I’ve lost my head as well, but I’m not going to tell Dan about it. For one, Nova is a client and I definitely shouldn’t have. Secondly, for all the bad things Dan has done, he hasn’t ever done that - as far as I know - and finally, I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t need to hear comments or anything negative. Today, I just want to enjoy it.

  Telling him wouldn’t get him off my back, it would only raise more questions.

  “Okay, so no more double dates. How about a night in the town?”

  I screw up my nose. “Pool parties and nightclubs… don’t you think we’re a bit old for that?”

  “Nah, no way. Not when you’re as hot as us. That way, you can meet someone.”

  “Why are you so obsessed with me meeting someone? It’s weird, Dan.”

  “Stop deflecting. I’m just being a good friend, wanting you to be happy. I think you’re lonely.”

  I pull back and stare at him. Everyone seems to have this opinion of me which is strange when I’m doing so well by myself. Why doesn’t anyone see that I’m just fine, thank you very much.

  “I don’t know, maybe, we’ll see. I can’t this week because I’m so busy.”

  “You’re always busy. Come with me tonight. Just do it on a whim.”

  “I can’t, I’m sorry. Not tonight.” No way in hell with Nova at my home. I can’t help it, I only want to be with her. “I have too much to do. Maybe at the weekend though.”

  “I can already tell that isn’t going to happen. You’re letting me down, Zane.”

  “Soon, Dan, as soon as I can. It isn’t that I don’t want to come out, I just can’t right now…”

  He rises from his seat and stalks off without saying goodbye, leaving me with the slightly disturbing anonymous note which was going to irritate me all day long. Stupid idiot who can’t even sign his name…

  11

  Nova

  “Just do it,” I tell myself seriously as I tap my cell phone over and over again. “She needs to know.”

  Clara has to be informed about this or she will kill me when she comes back from New York and finds that I’m not at home. She told me to call her the minute something happened, and I didn’t. I might have even caught her before she got on the plane yesterday, but I wasn’t going to ruin her trip like that.

  Plus, it all worked out in the end anyway, didn’t it? I ended up here… with Zane.

  “Oh God!” I toss my head into my hands, but the giant grin remains on my face. “What am I doing?”

  I know this isn’t where I should be, not really, I’ve told myself the same thing over and over again, but I can’t push the happiness away. I can’t stop feeling incredible. My body is open, my heart raw, my soul exposed, and I love it. I didn’t realize how locked away I have been over the last few years.

  “Okay, just do it, Clara will be pleased for me, she started this after all.”

  I leap up and pace the room while my cell phone presses to my ear. Each sound bolts anxiety like lightning through my system, but I can’t deny the little bit of excitement too.

  “Hello, Nova? Are you okay?” Clara gushes, half excitedly, half with nerves.

  “I’m good, how are you? How’s New York?”

  “Oh, New York is incredible. This is the best trip that I’ve ever been on. I have so much to tell you and its only full day one… oh, but I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. Then I can show you pictures too.”

  “What about Kem? Is he enjoying himself?”

  “He really is. He’s been such a sweetie. He’s making me love him even more.”

  “That’s amazing.” I cradle the phone close to my ear, smiling happily. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “So, what’s going on with you? Is this a call that you need me and I’m blabbering on?”

  “Actually no.” I swell with pride, knowing that I handled this alone. “I don’t need you. I just called to let you know that things took a bad turn last night with Jeremy.”

  “Oh, no.” Her voice turns very serious. “Has he done something terrible?”

  “It doesn’t matter what happened. I got out before things could go really wrong.”

  “What do you mean, you got out? I don’t understand…”

  “I’m no longer at the house, I couldn’t stay there anymore, it got way too much.”

  “Wait a minute, stop right there.” Clara sucks in a couple of breaths. “Jeremy has done some terrible things to you in the past and you’ve stayed, so I know there’s something you aren’t telling me here.”

  “I just don’t want to worry you, that’s all. I have it all under control.”

  “Screw that. You tell me what’s going on right now. Don’t leave anything out.”

  “Okay.” I nod to myself, trying to recall all the details. “Well, Jeremy was in the last night. More than usual, and he freaked out. He ended up shutting me in the cupboard under the stairs…”

  “What the fuck? Do you know how messed up that sounds? He locked you in a cupboard.”

  “I do know, which is why I got out. I couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t lock me, but it was bad enough.”

  “So, you are out now? There isn’t any way of him getting to you?” I make an agreeable sound. “So, what happened? Where did you go? How did you manage to sneak away from him?”

  “I called the lawyer to come and save me.”

  She pauses for a beat too long. “You did what? Zane Black came to get you?”

  “Well, you were at the airport and I didn’t want to wreck your trip, so I called the only other person who could help me. I know it seems a bit mental now, but in the heat of the moment, I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Holy hell… I don’t know what to say to that… did he take you to the charity housing?”

  I bite down on my bottom lip, unsure how she’s going to take this next part. “Actually, he took me to his home. I didn’t want to go to any charity place because I thought Jeremy might find me and he was mad already.”

  “So… you’re at his house right now? At the lawyer’s house? That’s… wow.”

