hear the sirens coming now to pick her up.”

  I do hear the sirens, but it doesn’t feel real. This has to be some sort of trick he’s playing on me. I need to keep him on the phone to figure out what’s going on.

  “Well, you took away my business too,” I insist. “So, that’s two things.”

  “I thought that she was worth two things.”

  “You are fucking crazy. I don’t believe you. You haven’t killed her.”

  “Oh, I have. And now the guns are coming for you too. Sorry, I guess that means I’m taking three things away from you. One of them is your life.”

  I hear what sounds like gunshots, but I don’t want to get sucked into his reign of terror. He must be doing something on the phone…

  But then I peer out the window and I see sheer panic from the press. They are all running now as if they’ve actually seen something, which terrifies me. My blood runs ice cold. Jeremy is a madman, a mad powerful man with money, and he’s coming for me.

  “Uh oh. You better run little piggy, or I will get you.”

  “What the fuck is this, Jeremy? You’re a freak.”

  “I know, don’t you regret messing with me? This is for all the men you steal their wives from, and their money too. Hard earned cash going to bitter bitches.”

  “I don’t just do divorce…”

  “That’s the cornerstone of what you do, and that’s enough for me. Also, I can’t imagine it’s just my wife that you crossed a line with. I bet you do it all the time.”

  “I don’t.”

  “So, it’s just my wife? Well, that’s a big mistake. I will make you pay.”

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  “You need to stop this. Innocent people are going to get hurt.”

  “As long as you’re one of them I don’t care.”

  “I’ll go to the police.”

  “It’ll be too late. You’ll be dead by then.”

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  “Fuck!”

  I hang up the phone to Jeremy, cutting off the one line I have to the outside world, and also to the only person who can stop this. He won’t though, not for me. If he killed Nova, which I really fucking hope that he hasn’t, then I’m nothing.

  “Fuck, I need to get out, I need to…”

  I don’t know what I need to do, so I do what feels a bit like the coward’s way out, and also might be exactly what Jeremy expects me to do but I don’t have any choice, and I call the police. I explain the situation rapidly to the operator who promises to get someone around to mine as soon as possible… but I’m scared that Jeremy is right, and it’ll be too late.

  Now the bangs seem further away, but I don’t know if I can trust that. I don’t know what’s being created by my mind to protect me. I duck down behind the couch, looking far less like a superhero or a prince to rescue a damsel in distress, and more like a coward.

  I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to die. Not now, not here like this.

  I should not have gone near Nova. If that’s the message that Jeremy wants me to get, then I have it. I did already know that, but I couldn’t keep away. I slide my eyes closed and think about her gorgeous smile, her lovely eyes, her sweet nature. I remember all the happy times we had together, the way she made me laugh, the way she looked in the throes of passion, the way she speaks… God, all of it is so perfect. She was perfect, what we shared was wonderful.

  Maybe that snippet of happiness is worth all of this.

  I slump back, my head falling on the couch and I block the shots out. I don’t want to live this horrible moment. If this is the last moment of my life then I just want to think of Nova. Nothing else really matters.

  It isn’t until my cell phone beeps that I drag my eyes open again.

  Nova: Give it up, Zane. It’s time to face your doom. Face what you’ve done. Every crime gets a punishment, and this is yours.

  Nova: You’ve lost your business, there isn’t any getting that back. No one can recover from that sort of reputation damage.

  Nova: Now you’ve lost your woman as well. She’s dead. She isn’t ever coming back no matter how much you want her.

  Nova: You already don’t have a family here, do you? I know all about that too. Your mom is in another country and your father vanished off the grid.

  Nova: It might be time for you to just die. No one will mourn you.

  “Fuck you.” I type out a million words at the speed of light, anger racing all the way through me. There are so many things that I want to get out, that I might not be able to actually say if I end up dead here. This might be my only chance. I don’t like saying all these things to Nova’s phone, but I know it isn’t her reading them. “You fucking prick!”

  But I don’t get to hit send because there’s a loud hammer on the door. My immediate thought is that it’s one of Jeremy’s hit men, but then I reassure myself that criminals wouldn’t knock. If it was them my door would be smashed to smithereens. I’m surprised that hasn’t happened anyway. Maybe someone has seen all the CCTV around the building.

  No, it must be the police, here to help me. I leap up from my position and make my way to the front door. I peer through the hole in my door to see who it is. I could check the cameras but that will take far too much time…

  Who the hell is that?

  It doesn’t look like a killer or a police officer.

  “Hello?” I call out, nervously giving away my position.

  “Zane?” She stood on tiptoes but can’t see me through the hole. “I’m Clara, Nova’s friend. She’s been shot.”

  “Oh fuck.” It’s real, this has really happened. Nova’s been killed. Hearing it from this person, Nova’s friend, somehow makes it a million times worse. The numbness gives away to sheer terror. I’m falling all over again. “Fuck! come in.”

  I open the door and she flies inside, my thoughts written all across her face.

  “Is she…” I can’t bring myself to say it. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know, I was sick, I didn’t know anything had happened until it was too late. She was being taken away in the ambulance.”

  “Ambulance? That’s a good sign, don’t you think?” I can feel myself clutching at straws. “There must be a chance to save her if she’s going to the hospital.”

  “I… I don’t know. I’m just so scared.” She rakes her fingers through her hair. “It was Jeremy, wasn’t it? He did this, and I think he might come for me.”

  “You shouldn’t have come here, he’s after me.”

  “Oh God,” she groans loudly. “There’s no escaping him.”

  “The cops are supposed to be coming soon. Then we can get rid of him for good.”

  Clara doesn’t look convinced but she nods. Right now, I think she’s just happy not to be alone. I have to admit that I am too.

  19

  Nova

  “Mom?” I can’t believe what I’m seeing, but there’s no other person this could be. “Is that you? And what are you doing here? Aren’t you…?”