  “Yes…” She doesn’t sound sure about this at all. Maybe I shouldn’t mention the fact that we slept together. That’s probably something I should keep as a delicious little secret just for me. She might think it came from nowhere, she won’t understand that I’ve been lusting after him for a long time. “I am. Just until I get sorted.”

  I want to tell her that he’s my hero, that I need him right now, but I think that might be another conversation best to have face to face. I can make her really see then that this isn’t a big mistake. Just another one to add to the list I have already made. It’s okay, Clara will get it soon enough.

  “Well, once I get back you can come and stay with me, okay? I’ll keep you safe.”

  I could argue that’s the first place he’ll look, but it isn’t the time or place. Instead, I simply agree and reassure her that I know what I’m doing and that I’m being very careful. We eventually roll into goodbyes and hanging up. I’m sure she will be troubled, but I hope that I’ve calmed her down enough so that she can enjoy the rest of her trip. I never wanted to disturb that. I only wanted her to know where I am.

  Her fears are unfounded anyway. I do know what I’m doing, this is right. This is better than being at home anyway, and right now, keeping the hell away from Jeremy is the most important thing.

  Oh God, I wonder what Jeremy is doing right now. I bet he’s utterly fuming. I don’t know if he would have gone to the police or not, he might be too worried about what people will think about him for that. He’ll be raging at the very least. If he comes for me, then I don’t know what will happen. It’ll sure as hell be dangerous though.

  I know they have procedures and things in place at the charity housing to make sure no one can get to the victims they are protecting, but I must admit that I still feel much better here. I’m sure he won’t know Zane, never mind where he lives. Plus, he has a lot of security in place. CCTV, alarms, that sort of thing. I feel safe here. Even without Zane around, I can sense him protecting me, even from afar.

  I glance my eyes around Zane’s house and wrap my arms around me. The buttery soft material of Zane’s large tee shirt swamps my frame in the most amazing way. It’s so nice to wear this while I wait for my clothing to wash, it’s lovely. Sure, it’s a bit confusing when I’m surely trying to stay away from anything that feels too relationship-like so that my emotions don’t get entangled with anything, but it’s a warm, pleasant sensation.

  And apparently, Zane is going to come back with more clothing for me tonight. Clothes, so I don’t feel stuck here, so I can escape if I want to. I know what he’s doing with this, he’s trying to keep me feeling free, which is so lovely. He’s the complete opposite of everything I’m used to.

  I will find a way to pay him back, that’s for sure. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll get some money from somewhere. I’ll find a job and save up because I don’t want to be indebted to another man ever. I don’t know what skills I have, what sector I can work in, but I’ll figure it out somewhere along the line.

  Now I’m free to do whatever the hell I like. The freedom is a little overwhelming, my head spins with it. I almost get lost in it until my cell phone bleeps out, shaking the silence.

  Zane: You said size six, right?

  I smile to myself, picturing him in a clothing store, falling apart. He might be really good at it, might be buying clothes for women all the time, but somehow, I don’t see it. I can’t imagine that happening. I bet he’s tugging his dark hair, rubbing his cheeks, attracting the attention of the attractive sales assistants who are tripping over themselves to catch his eye. A man like Zane must have female attention everywhere.

  I don’t know if I should be jealous about that, not that I have any claim over him, but I don’t anyway. We just shared a moment together and it was wonderful. It isn’t going to last, it’s just for now, so it’s nice to imagine other women ogling over him, knowing that for a moment I had his attention. Last night, his eyes were all on me.

  God, I want that again. Having his focus all on me was wonderful. It sends a shiver racing up and down my spine to think of it again. If I’m going to be here for a little while longer, there might be a chance.

  Nova: Yes, six in shoes and clothes. Don’t panic too much, I don’t want to be a nuisance.

  Zane: You aren’t. This is a fun way to spend my lunch break.

  I giggle and clutch my hand to my mouth, all lightheaded like a school girl with a crush. I haven’t ever felt this way, even with Jeremy in the beginning. He simply had me in awe of him, but because of that, I couldn’t truly ever be myself. I wanted him to like me so much, I wasn’t ever myself with him.

  We were never really married. I just wish I followed my gut and called it off before it happened.

  Nova: I’m sorry, I do appreciate it. It’s very kind of you.

  Zane: Here, let me send you some pictures.

  A ream of images come through on my phone of sweatpants and leggings, nice looking tee shirts and a hoody or two. Not the sort of thing I would have worn around Jeremy, he always wanted me to be feminine, but right now during this transitional period of my life, I just want comfort.

  Nova: That all looks perfect, thank you so much. Any of that.

  Zane: Great, well I will be home by six, so I’ll see you then.

  He keeps reassuring me that he won’t be long, it’s so nice. It’s almost as if he knows that I’ve spent many years on edge, not knowing when my husband will be home and what mood he’ll be in.

  Nova: Great, I will see you very soon.

  I want to thank him now for everything that he’s done but I don’t have any cash to buy him a gift. I guess the only thing I can really do is cook him a nice meal when he gets in. I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking. I know that I can do a good job, and if I use ingredients that he already has here I can guarantee that it’ll be something he likes. He lives alone, he doesn’t have to buy for someone else.

  I happily bound into the kitchen, knowing how I’m going to spend the rest of the day now. I flick the radio to life, bring up some cheesy pop song that I can dance along to, and I get to work. I’m in my element, happy and carefree. The real me might finally be coming out at last…

  12

  Zane

  “Urgh, what a day,” I announce loudly with an eye roll as I push my front door open. “I’m so glad it’s done.”

  When it’s been a long one like today has been, I usually like to be alone when I get home to de-stress, but today I’ve spent the whole time excited to get back to see Nova. She’s been playing in the back of my brain, giving me something to look forward to, and now I want that reward so badly it hurts.

  “Oh, wow, you’re a bit early.” She scoots around the corner into my hallway with just one of my tee shirts covering her frame. She looks so delicious my mouth actually waters. “I’m still cooking dinner…”

  I inhale deeply, the spices filling my nostrils. “Oh, whatever you’re cooking smells phenomenal.”

  “I wanted it to be out on the table before you got in. Sorry, it isn’t there…”

  “You aren’t a nineteen fifties housewife,” I laugh. “I don’t think I have ever had anyone cook for me before. That’s so sweet of you, you didn’t need to do that. I could have ordered a take-out.”

  “I wanted to do something nice, to say thank you for everything you’ve done.”

  “Well, this is amazing. I can’t wait to taste it.” Much as I’d rather like her to stay in my tee shirt because she looks absolutely stunning in it, I hand her the bags of shopping. “But first, here are all the clothes for you.”

  She roots through them, her eyes lighting up like a beacon. “You got it all! I thought you were just going to get me an outfit. This will take me forever to pay you back. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip, resisting the urge to tell her that she doesn’t have to pay me anything back since I can afford it. By this point, it’s become a pride thing, she doesn’t want to owe me anything.

  “You can take all the time in the world to pay me back, there isn’t any rush at all.”

  “There are two pairs of shoes in here! I only need one to run if that’s what I want.”

  “Well, we don’t know how long you’re going to be here, do we? So, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

  We share a smile and I can feel the intense emotions flowing between us again. There’s something so powerful about staring into her pale green eyes. It makes my heart skip and dance in my chest.

  “I might go and slip some of these clothes on.” She finally breaks the magic. “Then dinner will be done.”

  “Great, I’ll go and sort out some drinks. Then I might go change myself.”

  As she bounds up the stairs, two at a time, I try to wrap my head around what’s happening. I don’t understand why it’s so normal to have Nova here. She’s virtually a stranger, someone it should be awkward with, but being around her is as easy as breathing. She’s like oxygen, I need her around.

  Be careful, you idiot, I warn myself. This could be a recipe for disaster.

  But I don’t listen, I continue into the kitchen, whistling happily to myself as I pour myself and Nova a glass of red wine. This might well be the craziest thing that I’ve ever done, but I don’t hate it. I can’t seem to meet anyone that I like in the conventional sense, and maybe this is why. Normal love isn’t for me…

  Not that this is love. I’m not that delusional. It’s just something that feels nice right now.

  “Oh… wow…” I spin to see Nova standing in the door frame. She’s really wearing those leggings and tee shirt in a way I wasn’t expecting. It’s just comfortable, casual clothing, yet she’s breathtaking. The air literally strips from my lungs, it’s hard for me to even form words. “You look lovely, Nova…”

  “Oh, thank you.” Her smile is so bright, it makes her even more stunning. “Thanks for getting them.”

  I hand her a drink and she took it before heading over to the oven. I watch her for a moment, reveling in how beautiful she looks in my kitchen, before forcing myself to leave and get dressed. I don’t always wear something too casual after work, but today I have the need to be in a tee and shorts myself.

  By the time I reach the bottom of the stairs, the meal is set up on the table. It immediately hits me how much effort she’s put into this. I’m so touched, I want to hold her so tightly…

  “Thank you so much for cooking this. It looks lovely.”

  We take our seats and dig in. It’s been a while since I’ve had a home cooked meal, and it tastes amazing. Nova is a phenomenal cook, I want to keep her around for the food as much as anything else.

  “When did you learn to cook so well?”

  “I learned a bit when I was in the orphanarium, but mostly over the last couple of years.”

  I nod slowly, knowing that’s a topic I shouldn’t push since it links to Jeremy.

  “So, you don’t know how to cook?” she asks with a smile.

  “I do a bit. I used to help my mom with cooking, but then I just get so busy with work I don’t have time.”

  “Ah, it sounds like you’re waiting for someone to take care of you. A wife of some kind.”

  “Oh, no it isn’t that at all, I just…” I suddenly realize that she’s joking. “Oh, come off it.”

  “I’m sorry, I just can’t resist teasing you. I don’t know what it is.”

  I love her giggle, it’s the most musical sound I’ve ever heard. I can’t resist joining in.

  “Okay, so I might not be as self-reliant as you, but I’m coping just fine. Just about…”

  “Well, that’s okay, I haven’t had a choice. I needed to take care of myself.”

  “Do you mind me asking what happened to your parents?”